Chapter 8

That was moving! Everyone was quiet for a few minutes. The conversation slowly started picking up then, mostly it’s the ladies discussing whether or not they want to discuss what has happened to them with a man, no matter how good he is at fixing brains. I can certainly understand where they’re coming from. I’m not sure how I feel about the idea of telling a strange man what happened to me; and compared to the others, not all that much happened to me!

That’s when the doorbell rang, stopping every conversation in its tracks. Perry got up and went to answer the door. He returned a few minutes later with a tall, good looking man, notable for the warm, friendly, comfortable smile on his face. Perry introduced us to Dr. Mark Ford. The good doctor said, “Call me Mark. Please.”

Perry returned to his seat beside me. Mark looked around and said, “I know some of you gentlemen. It’s good to see you again. I can tell by your faces you gentlemen are all doing well. I’m glad to see that. Ladies, Perry gave me some idea what you went through. It’s certainly one of the most disturbing sets of circumstances I’ve encountered. I have to say, though, looking around at all the lovely young ladies in this group I’m impressed by how much in control you all seem to be. I mean that; I’m deeply impressed.

“I understand some, or maybe even all of you have not yet resolved the question of whether you feel comfortable discussing what you went through with a male. If you don’t feel you can truly open up to me I promise you won’t hurt my feelings. I understand perfectly. I can still help you, though. I will put you together with one of several highly qualified women, any one of whom I’m sure can help you put your lives back together.

“Perry explained that some of what would inevitably come out in consultations might be problematic for him and his team as well as be a matter of concern for law enforcement but he insists that’s not a consideration. The important thing to him is that you ladies are put back on your feet and you’re made whole again. Please don’t let Perry’s situation influence your decision. My colleagues and I all hold the concept of doctor – patient privilege to be a sacred responsibility. Nothing you say to me or any of my associates will ever be made public unless that is your wish and you make it known in writing.

“I would like to answer any questions you have about anything related to your problems, your course of treatment and what you can expect from me. I’m going to go into the living room. I’ll be there until you can’t stand the sight of me any longer.”

Dawn laughed and said, “I can’t see that happening!”

Everyone found that amusing, even Mark.

Mark turned to enter the house but before he left the patio, Penney asked if he’d like something to drink and told him she highly recommends the wine. He smiled, thanked her and said, “Maybe later. People tend to have trouble relating to drunken therapists.”

She smiled and replied, “I wouldn’t want to get you drunk. But I’m willing to bet it would be a lot easier to listen to a lot of what we’ve got to say if you had a glass of wine to wash it down. I’m going to bring one in with me when it’s my turn. However, as much as some of us need to speak with someone, I think Meg needs you the most. If you wouldn’t mind starting with her, the rest of us can discuss whether or not we feel comfortable talking about what happened to us with a man, even a man as hot as you! Personally, if Steve thinks he can handle it, I think I want to talk to you. All these guys are my heroes. But Perry, he’s almost a god. He recommends you. I trust him. So I know I can trust you.”

Steve leaned forward, kissed the back of Penney’s neck and said, “Not that I trust you going off with a handsome doctor or anything, but I suppose I trust Perry. I promise not to get jealous unless you come back out with hickeys.”

Mark shook his head, obviously amused by the banter and said, “Meg?”

Meg stood up with a slightly dazed look on her face. Mark moved to her, took her hand and said, “Would you like to go inside and get acquainted?”

She looked up at him and tears started rolling down her cheeks again. She choked back a sob and the words of desperation came pouring out of her. “Perry said you can help me. I’ve done some terrible, terrible things. I’m a disgusting human being. But I wasn’t always this way. Do you think you can help me? I want so much to be ... better.”

“You’re the young lady who with the aid of some exotic drug seems to have been brainwashed? I do believe I can help you. I suspect that the difficulty will come, not from reversing the effects of the brainwashing but in rebuilding your self-esteem. Unlike a great many of my patients you, have a significant advantage. You have people who care about you and can provide you with a support system. Those things are surprisingly important in circumstances such as these.”

Meg looked around at the large group of curious onlookers, then back up at Mark and said, “They’ve been far more helpful and far more understanding than I deserve. I did terrible things to them, unforgiveable things. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay them for their support, or how I’ll ever be able to make up for the things I did to them.”

She began to sob loudly then. The tears were raining down. She dropped to her knees and begged, “Please, please help me. I hate myself so very much.”

Mark dropped down on one knee and put his arms around Meg. He talked to her quietly for several minutes. We can’t hear what he’s saying but we can’t stop watching, many of us with tears in our eyes!

