Chapter 43

“It’s the flapper.” I pointed at the rubber disc that covered the hole to keep water from flowing out.

“The flapper, seriously?” Lavi replied, leaning over brushing her chest against me.

“That’s what I call it.”

She looked at the toilet and then me. “Your arm is still busted, huh?”

“That’s what the doctor says.”

Again, she looked at the toilet and then me. “It is toilet water.”

“It is in the reservoir, not the basin.”

“I’m pretty sure the whole thing is a toilet and thus,” she pointed, “that is toilet water.”

I put the spare part in her hand. “Joys of homeownership.” I turned and left.

From over my shoulder, I heard Lavi yell, “Maybe they’ll kick us out and we can just use the hallway one until then.”

I yelled back, “Don’t forget to turn the water back on under the toilet. I love you!”

I heard grumbling but then she yelled “You better have boy sperm! I want sons to do this for me in the future!”

I turned the corner into the hallway, “Boy sperm, I promise!” I made my way downstairs and found Melissa in the kitchen dressed in denim shorts and a white tank top with the straps of a red bikini top underneath. She was preparing the bacon-wrapped dates. “I have to wonder,” I said, “why if Lavi hates home repair so much didn’t she choose to do this instead?”

Melissa grinned. “She said as a good Jew she can’t even prepare the bacon.”

“But she can eat it,” and I finished the thought before Melissa could say it, “because it magically transforms.” I picked up a spare date and popped it into my mouth. “Lavi is a creature of wonder isn’t she.”

Melissa gave me a quick kiss. “That is a very kind way to put it and yes she is. Now, I labeled the containers last night for the snack ingredients so if you will get them out and put them on the island that would help.”

“I’m allowed to do something?”

“That,” and she looked at me seriously, “and only that.”

“Yes ma’am.”

I finished the small task and looked at the yard again. The nursery had spent the morning pulling flowers for us after we talked to them yesterday. June would pick them up on her way here. When Meilin heard, via an Instagram post I made, that we were planting flowers she decided to come over and help. That meant Ji decided she didn’t want her mother over here unsupervised. In addition to the bacon-wrapped dates we had veal andouillette sausage baked in mini-croissants, chicken sandwiches, and a salad along with pitchers of sweet tea and mango lemonade. The croissants were my biggest worry. I couldn’t work the dough myself and it’s hard to explain a tactile measurement. Still, Melissa was becoming a pretty competent cook in her own right.

I looked in the backyard. Late yesterday the yard crew that did my maintenance came over after finishing their normal schedule and tore up strips for flower beds and put down mulch. The owner of the crew had been happy to do it on short notice after I told him it was to keep the bees away from my neighbor. This bullshit of claiming my yard wasn’t being maintained had been taken personally by the owner of the lawn service who relied on his reputation for business. He was also going into my lawyer’s office tomorrow and taking documentation as we prepared for the case with the HOA.

Maybe it was because I was looking at the beds but Melissa seemed to read my thoughts. “Are you going to wait on the lawyer or do you have a new plan after yesterday?”

I tried to be light-hearted when talking about it but I couldn’t imagine having to move. “I don’t have a plan but I’m not ready to just let the courts sort it out. Maybe I took the wrong track. I started with those who already voted with Fred. Is there anyone who hates the HOA?”

Melissa’s voice faded a bit as she stuck her head into the refrigerator. “Probably, but I only know the regulars from when I’d go to meetings with mom.”

“Your mom said she had been the Vice President right?”

Melissa moved around, “Until this past Spring.”

“Your mom, she strikes me as the type to still have all the minutes from the meetings she was at.”

“I’m sure. Hold on. She said she was going out to play tennis but I can leave a message.” She picked up her phone and soon was talking into it. “Hey, mom. Surprised to get you. Oh, late start, huh. Can I have a favor? Super simple, need the minutes from HOA meetings. Exactly. Thanks!” She held up a finger to make me wait after she hung up. She hummed along to a pop song as it came on her playlist and played through the television speakers. We were halfway through it when Melissa said, “There we go.”

A second later my phone beeped with an email and PDF attachments. I scrolled through them. “Wow.”

“Yeah, no one can fault mom for not being organized. What are you hoping to find?”

“Anything that got people riled up. I can’t imagine I’m the first person Benson has tried to steamroll.” I heard the front door open and looked down the hallway to see Ji pushing it open and her mom carrying a glass jar. Meilin stopped a few feet short of me and bowed. I turned to Ji who stepped up and gave me a polite hug and then stepped back.

What I wasn’t expecting was her then to screech and lurch a few feet vertically as her mother smacked her hard on the rump. “MOM!”

