Chapter 9

Three months later...

“Welcome to all of you, who have come to share in this important moment in the lives of Sarah and David. I ask you to join together in celebrating, acknowledging, and honoring this day and the vows that they will be making. By your presence, you witness and affirm the truth of their love and commitment to each other,” the rabbi welcomed the congregation to witness our nuptials in the synagogue.

“Do you, David, take Sarah to be your wife, promising to cherish and protect her, whether in good fortune or in adversity, and to seek together with her a life hallowed by the faith of Israel?” the rabbi inquired of me, though clearly still worried about what to expect from this goy marrying a young Jewish lady.

“I do,” I beamed.

I was more than happy to marry Sarah in her tradition since I no longer had a house of worship in mine that I trusted. I had firmly decided never to attend that church while Pastor Myers was the shepherd of that flock. Everything about that man disgusted me, the prig, bully, and hypocrite that he was.

“Do you, Sarah, take David to be your husband, promising to cherish and protect him, whether in good fortune or in adversity, and to seek together with him a life hallowed by the faith of Israel?”” Rabbi Morton Schulman asked my blushing bride as she prepared to take my ex’s place as my wife.

“I do,” Sarah choked back tears as she answered.

“Please exchange the rings now, as a token of your love and commitment to each other,” the rabbi now encouraged us.

“With this ring, I thee wed and take thee to wife, certain that all I have and am are thine,” I told Sarah as she wept a little more and I placed the wedding band on her ring finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed and take thee to husband, certain that all I have and am are thine,” Sarah replied as she put the ring on my own hand.

“And now by the power vested in me by the State of Ohio, it is my honor and delight to declare you married. Go forth and live each day to the fullest. You may seal this declaration with a kiss. I am so pleased to present the newlyweds,” the rabbi informed us as Sarah leaned in closer for a deep and passionate kiss.

Sure, we had carried out Sarah’s threat and married as quickly as we could arrange it after my divorce went through. Well, that was my ex’s doing now, wasn’t it? She had served me with divorce papers, through none other than Sarah, and now I had married the process server. It was a good thing that she hadn’t attended, of course, given that she likely would have disturbed the wedding. Then again, she was probably bent over and taking it balls deep from Pastor Myers, I thought with a smirk. The man really was a pig. I wondered how much his wife knew about their extramarital affair.

Sarah’s mother was still a bit wary of this significantly older man who had taken her daughter to wife, of course. Then again, at least I had married her daughter instead of just shacking up with her, and so any children we had would be Jewish by their mother’s tradition. At least I had honored her customs and faith, even to the point of breaking the wedding glass.

“Mazel tov!” the whole congregation shouted after the glass broke under my foot.

“So, now I have a son-in-law pretty damn close to my age. That will take some getting used to, to put it rather mildly,” Sarah’s mother, Rachel, commented as she embraced me in spite of her misgivings.

I wasn’t sure if Sarah’s instincts were really correct about her mother until the embrace lingered a bit more than expected. We tried to break free, or rather I did, until Sarah walked toward us and clasped us in a group hug, to which Curtis and Stephanie rushed to add themselves. Rachel suddenly broke down for some reason, but held onto me tightly.

For a forty-three year old woman, Rachel Weiss was in very good shape and I could tell that she had taken great care of herself until recently. It was the divorce that had disturbed her healthy routine and caused her to pay less attention to wellness than in the past. She wanted so badly to get over Howard, but it was very tough on her. She was a lovely lady, no doubt of that. She just needed to cut loose of some of the taboos that held her back. I had no trouble with her religion, just with the traditional morals that seemed so backward of late.

I lightly touched her face and then led the way as the group parted to let us through. I took my new mother-in-law along with my wife, son, and daughter to the reception nearby, where everyone was eager to greet us. They were a little surprised to see Sarah’s mother so close to us, of course. Sarah and I greeted everyone very warmly, including many whom I never met, but I touched Rachel’s hand discreetly as she kept the tears out of her eyes with my handkerchief.

It was perhaps a little strange, as was the way that I kept my family near as we dug into the food and drink at the refreshment table. All that anyone seemed to think was that I was very kind to my bride’s mom, who had recently been through such a traumatic divorce. It actually scored me some brownie points with many in the congregation at Beth Judah, the synagogue that Rachel and Sarah had always attended for Sabbath and high holy days.

“You are a very sweet man, you know. Not that many would be so nice to a mother-in-law of a young bride that he only met months ago. Sorry, that came across wrong. It’s just that not so many guys that I ever knew married someone so much younger and the stereotype is always, well, you know. Not as nice as you clearly seem to be. Certainly not so kind,” a middle-aged woman who bore some resemblance to Sarah and Rachel told me.

