Chapter 44

He rolled away, drenched in sweat. “I don’t know why I keep thinking it can’t possibly get better, but it always does. It should be impossible, and yet...”

“Just think what it’s going to be like in a year. Or in ten years.”

“I’d better get started on my will. I’m sure I’m going to have a ridiculously enjoyable yet tragically shortened life, but it’s good to be prepared. You don’t happen to know any lawyers, do you?”

“Just one, she’s retired, and don’t joke about things like that.”

“Then stop trying to fuck me to death.”

“How am I supposed to know what your limits are unless I test them?” she asked with a grin, reaching for his cock.

“Seriously, I need a break. Can we talk about something other than my sexual demise?”

“Like what?”

“There’s something I’ve been wondering about. Obviously, you know more or less exactly how my life went from the time we parted until the time you reappeared. What about you? I don’t mean while you were still married, but afterwards. Where’d you go? What did you do?”

Kathryn fell so silent for so long that Luke turned to stare at her. She had a reluctant, even pained expression on her face.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“If it’s too depressing, we can talk about something else.”

“That’s not really the problem. I suppose some might call it depressing from a point of view that I don’t share, but that wasn’t my experience at all, and it was exactly what I needed at the time.”

“Which was?”

“Luke, I was grieving, confused, and desperate to rediscover who I really wanted to be. For months I lived alone at the lake house without seeing another living person, save for the lawn service and the cleaners. You know me; what do you think I’m talking about?”

“Oh.” Now it was his turn to fall silent for a while. “Tell me about it.”

“Are you serious?”

“I may regret this at some point in the near future, but yes. Absolutely.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t forgotten your vision of our future together, but you and I haven’t really done anything in pursuit of that future since the day you teased those deliverymen.”

“Oh god, I’d forgotten about that. You’re right, though I think you should also count our experiments with dominance and submission. Which we should really pick up again, hint hint...”

“You didn’t seem interested the last few times I tried to get you in that particular mood.”

“That’s because we were with Olivia, and it made her profoundly uncomfortable. She couldn’t bring herself to help you top me, and she couldn’t relax into her own submission with me around. It was easier to avoid it. Still, I know you picked up even more experience with her, and I really am looking forward to being at your mercy again, Sir.”

“I promise. Anyway, my point was this: the only reason we were in a multi-partner situation was because you walked right into the middle of mine. We made it work for a while, but it was inertial, at least until it started to fall apart. We still get together with Liz from time to time, but since you’ve been back, we haven’t done anything to actively expand our sexual universe. And I remember quite clearly that one of the bigger hurdles was getting me used to the idea of you being with other men. Now, on that score I have made some progress, in that I shared Liz with other men multiple times. Liz and I even talked Olivia into it — just once, though — and I was not only fine with it, I truly enjoyed watching her lost to sexual abandon. Maybe I’ll feel differently because it’s you, but you telling me about your sexcapades feels like a manageable first step before diving into the deep end.”

“I’d call it more of a sexcation, and while that’s eminently logical, I’m not sure logic is what’s going to be filling your head if I agree with your request.”

“All the more reason to see if I can deal with it, then.”

“How much do you want to know?”

“As much as you’re willing to tell me. Start with a broad overview and I’ll let you know if I can handle more detail.”

“Actually, Luke, it’s the broad overview I’m most worried about you hearing. Are you sure you want to go down this road?”

“If it’s a road we’re eventually going to walk together, then I think it’s necessary to take a step.”

“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She looked away for a moment, summoning up the memories. “I traveled the world for just over three months. I visited every continent, including Antarctica. And over that entire time, I spent only four days and/or nights without intimate companionship.”

Luke’s eyes got big. “Wow,” he whispered.

“Before you start doing the math in your head — and I’ll warn you now that the final tally is higher than you probably imagine — you should know something else: while a majority of those encounters were with a single partner and some of them went on for a while, they’re only a majority by the slimmest of margins. Close to half my experiences were with multiple partners. As you can imagine, I made a lot of progress towards knowing whether or not that’s the sort of lifestyle I’d like to lead.”