Meilin looked crossly at Ji. “That no way to greet boyfriend. Give him a proper kiss.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

I don’t know what Meilin said next because it was in Chinese but Ji, again, said, “Oh my god, Mom, just no. Super totally no.”

Meilin pointed at me.

Ji glared at her mother.

Meilin smirked and in a, I felt exaggerated, Chinese accent said, “If my daughter not give her boyfriend proper kiss she shame family so maybe it falls to mother to restore honor.” She couldn’t hold her grin in and it made Ji scowl. I glanced over at Melissa who looked like she was trying to not laugh. Ji exploded into a Chinese tirade. I didn’t understand the words but that tone is universal. I did not believe that Meilin, for one second, thought the honor of her family was in danger. I did believe that everything Ji had done to annoy her mother had accumulated in one great debt that her mother was taking payments on now.

When Ji finished Meilin said something quickly that I again couldn’t understand but it sounded like gloating. A moment passed and then Ji said “FINE” and then stomped over to me and on her tiptoes gave me a kiss that was equal parts rage and lust. I’m not sure how long it lasted but a man can only do one reasonable thing when kissed like that and it is to grab the girl and kiss her back even if her mom is right there. And then she was disengaged, grabbed Melissa, and did the same thing. When they came up for air Melissa was uncharacteristically frazzled.

Ji looked like a predator. “Where is Lavi?”

“Bedroom,” I said. Ji was gone as soon as I said it. A second later I heard an “Ooo” and then the bedroom door slamming shut.

I looked at Melissa. “I think we’re going to be using the hallway bathroom.”

Melissa cleared her throat. “I think they may be up there a while.”

Meilin nodded. “She was bitchy this morning, maybe she will be relaxed.” She held out the jar in her hands which was filled with dried leaves. “Tie Gua Nyen. Very good Oolong tea. Excellent with a little bit of honey that brings out the natural aftertaste.”

“I’ll put the water on,” I said. As I went to do it the door the bell rang and Melissa went to get it. Soon June came in dressed in jeans and an old t-shirt.

“Hello peeps! I’ve got a van totally full of flowers, who wants to help?”

I looked to Melissa, “I can put things in and out of the oven, you help.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“I will help too,” Meilin said.

As the three women walked towards the front door June asked, “Where are Ji and Lavi?”

“Jiang was very stressed,” Meilin said.

“So Lavi is giving her a massage,” Melissa said.

“With happy ending,” Meilin said.

June asking “What?” Was the last thing I heard. I think it took me a while to stop laughing.

Two hours later I was on the patio reading through dozens of HOA meeting minutes. I had read more interesting reports on crust composition in drilling core samples. In fact, every single core sample report I had ever read was more interesting than this. I put down my tablet. Summer hadn’t completely let go of the weather so it was still plenty warm. Ji, Melissa, and Lavi had all adjusted clothes to wear similar shorts and bikini tops. June and Meilin were more modestly dressed and not as well built but attractive in their own right. All five were on their hands and knees in the dirt. I had one glass of hot tea and one of cold tea and looked at cleavage and posteriors. A bee flew by as a nice breeze rustled my hair. This really was a perfect moment. If I put out of my mind my arm, the HOA, whatever was going on with the police, and everything else that wasn’t here right now this moment was amazing.

Melissa got up and sat next to me. I watched her approach, her breasts shifting with each step in the red bikini top. She smiled as she sat and took a spare glass to drink some tea. Then she leaned back in the chair and let her hair shake loose while closing her eyes.

“Taking a break?” I asked.

“Done. Five people make quick work.”

“Awesome.”

“Enjoying the view?” She still had her eyes closed but was smirking.

“I am.”

“Perv. You’re already fucking three of us and you’re perving on the middle-aged women too.”

“Don’t try telling me that bothers you.”

“Not one bit. Actually, it makes me feel good to know you’ll still be perving on me when I’m older and have had kids.” She put her hand over mine.

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “There is never a time I won’t perv on you.”

“Sweet talker. Kiss me properly or I’ll sick Ji’s mom on you.”

“Yes ma’am.” I leaned over to her lips and kissed my nymph. Sitting back I said, “I’m glad Ji didn’t call her mom’s bluff though. She and Lavi came down looking really happy.”

Melissa laughed and it sounded like music. “I’m not so sure it was a bluff. But yeah, Ji and Lavi definitely both are in a good mood. For Lavi, I think it was the surprise of it but for Ji ... well, the three of us I think get spoiled with how much we have each other.”

“Not a bluff?”

“Meilin is something else. I’m not sure what her rules are.”

“Well, she’s not sleeping with me.”

“Would you have if she had pressed though?” Melissa had that look in her eyes.

“No, not without talking to everyone about it and that includes Ji and that is a conversation I don’t want to have.”

