I met the man of my dreams on Valentine’s Day over a decade ago. The only problem with that is he fell in love at first sight with my fraternal twin sister.

We were at an anti-Valentine’s Day event at a local bar when Sam walked in with his friend Eric.

They were both attractive, tall, and had amazing smiles. We thought they were brothers, but they just looked alike.

It was surreal. They saw us at the same time we saw them and walked over to our table. The bar was crowded, there were few tables, and we happened to have two open chairs.

My sister kicked me under the table and said, “I got left.” I looked up at them and on the left were the most beautiful soft brown eyes I’d ever seen.

They reached the table and the eyes said, “Hi, I’m Sam and this is Eric,” while looking into my sister’s eyes.

She said, “I’m Erin and that’s my sister Erica.”

Eric smiled and sat down next to me. “Can I get you two a drink?” He asked. At least I think he did—I was too lost in Sam to hear him.

He tapped my almost empty wine glass, picked it up, and smelled it.

“Merlot?” He asked.

I snapped out of it and said, “Yes, and she’s having Chardonnay.”

“Great, I’ll be right back,” Eric said before sauntering over to the bar.

I started to ask Sam a question, something innocuous and tripe about them coming there often, but he was a goner already. His hand was on the back of Erin’s chair and they were talking as if they were the only two people in the room.

Eric returned with the drinks and sat next to me. “Are you girls V-day haters or just dateless?” He asked.

The way he spoke irritated me. He seemed slick, I hated slick and I had less than no interest in a pussy hound.

“We’re dateless. Neither of us is seeing anyone right now. We’re almost done with school so whether consciously or not, we’re putting graduation first and getting ready to move into the real world.”

He nodded and started bragging about his job as a trader on some board of exchange. While he was prattling on about options and the market, I was staring at Sam and my sister.

She was laughing and touching his arm and hand. She brushed her long, honey-blonde hair behind her ear. She even bit her lip. They were her usual signs. I knew she wanted him and I wanted to kill her.

As Eric droned on about his new Lexus, Sam interrupted and said, “Would you ladies like to get some dinner? I know we’ll probably have a bit of a wait, but Benihana is nearby and is one of my favorite places.”

My sister perked up, “We love it too. Erica always wants the Sake squirted into her mouth. She never misses a drop.”

Everyone but me laughed.

“Bitch!” I thought as Eric said, “I bet you swallow it all as well.”

Sam had the grace to frown and shake his head at his friend. “Eric, be nice. Sorry about that ladies. A comedian, he is not.”

“What?” Eric said laughing at himself.

Erin said, “Give us a minute to freshen up and we’ll head out.”

I stood and joined her for our trip to the bathroom.

“What an ass!” I said.

“Oh, relax. Sam is amazing and I don’t want you to blow this for me,” Erin demanded. “Put on your big girl panties, give him a ride, and never speak to him again, but I really like Sam.”

I wanted to smack her, but let it go.

“Besides, you know you swallow.”

“Fuck you!” I said as we laughed out the door.

Dinner was uneventful and the conversation was along the same vein as it was at the bar. By the time we finished our wine after dinner, Eric wasn’t even a candidate for a one-night stand—not that I did that very often. As good looking as he was, he was too full of himself.

After dinner, we split into couples. Eric drove them and Sam and my sister drove us, so it worked out. Eric took me to a cigar lounge. Seriously. He took me to a cigar lounge on Valentine’s Day.

They didn’t serve alcohol, but he had a locker there that had Scotch in it. Who the hell has a locker at a cigar lounge? No, he wasn’t going to make the cut.

When he dropped me off at my parents’ house, I saw Erin’s car in the driveway. He had the nerve to invite himself in but I brushed him off. Without a kiss on the cheek or exchanging numbers, he left disappointed.

I walked into the living room and found my sister gushing about Sam to my parents.

“Ew! You smell like an ashtray,” my mother complained.

“Yeah, she picked Prince Charming and I was stuck with a frog that took me to a cigar lounge,” I said and stormed off to wash the stink off of me.

We were both living at home while we finished school and I had to deal with Erin coming home from every date with Sam, gushing.