“And?”

“I’m more certain than ever.”

“Then I guess you’d better start telling me some of the details.”

“How much detail do you want? Names? Measurements? A stroke-by-stroke recounting? Video?”

“You have video?”

“No, but others do, and with one exception I could easily get them to send it to me.”

“No video. I’m probably not ready for that. I have a different idea: why don’t you tell me about a few of the more significant or memorable moments now, and if I can deal with those, we’ll leave the rest for erotic story time. Like with those deliverymen.”

“The deliverymen with whom I didn’t have sex. None of these stories involve me teasing without delivering. I had sex with absolutely everyone I could, as often as I could.”

“Kathryn?”

“Yes, my love?”

“Look down.” She did, breaking into a broad smile.

“I guess that means you want me to go ahead. Well, okay, but I feel like I should give you a safe word,” she admitted with a laugh. “I’ll start by telling you that my first five partners were women, because at the time I was feeling a little antipathetic about men. The last two I managed to get together for some amazing Tantric threesomes at a Hawaiian spa. Despite all my sexual experiences I’d never explored Tantric sex until then, and if you’ll allow me I’d very much like to introduce you to it.”

Luke snorted. “‘If I’ll allow you.’ What sort of nonsensical warning is that?”

“For one thing, you’ll have to fast for a week. And I haven’t even gotten started on the enemas...”

“What?“

“I’m kidding. Anyway, after that I was thirsty for some cock again. In Japan, I located a Shibari master who agreed to tie me up, and you will be learning how to do what he did — I know you and Olivia were experimenting with rope bondage, but I’ve developed a bit of an obsession with suspension — and I spent three days alternating between being tangled up in his ropes and, uh, thanking him for the experience. And then, since I was in Japan and I’d always loved watching it in porn, I ... you know, it’s very unusual for me to say this, but this is probably the only story in which the telling of it makes me feel like a complete slut, and not in a good way ... I found a club where they’d let me be the center of a bukkake party.”

“Oh shit! And? You love semen so much that...”

“Well, see, that’s the thing. Western porn apparently lies; in Japan bukkake’s about covering, not necessarily consuming. In fact, they made me keep my lips closed and wear a sort of dental dam-like contraption over them. Very unsexy, but I was told there was some sort of health code involved. There’s a different word for what I actually wanted — gokkun or something like that — but I didn’t learn that until later. So not only didn’t I have the fun I thought I would, it actually ended up being pretty negative. My skin felt horrible for days. Worst of all, they wouldn’t even take pictures or video. So that was my first truly negative experience, but at least I tried it.”

“After that, my stories turn relatively prosaic for a while; meeting people in bars, on tours, and so forth, as I worked my way around Southeast Asia. For the first time in ages I went out by myself, dressed to attract attention and quite willing to reward it, though every once in a while I was asked to leave by a manager who thought I was an escort. And yes, before your imagination runs wild, I did consider pretending to be one just to see what it felt like. In the end, the risk of being arrested — or worse — helped talk me off that particular ledge, though I’ll confess that the curiosity’s still there, and maybe we can play around with that one day. Especially if I remain unemployed for an extended period of time,” she teased. “Anyway, I eventually met a really lovely married couple in Chiang Mai that was headed more or less in my direction. I traveled with them for several weeks, moving from place to place and country to country. They were incredibly adept at identifying fellow swingers and I encouraged them to do so, which turned the time I spent with them into a continuous rolling orgy. Until I got on a plane to New Zealand, that is, where I actually had two of my partner-free days. It’s the most beautiful country in the world, but it’s not the easiest place to get laid. I was in Queenstown and feeling a little frustrated when I ran into a group of Australians. They were booked on an excursion to Antarctica, but had just lost one of their number due to a family emergency. Six men.”

“You didn’t!”

