Christmas!!! Bah Humbug!! - Cover

Christmas!!! Bah Humbug!!

by Jack Spratt

Copyright© 2016 by Jack Spratt

Romantic Sex Story: Christmas isn't one of Don's favorite times of year! He attempts to divorce himself from all the commercial babble associated with this so called festive season. Don's simple mundane life had no need. But a bus ride to his employment one morning changed all of that! Actually a new passenger on his daily trip, Avery has him actually put some of the Christmas pomp, as well as other things, back into his life

Caution: This Romantic Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   .

It is only November 1, and the mall speakers are blaring Christmas music already. The Christmas season hasn’t been a favorite of mine for many years. And each year the commercialization Christmas seems to start earlier. Hell, we haven’t had Thanksgiving yet, and Halloween was just last night!


The last Christmas I can remember that I actually got excited about, was nearly forty years ago. It was the last one before my mom died. Christmas was her time of the year. She saved a bit of the household money every month in an old Baking Powder can she stored on the top shelf in the kitchen. It was her insurance that she could provide my sister and I with a very memorable Christmas. She baked, made sure dad got a tree and had him set it up. She made a point of having the whole family help decorate it. My sister, like my mom, was and is still a Christmas person. All the presents were wrapped in bright paper, and placed under the tree. Me and my sister tried to guess what each one contained. It was a game we played every year. We had a wonderful Christmas Day.


But the following summer Mom came down with cancer and by fall she had passed. Christmas from that point on, was my dad buying some gifts, then giving them to my sister and me on Christmas morning. No wrapping paper, no excitement, just ‘here they are’.

Since that time I have dreaded the Christmas season with a passion. Currently, all it does is disrupt my mundane life. It screws up my television programs by removing the regular fare and replacing them with the continuous flow of Christmas reruns. Bah Humbug!


A bit about me, my name is Don Tonner, forty-seven, divorced for seven years. Fortunately, we’d had no children. My ex turned out to be Satan’s Spawn. The two years prior to our marriage was what I thought our marriage would be like after we tied the knot. Not So! Before her wedding dress came off, her horns had started to grow. That’s when she told me everything she wanted to change in me. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!


Turns out she didn’t like my job! I am a tool and die maker and at that time I was making a good income. Hell, I am still making a good income. She wanted me to lose weight, she didn’t like my house ... yes, my house!

I’d bought it when I was single, long before I’d met my ex. It was a three bedroom brick bungalow, in an old residential neighborhood in Westerville. I remember it was listed as a fixer-upper. Boy was that an understatement. The only good thing about it was the price, which was cheap.

After nearly two years of upgrades, it more than tripled in value. I liked it then, and I still like it, now.

One thing I was smart enough to have to have done prior to my marriage was to have a marital contract. What she brought into the marriage was hers, and mine was mine!


Two years later, to the day, she marched into the kitchen where I had prepared an Anniversary dinner with wine. She told me she’d had enough! I was never going to meet her expectations. She tore upstairs, I heard her in her closets and there were a number of bangs and thumps. She returned to the kitchen, screamed at me. Then she left in a waiting taxi. To this day, I really don’t know what she said when she left. Hell, I didn’t know I hadn’t met her expectations. In bed, I had always brought her to numerous climaxes.


My love life since the divorce is what you might call spotty. I have been laid nine times. Three times I had to pay for it. The other six were a result of too much drink for both of us, but I managed to stay sober long enough to lay my partner.


I am one of the lead hands at ‘Franklin Tool and Die.’ I have been a loyal employee for fourteen years. I have qualified for every bonus that was put up for me and my crew.


I learned very early in life that my investment abilities were the shits. I lost all kinds of money on hare brained schemes. Then, I saw the light!

During one my lunch breaks, I was musing in my mind about the last horrendous loss of five thousand dollars, when I heard two of my co-workers talking about their retirement, and they kept referring to a ‘Paul Bradford.’ Later, I asked one of them who he was. Paul Bradford was, and is, an investment broker for a reputable company. Two weeks later, Mr. Bradford had a new client: me! Over the years, he has been true to his word. I have been receiving a good return on all my investments. When the market is good, I make more, when it is slow, I make less; but, I have yet to have a loss in all the years he has handled my money.


