“Jerry, why are we at a tittie bar?” I asked.
Jerry was one of those guys that’s kind of a douche, but basically ok. We’ve been buddies since high school, so I’m mostly used to his bullshit.
Usually, we meet the guys and go get a couple beers at Dan-n-Dave’s over on Water Street, but tonight he said he wanted to take me someplace different. Which was weird since we aren’t that close and neither of us is queer.
“This ain’t just some tittie bar, dude!” He leered. “Trust me. Look, my boss got passes for the upper level, but he can’t use ‘em. So, he gave them to me. So, this a classy place, right? So, I wanted to bring the only guy I know with any class.” Jerry grinned. “But he was busy, so I had to bring you.”
“Oh - ha ha? Ha ha? I see what you did there. Funny guy.”
“Relax, dude. Trust me.”
The line moved slowly, giving us plenty of time to look at the pictures of wings and cheese fries - which I really doubted was the reason anyone was here.
At the desk, a woman with impressively large tits squeezed into a surprisingly small shirt checked our ID. Jerry gave her the passes. She glared at him.
“Where did you get these?”
“Sure. So who’s your boss?”
“Look, I work for Levit & Stone. My boss got them as a gift from the VP of Sales over at BGR. Who he got ‘em from, I don’t know.”
“Uh-huh. Stay put.” She got up from the desk. Her tits were nicely counterbalanced by her ass.
When she returned, it was with a woman in a cowhide bikini top and a belly revealing mini skirt. Her tits were so tiny, I thought they were inverted except that her nipples were clearly visible through the thin fabric.
“Thank you gentlemen for waiting,” she had one of those throaty I-scream-when-I-come voices. “My name is Bessie. Please follow me.” She handed us black plastic cards and went in a door beside the one everyone else was using.
We got in an elevator. There were only two buttons. I tried to remember how tall the building was, but honestly, I hadn’t look up.
“Have you gentlemen been with us before?”
“No.” I chuckled.
“I see.” She smiled warmly. “I do hope you enjoy your visit. We are affiliated with the bar downstairs, however, Tops serves a more specific clientele. We do understand that some people like a bit of colorful language, but we ask that in general you be respectful.”
“Of course.” Jerry lied.
“You may order by the sip, by the glass, or by the bottle, and each item is priced by the breed. Mr. Grant is one of our most beloved patrons. It was very generous of him to give you our highest gift card.”
“Did he?” Jerry glanced at me and grinned.
Bessie went on. “As you may have guessed, I am still in training, therefore there is no charge for my services. If you would like a sample. We have another minute or two before we arrive.”
She untied her top and exposed the biggest nipples I have ever seen on anything, anywhere ever. They were like those novelty pencil erasers.
And they were wet.
“Please.” She moaned. “I need someone to suck them.”
Jerry hesitated about a second, and then dove on her. She gasped and then moaned like she actually meant it about needing it.
Her eyes were fluttering as she looked at me.
I was torn between the presence of Jerry, the weirdness of sucking a nipple I just met, and the boner that popped when her top dropped. Then I just did it.
It was hard. And sort of creamy. And she moaned like she was going to come any second. Her fingers rubbed through my hair.
“ ... yes ... yes ... oh ... bit it ... bit my nips ... ah! Oh! Yes!”
She shook, and I heard the door open. I pulled away from her, hoping no one saw us.
There was a host stand, like at most restaurants, but the man and the woman standing there either didn’t see Jerry sucking Bessie’s tit, or they didn’t care. They were both wearing the same cowhide bikini top and matching miniskirt.
“Guys.” I prodded Jerry.
He pulled away from her with a wet pop. Her nipple was coated with spit. Her belly button was coated with jizz. Classy guy, Jerry is.
Bessie smiled like she’d had a good one. “Thank you for your service. I’ll be here at the front desk if you need any assistance. Elsie, do we have a table ready for these gentlemen?”
Elsie looked more like who you expect at a tittie bar, with jugs the size of, well, jugs.
“Hey, your name tag says ‘training’ too.” Jerry stared at Elsie’s jugs. “Can we suck you for free, too?”
