Chapter 42

Yussef and June went to get dessert with us and a low-key grilling continued. I racked my brain for possibilities while eating. Dinner followed desert. Next door to the bakery was a Caribbean place and we all had two family-style chicken and papaya dishes with rice split between us. We went over it several times but the facts always came out the same. I hadn’t dated much since Jordyn. Over the years my friends gave up on trying to set me up. My only date in the last three years had been a woman that if she had been underage had managed to already get a master’s in hydraulic engineering and divorced really young. She had slept with me and then ghosted me. June pressed, unwilling to let go of the idea that perhaps I’d had some kind of online communication with a girl. I don’t think emails to my mother counted. Could my ex-fiancé have some kind of grievance? Sure, but a decade later? That seemed far-fetched to me. And so it went until everyone had beaten the horse to death and started on a nearby donkey.

Before we parted ways Melissa asked Yussef if Zahra was still coming over tomorrow. She was polite but she might as well have thrown a glove at him in challenge. He took a significant pause before responding that he was going to talk to Zahra and let the final decision be hers. I think Yussef believed me but it was hard for him to not have doubts. I couldn’t blame him. June looked at me as she got in her car to leave and said she had no problem with Grace coming over. She was sure Grace would still want to. I thought I saw some doubt in her eyes but it meant something that she thought she knew me well enough to push it to the side.

I decided to spend Friday wallowing, which was easy given a combination of my pharmaceutical condition and mental state. When Zahra showed up I almost cheered not because I looked forward to seeing her that much but because it felt like a validation. Lavi had already left for classes but Melissa gave her a quick sisterly hug on the way out the door. I was on the couch watching Godzilla Shows a Punk Monkey Who the King Is for the third time. I actually had more affection for Kong as a character than you might think but if you’re going to put a nuclear dinosaur versus a monkey with a pituitary gland problem I’m cheering for fucking Gojira. I had said as much to Melissa who responded that I was cute when I was a geek.

Zahra smirked as she plopped down on the couch with textbooks in hand.

“What,” I asked?

“Mellie said you had a Godzilla thing.”

I sniffed for dramatic effect. “I enjoy fine cinema.” More seriously, “Have you ever watched Godzilla?”

She thought about it. “I saw the one with the guy married to that girl who did Sex in the City.”

“Mathew Broderick?”

“Yeah, that was it!”

“That wasn’t Godzilla.”

“Oh, I thought it was, sorry.” She didn’t catch my tone.

“No, I mean technically it was but it totally ignored the themes of Godzilla. It was a generic monster movie with the Godzilla name.”

“Wasn’t the original Godzilla just a monster movie?”

“Maybe but you can’t just talk about a person by talking about who they were when they were born and ignore the rest of their life.”

“Hmmm” she looked thoughtful and tapped the ballpoint pen against her lips. “Let me think on that. But for now, I need to take notes for French. Do you know French?”

“If you need to translate a menu I might be able to help but if you have to conjugate something, no.”

She seemed to take that as a cue to start her work. She put in earbuds and I resumed the movie. An hour later as the movie wrapped and she closed the books.

“All done?” I asked.

“For now.” She stretched, removing the earbuds one at a time. “I need to do poli-sci later.”

“Thanks for keeping me company,” I said.

“That’s sweet. You’re welcome but it’s like a null thing.”

Sometimes talking to Zahra felt like I was deciphering a secret language. “Well, it’s certainly something.”

“Nope. Besides, it’s nice to get out and hang.”

“Even if it’s with a guy?”

“Especially a guy! I know this will sound ridic but if I have to spend one more sleepover watching ‘To All the Boys’ again I’ll hurl or something.”

“Not a fan of the movie or the genre?”

“Both. I mean, it’s all a part of this ‘boys are the center of the universe’ thing. I don’t get it.”

“You’re good friends with Lavi and Mellie though. They are pretty darn girly.”

“Yeah, but they don’t exist for boys. When they dress or do their hair it’s for them. Mellie and Grace were the only ones who didn’t find it weird that I wanted to style my hair even if no one saw it.”

“What if it’s for another girl and not a guy?”

She gave a light, almost musical, laugh. “You mean them. Please, either could come out of a fire hideously burned and they would still adore each other. Watching Mellie be so clueless for three years was like reading the most frustrating yuri ever.”

“Yuri?”

“Girl love comics. Clueless attraction is an extremely common thing in them.”

“Are you, uh, yuri?”

“Like lesbian? No. I’m straight, hundred percent.”

I smiled. “Don’t say that around Lavi, she might take it as a challenge.”

She grinned. “I told her once that I ever wanted to walk on that side of the street I would definitely call her to make sure I got the best experience possible. But, that would be cheating so no.”

I was surprised. “You have a boyfriend?”

Her eyes widened. “On my Lordy, no, Pops would flip and homicide might happen.”

“You said it would be cheating.”

“On my future husband. I will be a virgin on my wedding night. Not that I’m in any hurry for that.”

“I...”. I stopped myself.

“What?”

“I admit, I’ve been curious about a few things but especially after this police thing I really, really, really don’t want the impression I’m, you know, talking you up.”

“Tell you what. You ask and I’ll know in advance you’re not hitting on me, all right?”

“You’ll tell me if I make you uncomfortable?”