I heard about every anecdote he told, I knew as much about his job on the options exchange as I knew about my father’s, I knew he had a penis that was bigger than Erin’s vibrator, and that he ate pussy as well as a lesbian—I was almost sick of it.

The truth was, I was insanely jealous and longed to hear every word about him.

I had a few dates over the next few months but I prevented any of them from developing into a relationship. I messed every one of them up by comparing each guy to Sam. They all fell drastically short. In one case, pun intended.

We graduated and Erin got a job in advertising downtown near Sam’s work. I went to work in a management training program for the local grocery store chain. My goal was to own my own business someday and I figured it would be good experience to get some on-the-job training in retail.

Sam and my sister tortured me by setting me up with several of Sam’s friends and many of those were double dates. Every time I was with them, my thoughts were on Sam. I was barely able to hide my attraction to him, kind of—Erin knew, Sam didn’t.

One night, Erin invited me to go to a wine tasting party that she was hosting at her apartment. Sam showed up, which was not unexpected, but he brought Eric along.

Eric spent half the night ignoring me but once he started getting a buzz from the wines, he started hitting on me. I was also pretty looped and to my shame, I let him.

While he was off talking with Sam, I said goodbye to Erin and our friends and walked out to my waiting Uber. Before I realized what was happening, Eric was opening the door for me.

“Hi, you didn’t say goodbye,” he said. “I just wanted to say goodnight and make sure you got out safely.”

“I’m safe and I’m not driving, thank you.”

“Look, the finger foods in there didn’t cut it. Do you want to grab a bite with me?” He asked.

I should’ve said no, but I was drunk and hungry. I accepted.

Before I knew it we were making out in the car, forgetting to change where we were going and were at my apartment. Then we were in my bed.

I don’t remember taking my clothes off, yet I was naked and he was eating me out as if I were the meal we forgot to eat. I came within minutes and watched as he took his clothes off.

He was rock solid with chiseled abs, cut chest, and long thick cock. If I had any doubts, they were gone by the time he pressed himself into me, stretching me to my limits.

He had no care about doing anything other than fucking me. He hammered away without kissing me, touching my breasts, or rubbing my clit.

Before I was remotely close to cumming, he stiffened and stopped moving. His face almost made me laugh as he shot his load into my unprotected pussy.

That’s when I freaked out.

I let that pig of a man, not only fuck me, but he did it without a condom. I wanted to scream as he pulled out and his sperm followed, leaking down to my rosebud, pooling on my bedsheet.

He smiled at me and said, “Wow, babe. You’re a great lay,” then he got up and walked into my bathroom.

“Fuck!” I thought as I wiped his cum from between my legs with his hundred-dollar shirt.

I dressed in a pair of sweats and t-shirt and walked into the kitchen as he relieved himself.

I could hear him dressing and cursing as he must’ve found the cum on his shirt. When he stormed into the kitchen, I put a forkful of cottage cheese into my mouth and shrugged my shoulders.

“What the fuck did you get on my shirt?”

“Cum,” I said flippantly.

“Do you know how expensive this shirt is?”

“Yep. Anything else?”

He shook his head and said, “No, I think I’ll be going.”

“See ya.”

He walked out the door and didn’t even ask for my number—thank god.

I woke in the morning with a splitting headache and my doorbell ringing. I ignored both and shoved my face into a pillow.

My phone buzzed on the nightstand and begrudgingly I looked to see who was bothering me on a Sunday morning. I should’ve known it would be my sister and it was 12:30.

I buzzed her in and opened the door.

I heard her call out to me as I brewed a cup of coffee and waited for the aspirin to kick in.

“What happened last night?” She asked.

“Which part?” I asked with a smirk.

“You know what I’m talking about,” she said as she helped herself to a cup of coffee. “You were supposed to spend the night and then I was woken up by a pissed off Eric calling Sam.”

“What was the asshole pissed about?”

“I don’t know. All I know is Sam found it funny and he said I’d have to ask you if I wanted to know what it’s all about.”

I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Well, since you showed up here without breakfast, let me take a quick shower and we can go out to eat.”

We took our seats at The Southern Cafe and she said, “Spill it.”

I looked up from my delicious coffee and said, “The asshole waited until I got drunk and started flirting with me.”

