Chapter 1: The Balance

Hello everyone, my name’s Robin. And not like the boy Robin either, I’m a 36 year old Woman. I’ve been specially trained and are employed to help young disadvantaged teenagers. No one physically or mentally disadvantaged but more specifically those from broken homes, etc. It’s my job to encourage aggressive young Women and Girls into either work or sport and away from using violence as a solution to their problems.

I used to enjoy it too. Helping young adults was always a passion of mine. Well they’re not young adults really, the Girls are a bit younger than that. But old enough to know better. And in my first few years I helped quite a few Girls turn their Lives around. I used to get a real kick out of it.

Then I got to my early thirties.

You see I married young. Had a daughter probably before we were ready. She’s grown up into a beautiful young Woman and my World revolves around her. My husband and I are still together, typical couple of our age, I guess. Yeah, things have gone a bit stale in the bedroom. Perhaps that’s how the fantasies started.

I was bullied badly as a kid. No reason. I guessed it was because I have a boy’s name but I’ve since learnt through being educated for the job I do that it is mostly a confidence thing. I had no confidence in myself or my growing teenage body at the time. And I’ve also since learnt Girls that age going through puberty, the more confident ones, sense that low self-esteem and prey upon it. Then they pick on Girls like me to build themselves up by pushing you down. It’s all pretty simple really.

Anyway, I’ve discovered recently that I’m not quite the upstanding member of the community I thought I had become. It all started with a newspaper article. How a school principal had resigned after a Girl he expelled for constant and dangerous bullying was reinstated by the Education Board on appeal. They found that his decision was unfair despite overwhelming evidence of bullying by the Girl as well as other transgressions.

As I read the article for the third time something in me clicked. And not in a good way either. The more I read the article the more I started to feel it, well um, down below. If you know what I mean. I didn’t read it from the point of view of wanting to help this Girl like I had helped dozens of Girls before her. The more I read the more I started to think about her victims. About my own experience being bullied. Don’t get me wrong, the bullying I endured at school were the worst months of my life. I was traumatised and Mum even took me to a psychologist. It wasn’t sexual at all.

But here I was decades later and right in that moment it was sexual. I imagined myself submitting to this Bully in the paper I was reading about. About her using me. I’ve read about it since but at the time I was having these thoughts I had never heard of power exchange fantasies, or even knew it was a sexual kink. But then again in those next few days and ensuing weeks my vanilla life and my vanilla view of life would come crashing down, all instigated and perpetrated by a teenage Girl. This Girl obviously craved attention and didn’t mind who she stepped on to get her own way. And as I’ll explain later, I mean stepped on literally. I would feel the full weight and force of Her Bullying in time to come and the more power she took the more aroused I would get. Eventually I would spend all night in bed just masturbating working out how else I could put myself further at her mercy.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Obviously the school, the Principal nor the Girl were identified in the newspaper article. To do so would make it a lot easier to expose the Girl who was protected by the law. But I had a good idea who she was. After all it’s my job to ‘help’ Girls like her so I had the inside running and went straight to her case file as soon as I got to the office on Monday morning.

Such a pretty name Tahlia.

Though she preferred Tay. She was of mixed race, more protection for her from our welfare agencies being partly Aboriginal on her Mum’s side. You see historically Australia has a poor record when it comes to prejudice against, well, all races really, but specifically native Australians. In general they were left to look after themselves in remote communities and separate Governments decades ago legislated to remove young aboriginal children from their families and there followed alcoholism, appallingly young death rates, unemployment, suicide and domestic abuse. More recently current Governments opened up pathways for young aboriginals to make something of themselves and give them the same opportunities white Australians had enjoyed for years as well as tabling an official apology in parliament to the ‘stolen generation’.

Which is where I sort of come in. I had a fantastic reputation working with these young Girls and it only took three phone calls before I had approval to visit her at her school.

I know ever since reading that article I had fantasised about submitting to her but then reality is so much different to our fantasies isn’t it? For the first time in years I was actually nervous in going to meet her. All my training and experience had taught me that the only way we could ever win over these Girls and earn their trust was to be confident in ourselves. More confident than them. Like I said earlier the whole genesis in school Girl bullying is based around self-esteem, take away your victim’s to increase your own.