“I most certainly did. They used me virtually nonstop whenever we weren’t annoying penguins or watching ice sheets permanently slip into the ocean, occasionally one at a time but much more often in groups from two to all six. I got almost no sleep, but it was glorious. Best sex of the entire trip, without question.”

“Uh, can I ask... ?”

“Not one single penis entered my body anywhere but my mouth without a condom the entire time I was on my slutty odyssey. I’m pretty sure the Aussies had to pay an excess baggage fee for all the condoms they brought, but I definitely made it worth their while, because they were almost gone by the time we returned to New Zealand. Don’t worry; I’m a whore, not an idiot.”

“You’re neither.”

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong. You might think I’d be worn out and in need a break by then, but if anything I was hornier than ever. That said, my stories once again got a bit boring and repetitive for a while, save for the safari in Kruger National Park, after which I enticed my guide and my tracker to search for wild animals in my bed. I felt a little guilty, as they were risking their jobs, but less guilty when it turned out they apparently didn’t require sleep either. After a few more stops in Africa and a too-short detour to South America, l finally made it to Europe. To the extent that I had any sort of intentional itinerary when I left the States, that was it. And here’s where the only other truly negative experience happened, though you’re going to laugh at the reason: I had sex with someone bigger than Alejandro.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible, and I’m not sure why I’d laugh.”

“Well, Faith told me that it was — you and I have to have a talk about her, by the way — and she was right. And you should laugh because I told you I wasn’t a size queen and I meant it, but then I did the sort of thing a size queen would do and deeply regretted it.”

“Why?”

“It hurt like hell. He was about one-hundredth the lover that Alejandro is; he really only cared about himself and how impressed I was supposed to be with his elephantine cock. He wasn’t patient enough to prepare me properly, nor did he possess the slightest bit of creativity in bed. While I did eventually manage one orgasm, it was mostly the result of my own efforts. I allowed my curiosity to get away from me, and it not only sucked, it put me out of commission for an entire day. That was the last time I went without, though.”

“I suspect it was partly my self-flagellation over that encounter that led me to my last, and unquestionably my riskiest, assignation. I met a devastatingly handsome older man in Zurich. After I made it plain that I was available, he explained that he was a dominant, and a very strict one. We had regular sex that night, and I liked it and him, so I agreed to his proposal to go to his estate and give myself to him for an entire week. It really was an estate; there was a butler, a gardener, a chauffeur, several maids, and so forth. He wanted to collar and leash me the moment I arrived, but I told him only one man could ever put a collar me, and it wasn’t him. That was sort of a test of his intentions, and since he immediately accepted my refusal, I decided to continue. I didn’t want a full master-slave scenario, but I wanted everything we did to be more or less in that realm, and he was quite obviously enthusiastic about the idea.”

“For seven days and nights I ... this is hard for me to say, especially to you ... I did things I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do. Things I still can’t really believe I did. For instance, every single night I slept in a small cage suspended about six feet off the floor. It was supposed to be in his dungeon — yes, he had one, and it was both fearsome and incredible — but the one and only use of my safe word was to negotiate myself into his bedroom, because I knew the isolation would be too much for me. I ate my meals from bowls he’d place on the floor next to his chair at the dining room table, unable to use my hands ... though since they were usually cuffed behind my back or neck, or sometimes attached to my ankles, they wouldn’t have been of much use anyway. He asserted control over everything ... when I ate, when I could go to the bathroom, when I bathed... everything. I wasn’t even allowed to speak unless it was to use a safe word.”