“I told you that you were drinking too much. It was supposed to be a tasting.”

I laughed and said, “I tasted every drink.”

She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, I thought I’d successfully avoided him on my way out. When the Uber got there, so did he. Before I knew it, we made out the entire way to my place. I was so fired up, I allowed him to take me to bed.”

“You slut!”

“Shut up, Sis,” I said and we both laughed.

“Well? Was he good?”

“He can certainly eat the kitty nicely. As far as penetrative sex, he was pretty much three pumps and done.”

“He talks like he’s a sex god. I knew he wasn’t all that. He probably had a little Willy.”

I smirked and said, “Nope.”

She looked at me with wide eyes.

“He’s huge.” Her mouth fell open. “Long and thick. If he would’ve given a shit and took his time, I might have really enjoyed it.”

“Wow! The sex god is a dud. I can’t wait to tell Sam.”

I almost dropped my coffee.

“Oh, God! You can’t tell him—please!”

“Easy, Sis. He already knows something happened. So why did Eric get pissed?”

“After he—finished, he told me I was a great lay and went to the bathroom.”

“He didn’t”

“Oh yeah! So I cleaned myself and the wet spot with his shirt.”

She laughed and said. “You’re evil.”

As it turned out, my fear was valid, the asshole gave me chlamydia. I was devastated. For something so quick to cure it took me a year to get over it. I didn’t have a single date, I didn’t even want to look at men.

Exactly one year after they met on Valentine’s Day, Sam proposed to Erin. She, of course, accepted and they were married on a beautiful Saturday afternoon later that Summer.

As Maid of Honor, I had to dance with the Best Man and Eric hadn’t changed in the least bit. He tried as hard as he could to get into my panties, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

I had a dance with Sam and I had a tear trickle down my cheek as he held me.

Over the previous sixteen months, I’d fallen more in love from afar with Sam than I ever thought possible. He was truly perfect and his only flaw was that madly in love with Erin, not me.

I was so jealous of her, I became angry and avoided her as much as possible for a few months, but I eventually got over it. She was deliriously happy and I could never resent her enough to bring her down. So, I suffered my jealousy alone.

Sam must have tried to set me up with every one of his single friends at some point. Many were like Eric and had no chance, but the others weren’t Sam. He was the model I would compare every man against and they all fell short.

Life went on and I worked more than I dated. After a couple of years at the grocery store, I decided it was time to go out on my own.

Being twenty-five and a woman didn’t exactly help my effort to start a small business. I had to rely on my parents for help and they were glad to do so.

I busted my butt and built a moderately successful business out of my love for wine—I opened a wine store with a little bar. It was an expensive start-up and my dad had to co-sign on the loans I took out but I was profitable almost immediately.

I set up in a cute little Main Street storefront location. It was in between an Art gallery and a spa that specialized in high-end mani/pedis. The area was very upscale and my little shop became a popular spot for ladies to stop and have a glass of wine after a spa trip.

I still carried a burning torch for my brother-in-law, but they were as much in love as ever. They added my niece, Emma, as soon as they could after the wedding and she was then a three-year-old ball of energy.

Erin came in on Saturday afternoons for a mommy break twice a month and would sometimes visit the spa at the same time. She would never say it, but I suspected Sam to have a foot fetish as she never cared about pedicures before she met him and she became almost obsessive about her feet and shoes.

Valentine’s Day was coming up and she asked, “Do you have a date for V-day?”

“Nope,” I said. I’m having an anti-valentine’s day wine party here at the store.”

She shook her head and frowned.

“Why? Do you need a babysitter?” I asked.

“No, mom and dad are watching Emma. I was hoping to introduce you to one of our neighbors.”

I was angry. I’d asked them to stop setting me up and for the most part, they listened. It had been over a year since the last blind date disaster.

“Yeah, I’ll pass, thanks anyway.”

“Erica, you’ve got to put yourself on the market. Living like a nun isn’t going to make you happy in the long run.”

I glared at her and took a calming deep breath. “I’m not living like a nun. I’m just busy with my business and don’t have time to date.”

“Oh please!” She whined. “You’ve got this place running like a Ferrari engine. I bet you haven’t taken a vacation in years.”