“Thank you, anyway, Aunt Miriam! Trust me, David is an amazing guy, as you can see,” Sarah told her auntie, who quickly embraced her niece and her sister in turn.

“And these must be your children ... all fully grown and everything! Such a handsome young man and a delightful young lady, I can see! Such sweet, lovely faces, too!” Miriam waxed a lot more charming as she recovered from her social faux pas.

“They are. These are my twins. My son, Curtis, and my daughter, Stephanie. I’m very proud of both of them! Do you have any kids?” I asked her.

“Oh, Aunt Miriam has a brood! My cousins, Richard, Robert, Esther, Mordechai, Naomi, Eve, Ruth, and Boaz. Eight brats! I kid you not! You saw them at the wedding!” Sarah rattled off their names with pride.

“That’s my sister! One fertile Myrtle! I just have my Sarah, but she is very precious to me!” Rachel smiled as she kissed me lightly on the cheek, “and you have clearly seen her value, so I have to applaud your excellent taste!”

“Like mother, like daughter, I can see!” I flattered Rachel, making her blush a bit.

“As long as it’s not like father, anyway,” Miriam snorted.

“Now, sis, it’s not polite to speak poorly of Sarah’s father. At least not to her face,” Rachel made an attempt to lighten the mood with a joke.

“It’s okay. There’s a reason that I’m a Weiss ... sorry, was a Weiss, not a Dell. Now I’m a Morgan, of course. Sarah Weiss Morgan. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? He’s a great guy, my David. Truly wonderful! And I adore his children!” Sarah added.

“Your children now, you know. Well, stepchildren, even if they are almost your age!” Rachel reminded her.

“Well, we couldn’t ask for a better stepmom, trust me. And we will be very good to her, I swear!” Curtis reassured his step-grandmother.

“I couldn’t have said it better myself, bro!” Stephanie agreed, “we already love Sarah, very much!”

“Wow, that’s truly impressive! But if anyone could pull that off, it’s our Sarah! Most stepmothers, particularly so young, don’t get that kind of warm welcome, do they?” Miriam shrewdly replied.

Just then, the photographers wanted to take pictures of Sarah and me, Sarah and Rachel, Sarah, Rachel and me, the twins and me, Sarah and the twins, Sarah, the twins, and me, and of course, Sarah, Rachel, the twins, and me. In other words, a full family portrait on that one, well, minus Howard. Then again, he was persona non grata with his ex-wife and daughter, let alone with me.

Then, of course, it was time for the toasts, which were given by several family members, even my best man, Curtis, though he couldn’t actually drink any wine. Yeah, my twin son was my best man, even if he had to give his toast with sparkling grape juice. A couple of other groomsmen gave their toasts, one of them Sarah’s cousin Richard, the other one being Dr. Clive Halsey, a soft-spoken fellow from New Hampshire, who taught postwar (that’s post Civil War) American history in my department. To tell the truth, he sorta reminded me of President Jed Bartlet from the West Wing in some ways. Before you ask, Stephanie was one of the bridesmaids, even if not the maid of honor (that spot was already earmarked by Sarah’s cousin Esther).

Then, of course, we cut the wedding cake, Sarah and I, and she made a point of licking the frosting off my lips after feeding me my piece. I gladly returned the favor, which only made some folks blush and others laugh. Some even said things like “awww” and “oooh,” perhaps because it seemed so mushy. It was a splendid cake, of course, with a nice minty icing and a groom with a beard (because I had one). Frankly, the bride on the cake looked young enough to be the groom’s daughter, which was perhaps the point. It might have even been a joke.

Several hours passed, involving even more photographs, a decent, if kosher lunch, a lot of mints and nuts, and a bit of dancing, including a very romantic slow dance between Sarah and me to the strains of Billy Joel’s “Just The Way You Are.” Many well-wishes later, of course, we led a still very emotional Rachel out of the building and I took the five of us to Shoney’s, of all places. I just hoped that they had food that two kosher Jews (okay, really only one, because Sarah was only kosher half of the time of late) could eat. As it turned out, though, I needn’t have worried.

“I hope that I picked well. I’m still not sure what restaurants serve acceptable fare to someone on a kosher diet. I mean, well, how do I put this?” I stammered a little, but Rachel put me at ease.

“To be perfectly frank, my dear boy, I don’t always keep as kosher as I really should, given my upbringing and how I brought Sarah up. Sure, the kitchen was kosher as we raised her, but well, Howard hated that way of life and it was one of many things that drove us apart. I won’t lie. I feared the same thing for Sarah, but it appears that she is just naughty enough to keep her goy husband, unlike me.

