Chapter 1: The Crucial Years
Caution: This Coming of Age Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including mt/ft, Romantic, Heterosexual, True Story, Safe Sex, Nudism, .
Desc: Coming of Age Sex Story: Chapter 1: The Crucial Years - This is based on a true story of a father's account of the Naturist adventures of his son from the time he was born to his wedding. It spans the period 1982-2005, and is meant to be a memoir to be shared and appreciated by the grandkids. The real names of the characters and places were altered. Considering that photos cannot be posted, some literary license was used to reveal personalities, unfold scenes, and give life to a narrative which otherwise might seem too much like a documentary.
The famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright once wrote, “Inside the cramped space of the city, one is forced to confront oneself, to figure out who to be and how to be it, from the inside out.”
This is a story about our son Danny and how he gave meaning to those words. We had moved to the Big City where I took on a position with a consulting and accounting firm to head up an international tax department. Prior to our move, we lived on the outskirts of a small town, where Danny was born on a sunny day in December of 1982, and grew up.
As soon as Danny was potty trained and free of diapers, he wanted to be clothes free, or naked. Our house in Smallville was at the end of a cul-de-sac with a large backyard and neighbors on both sides who we hardly ever saw coming or going. Danny’s mother had become a stay-at-home-mom after he was born and she allowed him to freely roam naked both inside and outside the house. By the time he was three, Danny had full run of the house, naked all the time. She thought it was cute to see a mini-version of me based on a couple of photos my mother took when I was little and also ran around naked. I thought of it as a birthright, the natural right by virtue of one’s humanity to live free of clothes wherever it felt comfortable and was mutually accepted.
Danny’s urge to be free from the constraints and the “funny” feel of clothing often manifested itself beyond the home. Most often, by the time we reached a destination, Danny had wriggled himself out of his clothes in the back seat of the car and sat there casual, natural and nonchalantly, without a concern in the world completely naked from head to toe. He knew he couldn’t get out of the car to go into a store without his clothes on, and it was a struggle every time.
When he figured out how to open the faucet and control the water temperature of the tub and shower, Danny spent a lot of time there as well as a lot of water. We had an 8-foot ring inflatable pool for him in the backyard, but that wasn’t enough for Danny. We would have understood his enthusiastic need to live like a duck had he been born under the sign of Aquarius. But, he was a Sagittarius.
Danny was a curious little boy. Even before he went to kindergarten, he already wanted to know things like how many stars were up in the sky. We bought him a telescope that he could also use to “spy” on things down here on earth.
One bright summer day, a moving van arrived at the house next door and moments later the new neighbors came to introduce themselves. The couple was in their early 30’s and they had a little girl of 4 – Becky – the same age as Danny. We always told Danny that when someone came to the door he should put on some shorts or underwear or at least wrap a towel around him. But on that day in all the excitement, Danny forgot about shorts and towels, and so did we. The neighbors appeared not to notice that Danny was naked, but Becky stood at the door frozen like a statue, thrown into a trance. Her eyes became as wide as the size of quarters, her jaw dropped and her mouth fell open with a look of surprise, fascination and disbelief all bundled together.
Several days passed. Danny used his telescope to peak through the bushes to try to get a glimpse of Becky. We found out later that she was trying, too. Danny would sometimes see her in her backyard, wearing nothing but pink undies. He would go into our backyard, making all sorts of noises to get her attention. It finally paid off one day when Becky crawled through an opening between some bushes that divided the two backyards. Danny was thrilled and called her over to play in the pool. Becky didn’t hesitate. She took off her clothes and jumped right in.
From that day on, the backyard was their world where they played or did all sorts of fun activities - in the nude, of course. They played house, cowboys and Indians, slaying imaginary dragons, and every game kids love to play with their creative little minds.
Becky’s parents and we quickly became very good friends and for our kids’ sake, we decided to remove the fence and overgrown bushes that separated our backyards. Instantly, the two yards became one huge playground, as well as a place where we all got together for an occasional evening dinner or weekend barbecue. Becky spent as much time at our home as Danny did at theirs, eating meals and sometimes staying for sleepovers. It was exciting to watch them interact and play together like compatible soulmates.