“Oh, I’m sorry sir. Training services are allowed in the elevator only. When you are finished for the evening, I would be happy to escort you to the main door and you may train me then.”
“Oh hell yeah!”
“Excellent.” She smiled like he didn’t say something sleazy. “As you noticed, breed is noted on our name tags. We do ask that you not bite or pull excessively unless requested. And if an item is unavailable, please forgive us. If you put your card in this slot, your current balance will display here.”
I put the black card in the slot. The display read ‘$.$$’.
“Oh. My.” Elsie’s smile grew brighter. “Well. So when you would like an item, they will swipe their tag,” she had one on her wrist, “and the proper rate will show on the display.” TRNG appeared. “If you approve, tap the display.”
Jerry tapped it. A counter started. She dropped her top.
“They’re all yours, honey. When you’ve had enough, tap the display again.”
She twisted her nipples. “Please bite or pull excessively.”
“Oh shit!” Jerry latched on like he’d never seen a tit before.
I looked around. There were a couple men and a lot of women walking around in miniskirts and bikini tops. Black, white, Asian; the staff was pretty mixed. Some of them were actually serving food or drinks.
Most, however, were having their tits sucked by horny older guys.
“Good evening.” A warm voice surprised me as I was watching a woman let the customer put his hand under her skirt while he sucked. “May I get you anything?”
Daisy, Mature, the name tag read. I admit I stared for a minute because the tag didn’t connect to the face. Mature? Not really, more early twenties, maybe. That, and ‘Daisy’ was a dude.
A dude with tits. He was a pretty guy, one of the ones that probably gets accused of being gay all the time. And his chest was hairless, which helped keep my lunch down. But those weren’t just big pecs. Those were tits.
“Uh, yeah. Can I get a beer?”
“Of course. Preference?” He pointed to the menu.
I picked something, and he headed off, and I felt really uncomfortable.
I’m not a big tit guy. More precisely, I’m not a fan of really big tits. Elsie, who was still entertaining Jerry, was a total turn off for me. But Daisy was perfect. A bit more than a handful. A true mouthful.
But that whole dick thing.
Something chimed and Elsie groaned. “Sir, I am so sorry, but I’m being requested at the front desk.” She pulled away from Jerry and I could see spit dripping from both of her swollen tits before she re-tied her top. She tapped the display. “This records the item name and breed so that if you enjoyed something, you may try something similar. Thank you.” She hurried off.
“Oh shit! This place is awesome!” Jerry was giddy.
Daisy appeared with my beer. His top had obvious giant wet spots over a pair of nipples that seemed to be hard enough to tear a hole.
“Sorry for the delay. I had to fill two glasses. Good evening, sir. May I get you something?”
“Oh, yeah, uh same as he got. Hey, let me ask you something.” Jerry leaned in. “You guys. What’s the deal? You just the waiters, or do you get a lot of chicks in this place or what?”
“Ah.” Daisy smiled. The whole staff seemed to smile a lot. “We have a few female guests. Most patrons have their favorites, but some guests sample from a variety.”
“You ever get a shot with the girls?”
“Well, we all assist each other, especially during training. But once we are classified as Premier, we spend all of our time with you all. I’ll go get your drink.”
“Dude!” Jerry hissed across the table. “Did you hear that? I’ll bet he is totally bonin’ one of these babes!”
I didn’t reply - and Jerry didn’t care - because at the table in front of us a woman with tits the size of my truck tires started filling two glasses at the table.
With breast milk.
Tits. Cows. The whole theme suddenly became clear.
She replaced her top when she was done, and then let the guy at the table suck her tits through the fabric.
When she turned around, she had the same big dark wet spots that Daisy had.
Annabelle came over and Jerry sucked on her. Then he sucked on Chestnut, Lulu, and Buttercup.
“You don’t seem to be having as much fun as your friend.” Chestnut delivered another beer as Jerry sucked like a baby from Dixie.
Chestnut actually was a good size. Not too round, not too big. Another pair of visible nips. She was tagged as ‘Ripe’. She had wet spots.
“So, uh, the groups...” I started.
.... There is more of this story ...