“Oh, for sure!”

In for a penny... “So, I got the impression you wanted to be more American from things the girls told me but here you seem totally on board with being a good Christian middle eastern whatever it is your family believes kind of girl.”

She shrugged. “I can’t say I’ve always been of one mind. Yeah, sometimes it’s hard to feel like an outsider and growing up ... well, it’s hard, right?”

I nodded in agreement. “Right.”

“So I’ve had what you might call moments of weakness but all this,” she waved around us, “with you and Lavi and Melissa and now Ji - it’s like we’re all on the outside but together. It’s kind of made it easier for me.” I nodded again. I hadn’t thought of it like that. “Plus it’s kind of fun telling the world to fu ... fudge off.” She looked sheepish.

“You can say fuck here. You watched porn at the kitchen table once.”

She turned red. “I’d kind of forgotten that. We probably shouldn’t do that again until things calm down.”

I sighed. “If they ever do.”

“To all things, there is a season. Now, can I ask a question?”

“Sure, fair is fair.”

“So you and Ji ... slapping taints?”

“I...”. I paused my brain separating the meaning from words. “I don’t have a taint to slap with.”

She scrunched up her face. “Doesn’t the whole groinal thing count?” She waved faintly in the direction of her own groin.

“Only for women, I think. Well, those with vaginas. Don’t tell Mellie I said women by definition have vaginas. I’ll get lectured about trans-exclusionism or something.”

She laughed, “Yes, you will! Fine, are you slapping her taint then?”

“I’m not sure I should answer that. It’s her business...”

“It takes two to tango, it’s as much your business as her’s.”

She had a point. “We are friends and we are physically very, very friendly.”

She looked satisfied with that. “I figured. I could see this vibe when she’s around you and Lavi.”

“And Melissa.”

“It’s not the same.”

I paused before saying, “Explain.”

“So, she’s, like, super comfortable around Melissa and I can tell they’re really friendly but with you and Lavi, her whole body language changes. She has no barriers up at all. It’s amazo.”

I was tired and didn’t know how to process that. So, I tossed the remote to Zahra and said, “Feel free to watch what you want. I’m going to close my eyes.”

“I don’t want to keep you awake.”

I yawned. “Trust me, you won’t.” As I was closing my eyes I could have sworn I saw a blue sedan that looked familiar slowly drive by the front of the house.

I awoke to hear a soft British accent saying. “They cut his balls off, burned them, and then...” I opened my eyes to see a man strung up on a ladder in a medieval setting.

“What the hell is this?” I think I mumbled it more than asked it but Zahra hit pause, seemed to realize she had paused it on a pretty gruesome scene, and then let it go forward to some woman of royalty eating fruit before pausing it.

“Hugh Despenser the Younger. The Queen deposed the king and had a real mad-on for the Despensers. The Younger here tried to starve himself rather than go through everything they did to him.”

“What is this, some Game of Thrones clone?” I was wiping sleep from my eyes and taking a sip of the tea on the table. The ice was long melted but it was still good.

“Uh, no. This is about the rule of Edward II, historical stuff.”

“Oh.” I felt stupid. “History, especially outside the US has never been a strong suit for me,” I admitted.

She bounced on the couch slightly, her headscarf shifting. “I love this stuff. It’s super exciting. I want to do a tour of England and go to all the castles one day.”

“Are you still doing the tea stuff for the ... what’s it called?”

“The Gentle Folks? That’s what Mellie is getting people to call it.”

I laughed. “Sounds like the bad guys in a Doctor Who episode.”

She grinned. “That’s exactly what Lavi said. Yeah, I’m working on the high tea, it’s going to be a blast.”

Saturday morning came around and my coffee was waiting for me at the bedside. I used the bathroom, sipped a bit of the blessed beans, and then decided to see where everyone was. I made my way downstairs and found Melissa and Lavi in the kitchen. I heard the music before I got there, Ariane Grande singing “you got me working side to side.” I kept half a step back from the doorway and watched them. Lavi was dressed in jeans and a nice white blouse, both conservative since she was going to the temple. Melissa was in a white bra and panties. Both had their arms around each other’s waists and they were kissing gently as they swayed gently to the music. The song reached its end and looped back to the beginning and they kept dancing.

I smiled and went back upstairs and was still smiling fifteen minutes later when Melissa made her own way up and I heard Lavi heading out the front door. Melissa was still in her bra and panties but now had toasted bagels on a tray with eggs and turkey sausage.

“Hey sleepyhead,” she said.

“Lavi grab one for the road?”

“Yeah, I kind of ran late making them.”

“It happens.” We ate on the bed and when we finished I laid back down and put music on as Melissa put one leg over mine and began trailing fingernails over my chest.

I kissed her forehead. “Horny?”

“Always,” she purred as she snuggled against me.

“I know I don’t have a lot of energy but I could...”

“Robert.”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

“I don’t want you to think”

She pushed up on one elbow and didn’t let me finish. “Robert Christopher, over the rest of our lives you’re going to fuck me thousands of times, everywhere, in every way. We’re going to commit sacrilege and probably break local ordinances. Discretely. I’m going to bear you children. The fact that I’m always horny means nothing. Right now nothing matters except you making sure you’re around for all those future days.”