It was fascinating to see how indifferent they were to seeing each other naked. Nevertheless, it wasn’t long that we and Becky’s parents felt it necessary to have an age-appropriate conversation about the specific physical attributes of boys and girls, and the correct words for these parts; no slang or misnomers. We strongly felt that the way kids grow up to think and feel about their bodies depends on how and what they are taught by their parents before they go to school. Kids belong to humanity and it’s important for them to accept and appreciate the beauty of the human body – male and female. The moms decided to do this together one rainy afternoon when Danny and Becky were trapped inside the house. They listened, looked and pointed, but quickly became bored with the anatomical lesson.
Despite having learned the right terms, Becky thought that Danny’s “thingy” looked cute, especially the way it wiggled. Sometimes she could see his “peanuts,” but they were mostly shriveled up and out of sight. I guess girls are wired to notice details, as well as being more empathetic because she was always worried about them getting crushed between his legs.
Danny, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care that Becky looked different. She was his companion to romp around and play with all day. That’s all that mattered to him, that’s where his focus was.
We also admired how ambivalent they were to some of the differences that were taking shape on their bodies. Like all boys his age, it was natural for Danny to get an unexpected erection. He was clueless why his penis would get stiff and point straight like an arrow. We told him that it was a sign that he was healthy and to expect it to happen more often as he grew older. He appeared to be cool as a cucumber with the pomp and circumstances down below, never feeling awkward or embarrassed, or the need to hide his “stiffy.” It was my impression that he wasn’t even aware when his penis would rise to full attention.
At first, Becky would just giggle at the sturdy effect and the thought that his “boy part” could put on such a display. However, that did not change or affect the way they played or did their homework together. Their special bond was their friendship and happiness of completing each other in a truly innocent and pure way.
They were excited with the prospect of going to Kindergarten and sharing the experience together, but not too keen on having to wear clothes. We told Danny he had to keep his on while at school, otherwise they wouldn’t let him in and be with Becky. He understood the seriousness of the situation and promised to follow the rules. However, as soon as they got home, they couldn’t get out of their clothes fast enough.
They were 8 years old, only a few weeks away from going to the third grade. Becky insisted that their mothers take her and Danny to buy new school clothes. She wanted to give her opinion on what Danny should wear so that they would look like they belonged together. He didn’t object to the idea and both mothers were more than happy to oblige. Danny and Becky ended up going together into the same changing room to put on their matching outfits and then model them for their mothers’ approval. That was the last big moment they shared together before the winds of change disrupted their happy world.
“ ... mothers feel a tug at their insides, watching their children grow...” ― Jodi Picoult
The day we had to move was a sad one for Danny and Becky. They had spent 4 years together; attended Kindergarten, first and second grades together; and shared a special friendship unlike most other children.
If Danny felt constrained in his clothes, he felt confined and constricted in the Big City. He missed his backyard, his freedom and his companionship with Becky. He was indifferent to the new sights and sounds. Most of the time, he was gloomy like the sky in the Big City. Despite all this, Danny didn’t give up on his preference to be clothes free just because of a change in location and conditions.
Over time, he adjusted to his new circumstances and seemed to be coming out from under the cloud. As soon as he walked through the door when he got back from school, Danny would strip off all his clothes and head straight for the shower. It was like a ritual to cleanse himself of the city. He would even brush his teeth to feel as fresh as a daisy inside and out. When he emerged from the bathroom, he was a different boy altogether, cheerful and sunny.
He also took on a new habit. Before going to bed, he would spend a long time taking a warm bath in the bath tub. It may have been a substitute for his backyard pool. He felt snug. The water enveloped him like a long, tender embrace. Whether coming out of the shower or the bathtub, Danny would sometimes emerge with an erect or semi-erect penis that took a while to ease back down. We were so used to seeing Danny like that occasionally. We felt fortunate and proud seeing him naked since the day he was born, seeing him grow and being healthy. We were also glad that he felt comfortable and no shame being naked around us. To begin with, shame as an emotional condition towards nudity was just not a value within our family.