It took him a few minutes to calm her down. But finally she got the crying under control. Mark stood up and offered her a hand. He helped her to her feet and led her into the house. The silence they left behind was deafening!

Several minutes passed before Perry said, “Gentlemen. I suggest we adjourn to the dining room. We can spend a little time looking through documents while the ladies talk about us, or maybe discuss whether they’re comfortable talking with Mark or would prefer one of his female partners in crime.”

He turned to face the women and said, “I’ve met the women working in Mark’s office. They’re an amazing group. If you think you’ll feel more comfortable talking to a woman I know any one of them can help you. I probably should have put more thought into it when I asked Mark to come over. I just thought of him because he has helped me and a couple of my guys felt better after talking to him. But the important thing is we put your crazy asses back together.”

Penney said, “You don’t have to leave.”

“I think it’s best. I want you all to feel comfortable and free to say what’s on your mind. And you know how terrified you are of Steve. I won’t always be there to stop him from beating you.”

She smiled and said, “They aren’t beatings. They’re just romantic little spankings!”

Steve stood up and kissed Penney. He said, “I think it’s best I leave the area if you’re going to talk about me. You know how sensitive I am.”

He picked up his glass and said, “Come on guys. You know you don’t want to hear all the terrible things they’re going to be saying about us.”

The men got up and headed for the dining room. When it was just us girls and we were all sitting around looking at each other and waiting for someone to say something I looked around and asked about a problem my new friends might possibly be having with me being a part of all this. “Do I make you guys uncomfortable? I feel like an imposter; like I should be in there with the guys, not out here with the people who went through so much horror.”

Penney grinned and replied, “Are you kidding? I vividly remember sucking off that fuckin’ mountain who worked for Gordo. Now that was a horror! I was taken there several times and I was always surprised when I was able to leave without carrying my teeth in his Tupperware bowl. I gotta tell you, though, if he didn’t get too rough, there’s another orifice which really appreciated making his acquaintance. I wouldn’t have wanted to live with the son of a bitch. But once you get used to it that was a cock to remember.”

Toni shook her head and said, “That wasn’t my experience with the sadistic bastard. I was sore for a fucking week! They brought Moose to the studio to star in one of my movies. He raped me for hours! I was begging them to kill me long before he was through with me.”

I sighed and said, “See? That’s what I mean. I was never forced to be a prostitute. I only made one movie and don’t tell anyone I said so but it wasn’t all that bad. I think the worst moment for me wasn’t the comparatively few rapes I endured. I nearly lost it when Meg gleefully told me about all the things they had planned for me. I wasn’t certain I’d survive them. But it turned out I didn’t have to. My experiences aren’t even a shadow of what you guys went through. I can’t believe you don’t resent me for even being here.”

Dawn got to her feet, walked around behind me and slapped me on the back of the head, thankfully not very hard. Then she leaned over, put her arms around me and said, “Silly bitch. It sounds like you’re complaining because you didn’t get raped enough! Christ! You’re almost as bad as Meg!”

I grabbed her hands, squeezed them affectionately and said, “Thanks. I needed that. Now let’s talk about what we’re supposed to be discussing. Just out of curiosity, who feels reluctant to talk with a male therapist?”

Elly looked around and then said, “My first reaction was that I couldn’t talk about those things to a guy. But after seeing him, after listening to that almost hypnotic voice, and most importantly, after seeing him with Meg, I find everything about him reassuring. I don’t know what he helped Perry with, but I can’t help thinking if Perry recommends him that’s good enough for me. Now that I think about it, I can’t imagine Perry ever needing help from anyone for anything!”

Donna nodded and said, “Yeah, that’s kinda how I feel about it, about Mark I mean. After I watched him guiding Meg inside I found myself thinking what a great guy he is; like a rock, someone empathetic who will understand me and keep me safe. I think I like him.”

We sat there in silence for a few minutes before Micki quietly said, “I’m going to try it with him. But I still can’t imagine telling a man all the disgusting things I’ve done. It’s so humiliating.”

Penney nodded and said, “Yeah. It is humiliating. Don’t you think it will be humiliating to talk to a woman about those things? I’m not advocating for him. I’m just saying...”

Micki thought about it for a minute and said, “Yeah. You’re right. But don’t you think a woman would be able to understand us better, understand how we feel about the things they made us do?”

Penney replied, “I guess it’s just a matter of personal preference. Mark didn’t even speak directly to me and I still felt comforted and reassured. I’m going to have to give him a try. I suppose I should wait until after I go in and talk to him to make up my mind but I’m leaning toward choosing him.”