She knew I hadn’t. She asks me every year to go to their cottage with them and I decline.

“Kiss my butt, Sis. I’ve almost got my start-up loans paid off and I’m looking to take over and expand next door when the gallery closes in two months.”

“Erin, I love you but you’re working yourself into the ground. You’re wasting your youth.”

“I’m only twenty-five. I have plenty of time to waste.”

Erin shook her head and said, “Please, Erica. You have so much love to give, find someone worthy of it.”

We hugged and she walked out the door. What she could never know was that I had found someone but she was married to him.

It was extremely difficult to attend their parties, and worse was they had me over for dinner every Sunday.

She cooked a big family meal and occasionally my parents would come as well. She said it was a perfect way to have a solid relationship with me and not lose time with her husband and child. At first, I was happy to do it. I would get to see my niece and Sam. After a few months of watching Sam and Erin interact, I became too jealous.

Sam didn’t seem to have any flaws. He made very good money, they had a beautiful house, he treated my sister as if she were gold, and he doted on his beautiful daughter.

Valentine’s Day came a few weeks later and my little store had a successful party. After I closed the store and was walking to my car, my mom called.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Erica, you need to meet us at the hospital. Erin and Sam were in an accident and taken to St. Alex. I don’t have all of the details yet, but they are both in intensive care.”

“Holy shit! Are they okay?”

“I don’t know. Your dad and I are on the way over now. The police couldn’t give us their condition.”

“What about Emma?”

“Emma is sleeping. My neighbor Cindy came over in case she wakes up.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”

I almost didn’t make it to the hospital because the tears filling my eyes were making it too hard to drive. I prayed they would be alright.

I ran into the Emergency Room lobby and found my parents hugging and crying. A doctor patted my mom’s back, said something quietly, and walked away.

I was frozen, I knew then I had lost my sister. My mom saw me and ran over.

“She’s gone, Erica. We’ve lost her.”

I fell to my knees, broke down, and cried along with her. My father hugged us both until we were cried out.

After a few minutes, I asked, “What about Sam?”

My dad said, “He’s in critical condition. Initially, they thought he wouldn’t make it but they think they’ve stopped his internal bleeding. They had to cut him out of the car.”

“What the hell happened?” I asked. “We’re they drinking?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “If they were, the accident wasn’t their fault. They were hit by a semi-truck that crossed the road. The driver died on impact. They don’t know if he fell asleep or had some kind of attack.”

I had to sit. I was inconsolable. Erin was gone and Sam was fighting for his life. It wasn’t fair. They were so happy and had the perfect little family.

“Erica, we may need your help with Emma while Sam is recovering,” my mom said.

“Of course. Whatever you need,” I said.

I decided to take a week off and do whatever was necessary for Sam and Emma. We couldn’t see Sam in his condition, so we went home to my parents’ house.

Emma was asleep in my old room. She looked so beautiful and peaceful as I crawled into bed next to her. She rolled over and put her little arm across my stomach. I silently cried, not only for my sister but for the little girl that would never see her mother again.

I was woken by a shriek and a scream, “Auntie Erica!” Emma shouted and jumped up to her knees.

“Good Morning, girly. Did you sleep well?”

She nodded and said, “Nana told me we’re having pancakes. Come on! We have to eat pancakes!”

I laughed and looked at the clock. “Sweetie, Nana’s probably still sleeping. It’s only six o’clock. I bet Papa’s up though. He never sleeps late.”

She sprung out of the bed towards the door and abruptly stopped.

“Papa can’t cook,” she said with a pout.

I laughed again and opened my arms, “Not if it isn’t on a grill, he can’t. I can though and maybe if I got a hug from my favorite niece, I could whip up some pancakes.”

She jumped into my arms and then the previous night’s events hit me. I tried my hardest not to cry, but I failed. I held her until I stopped and she ran out of the room.

My dad was watching the news with Emma on his lap and I heard my mom messing about the kitchen. As soon as I walked in there I could tell she’d just been crying as well.

She had bacon frying and was mixing pancake batter, trying to be strong, but it wasn’t working.

“Couldn’t sleep, huh?”

“No, Erica. I think I slept for a couple of hours, but I feel like I was up all night.”