For years, Danny slept naked. Even though he was getting older, his mom would often go to his room to make sure he was properly covered, hoping to catch a glimpse of his bare bums. She said they looked like the yokes of the eggs she would make for him for breakfast – round, plump, smooth and shiny.
If he was lying on his bed with his legs bent and knees apart, she would also marvel at the size and shape of his testicles. They sometimes reminded her of small hard boiled eggs or kidney beans albeit about 10 times larger. Maybe that explains why she started serving white kidney beans with salads and soups.
Most mornings when she would wake him up to go to school, she often found him with his penis semi-erect, flipped over backward on his abdomen, or stiff with “morning wood.” Either way, she said it looked like those beefy, Ball Park hot dogs which she loved to make for his afternoon snacks. I believe Danny ended up eating a lot of them.
During a conversation, it’s one thing to say in passing to a child that he or she has cute dimples or big feet. It’s a compliment, a positive comment to show that there’s something special about him or her. It’s a way to reinforce their self-awareness and self-esteem without embarrassing or making them feel awkward. When it comes to their “private parts,” it’s often better not to say anything unless it’s in the context of the whole body and it should never be negative or demeaning, but stay matter-of-fact, neither joking nor inappropriate.
Even if it’s funny, it’s best not to make fun of or joke about their sexuality. In Danny’s case, when he was sporting an erection, we’d say things like, “You look cheerful. What’s on your mind?” “You’re looking well today. It’s gotta be the vegetables!” “Boy, you sure are growing fast.” In the long run, Danny associated an erection with happiness, health and positive growth.
His mother, on the other hand, sometimes couldn’t contain herself and would make cautionary comments, typical of mothers, like “Be careful not to bump into the furniture!”
I’d like to think that positive comments such as these helped and encouraged Danny to feel comfortable in his own skin. However, he was never a show-off, flaunting his erect penis and walking around all cocky, being obnoxious. That’s often the typical behavior or attitude of boys when they’re naked and often expected, applauded or glorified by their chauvinistic fathers.
Living in an apartment without a backyard or Becky’s house not only brought us physically closer together, but also made us more aware of how Danny was growing in mind, body and spirit. The closeness, especially to his mom, helped Danny overcome the transition to life in an apartment and find new ways to be the child that he was.
During the week, after completing his homework, Danny’s mom would make him read adventure stories. His favorites were The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Call of the Wild, and Swiss Family Robinson. After reading a chapter or two, she would have him retell the events to her. That would open the way to long conversations which kept Danny’s mind and imagination busy. Otherwise, he would just mope around the apartment. The weekends were especially difficult, because he didn’t want to step out the door.
Twice a week, she would take him to a nearby park for a brisk walk or to throw Frisbees. On Sundays, all three of us would get out of the city to go to a park along the river to throw balls and then have a picnic, or go hiking in a nearby forest park. Danny enjoyed these outings, being with Nature in the sunshine, feeling the breeze, the sounds, and being able to get out of his clothes. Although nudity is entirely a natural thing, not everyone thought it was alright when Danny walked around naked, reacting with fear, shock and shame; not to mention some of the comments we had to endure about our permissive parenting style, our lack of defining boundaries of what is right and wrong. A few smiled approvingly, but that was about it – a few. We tried to find balance by convincing Danny to leave on at least his colorful underwear or Speedos, but weren’t always successful.
Just when we were at our wits end, we got a call from my parents. They had finally fixed up the old family farm homestead that my father inherited and wanted the grandkids to spend the summer with them. Danny was thrilled with the idea of spending time with his grandparents, but we had to make him promise that on his return and, because he was turning 11 in the fall, he no longer would strut around naked in the parks.
“A pause in life is just a chance to grow your soul.” – Powell Davies
It took nearly two years for Danny to adjust to life in the Big City. However, after he returned from his first summer stay on the farm with his grandparents, he seemed more positive and energetic, always looking for ways to keep busy or satisfy his curiosity. He liked going to school and talking about his new fifth-grade teacher and classmates, especially the foreign kids. He did very well in all his subjects, but liked arithmetic and geography the most. Often, he would come home and spend a lot of time studying a huge map of the world and a map of the Big City.