“Would you want to though?”

“I just said”

“No, I mean everyone is fine with it, no one gets hurt, if all that was true would you fuck Ji’s mom if she offered it? You had the daughter you get the mother, do you take it?” She was watching my face for my reaction.

I looked over at Meilin. She was on her knees working with one of the last flowers to be planted, something called a hellebore that the nursery had said would bloom in the winter. Meilin had a smooth face and I could see Ji in it. She wasn’t gorgeous but she had intelligent eyes and I could imagine her laugh turning into a vibrant scream.

I started to get a little aroused and Melissa must have known because she scooted her chair closer to mine and reached over to run her palm over my crotch. “Pervert.”

“Meilin is not an unattractive woman.” I might have been a little defensive.

Melissa leaned so that she could whisper in my ear. “You want to see if she sounds like Ji when she cums? Maybe she feels like Ji when you cum inside her too.” I tried to keep my face neutral since the girls planting were occasionally looking over this way. June was looking over at Lavi and Ji’s planting. I was wearing my sweat pants and Melissa discretely hooked one of the other chairs with her foot and moved it to make sure it blocked the view under the table. Her hand moved into my pants and wrapped around me. Her tongue flicked at my earlobe as she said, “Oooo you must be feeling better my little guy here is awake. Or maybe fucking a mother and daughter is just getting you hot.”

“I think Ji would find a threesome with her mom undersirable.”

“I’m not talking about a threesome baby, just them lying next to each other while you go back and forth sticking your truncheon in them.”

“Truncheon? Have you been reading 19th-century porn again?”

“Yes, but you’re deflecting.”

“If they’re naked and nearby I think it might still be a threesome.”

“Nah, they have to touch, or at least both touch you at the same time. That would be hot too.” She was definitely enjoying this.

I decided to challenge her. “Would you lay there with your mom as I went back and forth?” From the shock on her face, I was afraid I’d gone too far.

Then her face melted into a grin. “God, that would be so hot. It would be like you fucking me now and in another twenty years!”

“Really?”

She gave that trilling laugh. “Really? Probably not. I’m never going to ask my mom to fuck you with me. In fantasy though? Fuck yeah, it sounds hot.”

I looked at her. “You are a miracle.”

“No, I’m a horny bitch who has spent the last hour imaging you coming over there and fucking each of us on our knees while we work and the others watch.”

“You are a horny bitch huh? Prove it.”

“Fine. Know when I went inside to use the bathroom earlier?”

“Yeah?”

“These shorts have a little cloth flap. They keep the zipper away from my underwear. I took my panties off so I could spend the last half hour feeling that piece of denim rubbing my clit.” She stood, her tight denim-wrapped ass right in front of me. “I’m going inside to take care of things. Want to join me?”

I stood and followed her quickly inside. She started to go up the stairs and I pulled her into the first-floor bathroom. “What if someone needs a bathroom?” she asked with a giggle.

“The non-horny people can walk upstairs,” I said. I shoved my pants and boxers down in one motion.

“Fine.” She dropped her shorts and true to her word was nude underneath. She jumped onto the sink, the same place I’d flirted with Ji weeks back. With Melissa’s bikini top and my polo shirt still on we coupled, her long legs wrapping around my waist. I felt like I hadn’t felt in ages. I felt alive despite the cloud the medication put over the world. I wanted her more than I wanted to breathe. But even more than amazing than she felt, it was that feeling of wanting to be alive that she made rise up in me that made me want to scream in joy. Her musk came up and I was panting, wanting to suck the scent of her into me. I couldn’t pull out much because she kept me wrapped in her legs. My good arm held my weight against the mirror and I panted leaning over her as I thrust. She came almost instantly and tightened her hold on me wanting more.

“One more thing,” she was panting now too, her chest heaving, sweat beginning to form on her breasts. “If I ever do come in this house and do find you fucking my mother...” she paused as she grabbed my chin and held my eyes to her’s, “you had better record it so I can watch it later while you fuck me.”

I knew it was just Melissa enjoying fantasies but I suddenly starkly had the image of myself fucking Linda Milton in the ass while Melissa watched from a chair and I came inside my beloved while she encouraged me to fantasize.

Melissa shook, the third in a series of sharp fast orgasms. “That’s it baby, soak me.” We settled into a bit of rest. She kept her legs around me. “Did that get you hot, imagining my mother?”

“You got me hot.”

She nodded. “True, but evasive.”

“And,” I held up my finger, “diplomatic.”

She grinned. “Very diplomatic.”

On our way back outside we filled a pitcher with ice and took it with us. Lavi was waiting at the table. As soon as we sat Lavi ran her toes along Melissa’s calf.

Lavi smirked. “Feel better?”