Micki remains conflicted. But it sounds like everyone else has decided to go with Mark. We sat around in almost total silence for a while until out of the blue, Tawney asked, “What was it like to shoot someone?”

Several of us burst out laughing. I looked at her, cocked my eye at her and asked, “Really?”

She shrugged and said, “There have been more than a few men with whom I’ve come into contact over the last almost three years that I would have loved to kill. I never actually planned to kill anyone but I can’t deny I’ve given some thought to it, about how much I would like to and what it would be like. Perry and the team aside, how many people do you know who have shot someone? I’m just curious, I’m not planning on shooting anyone. I just wonder what it’s like.”

“There was no thought involved. I didn’t have a choice. He spotted me lying on the floor behind some boxes and he was turning his gun toward me. He was going to shoot me. I saw it in his eyes. When Perry handed me the gun a few minutes earlier he told me if I had to shoot I was to aim for the center of a man’s chest. That’s what I did. I was incredibly relieved when I shot him in the shoulder. It’s a damn good thing I’m not in the Army. I can’t even begin to explain what went through my mind at that moment. I remember lying there on the floor listening to people shooting at each other all around me, realizing that for some reason I wasn’t scared and thinking, “Damn this is exciting!”

“I know how completely uncharacteristic, how inappropriate that was. But that’s what I was thinking. But I was also thinking that I was helping, I was contributing, I was protecting my men. And you know what? Ken wasn’t far from the truth when he joked about thinking I was having an orgasm in the car as we drove away. It wouldn’t have taken much.”

“I’ve had a little more time to think about it now. Not only do I not have any regrets, I’m reasonably certain I would have had no regrets if I’d shot the motherfucker in the face. At the time I wasn’t thinking about the terrible things that asshole has no doubt done to innocent women. If I’m in a similar situation again I won’t hesitate to try to kill another one of those large bags of garbage.”

Penney got to her feet and went around refilling those wine glasses which needed it. Before I could thank her she bent down, kissed me lightly on the lips and said, “I wish I could be more like you. You just turned nineteen and god I envy you! I swear, you’re the most impressive woman I’ve ever met! I felt so sorry for you when you told us about your life, the orphanages and the foster homes and being cut loose with almost nothing when you turned eighteen. But you just kept going, kept plowing on as if you were living the most normal life in the world. And then you go off with the guys and start shooting people! You are my fucking idol!!”

I shook my head and said, “You got it all wrong. In the first place, every one of you women is stronger and me. You have survived so much more. I just kept going because that was the only option I had. Not because of some inner strength you incorrectly infer I possess.”

Toni shook her head and quietly interjected, “You are so wrong. You are the strongest woman I’ve ever met and you’re still a teenager! No girl, you’re going to do something with your life. If you don’t believe me, ask Perry. He knows. He picked you out of this small herd. He loves you and he trusts you and he respects you. He’s a very good judge of character. Now stop being so fucking stubborn and accept a compliment when it’s due.”

I sighed and said, “I love you guys. But you sure are screwed up in the head. Speaking of which, are any of you still harboring any thoughts of revenge against Meg? I feel sorry for her but I didn’t go through everything you guys did. Would you feel more comfortable if we made some other arrangement for her?”

Penney responded, “I think any one of us would have happily tortured her to death before we discovered the truth. I think we’ve all made peace with her and come to accept that the things she did were not her fault.”

Then she looked around and asked, “Or am I wrong?”

There was a long silence before Donna said, “I think I was the last to come around. But it’s hard to see how much she’s suffering from a near fatal case of the guilts and not feel sympathy for her. As bad as we had it, at least we didn’t do anything to someone else that’s driving us crazy with guilt. Well, except that I must confess, I once used up all the hot water in the shower.”

Donna growled, “Once my ass!”

There were a few mild chuckles and then we sat around in silence, sipping wine and thinking. I don’t believe another word was said until about a half hour later when Mark returned with a very subdued Meg. They came out onto the deck and Meg looked up at him almost reverently and in not much more than a whisper, her voice dripping with emotion she said, “Thank you. You really help. I’m starting to think I may be able to keep going after all. You’re a good man.”

Meg returned to her seat. I stood up and said, “We all have come to the conclusion that we trust you and we want you to try to help us. Micki wants to see how it goes. Her initial reaction was that she couldn’t possibly talk about the things that happened to her with a man. But she kind of changed her mind after listening to you talk and then seeing you with Meg.”

