Chapter 1

Based on the Television Show “The Goldbergs”

It was 1980-Something, and there was no better place to get miraculous products than the back of a comic book. I ordered X-Ray glasses that let you see a girl’s bras and panties. They didn’t work and made me look like a giant pervert. I ordered Sea Monkeys that were to build a timeless civilization in my image and worship me as their Oceanic God. They looked like tiny shrimp and died in a day and a half. I ordered a 200 piece set of WWII Soldiers to recreate D-day accurately complete with pillboxes and landing craft, and it was some cheap plastic. I ordered Charles Atlas’s Chump to Champ kit that would make me a man in 15 minutes a day, and I was still the boy destined to have sand kicked in his face if he ever set foot on a beach.

If you ever ordered any of it then you know it was all cheap crap that never worked.

That never prevented me from believing that the next time, I would get something miraculous and amazing. My best friend Dave Kim, and I shared a Penthouse magazine. It was the June 1982 edition. I’d memorized every sticky page and even read all the articles! The cover featured a hot brunette with doe-eyes wearing no pants with leg-warmers bent over a chair. She looked a lot like my sister Erica, but I must have spanked the monkey a hundred times to that image of a girl in a smoky room bent over so that her ass and pussy were fully exposed staring longingly at me on the cover of that girly magazine. I wanted a girl to look at me like that in real life more than/almost as much as I wanted another Star Wars Christmas Special.

In the back of that magazine was an ad promising to “Control Anyone -Get a Head.” The image in the advertisement was a leisure suit-wearing sleaze-ball, talking a pretty girl into a blowjob. It was supposed to contain a combination of Mexican pheromones and special chemicals designed to be ingested. They were 100% guaranteed to be safe and effective. All you had to do was to be the first person that the person who took them saw. Any time they did what you said, the chemicals would send stimulating signals to their erogenous zone, and over time they would become your willing slave!

“I don’t know, Adam. This sounds like malarkey,” my best friend advised.

“Dave Kim, would a prestigious international magazine like Penthouse advertise a product that is malarkey? It has a 100% money-back guarantee! What could go wrong?”

The first dose was free! I only had to pay the $19.99 USD shipping and handling, and I would soon be able to control anyone through their hormones.

I didn’t feel guilty at all about what I was ordering. It never dawned on me that the person I controlled might not appreciate being controlled. After all, the suggestion was going to stimulate their erogenous zones. If someone stimulated MY erogenous zone, I would have appreciated it.

I waited patiently for them to arrive by mail and made a list of girls at school I wanted to control. I’d also made a list of bullies at school that I wanted to have on my side now. The list of potential mind-slaves was way too long for the initial dose I received. Dave suggested I try a dry-run experiment with this batch, and if it worked, I could order more. He was skeptical but cautiously optimistic. He wanted this to work just as badly as I did.

I suggested I try it out on him, and that would be a good control test.

“Heck no, Adam Goldberg! Are you crazy like Swayze? What if it works and you order me to take my pants off and hoist my underwear up the flagpole!” he said.

“No problem, I’d just mind control your parents and the principal, and they would overlook a little indiscretion,” I joked.

Neither Dave nor I wanted to be test subjects for my science experiment. The big problem with this plan in general was that we didn’t plan it out at all. I saw an ad for a mind control drug and I immediately ordered it. I didn’t question why this well-kept secret drug that could turn a congressman or a CEO into your personal plaything was being advertised in the back of a Penthouse Magazine.

I was still a Freshman in High School and I was ONLY thinking about making cute girls show me their tits!

We had accomplished step one by ordering the pills but how would we get girls to actually ingest them.

I couldn’t picture myself walking up to a cute girl at school who wouldn’t give me the time of day normally and asking her to swallow a pill. It was Dave Kim who suggested breaking it up into an herbal tea. I couldn’t think of any plausible way to make hot tea for girls at school either.

I put the box under my bed for a few weeks and forgot about it while I went on other madcap and zany misadventures. I was in my bed daydreaming about Dana Caldwell’s butt. She was a little taller than me and had a butt that just wouldn’t quit. I bet you could bounce a quarter on that thing! I imagined Dana bouncing quarters off of her ass when she was alone just because I would if I had an ass like that!

I reached under my bed for my Penthouse June 1982 issue so that I could jerk off and relax. The magazine wasn’t where I usually left it. Instead, I found the box of pills I had hidden under my bed. I knew my mom snooped in my room all the time. The one place I knew she didn’t look was under my bed because she would have busted me for having the magazine a long time ago. I felt the pills could remain securely hidden there until I figured out how to use them.

