Chapter 50

Waking up Sunday, I went on a morning run, to spend time contemplating everything that was going on.

The ordeal with Dick and the bogus assault charges was going to be troublesome for a while. What had me just as worried was Ellie suddenly not accosting me or calling the house; at least from what I knew.

The issue with mom was what it was. Mom hadn’t been bugging me in a while, and that was somewhat disconcerting. I had made my stance known and it was her move now.

The rest of my life was fairly calm, although I did get yelled at for falling asleep in church. It was like I’d murdered someone; the berating lasted all day long.

I had a sense of dread and foreboding as I got ready for school Monday morning although going to bed the night before, I had thought it was going to be a good week.

I got the coveralls and lock for Auto class from Mr. Pope so I would be able to get right to doing the dirty work.

I made it through first period before the shit started hitting the fan. I was making my way to the Vocational wing when someone hollered my name from behind me.

“Are you Barnim?” I turned around to see a girl standing one of the doors to the cafeteria. I recognized her but couldn’t remember her name. I decided to just go with it.

“Yeah, can I...”

Before I could say anything else, she fast walked over to me then stopped for a second and looked up at me. It was over before I knew what had happened and she was walking away. The fact that she had slapped me didn’t register. I had no clue what precipitated it.

Walking into Auto class, I was still in a state of bewilderment, just kind of going through the motions. As I put the coveralls on, I replayed what I could remember of what happened. It took several times before I remembered what she said before walking off.

It was, “You fucking pig how dare you do that to her”. I had no idea what the fuck the crazy bitch was talking about. To top it off, I still couldn’t remember who the fuck she was.

It took me till about halfway through class before I was able to shake the daze off. I got about halfway through dismantling the lawn mower engine before class ended. I was able to figure out why it wouldn’t run and called over to Mr. Prieto who let me know I was right. I’d be able to put it back together tomorrow. If it ran, I’d get an A.

I was altercation free for NJROTC, but the wacky shit started again as I was on my way to lunch. Frank was waiting near the doorway going back into the main part of the school. Oddly not that far from where I got slapped earlier.

I didn’t see him before he jumped in front of me, almost getting run over. Again, before I could say anything things spiraled out of control and he was yelling at me.

“You know you’re a piece of shit. I actually thought you were a nice guy. Now I know the truth, and you’re even worse than Beth was. You two assholes should be together so that you both can rot in hell.”

Again, I was caught off guard, standing there it took me a minute to regain my composure. Once again it was too late, and Frank had already walked off before I was able to say something.

What the fuck was going on? It was like that I was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. The girl from earlier was an unknown, but this was someone who was supposed to be a friend.

Walking into the lunchroom, it felt like I was being watched. Lost in my own head I wasn’t even really paying attention when I got a tray of whatever they were serving. It was a couple of minutes before I realized that I was sitting at the table alone.

Looking around, there were people all over the cafeteria staring at me. I caught a glimpse of Earl sitting at a table across the lunchroom, what the fuck was this all about.

Putting my head down, I forced my lunch down and I just wanted this day to end. Throwing the trash away, I headed to weightlifting a few minutes early.

The Blackwell twins stepped in my path. I looked at them and asked. “And what do y’all want?”

Tommy looked at me. “Tell me this shit isn’t true?”

“I have no clue what the fuck you are talking about. This is the third time something weird has happened today. First, I get smacked by some girl I don’t know, then I get yelled at by someone who is supposedly a friend. So, if you two both know what the fuck all this weird shit is about, please clue me in.”

“What the hell are you going on about Barnim? How the hell are you not aware that you got Ellie pregnant?”

“What the fuck did you just say?”

Taylor then chimed in. “How do you not know that you got somebody pregnant?”

“I don’t know because I didn’t get anybody pregnant.”

“Bullshit!”, came from both of them.

It hit me. OH FUCK! This was Ellie’s new scheme. But then I’d watched enough daytime TV in all my years and knew this whole thing would probably play out one of two ways. The most likely scenario was that good ole Dick knocked her up and was in on the plan to say it was mine. The other was that she made the whole thing up and was magically going to miscarry shortly after we got back together.

“Look you two, I can only tell you what the truth is from my point of view. If she is pregnant, it’s been less than about 2 months. Ellie and I haven’t had sex for longer than 2 months. So, it can’t be mine. I’ll go to court to fight that shit.”

They looked at each other, Taylor just sighed. “Guess we’ll just have to see how this shakes out. Though if you say it’s not yours, then I believe you.” Tommy agreed with him too.

“At this point, I could probably get this booked on the Maury Povich show. She’d need to accuse me of hitting her before Springer would touch this whole thing.” They both chuckled, though it was the nervous laugh when you didn’t know what else to do.