He looked toward the group and said, “Micki?”

Micki, blushing furiously, raised her hand. He smiled reassuringly and said, “Young lady, I only want what’s best for you. If that can best be achieved with one of my female colleagues I’d be more than happy to set that up for you. The women in my office are some of the best doctors in the world. I know I’ve learned a lot from them. I tell you what, after we have a little talk you can give it some more thought. Okay?”

Micki smiled at him and said, “Okay, though I gotta say, a man who admits he learned something from a woman really impresses me.”

Everyone found that amusing. Micki sat back down and Mark asked, “Who would like to be next? This is just a familiarization session. No deep, dark secrets need be exchanged. I want you to see if you can feel comfortable with me because honesty and openness is how you get past all this.”

I said, “I think I should go last. Some of these ladies suffered for years. I only had two days of it. I missed out on all the most terrible things they like to do to their victims. Why don’t you start with Micki and while you’re trying to straighten her crazy ass out we’ll draw straws.”

Mark looked at me and said, “Perry told me a bit about you. He said that you’re the strongest and yet the softest woman he as ever met.”

“Softest?”

Mark smiled and said, “Softest; like the way you couldn’t stand the idea of what they were certain they were going to have to do Meg, even before you discovered she was just a different kind of victim. Don’t downplay the possible damage you may have experienced in only two days. You’re the youngest of the women. Perry told me about your childhood and that’s certainly tragic. Our country’s system of dealing with orphans and foster children is often barbaric and damaging to the poor kids who are exposed to it. I have to say, though, from what little I’ve seen of you and from the things Perry has told me, you are a truly incredible young lady. I’m being totally serious when I tell you I’d be very proud if my daughter grew up to be anything like you.” He looked around and said, “Like any one of you, actually. I’ve really been impressed by what I see here.”

He turned back to Micki and said, “Micki, are you ready to have me “straighten your crazy ass out?”

Micki cracked up. It was a minute or so before she was able to respond, “I think I like you. Let’s go play doctor.”

We all laughed at that as Mark escorted Micki to the living room.

I followed them into the house and went to see if I could get the guys in the dining room anything. But before I could say a word I noticed the excitement in the room. The guys are all standing up and gathered around several documents lined up on the dining room table. They didn’t even notice me standing in the doorway.

They were talking about something on the papers they were examining but I apparently came in too late in the conversation to pick up a clue. I can’t figure out what they’re saying. It was several minutes before they straightened up and noticed me standing there. Perry smiled and asked if my Spidey sense had kicked in.

I have no idea what he’s talking about. I don’t know what “Spidey” is. But I’m more interested in what they found that has them so excited. I moved closer but I couldn’t see anything at a glance that stood out or looked exciting on the sheets of paper they seem so interested in. Perry explained, “Steve found another of one of the properties being used by one of Carter’s associates and this one is apparently an active site. There may be several women being kept there. We’ve been talking it over and we agree that after what happened today we should probably check this one out tonight before they can clear out.”

Perry is staring at me as he explains. He raised one eyebrow and it’s like the way he and his crew seem to communicate wordlessly all the time. The corners of my mouth curled up in an eager smile and I nodded. Perry turned to his team and said, “Grab your packs. Let’s load up. I’ll let Mark know. Jenna, you should say something to the girls.”

He turned to the two men who normally do the driving and made certain they know where we’re going. Then he said, “Lee, I know it doesn’t seem fair to ask you to stay back again. But the ladies know you and feel safe with you. Do you mind?”

Lee shrugged. He’s obviously disappointed. Before going out and letting the other girls know what’s going on I asked, “Is there any indication of how many women might be there?”

Steve answered, “It isn’t clear. But the place may be some kind of very private sex club. If we had a brain we’d be doing some surveillance before hitting them there but after that take down today I imagine they’re getting nervous. I’d hate to go there tomorrow and find everyone gone.”

I said, “On the chance that they’ll be there and they’ll have more women being held there, it might be a good idea to bring three vehicles tonight.”

Steve smiled and said, “Good thinking. Let’s get ready.”

I turned to go let the ladies know what’s going on but before I could take a step, Perry touched my shoulder, turned me back toward him and said, “You know that no man in his right mind would let the woman he loves, or for that matter anyone who has absolutely no training, even go on one of these things; not even as a driver. I know letting you go with us is a terrible idea. So tell me, why am I?”

“You don’t trust me alone with Mark?”

He rolled his eyes and said, “Get ready.”

Before I started moving I asked, “How would you feel about me carrying that spare pistol in your pack?”