A couple of years ago, I stopped using my vehicle to travel to work. I now use Public Transit. Not only does it save me money, it also saves my sanity. I no longer have to put up with the morning and evening traffic. Time wise, it takes all of fifteen minutes more to take the bus compared to me driving to work.

Another item of interest is my fellow bus passengers. They come from all walks of life ... at least, I think they walk. Some of the getups they wear have me wondering if they are actually from this planet! Most must be employed as it seems the same group are on the bus each morning.

About two weeks ago, a new passenger appeared: a young lady, a very attractive young lady, sporting a mane of beautiful shoulder length red hair. During my short study of her attributes, she didn’t come up short in any one of them! She actually got off at my stop. The first time I saw her, I wondered if this was a onetime thing! Just being able to enjoy her beauty from across the bus isle was a great early morning perk!


I don’t know about your neighborhood, but at this time of year, all my neighbors attempt to outdo each other by installing the maximum number of lights and horrible blow up Christmas characters. My house is an island of sanity in the sea of bright lights: nada lights, and nada dumb characters.


It took me nearly three more weeks to figure my new bus mate actually worked at ‘Franklin Tool’, but in personnel. Plant workers use one entrance, which is guarded; and the office staffs use the main entrance. I didn’t find out with my investigative talents, but one morning when clocked in, there was a note on my time card to visit personnel at 11:35 am to update my personal information. I have nothing to update, really, but the company does this annually. Besides, it’s paid time.

When I left the floor at 11:30, my supervisor had been notified. I approached reception and advised her who I was and my mission. She asked me to have a seat, while she advised someone I was at reception. Then I saw her, my bus mate, my morning vision of beauty! She was approaching me, hand extended, with warming smile.

“Mr. Tonner, I am Avery Wilmore. Please follow me, this won’t take long.”

Hell, it can take as long as possible. She looked great on the bus, but following her, I am overwhelmed with her scent, a haunting floral mixture, and her bottom, what a bottom! Her skirt actually molded to her beautiful butt cheeks, giving a full view of her hips, and the valley between them. The movement has my old buddy having some naughty, and not Christmassy, thoughts.

She leads me her office, invites me to sit. At her desk she grabs a folder.

“Now I know who you are! I see you on the bus each morning. It is good to get a name for the face.”

“We are bus mates. It is good to know you as well.”

“Let’s get down to business!”

It took all of ten minutes to review my file, she asked a question, and to all, my response was ‘no change.’ Before leaving she stood and offered her hand. It is so soft, my eyes are on her breasts which are not large but well formed, and more than enough runs through my mind. Her face, hmm, her face, beautiful well-formed full lips, currently coated with a very ‘kiss me’ lip gloss, her eyes are a sparkling green, then I realize I am staring, and Miss Wilmore knows I am staring! A whist full smile crosses her face. Now I feel really stupid.

“I should be getting back to work. Thank you for your time M...”

“It is Miss, now.”

“Miss Wilmore.”

My thoughts are to get the hell out of Dodge before I do something stupid. Beautiful women have that effect on me. I turn and head for the door.

Then I hear,

“Mr. Tonner, are you attending the company Christmas party?”

I have never attended any company functions since joining, fourteen years ago. Quickly, I am trying to come up with an answer!

“I hadn’t made any plans. Are you attending?”

“I don’t have much choice, it’s one of my jobs to organise it. It’s the company’s major annual event for all of the staff. The company goes all out with great food and a live band. You should come.”

What can I say? It is actually the last thing on my mind for that weekend. But...

“I can try. I don’t think I have anything on for that weekend, I will check.”

“I would love to see you there, Don.”


Back in my work area, my mind attempts to analyze Avery’s question and comments. She can’t be interested in an old fart like me! I have the sexual appeal of wet rag! She has access to all my personal information as to my age, marital status etc. But it does have me pondering!


The next morning, I start living dangerously! I look for Avery and take the seat beside her. I ignore the Christmas music flowing through the bus speakers.

“Do you mind the company?”

“No, actually, I will enjoy it. Sometimes I wonder where some of our co-passengers come from.”