For Christmas, we gave Danny a computer so that he could look up things he was learning at school. Websites about animals such as dinosaurs, insects and snakes were his favorite. We put parental controls on his browser and made sure he wasn’t sitting at the computer for more than an hour each day. It was a celebration to see how Danny’s interest in school grew and his grades improved using the computer responsibly.
Danny was helpful around the house and even volunteered to cook. He liked boiling eggs, heating up hot dogs, and making peanut butter and jam sandwiches. He liked it when his mom would bake a cake so that he could lick the bowl. Occasionally on Sundays, Danny would get up early to prepare breakfast, while we pretended to be asleep, waiting for him to surprise us. Those were some of the most precious moments.
Although he didn’t have any hobbies, Danny’s pastime included playing video games and listening to music, sometimes all at the same time. I could never figure out how he got over obstacles and avoided the pitfalls. I played along by being the observer and cheerleader.
Danny preferred instrumental music and we felt it was time to check out and encourage musical talent. First, we got him an electric guitar. That didn’t work well for him; the noise didn’t go over well for us either. So we got him an electric keyboard. He enjoyed making the notes on musical sheets come alive. However, it ended up being just another toy rather than an instrument of artistic expression.
Energy was one thing that Danny had lots of. As his body grew stronger so did his desire to perform all sorts of stunts. Standing on his head or hanging upside down letting gravity pull his growing penis in the opposite direction was more than amazing. Pretending to be a wrestling champion was my favorite to watch as he braced his body, muscles tensed and penis jutting forward, in a stance similar to a naked Greek Olympian, challenging me to a match. He and I had fun tussling around on the living room floor until he had me pinned. He would wear me out and I just let him win. Danny didn’t manifest a preference for any particular sport, but he did show lots of interest watching the gymnasts of the Summer Olympics and how they made their bodies leap and twist.
There were also downtime moments when Danny would watch a DVD movie or leaf through magazines. We got him a small collection of vintage films for kids. He enjoyed the Little Rascals which he never tired of watching and laughing at their escapades. He also liked to watch Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin. The inseparable bonds between the boys Timmy and Rusty and their intelligent dog companions, and their adventures captivated Danny’s every attention. We too enjoyed watching along with Danny, but more to observe his concentration and listen to him describe the best parts at the end. His eyes would glisten as he talked, and his hands and arms and legs and everything else in between provided the special effects.
For his twelfth birthday, we gave Danny a brand new camera and he liked shooting selfies standing naked in front of a full-length mirror. At first, we were a bit worried that he was becoming narcissistic, obsessed with himself, admiring his attributes which were amazingly large compared to his older cousin. His testicles were starting to descend and his mother thought he was well hung for his age. However, the photo ops were nothing more than trying to get a handle on the camera. Then for Christmas, we got him a camcorder to register all our precious moments together. Most of the time, Danny was the producer and director, and he always had a good eye for catching us in romantic moments. It was fun watching the results. Of course, we had to explain to him to keep those videos and photos private, because some people might get the wrong idea. As always, Danny showed great responsibility and good judgement, and we loved him for it.
Sometimes, Danny would go out onto the fire escape which led down to an inner courtyard of the building. There he would take pictures or just let the sun’s rays stream down over his body. We never got any complaints from residents, but were worried about gawkers, especially those with perverted minds, including the little old ladies.
“Is this not the true romantic feeling; not to desire to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping you?” - Thomas Wolfe
We couldn’t find a place for Danny that trained or engaged children in gymnastics. There were plenty of fitness centers, but they weren’t the answer to fulfill his interest after seeing the Olympic gymnasts. On the other hand, there was a ballet school only a few blocks away from our apartment building. We were able to convince Danny to try it out. After all, ballet did involve music and a lot of leaping and twisting which he enjoyed. However, Danny was worried about having to wear those tights. There were two other boys his age in the class and the instructor was very good at keeping them focused and motivated. He agreed to try it and after a few classes he really enjoyed the exercises, techniques and dancing style.