Barry interrupted my thoughts by opening my door without knocking. He yelled “Panty Raid!” like his idol Bluto from Animal Force and came in swinging a nerf baseball bat. He knocked over all of my action figures and carefully placed Lego castles and space colonies while chasing me around the room.

It is lucky for me that my brother has a short attention span. His spontaneous raid on my room and pride didn’t last long. It did inspire me on what to do with the pills. If I could control Barry’s mind I could order him to leave me in peace and never make fun of me again! I decided I needed to run a few tests first to see if this stuff really worked.

Once I was ready I called Dave Kim over and explained my plan to him. Dave didn’t like Barry and he was immediately on board with helping me. I opened the pills and used on a tiny amount of the powder to make him some delicious herb tea. The sign on the box said it was incredibly potent. I didn’t want to use it all up on my dumb brother and miss out on all the titties at school if it really worked.

Dave and I had watched the movie Weird Science so often that we felt we WERE Wyatt and Gary in real life. We treated this just like an experiment and documented our results. I made notes about how much of the powder I used and what kind of tea I was using. Dave’s role was to hide with my camera and record everything like a documentary.

We didn’t consider how incriminating it may be if anyone discovered a tape of us conspiring to drug people and make them our mind-slaves. To us this was just like any ordinary science experiment-based documentary and there was nothing wrong about it.

I won’t say that I was so naïve that I didn’t realize that Barry would be angry I tried to use mind control on me if he found out. I just want to make it clear that we didn’t feel guilty because we really didn’t think about it. It seemed like a fun thing to do.

I brewed up some herbal tea for my brother. I put on a big friendly smile and put it on a tray. I brought the tea up to his room. “Thanks! This is just what big-tasty needs to start out my morning with eight essential vitamins and minerals. Hey, wait, I don’t taste eight minerals in here. How many minerals are there?” he put me in a headlock and gave me a noogie.

That was fine. He did that all the time. I just needed time for the mind control to work. The problem was it didn’t. He continued farting in my face, giving me wedgies, calling me a four-eyed nerd. If anything, he intentionally did the opposite of every command I tried to give him. If I said DON’T beat me up, he beat me up. If I said DON’T give me a purple nurple, he gave me one. Dave suggested I try the opposite, and when I told my brother to give me a pink belly, he held me down, lifted my shirt, and gave me a pink belly AND then a pink forehead. Then he sat on my head and called it an “Ass Hat”.

Note to self: Never take Dave Kim’s advice.

The next subject of our experiments was my father. I brewed him some tea and brought it to him. “Hello, Father, try some tea?” I said politely. He was sitting in his underwear in his favorite chair, watching TV.

“Go away, watching MacGyver!” he shooed me away. It took a while for him to drink the tea, but once again, it had no effect. I tried three days in a row and was told every time, “Go away, you moron! I don’t want tea!”

My Mom noticed what I was doing and became a little jealous. If you don’t know Beverly Goldberg, let’s just say she is an overbearing, hyper-emotional shopaholic with no sense of boundaries and a big mouth that she’s not afraid to use. Her job is maintaining the house, and she takes her job seriously, but she’s no put upon housewife. Beverly frequently says she could have been a lawyer and she probably could have been. She will out-argue and bluster until she gets her way when she feels the need. She has blonde hair and a boob job. She likes to wear bedazzled sweaters and gaudy mom jeans. Mom truly does wear the pants (mom jeans) in the family. Beverly can cuss up a storm, but she won’t tolerate anyone else cussing in her presence. When Bev wants something, she’ll do anything to get it. Beverly gives everything to her kids and has been there every step of the way -- PTA, orange slices at games, letting you know she’s washing your dirty underpants. Just one problem: She’s at the point in her life where it’s time to start letting go, but she CAN’T. Beverly realized that once her children are out of the picture, there’s not much left ... so she’s clinging on to what she has. Even though she fights with her husband thirteen times a day, they remain unhealthily dependent on each other. There IS love under all the bickering, and their marriage somehow manages to work.

“Oh, you want some tea? I’d be happy to bring you some,” I smiled. My mom couldn’t resist my boyish charm. She loved to grab my cheeks and pull them apart and wiggle them. It made me feel like a goofy beaver and I hated it. I made a mental note that I’d tell her to lay off with the cheek pulling if the tea worked on her. There were a ton of things I could get away with if the tea worked on her.

“You are such a good boy,” my Mom kissed my forehead and looked up to thank her lucky stars before cleaning up after my father and kvetching about his not doing anything.

Dave Kim chided me for trying to enslave my Mom when we were alone.

“I don’t think it works anyway,” I shrugged.