“That is one thing we have in common!”

Talking to Avery is so easy, hell just being this close to her is easy. During my life, my ‘girl skills’ have been lacking. Her laugh is music to my ears. I don’t even know why, but being this close to Avery gives me the greatest feeling I have had in years. A couple of times she lightly shoves me to make a point. Her slight touch feels so good! The problem is the trip is too short. Funny; before Avery, I always thought it was too long!


During our trips, I learn a more about Avery. She is thirty two, divorced, and we never got into anything about it. She has never had any children; again, no further explanation. I certainly didn’t ask. She has been with the company five years; gradually moving up in the ranks. Now she’s the company’s personnel officer. She moved to an apartment two bus stops from mine, recently. That’s a good reason for me not seeing her on the bus, before.

But all that personal info isn’t the best thing she revealed, the fact she is not seeing anyone is! That little bit of info, made my heart surge! Why? Hell, I don’t know why! These feelings are all new to me! My interest in women has always been there, unfortunately their interest in me has been a little shy of nil, but my actions to attract the opposite sex have been very low keyed: like, none!


The company party is coming up. My mind is telling me Avery is interested in me. However, analyzing it, everything else is telling me I am way out of my league. What a quandary! Every day during our trip to work and back, she brings it up.

“Don, have you made a decision yet? Are you coming to the company party? I really would like you to.”

The trouble is I want to go, just to be close to Avery. She appears to be everything my mystical mind-created partner should be. But I just can’t take the leap and make the commitment. Maybe a different approach will help!

“Avery would you like to go for dinner, tonight?”

There, I made a big step forward. Her answer should tell all! She really looks surprised or maybe it’s shock! We are eye to eye, if I had any sort of balls, I would lean over and kiss her. That action would tell me everything I want to know about how Avery really thinks and feels about me. Finally, she speaks!

“Tonight?”

“Yes, tonight. Nothing fancy. This bus passes a number of restaurants; we can have dinner at any one of them.”

“I won’t have to change?”

“No, you’re beautiful at all times.”

That was my mouth doing its thing before my mind caught up. Should I have said that? I am waiting for the result? Avery’s face has taken on a beautiful shade of pink, a result of a blush.

“Nobody has called me beautiful in a very long time.”

“You are. Actually you’re very beautiful, but you didn’t answer my question.”

“Mr. Tonner, it would be a privilege to join you for dinner, tonight.”

“Thank you, Miss Wilmore; I will be awaiting you after shift, today.”

That is when I took a chance. I grabbed her hand and held it. She returned the grip. That may not sound like much, but to a guy whose luck with women/girls/females has been zilch, it is a big leap of faith! To me it direct confirmation. I do interest her! Why? I really don’t know.


The day goes extremely slowly, but finally four thirty rolls around. I arrive at the bus stop before Avery. Then I see her, strolling towards me, her smile is large and genuine.

“Don, I have a suggestion!”

“What would that be?”

“I would love to go home and freshen up, then meet you say at six?”

Truthfully, I was thinking the same thing, I would love to have a shower and shave, and look as good as possible for Avery.

“That sounds like a plan. I can pick you up at your apartment. I’ll drive.”

“I live at 14 Graham Street, apartment 307. You can park in the visitors spot.”

This is going better than I envisioned, she wants me to pick her up at her apartment!


Now in my clean duds (and some aftershave that I haven’t used in years), I am about to knock on her door. I go for it. I can hear movement on the other side of the door, and then it opens. Avery is wearing a tailored skirt. It captures and reveals all the facets of her marvelous body. Her scent hits me like a hammer. But that wasn’t the ‘piece da resistances’; it was her semi sheer blouse which revealed her demi cup lace bra, full of Avery, the soft oceans of skin are calling me. I stand in the doorway, dumbfounded. Avery grabs my hand and pulls me into her apartment.

“You like my outfit!”

And to make matter worse for me, she is laughing. My mouth is moving but for some reason there is no sound. Now I am focused on her desirable lips, currently demonstrating just how talented Avery is in applying lip gloss.

“Have a seat, I am just about ready.”