Danny liked showing us the techniques he learned and we were very proud of his interest and new ability even without his tights on. Classes were twice a week on every Tuesday and Thursday after school. Danny would go there straight from school and still have time to get home to do his homework. On Saturdays, the kids were invited to watch the older ones train and perform. At first, Danny’s mom would take him, but he told her it wasn’t necessary. Plus, he wanted to ride his bike to the ballet school. It was a chance to use it considering that it just sat chained to a pole downstairs in the underground garage of our building. Since it wasn’t far and twice a week Danny would walk the distance home by himself, we decided to give it a try.
One nice Saturday after several weeks had passed, Danny’s mom decided to go to the ballet school to see the older kids perform. She had to go to the nearby convenient store anyway. When she arrived at the school, Danny wasn’t there. She asked one of the boys in his class who told her that he hadn’t shown up on Saturdays for some time.
To our surprise, we learned later that day that Danny would ride his bike to a large city park. If he didn’t already do so on his way, he would take off all his clothes once he got to the park. He would spend an hour climbing trees, playing on an abandoned playground, and hiding among the trees. He said he had picked a spot where not too many people came by to jog or walk through. We told him he shouldn’t have done that without our knowledge and permission. What if someone did come by and stole his bike and clothes? How would he get back home? Ride the subway naked? That is, if they let him get on. He got the message and promised to never wander off like that again. But, just to make sure, we told him he couldn’t play video games, watch DVD’s, nor listen to music for a whole week. Plus, he was to stay in his room after ballet classes doing his homework or reading books. Boys and their reckless adventures; sometimes they’re beyond words.
It was a long one week without seeing much of our Danny. If he was being deprived of his favorite pastimes, we were being deprived of Danny sharing with us his enthusiasm for life.
Danny’s escapade gave us a lot to think about. What could we do to have him grow up safe and happy, while at the same time allow him to enjoy God’s nature like Adam and Eve? Apparently, the previous three summers he spent with his grandparents on the farm not only cemented, but also intensified his desire to be naked outdoors.
“There’s nothing more exciting than a boy with charm.” – Christina Aguilera
Since he was little, Danny was naked. To picture him otherwise, is almost impossible. We probably saved some money by not having to buy that much clothes for him. Danny’s mom, however, loved to dress him with smart looking outfits and matching shorts and shirts. There aren’t that many pictures of him dressed because usually he didn’t stay long enough in them.
We learned early on not to treat nudism as something that you “DO”, but as something that you “ARE.” In general, boys have less hang ups about being nude as opposed to girls. It’s an expression of freedom and convenience. Girls, on the other hand, require more privacy. It may have something to do with the fact that boys take more time to grow physically and mentally before the onset of puberty. In any event, boys don’t care if girls know what they look like or get to see their “secrets.”
Nudity is not vulgar unless the nude people are being vulgar. Encouraging a child to be nude helps him or her to build self-esteem and confidence. It not only sends a message of self-acceptance and having a healthy esteem for their body, but also says that it should be respected. In that sense, Danny was neither conceited nor arrogant in being nude and exposing his naked body.
It is not nature that made “private parts” private. It is covering them up or hiding them with clothes that cause inhibitions and anxieties. Danny never felt awkward being nude. Certainly, there were “situations” that were somewhat clumsy or inconvenient, especially when it came to erections. They were spontaneous. Danny had them often, even in our presence, and overtime they became more frequent. We were very casual about pomp and tried not to make a fuss over it. We told Danny it was totally normal for all boys to have erections. It’s part of life and there’s nothing wrong with having one.
Whether he was in his bedroom, in the kitchen, or shower; sitting, standing or lying down; asleep or awake, Danny produced an ever evolving erect penis. Before he reached puberty, his erections were spontaneous and anything would set it off: touch, rubbing, running water, vibrations, sights, sounds, and fantasies. He’d be drying dishes and the towel brushing against his penis would set off an erection. He’d stand in front of a burning fireplace or a hot oven, and it would happen. When he got out of bed in the morning, Danny would be saluting the day with morning wood, set off by a full bladder. He also had an occasional, unconscious need to play with his penis before or during an erection by squeezing or tugging on it. It’s a natural form of exploring one’s body and sexuality. Danny’s penis seemed above average in length and thickness, every parent’s dream for their son, and to his mom’s delight reached an eye-catching 45-degree angle or less when he was standing.