“Let me help, Mom,” I said turning the bacon. “I can take over if you want to go back to bed.”

“No, we have too much to do today, and I have to stay busy or I’m going to lose it. I have to be strong for Emma.”

“Okay, let me help though,” I asked.

We decided to not tell Emma right away. We wanted to see what Sam’s condition was and if he was awake enough to get his input on what and when to tell Emma. She was young enough to not question anything when my mom told her she’d be staying with them for a while.

I went to the hospital with my dad and my mom stayed home with Emma. We checked in at the main desk to see if Sam was in a room yet.

“He will be moved to a room this morning. You can visit him in the ICU but in short stints.”

We thanked her and walked the long and winding halls to his room.

We walked in and saw that he was awake. He had a bandage on his forehead and a broken arm in a sling. He was crying, staring at the wall. He either didn’t notice us walk-in or ignored us.

I touched his leg and he said, “She died, Erica. She’s gone.”

“We know, Sam. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

He snorted and said, “I’ll never be okay again.”

“We’re here for you, Sam,” Dad said. “No matter what—we’ve got your back, Son.”

“How is Emma?” Sam asked.

I frowned and said, “She’s fine and with mom. We haven’t told her about the accident yet. We wanted you to let us know how you want to handle it.”

“I’ll be moved to a room later. I’d like to see her after they do that. I’ll tell her what happened then.”

“What happened last night, Sam?” I asked.

“I don’t know. We were driving along Route 59, coming back from Ruth’s Chris. All of a sudden the truck swerved in front of us. I tried to turn, but I didn’t have enough time. He hit us head-on. I blacked out and when I woke, we were flipped onto our side and they were cutting the car open. Erin was holding my hand, but I could see that she was hurt very badly.”

He stopped and sobbed. Dad and I were crying ourselves and stood silent. I hoped Sam would be alright for Emma’s sake, he would have to be. I resolved to be there every step of the way.

A nurse walked into the room and said that they had to do some tests and he would be moved to his room after. We made our goodbyes and said we would be back with Emma later.

“He’s going to blame himself for this,” I said, walking back to the car.

“He already does, Erica. It’s going to be very hard for him. With his parents gone, and no other close family, we have to be there for him. We have to help him get through this for Emma’s sake.”

“We will, Dad.”

Sam was surprisingly strong and Emma handled it as well as any three-year-old could. She didn’t completely understand that she would never see her mom again, but she knew what angels were and Sam told her that Erin was an angel now, watching over her.

Another year passed and I was still spending Sunday nights with Sam and Emma. We had dinner together every week whether at his or my house or an occasional restaurant. He wanted to keep the tradition alive for Emma’s sake.

The first few months were rough. My mom basically lived with Sam until his broken arm was well enough to handle all of Emma’s needs without help.

After those few months, I stepped in more. Emma was in daycare three days a week and my mom watched her for the other two days. As her fourth birthday passed Sam put her in pre-school. On the days my mom worked her part-time job, I helped Sam in the mornings with Emma.

He was an amazing father, but he was overwhelmed as a single dad. He never once asked for help but I saw the appreciation in his eyes the first morning I showed up at his house. My store didn’t open until eleven, so I had no issues with helping out.

I did whatever little things were needed, whether it was brushing her hair, making her breakfast, helping explain why she couldn’t wear her Elsa costume to school every day, or sometimes just talking to her while he finished getting ready.

Not once during that first year did I ever think of him as anything other than my brother-in-law. I also never dated. Most of my time was eaten up at the shop, and whatever free time I had was spent with Emma.

As Valentine’s Day neared, Sam was getting quieter and more morose. Emma was her normal spunky self and didn’t understand that the anniversary of her mother’s death was approaching. I was down in the dumps, but I tried not to let it show. I had to be strong for Sam and Emma.

Valentine’s Day fell on a Sunday that year and I feared that Sam would try to cancel our weekly dinner. I wasn’t going to make a big deal about it but I knew his being alone wasn’t a good idea.

As usual, I wasn’t dating anyone, so I had no plans for a holiday that my family couldn’t celebrate anymore. I never had much luck for Valentine’s dates anyway so it wasn’t a big deal day for me.

