Chapter 151

“If you’re going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet.”
—Keith Richards, Keith Richards: In His Own Words

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” Em screamed at her dispatcher. “I have my discharge papers. As of ten minutes ago I am no longer in the National Service.”

“We can reactivate you in an emergency,” the dispatcher growled.

“In a declared National Emergency,” I interjected. “I’ve read the manual. All thousand pages. You can’t just reactivate someone because you need an extra body. You should check the regs.”

“I don’t know who you are but you are dangerously close to being arrested for trespassing on government property. Emily Hopkins, you are reactivated for duty on Monday, July 12 under stop loss rules. Report to your vehicle at seven o’clock for instructions. Violation of this order is a federal offense and may result in up to five years in prison. Now get out of here.”

We were stunned and backed out of the office. Em had tears in her eyes but they were tears of fury.

I took the driver’s seat in Em’s Prius and headed us back to her dorm. As soon as we got there, I got Em into a shower and went to work. I called Ray Long in Chicago. He was the person best positioned to help us as far as I could tell.

“Do you have any evidence we can use?” Ray asked. “I don’t recall any stop loss clause in the National Service. That’s a military thing and is normally only used during a time of active service in a military conflict.”

“I taped it,” I said. I’d planned to record Em’s farewell to the service and clicked on the cell phone when we entered the office. Before we left the Ren Faire, Donna had impressed upon me the importance of taping anything that we might be able to use in our special. Prior to this, it had mostly been me and Em singing in the cab of her truck. I’d expected her to receive congratulations from her dispatcher.

“Send it to me.”

The file was big enough that it took a couple of minutes before Ray had it on his computer and started watching.

“That’s absurd,” he said. “Someone is stepping way over the bounds of his authority. Here’s what I want you to do: Pack. Get Emily ready to leave tomorrow. Don’t take anything to the car. In fact, don’t leave the apartment or unlock the door for any reason. I’ll make calls and get back to you. I expect to have an escort for you by noon tomorrow and you’ll be able to leave.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. “I need to go take care of Em now.”

“You might want to keep an eye on the news. I’m going to release this recording.”

I grinned at his suggestion. Between what Ray could do and what Joan could do, I was pretty confident we’d be out of there in no time.

We didn’t get out over the weekend. Ray had to find lawyers and people in authority who could make a decision. It was the weekend and people in authority in government are hard to find on a weekend. If someone wanted to invade the US, all they’d have to do is wait until the weekend baseball games and no one would be around to stop them. If the dispatcher had pulled this stunt on Thursday, we’d have had an injunction by the time Em was out of service on Friday night.

An injunction was what we finally got and two deputy US Marshals showed up at our door at six o’clock Monday morning. They helped us transport the boxes and clothing Em had packed down to her car. It’s amazing how much stuff you can put in the back of a Prius—or maybe it’s amazing how little Em had to pack after two years in the service.

A state trooper approached us as we were putting the first box in the car and declared he was there to escort us to the shipping yard. One look at the deputy US Marshal’s identity and a quiet explanation later, the trooper got in his car and left. We locked the door, dropped the key off in the dormitory office, and made it to the yard at exactly seven o’clock.

I had the record button pushed on my cell phone when we walked into the office. The original recording had gone viral on all the social media and was often attached to renditions of our ‘The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly’ video. I had no idea if the dispatcher paid any attention to the media. One look at him when we walked in said he did.

“Turn that off!” he shouted at me. “You can’t record in a federal facility.”

“Somebody had too much ego for breakfast,” I said.

“Security!” the guy barked into his phone. “Get in here.” He wasn’t expecting the two Deputy US Marshals who walked into the room.

“Ellis Smith, you are under arrest for subverting the authority of the United States National Service Corps with illegal orders,” the first deputy said.

“You can’t arrest a member of the corps!” he shouted back.

“The corps is a civilian organization and all members and managers are subject to civilian authority,” the Marshal said. “You have confused your role with a military one.”

“The corps is managed by the military,” Smith declared. “It operates under military rules.”

“That is an issue you will need to take up with the judge at your hearing,” the deputy said. “Ms. Hopkins, we’ve examined your discharge papers and find everything in order. You’re free to go. Mr. Smith, if you would accompany us, please.” Em and I beat a hasty retreat but I paused long enough at the car to record Smith being led from the office in cuffs. I got in the car and before we were out of range of Salina, I’d uploaded the video to Ray. Em and I relaxed as we headed east toward home.

We made it halfway across Illinois before we had to stop for the night. Em and I fell into bed at a Quality Inn in Effingham and didn’t bother with dinner. We stripped, showered, and made love for several hours, letting all our tension and frustration out before we got down to seriously expressing our love for each other.

It was another 350 miles home on Tuesday and the drive was completely relaxed. We’d burned off the stress from the weekend and didn’t have room to add the stress of reunions and homecoming. We cruised into Fort Wayne at three o’clock, which gave us plenty of time to visit at Donna’s house before we went to have dinner with my parents.

The pod was all tense. They’d been watching the videos and doing their best to boost shares all weekend. Our GBU video was back at the top of the downloads list and our new T-shirt with the slogan ‘Somebody had too much ego for breakfast,’ was selling fast. It was a new meme on Twitter and Facebook and was used for any person who remotely seemed to be bragging about something. Of course, it had been in comments to a news briefing at the White House and several statements by congressmen and senators.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the National School called to rescind their offer for an audition. If they were looking for someone to go around putting a positive spin on the National Service, I was probably not the right choice. Not after this weekend.

I’d only said two things on the video I shot and both were becoming popular memes. The other was from the first video and simply said, ‘I’ve read the manual.’ I was amazed again at how many totally unrelated things a meme could be applied to. I saw it attached to an old timey picture of a guy with a car disassembled in front of him and a puzzled look on his face. It was captioned ‘#Ivereadthemanual.’ Another showed the same array of parts leading up to a space shuttle. Cartoons appeared, too. A civilian Sad Sack kind of guy being yelled at by his boss, but shaking his head and holding up a book. It, too, said ‘I’ve read the manual.’

It was inevitable that Sophie, Donna, and Beca were all on our case immediately to come up with another parody music piece that we could use one or the other of the phrases in. It’s too bad we didn’t have the content before we finished filming in Kansas at the Ren Faire.

Em and I spent her first night back at Nanette’s house with Mom and Dad. We were all happy to be together but being in a different house just emphasized to us all that we were missing the little drop of sunshine that had been my baby sister. We all decided it was better for us to both move out to Donna’s, which we were lucky Donna agreed to. Enthusiastically.

Wednesday night was our normal sleepover night, a carryover from our Wednesday night study sessions during the school year. All of us but Joan and Livy were at the house. Still two people in service. Livy got Sunday telephone privileges now and the pod had kept her informed of what was happening with Em and me. I’m sure she was dying to know the next episode since we hadn’t had the last showdown yet when she called Rachel this week.

Em and I took Rachel to bed with us and did our best to show her how much we loved her and to comfort her after the weekend now that the drama with Emily’s service was over. Making love with Rachel has been an intense experience for us since the first time two years ago. Adding Em to our bed and Rachel’s impending induction made it even more intense. We were exhausted in each other’s arms as we finally slept for the night.