I am blest, again, watching her hips sway ever so sexually, and of course I can see her bra strap through her blouse. I am a dirty old man! Then it hits me, why am I here? Avery could have any male in the plant, but it is me she connected with.

The sounds of her finishing ... whatever she is doing, has my mind imagining what her bedroom looks like. In my small mind, it is Avery, on her back, her beautiful legs spread, looking me eye to eye, beckoning me to Valhalla. Then, in the fog, I hear ‘Earth to Don.’

“Okay, Don, I am ready.”

I can’t imagine how stupid I must look. My mind wrested away from it pit of depravity.

“Avery, I have to apologize. Me dating isn’t a common occurrence. I am very, very rusty.”

“So this is a date!”

Shit! Did I say something wrong?

“In my small mind it is. I am sorry if I took things for granted.”

“Don, you have done nothing wrong, so don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t tell you this but I feel comfortable with you.”

That is a good thing isn’t it? I ask!

“Why is that?”

“You have been gentlemen since we met. You’ve never put the make on me, like the majority of the men I have met.”

She is now looking into my eyes, and again starts to laugh.

“Okay, you haven’t let me know you want to put the make on me!”

My blush tells all. She grabs my arm gives it a squeeze.

“Let’s go, you promised to feed me.”


The restaurant is three blocks from her apartment. Just the smell outside of the place has our appetites salivating for food. The meal went from wonderful to marvelous. Hell, I could have been eating hay! Avery’s company does everything for me. The room is loaded with Christmas decorations, Christmas music flows continually out of the ceiling speakers; but you know, I never really notice it.

During the meal, I learn more about my guest. Avery was originally from the western part of the country. She was married and divorced in Denver, and moved to Westerville six years ago. She has had a few dates, when she said that, my eyebrows flicked.

She smiled and said, “No I didn’t have any affairs.” She blushed, leaned over the table and whispered, “I have a large selection of ‘self-satisfaction toys’!” Maybe I was getting too much information!


“Don thank you for a wonderful meal. It has been a long time since I went out and actually enjoyed the company. Thank you!”

“It was my pleasure. It has been a long time since I actually went out for a meal during the week. My mundane life has been in a rut. So thank you, Avery, for accepting my invitation.”

“Don, I really meant what I said about feeling comfortable with you. I read your personnel file, but you didn’t hear that from me. There is not one negative report in it, after fifteen years. That has to be a record.”

I know my record is clean, and must have been boring to read. I feel like I have known Avery for years, but it has only been a few months. Then we are at her apartment building. Parking in a visitor’s spot, I rush to open her door like a gentleman.

“Oh, that is sweet Don, so cavalier. Would you like to come up for a coffee?”

Is she kidding! I would come up just to watch her do the dishes. I still can’t get my head around the fact she is giving me a second look.

“I would like that, Avery.”

I follow Avery, enjoying her scent and the view, I wonder what it would be like to bury my face in her hair, feel her soft warm body close to mind, but I digress! Just watching her move has me excited. The stupid thing is that the background music in the apartment building’s hallways is shitty Christmas crap, and I never notice it.

In the apartment she takes my coat and hangs it in the hall closet. Again I follow her into her efficient kitchen. She has a Kruger Coffee maker with numerous varieties of coffee pods.

“Would you like to sit in the kitchen or would you be more comfortable in the living room? That sofa is actually comfortable.”

I want to say, I would be comfortable sitting anywhere as long as I was close to her. My eyes keep drifting to the valley between her breasts, so dark, so interesting so magnetizing.

Avery directs me to seat on the right side, thus it has me expecting her to sit on the left side, wrong! She surprises me, by sitting beside me, actually because my weight depresses the cushion, she slides against me. We are joined at the hips so to speak. The contact feels like a touch of fire. She is so close, her lips are so close! I’m as nervous as a mouse being stalked by a cat.

“Don, all in all it has been a wonderful day. We should have more of them. Are you coming to the company dinner? You still haven’t told me.”

The next series of events are burnt in my memory forever. As she asks the question she places her coffee cup on the small table before her. I place mine on the end table. Her movements brought more of her warm body in contact with mine. I know my buddy was really interested, shit he could embarrass me.

“Well?”