“You haven’t tried it on a female yet,” Dave reminded that their biology could be different, and that was true. Our experiment had not yet completed, and we still had enough tea to continue twenty or thirty more times.

“Why not try it on Erica too?” Dave suggested. He had a crush on my sister since the first time he met her.

“Is that because you want me to order my sister to take all her clothes off and pose like the girl on the cover of Penthouse June 1982?” I asked.

“Maybe,” Dave smirked.

“Dave Kim, we have an ethical obligation to test this mind control drug humanely. I couldn’t possibly order my sister to get naked,” I smirked.

“Were you planning to order Dana Caldwell or Jackie Geary to get naked?” Dave asked.

“Oh heck yeah!” I smirked.

“So it isn’t ethical if you do it to your mom or Erica, but it is if you do it to them?” Dave said.

“Dave, I don’t have time for your ethical conundrums,” I said.

Dave said, “Look, it probably won’t work, but how will you know it will work on Jackie and Dana unless you try it on your mom and Dana first?” Dave asked.

“I could try it on Jackie and Dana first hand!” I said brightly.

“Yeah, first you’d have to create a scenario where you serve them tea. Can you think of one of those?” Dave said, and he was right.

“Then you’d have to ask them to get naked. If it doesn’t work, then they are going to slap the hell out of you, and you’ll never get to talk to them again,” he said.

I should also mention my sister Erica is a brunette with a shapely butt and a cute turned-up nose. She has soft-doe eyes but a fiery temper. The oldest and most rebellious Goldberg kid. Also, the trendiest. She loves partying, General Hospital, Whitesnake, and off the shoulder shirts. But Erica’s smart as hell, too -- a double threat. She went from mathlete to miniskirts and showed up smoking hot junior year. Erica can also kick your ass. Especially if you’re one of her siblings. She constantly battles with Barry, bickering over the phone line, pushing his buttons, and delighting in his drop-of-a-hat emotional meltdowns. Erica may be the bluntly vulgar Goldberg, but she’s also sweet and protective when it comes to her baby bro, Adam. In a lot of ways, she’s the one who’s been the real parent to him. Erica may manipulate and beat up her younger brothers, but when push comes to shove, she looks out for them.

“My sister might slap the hell out of me too!” I told Dave.

“She does, anyway. You’ll ask very nonchalantly. Lead up to it. Erica is a bully. Once you have her on your side, she can beat up Barry for you and keep him at bay. Your Mom is pushy. You can order her to talk to Dana and Jackie’s moms and invite them over for tea. This is a win/win!” Dave said.

Flashforward: The next day.

“Hello Mom, how are you this fine day?” I asked my mother, politely.

She was wearing her favorite denim fringe blouse. She had bedazzled it with the name BEV in red. She was working on some “nom-noms” for me in the kitchen. Dave Kim was with me. He was holding my VHS camera. That was no surprise because we frequently made movie adaptions of our favorite silver screen movies. Barry and Erica were not home, so we pretty much had the house to ourselves. This was the perfect time to put my plan into motion in a safe environment.

Well, my Dad was, but he was watching Wheel of Fortune, and he couldn’t be bothered to look up to notice.

“Oh, just great, sweetie! Thank you for asking! I’ve got your favorite, shrimp bites with cheese!” she smiled at me and offered me a tidbit of her tasty handiwork. Mom seemed extra perky and joyful this afternoon. It was kind of annoying but I was hoping it was a side effect of the tea I had given her this morning. I woke up early and served her in bed. She made such a big deal about it that you would have thought I saved her life.

“I know I am your mother, but I think I can say this without bias, Adam F. Goldberg. You are an Adonis from marble sent from heaven to be scrumptious! Thank you for making mommy tea this morning! It was delish, and it really put a pep in my step today!” she smiled at me.

I felt a little nervous and guilty for what I was about to do, but it was for science.

“Mom, is it hot in here?” I asked as I fanned myself. It was a perfect 72 degrees. My father was an eternal cheapskate and locked the air conditioning setting permanently at 72 degrees.

“No, baby, it feels fine to me,” my Mom smiled at me.

“If you are hot you should unbutton your blouse a little?” I suggested nervously. My Mom looked at me like she didn’t understand. I was ready to bail on this entire experiment.

“Do you want me to unbutton my blouse, sweetheart?” My Mom unbuttoned the first few buttons on her top. “All you had to do was ask. It probably looks silly, all buttoned up. I want to be a hip mom! You know. Is this alright?” she asked as she left enough of her view of cleavage to genuinely be sexy - if she wasn’t my Mom. My Mom made my Dad pay for 38DD surgery a few years ago, but she usually downplayed her shapely figured in more conservative outfits.