“I was naked the entire time, unless you count various types of ball gags, clamps, hoods, restraints, shackles, anal hooks, spreader bars, and so forth. He’d chain me to furniture in the most outrageously exposed positions and invite friends over for meals, drinks, and card games. He never let them touch me, though he encouraged them to ejaculate on me whenever they felt like it. Nor would he let me clean myself until he gave me permission to bathe, which sometimes wasn’t until the next morning. And he punished me constantly. Once an hour, on the hour, whenever he was awake, and he was not gentle. But he was also an expert, and never once broke skin or caused pain I couldn’t handle. Still, it took three weeks for all the marks to disappear. There were some other things we did that I’d rather not talk about just yet, though if you demand it of me I’ll tell you. We barely had any sex — he’d brutally throat-fuck me a few times a day, but though he was an evil wizard when it came to torturing me with vibrators and such, he never once let me come — and so, by the end of the week, I was insane with unsated lust but in no physical condition to go find someone to help me sate it, which I’m sure was his intent. It was by far the most intense submissive experience I’ve had, other than with you, and in fact the only one I’ve had since you.”

“It sounds like it was more intense,” Luke offered, feeling more intimidated than at any point during her story, save perhaps when hearing about her Antarctica adventures.

“In terms of the cumulative physical demands he made of my body it may have surpassed what you did to me in the boathouse, and of course you and I never did anything involving humiliation, but the truth is that I spent the whole week wishing it was you. There was no aftercare until the last few hours before he let me go; he kept me in a submissive state the entire time. I was absolutely wrung out, physically and emotionally. But the fact that I was able to think about you whenever I needed strength or reassurance meant that my submission to him was never even close to total. The only person with whom I’ve experienced that is you, and I sincerely doubt I’m even capable of it anymore unless you’re somehow involved. By the way, he recorded every single minute of my stay on multiple cameras, but that’s the one video I probably couldn’t acquire without offering him an encore, which I would never do unless you ordered me to.”

“Anyway, that week was sort of like the final cleanse. My erotic and emotional enema,” she added with a wicked laugh. “Despite the fact that my body was one enormous bruise, I booked a flight home the very next day, moved into my apartment, and brooded over what I’d done. I admit that there was more than one occasion when I wondered if months of being a complete slut for anyone and everyone wouldn’t make it impossible for us to be together, because you’d be so disgusted.”

“Look, I’ll admit that it’s a lot to take in all at once, and that’s with you sparing most of the details. Here I thought I was being crazy by having a girlfriend, a friend with endless benefits, regular threesomes, and I don’t even remember how many one-off additions whenever Liz was feeling frisky. And now I learn that I was practically a monk by comparison. That said, if someone had forced me to guess what you’d spent those months doing, I would’ve come to a more or less correct conclusion, though I probably wouldn’t have imagined the tally, nor some of the wilder things you did. But ... well, look down again. Do I seem disgusted? Yes, it’s going to be a while before I’m ready to see or participate in the things I just heard about, but this conversation has proven something I wasn’t sure about until now: I will be ready one day. Possibly soon. And you’re not a slut or a whore. Except...”

“Yes, Luke?” She looked surprisingly anxious and vulnerable, as if the entire future of their relationship relied on what he was about to say.

“Except that you are. My slut. My whore. You were, once upon a time, and I promise that you’ll be both for as long as I’m alive.”

“Oh god, Luke, darling, I love you!” she cried, crashing into him and raining kisses all over this body. Before he knew what was happening he was inside her, and all stories, thoughts, and concerns receded into the past to which they belonged, clearing the way for a future they’d write together.

He handed her a bag and picked up her car keys.

“Where are we going?” she casually inquired. Their trust had developed to such a level that she didn’t even peer into the bag to search for clues.

“You’ll see.”

About thirty-five minutes later, she gasped. “Are you sure?”

“One step after another. This seems like the safest one to start with.”

“Thank you. I love you so much.”

“The feeling becomes more mutual every single day. As with the sex, I keep wondering if it can be possible for me to love you more, but then I wake up and I do.”

“Which reminds me: why are you avoiding Faith?”

“Have you talked to her?”

“I have. She’s very put out that you haven’t called.”

“I was with Olivia. She never agreed to the arrangement, and I thought it was disrespectful to even mention it.”

“You’re a good man, Luke.”

“Not always.”

“That’s in our past. Anyway, it’s you and me again. Call her.”

“We’ll discuss this later. Meanwhile, we’re here.”

A few minutes later, elevator doors opened onto a spacious apartment.