That was the catalyst. All I see is her lips moving. The next thing I know I am enjoying the taste of her lip gloss, via her luscious lips. The good thing is, she is responding in kind! I feel her tongue doing its thing. Without thinking, my arm is around her shoulders, pulling her warm soft body to mine. My hand is exploring her bra strap. She feels so good. Avery pulls away. She is breathing heavily ... hell, I am breathing heavily.

“Well, you still haven’t answered!”

There is a bit of excitement in her voice. My buddy is really excited. Avery’s skirt has ridden up exposing beautiful skin above her stay-up stockings. Another two inches and I will be privileged to see the first glimpse of Valhalla. My current embarrassing situation is that if I move my hand, my buddy will be part of the conversation. The tent is unmistakable. Avery facial expression changes to a small smile.

“Did I cause that?”

What a question! Then it hits me! Avery has Christmas music playing in the background, and I never noticed.

“Caused what?”

What else am I to say? ‘Avery, I really want to get into your panties?’ She mentioned earlier that she appreciated me not hitting on her. But now Avery takes things into her own hands and I mean that more than literally. She now has buddy in her control! Her warm fingers are wrapped around his head. I am Avery’s.

“Maybe a bit!”

For that stupid comment I get her soft laugh. For me telling an untruth, she squeezes my poor buddy. It’s starting to feel really good. I still want to ravish Avery but I keep my hands where they are. The last thing I want to do is scare Avery. But she is not about to be scared off. She leans over and proceeds to give me one of the best French Kisses I have ever experienced! What am I saying? I was ten when a nine year old girl used me to practice on. My arms are now pulling her close. Her hand is now squeezing the life out of buddy.

“Avery, if you keep that up, things are going to get messy!”

“Now, we can’t have that.”

She moves and lifts herself off of the sofa. I thought it was the end, but she grabs my hand and pulls me towards her bedroom.

“Avery, I don’t want to throw water on this, but we both have to work, tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry this won’t take long.”

Now that comment has me concerned, ‘won’t take long?’ What is she planning to do in the bedroom?


The room is totally feminine as you would expect, with a queen sized bed and with a number of teddies piled on the pillows. With no thought of injury to her menagerie of teddies, she dumps them on the floor. She sits on the bed, and I am looking at the top of her head. Then I hear that sound! My zipper is being lowered. Her hand searches, finds and pulls. Then I feel Avery’s warm moist mouth engulfing buddy. My body takes over, starting the famous thrusting motion to coincide with Avery’s mouth and hand movements.

My mind tries to extend the feeling for as long as possible, it truly does, but Avery’s soft warm mouth sucking has the upper hand, so to speak. Buddy can’t hold out! He starts to ejaculate several major shots, and then he just dribbles. I have never felt so exhausted in my life. Avery guides me to the bed beside her.

“I liked that, Don. I haven’t enjoyed blowing a guy in years.”

“That makes two of us, Avery. I haven’t been blown in years.”

Avery smiles, then laughs. There is a small blob of cum is in the crease of her lips, I watch her tongue clean it off. Avery’s eyes are shining, hell, she is so beautiful. I want to do something for her! Finally I have the energy to stand. I coax Avery to stand. She looks at me questioningly as I now drop to my knees. I slip my hands under her skirt, find her thong, and lower it to her feet. She lifts one foot and then the other for its removal. Being the sneaky bastard I am, I slip it into my pocket.

“Now it is my turn, Avery.”

With that I have Avery lie in the middle of the bed and roll her skirt to her breasts as I enjoy the sight before me. Avery has a very large ‘man in the boat‘ and tonight’s activity has him extended for attention. He is surrounded by a tuff of red hair. Avery’s labia majora are large and full. Her labia minora are thin but extend out a good inch. Below her amazing vagina is a very attractive pucker. My mind is all over the place. To me it is a lunch bucket. Her sexual scent should be bottled. It is heady and addictive. My first taste leads to more. I have no idea how many times Avery climaxes, but it comes to a point that she pushes me away.

“Don, what have you done to me? I have never cum so many times in my life! Actually, you are the only one to ever enjoy eating my pussy. My husband didn’t think it was a nice thing. Blowing him was okay, but him eating me wasn’t.”

