Christmas Curse

by Todd_d172

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa, Fa/Fa, Lesbian, Heterosexual, Humor, Group Sex, Orgy, .

Desc: Humor Sex Story: The Merry Misadventures of the Christmas Cursed

I deliberately went in a completely different direction here, just to try some things. This has no connection to any other stories, and I probably should have held it to Christmas, but, what the hell, I could get run over by a bus or eaten by zombie armadillos before then. I typically don’t write graphic sex into most of my story lines, but that is not true of this particular one. This story contains a lot of very graphic solo, exhibitionism, toys, lesbian, straight, group and a bit of fantasy. It could fit in a lot of categories, but I think humor is the most consistent theme. Special thanks to Sbrook for the editing and Beta reading it for me. Any remaining errors are entirely mine -- probably added after his assistance. And thanks to everyone for the encouragement and support.

The Curse

JoAnne forced her way brusquely through the dense crowd toward the Thai place on the corner. Lord, she hated holiday shopping – screaming brats, the jarring sounds of ringing bells, the constant fucking “gimme, gimme, gimme” of the damn “charity” workers. As if they weren’t really there to guilt you into forking over the goddamn money. And all these fucking people just kept on bumping against her, wrinkling her $2000 black skirt and jacket power suit. Didn’t they have somewhere to be, didn’t people work anymore?!

Just as she broke free of the crowd, she half-ran-into and half-plowed-over a diminutive blonde girl in some kind of Christmas outfit, sending packages skittering across the frozen ground and knocking the mini-skirted kid on her ass. Great, what the fuck was a kid doing out in the middle of the day anyway ... JoAnne stopped. From the size of her boobs, this was no kid – a midget?

Crap, they used something else now, like small person or some shit...

The blonde glared at her through her skewed hair while she straightened her tilted elf hat for a second, then caught herself and smiled, although, honestly, it looked a little more like she was gritting her teeth. “Merry Christmas, huh?”

JoAnne rolled her eyes and started to walk on.

“Hey! Aren’t you going to help me get all this shit picked up?”

JoAnne looked over her shoulder at the flustered little blonde. “Fuck off, I’m busy” and pushed her way into the Restaurant. Finding her way to her usual seat, as she brushed her short, platinum blonde hair back, she sat and pointed at the waitress who immediately ran to the kitchen to get her order started and get her a damn drink. JoAnne pulled out her blackberry and started to pull up her emails – about 10 seconds later her system froze. Shit.

The chair across from her pulled out.

Without looking up, JoAnne growled. “I don’t need any company, and I need space to work. Fuck off.” Even with her cold demeanor, her pale skin, white blonde hair and blue eyes drew more attention than she’d ever wanted.

Nothing happened. When she looked up, the tiny honey blonde from outside was leaning back in the chair, staring at her with her arms crossed under her outsized boobs. She looked a like a distinctly adult-oriented version of an elf – long blonde hair, pointy ears, a micro-miniskirt and a huge rack that barely stayed in her costume. Despite the rosy cheeks and turned up nose, though, the twinkle in her eyes looked extremely icy.

JoAnne sighed. Oh well, if the little bitch wanted to be a problem, she’d have her thrown out. She started to look around for a waiter, then realized nobody was moving. Nobody at all. Inside or in the vast crowd outside. No sound. Everything was frozen. She looked back at the girl, who slowly arched her left eyebrow in an overly dramatic fashion.

“Look Sister, I’d tell you not to do anything stupid, but that would be wasted effort. You can’t do anything, you’re stuck in that chair until I say otherwise. Elf. Christmas. Magic. Bitch.”

JoAnne started to protest, but her mouth simply froze as the Elf raised her hand.

“Don’t bother. This isn’t a dream. You didn’t fall and hit your head. You haven’t even had a drink today yet. And it sure as fuck-all wasn’t that nasty bran concoction you had for breakfast. On your salary you eat sawdust for breakfast? Fuck, eat a good breakfast and spend five more minutes on the damn elliptical.”

She waved her hand and JoAnne found she could speak again. “Look if you want an apology...”

The Elf cut her off again “It wouldn’t be sincere and you wouldn’t learn a god damn thing. Don’t bullshit me, Baby, I’m a whole lot older than I look. Besides, I have your file.”