As he matured and entered puberty, Danny’s erections became ever more frequent during the day. His penis was getting longer, thicker, and pointing upwards with a slight curve. Some boys find erections an annoying and uncomfortable aspect of puberty. Danny, on the other hand, never thought about his erections as inappropriate. Instead, they just occurred involuntarily at inappropriate times. Danny never felt he was in some sort of predicament because of them. He did eventually start massaging and stroking his penis deliberately to become erect and to feel the wonderful sensations it brought him.
I’ll never forget the day Danny experienced his first ejaculation. He was lying on his bed reading a book while playing with himself until the urge to masturbate took over full control. He ran to his mother, holding his limp penis in both hands, and told her he may have injured himself. Instead of giving him a biological explanation of what just occurred, she hugged and congratulated him on discovering one of the most important aspects about his body and of growing up to become a man. We were very proud how Danny learned to take charge of his sexuality and to control his erections, although unsuccessful at times.
“Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety.” - Aeschylus
Our building had an annex where a small indoor pool, a sauna, and a fitness room were located. The pool and the sauna were open only from October through March when the boiler was running to heat the building. The annex was closed when we moved into the building and remained that way for almost three years and then another year and a half as it went through some major reforms. We were away at the farm with my parents for a long Thanksgiving break when the pool and sauna were re-inaugurated. We had completely forgotten about the event. Danny, however, didn’t and, just before he turned 14, started to observe from his bedroom window next to his computer desk a trickle of residents going in and out of the annex. No one went there before nine in the morning.
Each apartment had a key to gain access to the annex. Every Saturday and Sunday, Danny would slip out of the apartment early in the morning around seven and head for the pool.
In reality, the pool was more like a big tank. You really couldn’t swim laps in it. However, that didn’t deter Danny from having fun, skinny dipping in the style practiced at YMCA’s until the early 1980’s. He would spend about an hour bobbing around, maneuvering underwater, and of course jumping into the pool doing all sorts of flips, twists, cannonballs, scissor jumps and firecracker jumps. He seemed to know them all.
After he had spent most of his energy in the pool, he went into the sauna to relax a little. It was a small sauna for 2-3 adults. Danny occupied it like it was reserved exclusively for him. He knew kids couldn’t stay long in the oppressive wet heat and after about 10 minutes would go over to the fitness room to pump his muscles.
The fitness room had the usual equipment: some dumbbells and weights, an exercise bike, a treadmill, and a weight machine. It was required to wear shorts, t-shirt and tennis shoes to use the fitness room for safety and hygiene reasons. However, Danny didn’t quite comprehend that rule. He was naked in the pool, naked in the sauna, and thought it was absolutely normal exercising his muscles in the fitness room in the buff as well.
One day, a grandfatherly gentleman came to our door. He was a resident from another floor and occasionally used the fitness room on Sundays when most everyone was sleeping late. He said that he met Danny a couple of times. He went on to say that he wasn’t bothered by the fact that Danny was there completely naked, which was the norm at his high school back in his days. However, he couldn’t vouch for the other residents and how they would react. In other words, he was genuinely concerned about Danny’s safety and our standing with the building council.
Danny’s mom was very upset and rightly so. She was worried that things were getting out of hand especially after the city park episode just a few months earlier. When I got home from work, we all sat down and had a long conversation with Danny. We weren’t going to punish him. We wanted him to use the pool and fitness room, but he had to follow the building’s rules and promise to use proper attire. If he kept his word, we would try to enroll him in a summer camp where kids his age loved being outdoors and naked all the time.
The idea about the naturist summer camp popped up in my head at the spur of the moment. I hadn’t planned it. Even I was surprised after I made the suggestion. I had read about them and heard from a colleague about one an hour’s drive away from the town where we had lived before. Danny looked dazzled with a twinkle in his eyes. He didn’t know whether to smile or continue with a repentant look on his face. Danny’s mom turned her head and gave me a puzzled look, the type that says, “OK, but I want to know more before I approve.” I had boxed myself into a corner and tried valiantly to wriggle myself free. I told Danny to give his mom a big, long hug. There was no hesitation on either part, and we all gave a sigh of relief and joy.