“Kathryn, Lucas, what a tremendous pleasure to see you again. I admit, Luke, that I was initially taken aback by your proposal. But your explanation was most thorough, and made a great deal of sense. Nor can I deny that my anticipation is elevated. But you must both affirm that this truly what you wish.”

“My mind’s made up,” Luke replied. “Kathryn?”

“Alejandro, I’m kinda dazed and a little giddy, but I’m really happy to see you too. Though I didn’t know about this until a few minutes ago, the answer’s an enthusiastic yes. Can I ask you two coconspirators how long we have?”

“I have cleared my calendar until tomorrow evening. In terms of available time it will be very much like our last meeting, save that I have no other guests arriving.”

“So I’ve got both of you all to myself?”

“It would seem so.”

She closed her eyes and shivered. “God, I nearly came just thinking about it. Still, Luke will be so disappointed that you haven’t provided him with another diversion.”

“I offered to make inquiries, but he wanted this to be all about you. On that subject, Luke, and before we become too distracted ... especially as Kathryn already appears to be disrobing ... I have a question for you regarding Faith.”

“You’re limping.”

“As I’ve said before, try taking that thing in your ass and see how well you walk afterwards.”

“No thanks,” he laughed. “But you certainly seemed to enjoy yourself. Maybe even more than last time.”

“In some ways, that’s true. Last time there were more inputs and new experiences, especially once Faith arrived, but even though I let myself go as much as possible, I was keenly aware that I was betraying my vows in a truly unprecedented fashion. This time, I was who I’ve always wanted to be. Without limitations. And you were right there with me, supporting me, encouraging me, and fucking me as hard as you’ve ever fucked me.”

“Well, I felt competitive.”

“My love, not that I want to discourage you if that’s going to be the result, but you never need to feel that way. It would be impossible for anyone else to approach what we have and what we do. The measure by which you’re the best lover I’ve ever had is off every imaginable scale.”

“Thank you, and I feel the same way about you. Though I did get a kick out of his reaction when you told him that you’d been with someone bigger.”

She groaned. “Most of my soreness comes from the hours that followed that confession. I almost regret it.”

“But you don’t.”

“I really don’t. He’s a fantastic lover, and despite my aches I feel extraordinary. Though I can’t believe you just sat there and watched him take me like that.”

“It was a good test for me. One I passed.”

She hugged him like a gleeful teenager and then pushed him onto the sofa. “But now we have to address the other elephant in the room. Call Faith.”

“I seriously doubt she’s been living some sort of life of chastity while waiting for my call.”

“Of course she hasn’t. But you’re playing games with a much more dangerous void than her apparently bottomless pussy. You’re challenging her ego. Alejandro promised to explain everything, but you’ve got to call her.”

“Now it’s my turn to ask this of you: are you sure? Why would you want this?”

“Because I think it’s hot as hell. Because you want her, but even more because she wants you. How often do you think Faith Anderssen wants someone and doesn’t actually get them? Never, never, or never?”

“But what if we ... I mean, if she and I... ?”

“Develop feelings? That’s even hotter. I’m not the slightest bit worried that I’ll lose you to her. But if you two want more than a date and the sex marathon that’s sure to follow, if you fall for each other, if you actually end up in love ... darling, I wanted exactly that for you and Olivia. Why wouldn’t I want it for you and Faith? Plus, we already know that she’d be completely on board with our plans for the future.”

“But she’ll never be what Olivia would’ve been.”

“You’re right. She’s not going to be your live-in girlfriend. She’s never going to stop fucking other people. She’ll always be someone who drops into our lives for a few days and then disappears for long stretches. But while I do insist that you call her, what happens next is entirely up to you. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to have sex with me again, and the feeling’s definitely mutual, but I can’t make her ours. You can. How could you not want Faith to be a permanent part of our lives, even if it’s only when she can carve out a little free time? Call her already!”

“Okay, okay. I will.”

“I can’t believe how absolutely ravishing you are.”