Over the years, I had been dating sporadically. I even had one guy last a couple of months. I just put too much time into work or they didn’t meet up to my expectations.

Owning a retail store was a difficult life. I had clerks that worked during business hours, but I always opened in the morning and closed at night. I was pretty flexible during the day and didn’t have to be in the store all of the time, but the evenings were pretty busy and I liked to be there.

Sam called me on the Friday before Valentine’s Day. I was waiting for it and I was ready.

“Hey, Erica.”

“What’s up, Sam? How’s Emma?”

“We’re good. Look, I know you know what Sunday is and before you try to cancel on us, I’m gonna tell you that you can’t.”

I was stunned. He expected me to try and cancel?

He continued, “I’ve invited Mom and Dad over and I expect you here at the usual time.”

“I’ll be there,” I said. “Why do you think I’d cancel?”

“Well, it’s been a year and I know you’ve been depressed lately. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

I laughed and said, “I’ve been worried you would try to cancel.”

“No, I think we should celebrate Erin. We all miss her and—well, I think we should all be together.”

“I’ll be there, Sam.”

“Good. I’ll see you then. Bye.”

I had struggled over the year after Erica’s passing. I felt like a part of me died in that accident as well. At my parents’ behest, I saw a shrink for a few months after. It helped a bit but my life will never be the same.

On my birthday the previous September, Sam, and Emma showed up on my doorstep with a pizza and a bottle of bad wine. I had been crying for most of the day and his choice of cheap wine made me laugh.

“We wanted to have dinner with you on Mommy’s birthday,” Emma said.

“Who else?” Sam asked.

Emma looked at him blankly and then her eyes went wide. “I forgot. You have the same birthday as Mommy.”

I laughed and said, “That’s right. I was born five minutes after your mom.”

Without missing a beat, she said, “We got extra cheese”

“Did you know that was my favorite?” I asked her.

“Nope, Daddy said cheese makes you happy.”

“Daddy’s right. Come on, let’s eat while it’s hot.”

I dropped the bottle of wine into the garbage as Sam laughed.

“I knew you would do that,” he said.

I knew he remembered my sister always buying me a bottle of that awful wine as a joke. I threw it away on her every time as well. I was glad he did it.

I poured a glass of good wine for myself as he opened the box of pizza on the table. I knew better than to get plates, as whenever we had pizza at his house we ate it directly from the box.

The first time we did that I called him a savage. My sister said at the time, “He refuses to use a plate with it. He says the box is a giant plate.”

It was just one of his cute idiosyncrasies.

My parents and I arrived at Sam’s at the same time. Sam had a beautiful Beef Wellington resting on a cutting board in the kitchen and my mom was impressed.

“Sam, that looks amazing.”

“Well, I haven’t sliced it yet. Let’s reserve judgment until we see the doneness.”

He needn’t have worried. It was perfect.

We spent most of the evening telling Emma stories about Erin. Sam and I told some of the more recent ones and mom and dad jumped in with embarrassing stories about our youthful shenanigans.

By the time I put Emma to bed, we hadn’t shed a single tear of sadness. It was a perfect celebration for my sister. She’d have wanted us to be laughing instead of crying.

“Well we’re going to hit the road,” Dad said.

As my mom hugged me goodbye, she whispered, “Stay a bit longer. I’m afraid the dam will burst any minute.”

I kissed her cheek and agreed.

She was, of course, right. As soon as we walked back into the living room he picked up her picture off of the mantle and held it to his chest. His shoulders were bobbing as he sobbed for his wife.

I put my hand on his shoulder and he straightened up immediately.

“Sorry about that,” he said placing her picture back reverently.

“No,” I said. “You don’t have to apologize. You’ve been so strong this past year. You’ve earned a good cry.”

He looked at me as if I were crazy.

“I cry every day. I cry for her, for Emma, and you,” he said. “I just wait until I’m alone so no one can see my weakness.”

I hugged him and said, “She loved you as much as you love her. I would give my life for you and Emma to have her back.”

“Nonsense,” he said. “For whatever reason, it was her time. Sit down, I’ll get you some more wine. I have to get something off my chest. I feel like if I don’t tell someone, I’ll burst.”