If any of you know anything about handguns, then you know that having your thumb on the trigger instead of your index finger means it is pointed at you and you are having a very bad day or days as the situation I now find myself in. You see, I had divorce papers served on me two days ago.
For some husbands that would be like a pardon from the warden and would be a reason for celebrating. I on the other hand actually love my wife more than anything. Instead of celebrating I was sitting out on my deck looking at the barrel of my revolver.
We’ve been at odds for the past couple months and she has been extra bitchy for some reason, but I was chalking it up to her upcoming birthday. I guess her turning 50 is hitting her harder than I thought it would.
You see my wife is already “going through the change” as it has been described. That means trouble if you’re the male partner in a marriage. An encrypted remark that was meant to hurt or the “I’ve got a headache” response when I tried to get frisky really knocks you down. Like I said, that has been going on for months, but you endure it since you married “in sickness and in health.”
But the last two weeks have been unbearable. When she did speak to me I almost wish she hadn’t. She limited her conversation to some kind of insult about my manhood or my inability to satisfy her in bed. Of course reminding her of the last 25 years with no complaints was met with the ever so humbling “I faked it every damn time” from her.
OK, no denying it, the love of my life has been an incredible bitch the last two weeks. I wasn’t about to take much more from the flaming she bitch I once called wife, so I packed a bag and kept it in my car, just in case.
But I had a task to complete first, even if she wasn’t going to appreciate it. I had planned a big party for her birthday with a professional party planner starting about two months ago. Rachel planned several of our company’s holiday parties in the past so I knew she was the person I wanted to plan my wife’s 50th birthday. We would meet at a hotel close to my work in a hotel lounge to discuss the party. It was the same hotel the party was planned for. That way, all of our out of town family and friends could enjoy the party and not travel far for a good nights sleep. We only had to meet once a week in the beginning, but as her birthday was getting closer we met at least twice a week.
During this time I almost canceled the party because of my wife’s behavior turned to out right hostility toward me. But I hoped that the party would show her how much I really did love her and it would bring her back from the dark side. At least bring her back enough to stop her from being the screaming banshee that invaded the body of he woman I loved.
Rachel had verified that everyone was committed and ready to come in for a grand celebration. She was even making the phone calls, flight and hotel reservations for all our extended family. She really out did herself. As part of the thank you for doing such a great job, I invited her to bring her husband along turn the party over to her assistants and enjoy themselves at a party she planned.
In all about 100 family and friends committed to show for the party. My Sandy has always been a wonderful friend, mother/grandmother, co-worker and wife than anyone I knew. That was until recently.
The hollow point .38 Special looking at me should do the job right. Not much survives when I bullet of this style rips into flesh. Being fired from point blank range parts of the bullet may actually pass through my body, but the devastation left behind would make a coroner lose his lunch.
Most guys would say I’m an idiot for killing myself over a woman and it’s hard to disagree with them. But I had always thought my wife and I had a special marriage. We’ve been through a lot over our marriage. We started with nothing living in a trailer struggling to pay for rent and food. Those early days were filled with love and lots of sex. They say you can’t live on love alone, but we came damn close to it.
Eventually we both had some lucky breaks and our jobs gave us what we needed to save for a starter home. When our Jenna was born we were excited and scared at the same time. How were we going to provide for her and save for a home? It was hard but Jenna never had to do without. It took a little longer, but our down payment allowed us to buy a small 2 bedroom house in a decent neighborhood. It even had a yard big enough for Jenna to play outside.
Two years later Jenna had a baby sister to play with, Haley. Both girls were loved and loved us in return. Neither gave us trouble and excelled in school. They eventually met men good enough to be husbands and started their own families. Of course they wouldn’t miss their mother’s birthday party for anything in the world.
The morning before the divorce papers were served, my wife and I had a terrible fight. I lost my temper because she refused to talk to me and after spending another night sleeping on an uncomfortable easy chair I was too tired to take anymore crap.
I said some terrible things to her trying to hurt her like she had me. I actually said something about since she didn’t appreciate me maybe I would find someone who could. The look on her face showed I hit pay dirt with that one, but I immediately regretted it and tried to apologize but she turned around and left the house.
That day just so happened to be my wife’s birthday. I was so mad at her I totally forgot what day it was.
That afternoon is when I was served and my heart stopped. How could things have gone so bad in just two months? My phone calls to her cell were unanswered and the calls to her office were refused. My wife’s secretary, Blanch, wasn’t allowed to send my calls through either. We were friends and she was a co-conspirator for the party. She was tasked with keeping my wife’s schedule clear and to make sure she made it to the hotel on time.
She was unaware why my wife was behaving so badly. Whenever she attempted to try to get her to talk, my wife would just shake her head and start crying. She told me she would continue to work on her but assured me she would have my wife at the hotel even if she had to kidnap her to do it. Since her husband was a former pro lineman I knew she wasn’t kidding.
I wasn’t going to drag her into my marital problems so I didn’t tell her of the divorce.
Of course when someone receives divorce papers like I did, totally unexpected, I read the heading of he first page and went nuts. After the shock wore off, I became angry. I mean damn angry. I told my boss I was taking some time off and left. The small bag I already packed wasn’t going to be enough so I went home. My anger was still driving me and by now I was so pissed off, if Satan would himself stood in front of me and laughed I would rip his head off and shit down his neck. I packed everything. I mean every piece that was mine. I took off my wedding ring and placed it on the kitchen table along with a birthday card. That and my phone was all of mine left behind in a house I didn’t expect to ever see again.
The bags was thrown in the back of my SUV and everything else was in the trailer I towed behind me. I left town to the only place I had left. It would more than likely be my permanent home from this day forward so it was good that I was taking all of my possessions. It turns out I actually had very little. I guess it goes with my upbringing about living simply but live with love. Look where that got me.
Our cabin is located a hundred miles away in a very quiet area. A small town is close by where you can buy supplies and such, but not much more. It was here on the deck where I was staring down the barrel of my revolver trying to get the courage up to put a hole in my head.
After I got to the cabin I finally got around to reading the petition of divorce in the envelope. Inside I found a photograph of me sitting a table of a very attractive woman. There was no denying I had been caught. But not for what my wife thinks. The photo was of me sitting with Rachel planning my wife’s birthday party two weeks ago. It was the last time we met in the hotel bar. It also happens to be the night I caught a glimpse of a friend of my wife. I didn’t know it at the time but she thought I was cheating with Rachel.
The thought of my wife believing that I was cheating on her hurt me even worse than the divorce itself. If my wife had only told me that she no longer loved me and wanted to move on without me in her life would’ve hurt but I would have eventually moved on, but believing I cheated on her and not confronting me about it and just filing for divorce was just too much.
I couldn’t believe that bastard I’m married to. He acts like there’s nothing wrong and he loves me. Well fuck him! I won’t put up with it. If and I mean IF he confesses and begs forgiveness, I might keep him. I will make his life miserable and won’t allow him any pussy for months if not years, but he will beg for it every damn time!
Did he really think he wouldn’t get caught? Thank goodness for Beverly catching him in the hotel lounge. It’s hard to say how long its been going on but I have and idea. It had to have started two months ago when he started coming home late. That was when he probably started fucking that bitch.
.... There is more of this story ...