On rare occasions, she’d dress sexy, but only if she felt there was a rival woman interested in my Dad. Then she’d bring out the big guns and wear a low cut dress.

Dave nudged me and started filming my Mom.

“Oh, Hi, Dave Kim! I almost didn’t notice you there!” Mom waved at the camera with a big smirk. She asked us what we were filming.

“A documentary! for science,” I said truthfully. This was all part of my mind-control experiment.

“About me? Oh wow, you really made my day, Adam!” my Mom put her hand on her chest to indicate she was flattered. “I would do anything for science!” she said.

That made me feel less guilty about what I was going to ask her next. She just told me she’d do anything for science.

“Would you take off your top for science?” I asked. I blurted it out so that I wouldn’t sound hesitant or fearful.

Dave Kim and I waited for these words to register on my mother’s face. She would either turn completely hostile and throw a shoe at me, or she would obey my every command.

“If I did, then Dave Kim might see my bra,” Mom said without protest or fear in her voice.

That was a puzzling response. She didn’t obey me, but she wasn’t angry, either. Maybe the mind-control drug permitted the subject to voice their objections or concerns, or maybe I just hadn’t used enough of it.

“I know that. He has seen bras before. Go ahead and do it, please,” I replied calmly like I was simply asking for more cheese on my shrimp. My Mom will put cheese on anything.

“Well, okay, but I don’t know why you would want me to do that,” My Mom said calmly as she began to unbutton her blouse completely.

My dick bulged in my tight corduroy pants. This was my own Mom, but it was intoxicating to see her surrender herself to my will.

“My blouse is fabulous and hand-crafted. I bedazzled my name in it myself,” she said as if in a confused dream-state as she folded the blouse neatly and placed it on the table. Mom wore a low-slung bra that held her tits in like massive boulders. It was like the bra was trying to hold her tits back from escaping from her chest and they were at their breaking point.

“You did, and it is lovely,” I agreed with a smile. I had tried the mind-control tea on males, and it had never worked. It suddenly made sense why it was advertised in the back of Penthouse magazine. It only worked on females! I needed a few more tests before I could be sure it would work on girls at school. How long did the effects last? Would anyone else be able to suggest she do things? What good are slaves if they will obey anyone. I whispered to Dave to ask her to do something.

“Take off your bra now, please,” Dave said.

That seemed way too far! I wasn’t ready to see my Mom’s knockers in all their glory. I had never seen bare boobs in real life. I had seen my sister’s boobs through her wet t-shirt once, and she nearly knocked my block off for staring. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to see this! I closed my eyes in anticipation.

“Is that something you want me to do, Adam?” my Mom smiled at me sweetly.

“Why? Would you do it if I was the one to ask you?” I opened my eyes with excited enthusiasm. This was perfect. It meant my Mom had imprinted on me because I was the one to give her the tea!

“I don’t want to take off my bra, but I will if you want me to,” she said. My Mom is very outgoing and controlling. This was an entirely different tone of voice than I was used too. She was submissive to my whims.

“Yes, I would like that very much,” I said.

My Mom reached behind her back and began to fidget with the snap. “Would you mind?” she asked as she came out from behind the kitchen counter. Mom bent down slightly and turned around so that I could unsnap her bra. It was like trying to open the safe to Fort Knox.

“Oh well, if you can’t do it,” Mom said sweetly and started to return to the kitchen when the door opened.

I was about to scram out of there. How would I explain my Mom in a bra in the kitchen with Dave and me filming her to anyone?

It was Erica, and she was home from shopping at the mall. “What are you toads doing?” She asked as she strode over to where we were standing in the kitchen area with a fire of anger on her face.

My father was in the living room, but he seldom paid attention to family squabbles. Erica raising her voice would seem fairly normal to him, and he tuned us out. He couldn’t see my Mom from where he was sitting, and even if he could, his eyes were glued to the television.

I had also given Erica a dose of the tea this morning. She smiled at me like she expected it and thanked me warmly. I hadn’t expected that response at all. I usually left her room under a barrage of shoes and other projectiles she was throwing at me.

“Calm down, Erica,” I said frantically.

“Fine, what is going on here?” Erica didn’t sound that much calmer.

“Adam just asked me to take off my bra, but he couldn’t unsnap it,” my Mom explained serenely to my sister.

“Oh, is that all?” Erica trotted behind the kitchen, and with a single efficient hand gesture, she unsnapped my Mom’s bra and pulled it all the way off. My Mom defensively held the bra with her elbows, but when Erica yanked it, she let it go.