All that goes through my mind is, ‘what an asshole.’ Avery tastes good like every pussy should. Her taste is still in my mouth. I just savor and enjoy.

“Avery, you taste great, and I love your continuous flow of liquid libation.”

“Don, it is nearly eleven, and we both have to work.”

“Avery, this has been a very memorable evening. Thank you.”

“Don, you realize you still haven’t answered my question, are you going to the company Christmas dinner?”

“Yes, I will, but you have to be my date!”

“Agreed. Now you better leave, or we will both be late for work tomorrow, and you know how rumors get started.”


Driving home, the car stereo was playing Christmas music and my mind doesn’t take notice. Usually I would be changing channels swearing at it. It was nearly twelve thirty when I finally hit the sheets. Sleep came quickly, with Avery’s scented panties at my nose. She does smell good!


The bus trip to work was interesting. We had as much of our bodies touching each other during the trip as possible. Anymore and we could have been charged with molesting each other.

“You took my panties, didn’t you?”

“What panties are you talking about?”

“The ones I had on before you molested me!”

“Hmmm, if I recalled correctly, someone nearly bit my very important appendage off my body. The only thing that saved it was he cried and gave the aggressor some tears.”

“Now I remember he did taste good but he couldn’t stand the pressure, if I recall correctly he lost everything. But what I remember is being molested, to the point of providing liquid libation to an invading sucker.”

At that point, we pulled up to Franklin Tool and Die. As we are about to take our different paths Avery looks at me and smiles.

“I still want them back!”

“I will trade you.”

“Trade me, trade me for what?”

“The ones you are wearing.”


The day went well. I have never felt so exhilerated at work. It’s Friday, which helps. Every free thought was about Avery. How could I be so lucky? Then the doubts set in, am I ahead of myself? Was last night a one night stand?

I had ups and downs all day.


On the bus, we are again pushing against each other. It reminded me of a high school dance a zillion years ago, when I danced with a certain young lady. We squished each other so hard, I thought my buddy would get broken.

“I still want my panties back!”

“Say it a little louder, that guy with the orange hair couldn’t hear you.”

For that smart remark, I got a fist on the arm.

“What are you doing tonight, Don?”

Is that the question that will end all my doubts? I really want Avery.

“What did you have in mind?”

“You could return my panties.”

“Say it louder, orange hair still didn’t hear all of it!”

Another smack in the shoulder, if this keeps up I am going to apply for compensation for a work accident.

“Don, I am serious!”

I look at her in surprise. I notice she can’t hold a straight face, then she bursts out laughing. Now Orange Hair is really interested in what is so funny.

“And what do I get in exchange?”

“What you asked for but you have to take them off.”

My buddy, is all for that. I am all for that. Avery wants to see me again, and in a very personal way. What can I say?

“What time?”

“I can have dinner on the table at six, if you are interested.”


Again on my way to Avery’s Christmas music is blaring, but my thoughts are on Avery’s wonderful body. Nothing can deter me from enjoying being with her, not even shitty Christmas music.


Avery greets me at the door with a kiss. She is wearing a full length Chemise. Hugging Avery, it actually feels like that is the only thing she is wearing! She isn’t wearing a bra, lowering my hand further down, there is no panty line. What is she up too? Avery has a taunting grin on her face. With no panty line, there are no panties for me to exchange.

“I took my panties off to shower.”

“So how can we make the exchange?”

“We can discuss that over dinner.”

Avery is a good cook, but looking across the table at her and knowing that the only thing between Avery’s soft warm body and me is the table and a very thin chemise, well... Buddy is suggesting we move away from the table. Me, I am interested in what she is planning to do about the trade!

“What do you want for dessert, Don?”

Now that is a dumb question, she knows what I want, more of the same where we left off last night. Avery is daring me to do something. I am hoping ... no, not hoping, praying ... she will lead me to her bedroom. My eyes don’t leave her face, as she rises from the table, leans her body towards me and gives me the first view of her very impressive twins. I get a flash of two reddish taut nipples prominently displayed. I didn’t get to see them last night, but tonight will correct that oversight. We are now eye to eye!

 
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