“Look, I’m going to go lift some weights. I need to burn off the anger that’s building. Y’all do what you feel you need to. I’ll understand.”

I walked off; fuming would be an understatement. The beast in the box was rattling his cage demanding to be let out. I was seriously contemplating letting him out, luckily no one approached me as I made my way to the gym.

Getting changed, I was slinging stuff around and needed to start moving weight. Walking into the weight room, Coach Antebian was sitting at the table.

“Can you mark me present so I can start lifting.”

“Roll isn’t done till everyone is here.”

“Coach, I need to lift right now.”

“You need to wait until everyone is in class.”

He just wasn’t getting it. I let both fists thud down onto the table in front of him. Lowering my head so that we were eye to eye.

“Coach, it’d be advisable that you let me start lifting now.”

There was a look on his face said, “Who that fuck do you think you are?”. Then it changed.

“Go lift. Though you and I will have a serious conversation when class is over.”

I went over to a bench, putting 2 45lb plates on the bar and started lifting. After a couple of sets, I got up and put 2 more on the bar then got it up for a couple more sets before stopping once again.

Putting 2 25lb plates on, I now had 275lbs counting the bar that I got up about 5 times. Setting the bar down, I got up to get more weight, and then realized that I hadn’t noticed one of the football players had been spotting me.

Looking at the Coach, I was surprised at his response. “Just get back to lifting.”

I added 2 more 45lb plates bringing the total to 365 lbs. The football player looked at me.

“You sure about this? Some of our lineman don’t even lift this much, and they’re a lot bigger than you.”

“Yep.”

I got myself set and pulled the bar off the bench. It was going well until I started back up. My arms started shaking, gritting my teeth I let the anger and rage take over. I got it up but knew that was it. My arms were basically spaghetti at this point, but the beast was back in the cage and the anger burnt out. Shaking out my arms, Coach came over to where I was.

“Go take a hot shower, get dressed then come back here because we’re going to talk.”

I did just that, though my arms were blown out a lot more than I thought making the shower take longer than normal. Getting dressed was just as hard. Everyone was heading to the locker room as I went back to see the coach. He closed the door after I walked back into the weight room.

“Badzinski, you ever pull a stunt like that again I’ll beat your ass then make sure you finish the year at Patrick Henry.”

“I apologize coach. It was uncalled for, though there were some things that needed to be worked out.”

“I get that, just tell me that you need to blow some steam off next time.”

“No problem. Just so you know, beating my ass wouldn’t have been a walk in the park. You’d have needed to pack a lunch.” His laughing caught me off guard.

“Good to know. You’ve surprised the hell out of me as you’re a lot stronger than you look. Ever thought of playing football? I can use a defensive end or linebacker.”

“Nope. I’m too busy to play a game.”

After looking at me, he walked off shaking his head. “Get to your next class.”

As I was heading to Chemistry, the possible negative outcomes came drifting through my mind. Coming to a decision, I turned in the lobby of the gym and headed out the door into the parking lot.

Getting in my truck, I pulled out of the parking lot and steered the truck towards Bob’s office. Just like with the whole bogus assault ordeal with Dick, I needed to get ahead of this whole thing. There could be a host of legal and financial consequences if this whole scheme was allowed to come to fruition.

Walking into Bob’s office, he was talking to his secretary. As the door opened, his head turned.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in school right now?”

“You’re right, I should be in school, but ... well, there’s another fire starting that looks like it could turn into a forest fire if not dealt with. Though I believe that this has to be dealt with immediately.”

“OH LORD! Let’s go in my office and discuss this new situation.”

We sat down and began discussing the whole thing. Bob agreed that in theory this could bring about some shit that was definitely not good. He was somewhat concerned as to the damage this could do to my reputation.

I didn’t worry about that personally. Though in the late 90’s, McDonough was a two-stop light podunk town, and rumors and innuendo would travel through the town like shit through a goose. I wasn’t really worried about what the people living here thought of me as I was planning on leaving and not coming back.

One thing that Bob impressed on me was that this could affect security clearances. They would interview lots of people from my life, and all this stuff could negatively impact those. Now that worried me and that was something I couldn’t let happen.

We talked about the possibilities for about 45 minutes, then the subject changed.

“So, things are going in a positive direction with your supposed assault charge. Sheriff Dillion has removed Cpt. Powell and Detective Dolina from the investigation.”

“That’s great. So, it should be over quickly then?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Things are starting to go better. They’ll assign another detective who will have to start over though, re-interviewing the original witnesses and interviewing for the first time the names we gave them. So, we’re kind of back at square one for the moment.”