But with Tay I was nervous. Never ever had I counselled one of these Girls with the even the slightest hint of sexuality surrounding the experience. Yet here I was in her school and the sexual aspect, the fantasies of submission that had invaded my mind when I first read the article, had my stomach doing backflips. She would sense my nervousness immediately whether I wanted her to or not. Everything I had learned about body language and how important it is to maintain eye contact were jeopardised as I waited outside her home room. I actually felt sick! And to think I was only nervous because I had fantasised so vividly of submitting to her! Under normal circumstances this would be just another case and another life turned around for the better. But not today.

I would suggest we go for a walk together within the school grounds, which was normal practice for me, I always found the Girls were a lot more likely to open up to me that way rather than in a stuffy office environment where there was a clear distinction between my position and theirs.

Every morning students at the school Tay attended were to go to their morning assembly. I wanted to catch her prior so that she wouldn’t be pulled out of class and immediately placed on the defensive. Her first two session teachers knew She would be with me and truth be told were more than happy to have one of the more disruptive influences out of their class.

Unusually, Tay was dressed in full school uniform on the morning I had arranged to meet her. I’d been told she usually wore this jacket that more often than not she would conceal a knife under so that was a minor relief at least. Her school uniform was a navy blue in colour criss-crossed in pattern with a lighter blue on a white background and like all the Girls these days, her hem was higher than mid-thigh; I know I had given up on getting my own daughter wearing a slightly less revealing version at her school.

The other thing to note with the uniform at this school were the white socks Tay was wearing and sandals that remained unbuckled which was also normal for most Girls and regular school uniform here. I guess I wouldn’t normally mention something as trivial as a Girl’s shoes and socks but before the end of the morning I’d be more familiar with this part of Tay than any of the things I really should have been.

That’s just how quickly things escalated.

Tahlia approached her home room with all the confidence you would expect of a bully like her. She knew she had everyone in the school bluffed, even some teachers, and the control board apparently! While the recent newspaper article hadn’t identified her, everyone in the school knew who it had referred to. Unintentionally it had just served to build her aura even further.

I could sense how she intimidated the other students just as she walked down the corridor. I’d been trained in these things and had become exceptional in reading not only body language but also the natural habits of those around. It’s true what they say; our eyes are the window to our souls.

So as I approached Tay outside her home room I wasn’t at all surprised when she locked her gaze onto mine. As I’d planned in my fantasies I was first to flinch and avert my gaze downwards; down towards those unremarkable school shoes and white socks of which I would become so familiar.

‘Hello Tahlia, my name’s Robin. I’ve got some good news for you. We’re skipping school this morning, your first two classes are with me today.’

Tay fixed her eyes onto mine again for a moment but this time I would show no weakness, I needed to convince her I could be trusted and win her confidence. This first meeting with any of the Girls I had helped was always the most awkward. I didn’t want to lie to them about who I was but I didn’t want them on the defensive either once they found out I worked for an arm of the education board to try and guide them on a different path.

But Tay was different. She wasn’t like any other Girl I’d dealt with. In fact her immediate confidence was a little off putting.

She winked at me; ‘Nice! What are you teaching? I’m a fast learner you can ask anyone!’

I was immediately disarmed by her cheery disposition as much as her self-confidence and control. In fact I wondered for a moment if I had been detailed on the wrong Girl. There’s no way I could have been though. In general all the Bullies I had helped in the past were more brooding types, sullen and wary of authority. My experience quickly kicked in though and I caught her eye and smiled just like I’d been trained, my reply had been well rehearsed over the past decade,

‘I don’t teach any subject specifically, in fact I’m not even really a teacher, hence no classroom!’

I smiled warmly at my newest case study and maintained that crucial eye contact, as I touched her forearm,

‘I’m more a careers counsellor than a teacher.’

At that Tay briefly glanced away from me breaking that friendly look we shared and when she caught my eye again it was with a much harder look. I immediately sensed her discontent. Just as quickly I understood why. Tay had been forced to see counsellors in the past in what I imagined were less than harmonious circumstances.

