Jokes and Giggles Part Two
Copyright© 2017 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 81
Some weird thoughts from Phoenix
Don’t know if these are true but they’re fun to read.
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time ... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let’s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.” (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it)
A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hummm ... I won’t touch THAT one!)
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