“Oh, please. I get professionally tarted up every single day. I can do this in my sleep. In fact, I’m pretty sure I have.”

“I’ve seen plenty of photos, and I’m telling you this isn’t that. This isn’t just you with killer clothes, amazing jewelry, and perfect makeup. This is special. You did this for me, and I’m incredibly honored.”

She opened her mouth to object, but wilted under the earnestness of his stare. “You really like it?”

“I love it when you’re shy, Faith. And yes, I very much do.”

“God, Luke, I ... who the hell are you that you make me feel this way?”

“I’m no one. Or I’m a Master Sommelier who will proceed to bore you with wine talk for the rest of the night, thereby ruining my chances for a second date. Or I’m some dude you met on day two of a rather wild orgy, and...”

“Keep talking that way and you’re going to experience another orgy right here.”

“No orgies. I know this is unfamiliar territory for you, but this is a date. We’re here to eat, drink, and get to know one other. You’re here to have a good time, and I’m here to show you one.”

“The best way to do that would be to bend me over the table and fuck me.”

“The considerable amount of effort I put into making this a completely secure dinner date would be undone by such grotesqueries.”

“Even though that’s the only thing I can think about right now?”

“Even though,” he grinned.

“Fine. I can behave. For now.” Faith picked up her glass. “So, Master Sommelier, tell me what I’m drinking.”

“And here we are,” she said, pulling a key card from a purse that probably cost more than he made in a year.

“Thank you, Faith. I had an incredibly lovely evening, and it was an immense pleasure to get to know you so intimately.” He leaned in for a kiss, which she returned with a thermonuclear level of intensity until he detached and stepped backward. “I look forward to our next date. Sleep well.”

He held back his smirk until he reached the elevators, all the while pretending to ignore her incoherently sputtered imprecations.

“Do you hear that? Someone’s pounding on your door.”

“I do. It can’t be a building emergency, because for those they either sound the alarm or call. Maybe it’s one of the neighbors complaining about the volume of your orgasms. Stay here while I figure out what’s going on.” He threw on a robe and hustled through the living room.

Faith — still resplendent in her exquisite finery — was at his door, simmering with lust and righteous fury.

“How did you figure out where I live? Also, how did you get in?” he dryly inquired.

“You forget who I am. Also, you asshole, what the fuck was that about?”

“Faith, how lovely to see you again!” The love of his life was, of course, completely naked as she exited the bedroom.

“Kathryn, likewise. Your body still pisses me off, but it’s really nice to see it again. And can you believe that this jackass just walked away from me?”

“I can, because he told me all about it, but I also acknowledge that I’m not even slightly surprised by your appearance. I know why he did it, and I freely admit that I approve, but were I in your shoes — and by the way, those are fabulous shoes — I probably wouldn’t have let him leave the hotel.”

“Well, you’re both here, so I suspect we can wrest something useful out of the...”

“Actually, we’re not. Luke, give me a few minutes to get dressed and throw some things in a bag. Faith, key and room number, please.”

At first Faith’s eyebrows arched, but then she smirked and extracted a key card. “2001 at the St. Francis. It’s a suite. Unlimited room service and bar, spa, twenty-four hour access to the gym and the pool ... absolutely anything you want. All of it’s already paid for by a very famous fashion magazine, so please indulge. And if you’re interested in a different kind of snack, there’s a very cute waiter named...”

Kathryn laughed. “I’ll indulge in everything else and take the last part under advisement, but it’s more fun if I don’t know his name. Thank you. Luke, I’ll be back late tomorrow afternoon. Be a good boy. Or actually, don’t. Faith, show him what he almost missed.”

“Oh, you can be damned sure of that.”

“You two look like you sat around and read some books, watched some movies...”

Luke moaned. The bedroom was a disaster. Most of the bedding was on the floor, nearly a quarter of the mattress was exposed, and he had hickeys and bite marks all over his body.

“How was the waiter?” asked Faith once she’d detached her lips from his half-erect cock.