“Just great! Won’t this shit ever end? I just want to get through the next few months and get the hell out of here.”

“It’s going to take as long as it does. If it goes that long, to the point of jeopardizing your enlistment, there might be something I could do. Though we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that. I just want to do what I need to and enlist.”

“I get it and we’re going to do everything we can do to make that happen. As for this new issue, go to school, don’t antagonize anyone, and whatever you do, don’t get caught alone with Ellie.”

“Will do. I’m going to head home now and get my schoolwork done. That and figure out how to explain this whole thing to Mom.”

“Better you than me Barnim.”

We said our goodbyes and I went home. There was a note on the counter for me to cook dinner. I got my homework done along with some reading ahead. Mom got home and we sat down for dinner. I decided to skip the formalities and got the conversation started.

“So, you’re going to get a notice that I have an unexcused absence in 2 classes.”

“Excuse me?”

“I got some information that I had to act on. Getting Bob’s advice was crucial and time sensitive in my mind. It won’t affect my grades.”

“You sure as better hope it doesn’t or there will be hell to pay. So, what was it that you had to skip school to talk to Bob about?”

“It seems that Ellie has come up pregnant and is claiming that it’s mine.”

“You dumb bastard! I can’t believe after everything that’s happened; you’d do something so stupid.”

“Well, the name calling is unnecessary. Despite your obvious bias towards Ellie, I didn’t knock her up. The only person that it could be from my view is the idiot that she cheated on me with.”

“Well, I highly doubt that. Just like a typical male, not taking responsibility for their choices and actions.”

“Well, you can treat me like I’m my father, but that’s not going to change the fact it’s not my kid. I’ll fight that to my last dollar, just so she can’t get it. Though that won’t be necessary, cause a paternity test will prove my point.”

There was a pause, I leaned forward looking her in the eyes.

“Let me inform you of something Mother. You continue along this track for much longer and you won’t have to ever worry about me anymore for as long as I walk this earth.”

She was taken aback and was speechless. I used that as my opportunity to exit stage left. The rest of the night was spent in my room.

School on Thursday went by slowly, though I was glad that there were no more confrontations. A lot of looks were sent my way, most of disgust and loathing.

I had another conversation with the Blackwell twins as I was on my way to weightlifting again. I was pretty sure that they were in my camp on the whole ordeal. They were about the only ones that had any concern about how I was dealing with it. I made no excuse for my absence in my last two classes and made sure to pay extra attention.

Kickboxing was a really good time as everyone was in rare form, and Master Boripat and Mr. Singh were in an abnormally good mood. It was the first time I’d seen them goofing around and joking with all of us. Home was normal, and I pretty much stayed to myself.

School on Friday was the same as most normal days although there were some looks, and a couple of snide comments made in passing. I just let it slide off my back. These people were not going to affect my life.

I was sort of nervous walking to my truck, not knowing if someone was going to be waiting on me. The day was drama free as I went to work for a 4 1/2-hour workday.

It was a pretty nice and slow evening in the beginning, mostly restocking shelves. I was in the back moving some stuff to be ready for the next day when I could hear some yelling in the store area. As I got to the overhead door to the retail area, I recognized the new voice. What the fuck was Mr. Holt doing here, and he didn’t sound happy.

“Where the hell is that little bastard Badzinski?”

I was just about to step into the store and interject myself when Mr. Pope spoke.

“Sir, I have no clue who you are, but with that tone, you’re not going to speak with him. You need to go somewhere and cool down.”

I stepped into the store. I really wasn’t one for letting someone fight my battles.

“The little bastard is right here. Let’s take this out back so as not to disturb any customers might come in.” Mr. Pope got in the middle between us, I was looking over his shoulder staring at Mr. Holt.

“Sir, to be quite honest, he’d probably use you to mop the floor. Then when the cops show up, I’ll make sure they know you tried to assault a minor.”

Mr. Holt looked at me, the look on his face could have killed me all by itself. He went to leave, and I waited until he was at the door.

“Mr. Holt, when you get home you may want to ask Ellie about her new friend Dick. To be honest, that’s who knocked up your precious daughter, not me.” He looked at me and I heard him mumble “Bullshit” as he left.

Mr. Pope turned and looked at me asking what the hell just happened. I explained all the things that had been going on. I told him everything that had happened, including from my truck being vandalized, to the shit going on at school this week. His advice was to nip this shit in the bud as soon as possible.

We closed up a little early after all the drama, and Mr. Pope made a spectacle of walking me out to my truck in case Mr. Holt was waiting for me in the parking lot. I thanked him and drove home.