“Still, Howard corrupted me in some ways, getting me to try some things that I hid from my parents in turn. Miriam would never understand, so I never told her, but I picked up a taste for some treif. Not all treif, but some treif. I just never let it into the house. There were other things, of course. Not all of them religious, either. Howard frankly just couldn’t bend at all, though I tried to please him when I could. I wasn’t perfect, though. I picked my share of fights. Still, it hurts. It hurts a lot,” Rachel confessed while we perused the menu.

“Thank you ... for trusting me with your secrets, Rachel. Have you gone back to Weiss or are you still Rachel Dell? Or should I call you something else?” I wondered.

“Call me ‘Mom.’ I’m your mother-in-law now. Even if we are almost the same age. And no, I haven’t gone back to Weiss. That was Sarah’s thing. Her way of sticking it to her old man. She’s likely to remain angry at him for how he treated me. She’s very fierce in defending me, you know. And for now, I believe that I will be bad and have the clam chowder. One of the treif foods that did appeal to me,” Rachel smiled as she made her decision and walked to the soup and salad bar.

“What a woman, your mother! Are you sure about ... you know?” I asked Sarah, who nodded firmly.

“Hell, yeah! She deserves the best ... and that is you. It’s just meant to be. Now, I don’t know how we’re going to seduce her, but we are damn well going to seduce my mother!” Sarah winked at my twins as she said that.

“We?” I asked.

“Yes, we. The four of us can do this. Together. Working as a team. By the time that we’re done, she’ll putty in our hands. And she’ll be in our bed. Unless you want to hoard her for yourself, that is,” Sarah licked her lips impishly.

“Oh, no, I’m more than happy to share my good fortune. I just hadn’t expected such ... a forward-thinking proposal. I suppose that I should have, though. You are a wildcat when you wish to be,” I told her with a fiery kiss.

“I’m a ginger. What do you expect?” Sarah told me while slipping me a lot of tongue.

She was still in her bridal gown and well, it was pretty obvious that we were newlyweds, so no one thought too much of us making out like bandits. I reached my right hand under the table and began playing with her ass through her gown. My left hand stroked her crotch for a little bit before we broke off the kiss and rose to go to the soup and salad bar. Curtis and Stephanie had already left by now to grab their soups or salads, so we were the stragglers.

“Minestrone?” Sarah suggested.

“Sounds good. The same for you?” I asked her.

“Sure, why not?” she winked at me as we filled our bowls and headed back to the table.

Not surprisingly, we almost ran into Rachel as we headed back. She laughed nervously as we walked toward the table and I saw the shape of her hips as well as the outline of her ass. The woman was quite attractive as mothers-in-law went. She certainly beat my ex’s mother hands down in that department, which was no shock given that Rachel was closer to my ex’s age herself.

“So, you’ve had a good look at what Sarah will be when she’s my age. Not scared off, I hope,” Rachel joked awkwardly.

“Definitely not! I had other thoughts come to mind, most of them rather perverted,” I winked at her.

I halfway expected Rachel to recoil in horror or gasp or whatever, but instead, she blushed and fanned herself as if very hot. Sarah laughed and the twins joined her in that mirth, causing the mood to lighten more than a little. Sarah then planted a very wet kiss on my lips again as Curtis and Stephanie pointed at us and laughed.

“Dad, you stud!” Curtis teased me, only half in jest, of course.

“Yeah, Dad, Sarah, get a room!” Stephanie snickered.

“Might need a room for three!” Rachel stunned us with that joke, “at least at the rate that he keeps charming the pants off me!”

“Wow, Mom!” Sarah nearly spewed out her iced tea, “just leave something for me, since I’m the bride!”

“Oh, stop!” I teasingly slapped my bride’s bottom.

Rachel’s left eyebrow raised a little when she saw that and especially after Sarah blushed. It was pretty clear that we were very frisky with each other and that Rachel was more than a little aroused. She more than confirmed that by squirming in her seat and biting her lower lip as she watched us together. Curtis and Stephanie tried not to be too obvious about their own highly stimulated condition, but Sarah and I both picked up on it, even if Rachel didn’t.

We continued eating the appetizer for a while and everyone teased each other in the process. Sarah in particular cracked a number of jokes about bedroom activities, just to push the envelope and test her mother’s response. Instead of acting outraged, Rachel played along and the twins needled us about the possibilities. The real acid test was when Sarah went for broke with her best risque joke of all.