I laughed a warm friendly laugh,

‘Oh god Tahlia I’m not one of ‘those’ types of counsellors,’ emphasising the ‘those’ in a tone that clearly mocked the type of counsellor she had been forced to see in the past. Her face lightened again.

‘I’ve got no interest in your past or any trouble you might have been in. The school has asked me to come in and work with you specifically on your future. You’re a clever student Tahlia, all your teachers agree, and with the right direction you can be anything you want to be.’

It was a well rehearsed speech. Put together by academics and psychologists well before I came along no doubt. But as with countless others before her, Tay bought it. I had retained her attention, won some confidence and my anxiety had gone too.

‘So with me being a visitor in your school and given such a nice morning I thought maybe we could go outside and chat; maybe you might have a favourite spot you can take me?’.

Tay smiled back at me. A crooked wicked smile. Now I was the one to glance submissively down.

‘Okay Robin. You’re right, it is nice outside today. Let’s go for a walk then.’

But then I could sense her hesitate and when I glanced back up she was positively smirking at me, it had become clear that Tahlia wasn’t going anywhere. Not for a moment or two anyway. I broke eye contact again and could feel the power drain out of me. I looked back up, not understanding what was happening. Tahlia was amused. I started to say something along the lines of come on lets go then caught sight of her shifting her right hand up toward my face. I was surprised when she gently brushed the outside of her hand sensually across my cheek. Before I knew it she had possessively brushed a stray hair back behind my ear and clasped my other cheek with her left hand. She smiled at me again, butter would not melt in her mouth.

‘Say Tahlia would you please come for a walk with me to show me around your school.’

The look of shock on my face had to be apparent. Suddenly her hands on my face felt clammy and possessive. I’d planned on submitting to her and guiding our talk this way but now I was scared, nervous, intimidated, shocked. I had dealt with some very rough girls in my Life but never ever had one got the better of me like this and within moments of our first greetings.

I knew I had to be authoritative. Remove her hands from my face and put her back down but instead I was meek, frightened and confused.

‘Um, argh, are you asking me to beg you to come with me Tay?’

Her response was fast and accurate. I jerked away shocked as a glob of her spit splattered on my left cheek just beneath my eye.

I yelped in disgust as much as anything and started to say something, to admonish her for being so disgusting but all she did was raise an eyebrow; and that was enough. I looked down at Her Feet again and mumbled ashamedly what she wanted to hear. I could hardly hear myself grumble out the line as her saliva slowly ran down my cheek.

‘There’s a good girl Robbie. You were right about one thing, this is MY school and everyone in it does what I say’.

She slyly scooped the spittle from my cheek with her thumb and cleaned it off on the arm of my sleeve.

‘Now thank me for my gift and let’s get out of here.’

It felt incredibly stupid and degrading as I thanked her as she grabbed my hand and led me from outside her home room full of students to the far end of the empty public hallway. She walked me briskly to the back door as we made our way out toward the bright early morning sunshine.

‘I do have a favourite spot outside Robbie (I hated being called this!!!) somewhere private where you can do Your counselling.’

She emphasised the word ‘counselling’ openly mocking me now. As badly as I wanted to submit to her there was the Adult in me trying to convince myself how bad this is, like my whole career was in jeopardy and who knows what else? My family? My precious daughter? Surely that was enough to put an end to this nonsense.

‘Come along Robbie’ She mocked me as she led me along the empty corridor, ‘we have so much to discuss. I’m so young and my future is so important, I wonder will you teach me how to submit to Girls half my age? Or will we have a proper discussion, like the type you thought we would have when you arrived here this morning?’

I had to regain control. This could not happen. Tahlia was literally pulling me along the corridor by my hand as I struggled to keep up with her pace. Then just as we got to the end of the corridor I yanked my hand back and stopped. She looked at me amused, a crooked smile highlighting her face.

‘Tahlia, stop this right now’.

The grin never left her face. She wasn’t taking me seriously at all. It was at that moment I realised how pathetic I sounded. My tone did not have the authority required. In fact it sounded more like a request than an order. I tried again.

‘I’m serious Tahlia this has to stop. If you’re going to continue to disrespect me then I can’t help you. You’re such a bright young Woman, you can have such a promising life and the choices you make now could really affect that. Do you understand me?’