An Enhanced Experience
by Graybyrd
Copyright© 2020 by Graybyrd
Humor Story: Wake up one morning to find that your personal computing has turned green & yellow and the screen is scrambled!
Tags: Humor
An Enhanced Experience
Bzzzzzt ... bzzzzt...
Good day ... MiriclSoft Support ... how may we help you?
G’day ... me bloody screen’s gone all green ‘n’ yellow! And the letters are scrambled!
I see. Sir, which of our products are you using?
Orifice 2020.5.25
Very good, Sir. And do you have our new “365+7+24 AutoPatch” feature enabled?
Huh?
(Customer Support rep repeats question)
Beats the ‘ell outta me? Is this something new?
Oh, yes, Sir, quite new ... as of 2350 GMT, a system-wide auto-patch was issued. Your copy of Orifice 2020.5.25 is now upgraded to Version 2020.5.5. We’re totally delighted to enhance your customer experience with MiriclSoft!
Last night? At four bleedin’ o’clock in the morning? How the ‘ell ... me bleedin’ computer was turned off!
Oh no, Sir ... to MiriclSoft, no customer’s computer is ever truly “off” ... we take great pride in our ability to improve, upgrade, and enhance our customers’ product experience everywhere, anywhere, anytime. Be assured, Sir, it is totally safe and secure!
Well, what’s with the green ‘n’ yellow screen, then? And them scrambled words and letters? I opened me correspondence file, and I can’t read a bleedin’ thing!
Oh, not to worry, Sir! First, let me explain our new RetroView W10-2020 enhanced color upgrade. Our human interface engineers, after years of study, have determined that our new ‘Meadow Bloom’ color schema presents the optimal viewing experience with the least eye-strain risk.
Meadow Bloom!? You mean that sickly green and glarin’ yellow?
Please, Sir! I assure you, our ‘Meadow Bloom’ display is your best possible user experience, with the least possible eye-strain risk. MiriclSoft scientists expended thousands of study hours to develop the safest possible user experience for you!
Well, what’s with the scrambled words, then? Is that some “safety issue,” too?
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