Mom was sitting at the table and it seemed she wanted to talk. I heard Ellie’s name and kept walking. I had all the drama I could stand today, so skipping dinner, I never left my room.

I got up for work early to avoid mom, though I’d have to deal with whatever she wanted to talk about last night sooner or later.

Mr. Pope showed up just after I did, and we were talking as we got everything ready to open.

“Barnim, you seem to be in quite a pickle, don’t you?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, you need to deal with that guy and soon.”

“Probably.” He shot me a look that I took as meaning I was a fucking idiot. The shaking of his head wasn’t inspiring.

“Well, you’re acting like an idiot. This is something that you’ll need to deal with. Meet the man and explain your point, what he does after you’ll just have to deal with when it happens. Just make sure you do it in a very public place.”

“I’ll think about it.”

I went about my day, trying to figure out what my next move was in this shitshow. Mr. Pope had a point. Mr. Holt would continue, and it would just get worse if I didn’t deal with it. I just kept thinking the same thing I had been for the last few weeks, why couldn’t this just end, and things get back to normal. Though with my family normal was a relatively loose term.

Walking into the house after work, mom was waiting on me. This was becoming par for the course.

“Don’t think that you’re getting out of having this conversation again.”

“Well, I am for right now. I have a phone call to make, then I need a shower. The only thing on my agenda this evening is to relax.”

“We need to talk.”

“Fine. Tomorrow after church. I’m done for the day.”

Going upstairs, I sat on the chair next to the table the phone sat on. Taking a minute to figure out how I wanted to do this, I picked up the phone. It rang till the answering machine picked up.

“This is Barnim, Mr. Holt. If you want to have a conversation, meet me at the soldier statue in the square Monday at 5:30PM. No need to RSVP. If you’re not there, I’ll consider this matter closed. Have a nice evening.”

Sunday morning didn’t change much from week to week. This morning was no different. Like most other Sundays, Mom wasn’t happy that I drove myself to church. I just did what I always did and zoned out during mass.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I decided that I was going to get some breakfast. It was time to treat myself, biscuits and gravy with dip eggs over it at the Blue Moon Cafe. Nothing makes me smile like some running egg yolks.

Walking in the house, Mom was waiting and began to brow beat me about where I’d been. So, this kicked off the argument that was coming.

“Look, I went and got something to eat. No big deal.”

“Well, you need to tell me where you’re going. I’m the adult in this house and your Mother. You’ll show me the respect due.”

“You’re absolutely right. It was inconsiderate of me not to inform you. It won’t happen again.”

I was tired of circular conversations, so I just told her what she wanted to hear. This caught her off guard and there were a couple of minutes where nothing was said. I had beat her to the punch.

“So, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about. OH wait, I already know.” The look on her face was worth it. I just continued straight into a diatribe.

“So, you’re going to tell me that I need to stop being an idiot, call her and get back together with her. More now than ever because she’s pregnant. Like I said before, that’s not going to happen now or anytime in the future. I didn’t get her pregnant and I think it’s hilarious that you are believing her over me.” I could see that hit home. She was thinking, but I kept going.

“I told you it was the guy that she cheated on me with, whether you want to admit it happened or gloss over it. I’ll preach it over and over, a paternity test will prove she’s a liar and a cheater. Along with that I’ll spend myself broke to keep from being financially or legally tied to that kid.”

I could see that it finally sunk in that I was dead serious and not going to let this go. Leaning forward she started. “Well...”

“I didn’t say I was done. You’ve really screwed up your relationship with me and your oldest children. The million-dollar question is this. Can you rebuild that relationship? I don’t know. It’s probably going to take a long time if it’s possible at all. All the 3 of us have is each other. How prophetic that statement has become. So, I believe that’s where we’re at. As such, I’ll be respectful and cordial around the house. I hear you mention that cheating Jezebel to me again, all bets are off.”

Her jaw dropped as I walked past, leaving the kitchen, and heading up to my room. Other than dinner, where Mom and I didn’t speak to each other, I remained in my room.

I made my morning run on Monday and remembered why as much as I hated running, I enjoyed the time in which I did it. No thinking, no worrying about all the shit going on unless I wanted to. I could just let my mind go blank, running with no cares.

Classes were going well, and my academic grades were good. It was my electives that were the highlight of my week. Auto shop was my favorite. I’d always been a lover of cars. I felt awesome as the lawn mower engine that I fixed roared to life. I wasn’t going to be a mechanic, I probably would enjoy it on an occasional, recreational basis. Though normal maintenance was something that I’d be fairly good at doing.

NJROTC was a good time, as I was using the time to make sure I learned as much stuff that I knew I would need to know and that made it enjoyable.