She leaned back, reached two fingers into her ample cleavage and pulled out an ornate, gilt edged scroll, untied it and began to read over it: “Let’s see ... JoAnne Steadmann, age 32. No personal relationships. Wow, that sucks. You seem to have a severe case of Greed, brought on by a Self-Centered Nature and a Lack of Human Empathy, which seems to have developed around puberty...” Her voice trailed off as she read more.

Then: “Damn!? You’re Frigid? No Orgasms? No wonder you’re a grade-A Bitch! Hell, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone! Got your cherry popped in High School, but didn’t enjoy it at all. And you didn’t even experiment at Wellesley? Damn that’s like the lickety-slit capitol of the world. You missed out on a whole lot of the sweet stuff there, Baby.”

JoAnne just glared at her. Whatever the hell this was about, the little blonde bitch had no right digging into her personal life.

“On the bright side you’re not entirely freaked out by this, and that’s rarer than you think. Too many people have lost belief in Christmas magic; they can lose it completely when shit like this happens. You’re pretty enough in platinum-blonde-career bitch sore of way. And, according to Records Division, you never developed any real sex aversions, so that’s good...”

Shaking her head, the Elf hastily re-rolled the scroll, tucked it back between her oversized boobs, then leaned forward looking intently into JoAnne’s eyes. “I can fix this – but I have to follow the rules. I’m not allowed to just go around helping humanity – free will and all that shit. But I can inflict a Christmas lesson on you because you denied the True Meaning of Christmas. You were rude. To an Elf. Within the Fortnight of Christmas.”

JoAnne leaned back in shock. “Is this going to be one of those ghosts things? I...”

The Elf shook her head “Ghosts wouldn’t help you at all.” She paused. “God, I love that one, it’s a classic but it won’t work here. I am giving you the gift of Lust. I am removing most of your inhibitions – the sexual ones anyway and ‘cursing’ you so that at least once a day until Midnight on Christmas Eve, you’re going to find yourself in a situation that ends up in sex of some kind or other. Nothing dangerous, nothing that will destroy your life. You may end up feeling a little used and a bit humiliated, but you’ll like it. Besides, a little humility would do you a lot of good, Sunshine.”

JoAnne felt her anger flare “Nobody uses...” And just as quickly found herself muted as the Elf stood up.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road, I’ve got some fucking Joy to spread by the end of the day. Gimme the panties, you won’t be needing them.”

JoAnne tried to resist, but found herself standing, reaching under her skirt and pulling off her black silk underwear and handing them over.

She watched in disgust as the little Elf held them up to her nose and breathed in deeply. The Elf shook her head sadly and looked at JoAnne. “Nothing. Just Fabric softener and soap. You really are Frigid. I’m fixing that right now.”

She stepped over to JoAnne and reached up under her skirt. JoAnne felt the Elf’s very warm hand cup her crotch.

The Elf looked her in the eye “Damn. Closed up tighter than a bank vault.” She rubbed her palm back and forth for a second. “Ah, there it is!” JoAnne’s knees nearly gave out and she almost fell to the ground as she felt something hot surge through her whole body, but the Elf steadied her and guided her back into her seat.

As Joanne watched, the Elf licked her fingertips delicately. “Much better.”

“That was your First Orgasm. It’s been sort of stuck in the gate for a damn long time. It was a little weak from the time attenuation, so the next time it will feel better.”

JoAnne stiffened. “B ... better?”

“More powerful, longer.”

JoAnne couldn’t even imagine that. The Elf continued on without really noticing JoAnne’s reaction.

“Here’s the deal, you get a little something every day, each day gets a little more extreme and a little more intense. I’ve used this one a lot – it was practically standard in Vicki’s day – Queen Victoria. It will be a real experience, but you can handle it. Still, if it gets to be too much, call my name three times – its ‘Holly Mistletoe” and I’ll pop in to help. If you really need it.”

Suddenly, with a sound like a balloon popping in reverse, Holly was gone and everything was in motion. The waitress rushed up with her drink – which she drank in one gulp - and her food arrived almost immediately. She managed to catch her breath and tried to act normal, although she just didn’t have it in her to bitch at the waitress for being too slow like she usually did. She even caught herself leaving a much larger tip than usual. She must be shaken up.

The Tattoo

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Story tagged with:
Ma/Fa / Fa/Fa / Lesbian / Heterosexual / Humor / Group Sex / Orgy /