Bert had one dream in life, to become a great magician. He started off by performing magic tricks for is family and close friends. As a jobless adult, he attempted to earn a living with his hobby as “The Amazing Cazzo,” performing mediocre magic shows here and there earning barely enough cash to survive.
Now, it wasn’t that Bert couldn’t perform the tricks, but his weak skills and lack of confidence caused many problems. He would often drop cards during his card tricks, get caught palming items while attempting his sleight of hand, and there was a fifty-fifty chance that any trick he attempted to perform would fail. Despite his best efforts, the only trick he seemed to perform successfully was losing assistants, left and right.
In an act of desperation, he decided to post an ad on Craig’s List to find a new assistant. The ad simply read, “Wanted: magician’s assistant. Attractive female preferred. Experience not necessary. Contact ‘The Amazing Cazzo.’” Initially he got a few pranks from his fellow magicians, sending him their own assistants to embarrass and humiliate him. However, Bert was not to be deterred. A few serious candidates did come, only to quit a day or two later when the tricks failed, or they realized that ‘The Amazing Cazzo’ wasn’t all that amazing.
Bert was rehearsing at the only theater in town that would allow him to rent space in exchange for cleaning the theater, and failing as usual. He knew the handcuffs had an easy-to-release button, but for some reason, he couldn’t seem to get them to release. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but he had handcuffed himself to a chair with his hands behind his back, and he needed to use the restroom.
“Need a hand?” asked a woman’s voice that washed over him with a sensuality and warmth he’d never experienced.
Bert looked up to see a woman with long, curly raven hair, curves in all the right places, and legs in a pair of jeans that seemed to go on for days. “Well,” he replied with a grin and a blush, “now that you mention it, a little help wouldn’t hurt.”
The woman stepped over and quickly unlocked the handcuffs. “There ya go.”
It was now that Bert saw her large, violet eyes and found himself lost in them for a moment until his bladder made its desires known. “Excuse me,” he said and ran off the stage.
Once his needs had been met and his hands were washed, he returned. “Sorry about that. Now, what can I help you with?”
“I’m looking for ‘The Amazing Cazzo, ‘ I was told I could find him here.”
“All right! Who sent you?” he snapped.
“You heard me! Which one of those asshole magicians sent you? Was it Magical Steve? Max the Illusionist? Or Isaac the Supernatural?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said. “I saw an ad on Craig’s List for a magician’s assistant. The gal in the front told me he’d be back here. I’m guessing he’s you.”
“You’re a bright one, I’ll give ya that.”
“Look,” she said, “I can see you’re busy being handcuffed to a chair and shit, so I’ll leave now. And by the way, you had them on backward which is why you’re having trouble. I suggest you practice with them in the front so you can learn the feel of them. Muscle memory is the real trick with that one.”
The woman began walking away when Bert called out, “Wait!” The woman paused, Bert continued. “I’m sorry. May I try again? Hi, I’m Bert, to some, I’m The Amazing Cazzo. To most though, I’m the Amazingly Terrible Cazzo.”
The woman turned slowly and smiled. Bert was amazed at how her smile made her even lovelier than before. “Enchantra,” she replied.
“Why? What’s wrong with my name?” she asked.
“Nothing,” said Bert. “It’s almost too perfect to be the name of a magician’s assistant.”
“Does this mean I got the job?” asked Enchantra, sounding excited.
“Yeah sure ... why not. I’ll warn ya though, it doesn’t pay well and I doubt you’ll be here longer than a few days.”
Bert sat in the chair he had just been handcuffed in, hung his head, pushed his blonde hair out of his green eyes, and sighed. “Because ... I’m by far the worst magician in the world. The only thing I seem to do successfully is make audiences and assistants disappear.”
“Wow! That sounds like a great trick!”
“It’s not a trick, they leave and never return.”
“Oh,” said Enchantra, “well, when do I start?”
Bert looked up at Enchantra. Her named seemed to fit her, though Bert didn’t know why he felt that way. “Is now too soon?”
Bert taught Enchantra the few tricks he knew, explaining how they should work, showing her how he performed them. Enchantra watched and listened closely, making suggestions often. After weeks of rehearsal, Bert had booked a show with the local VFW as part of a variety show. They decided Enchantra needed a sexy costume so she went to a local shop where the other magician’s assistants went. Bert had his only tuxedo and cape dry-cleaned in time for the show, and even broke out his top-hat.
On the day of the show, there was an assortment of dancers, singers, and musicians. Bert was scheduled to perform early due his reputation. He was checking the props when Enchantra arrived wearing a flowing purple robe with a satiny sheen.
“Enchantra!” exclaimed Bert. “You came!”
“Of course,” she said, removing her robe.
“Woah!” exclaimed Bert.
Bert stood in shock with a slight erection upon seeing Enchantra in the form fitting purple and white one-piece, bare-left-shoulder, sparkling costume with small skirt that matched the satin robe she was wearing just a moment ago. A pair of sparkling purple heels and sequined stockings completed the look. “You ... you...”
“What? Is this not what I was supposed to wear?”
“Enchantra ... you ... you’re beautiful.”
“Really?” she said, blushing.
“I mean ... you were beautiful before ... but now ... wow!”
Enchantra smiled. “Really?”
A man stepped back and shouted, “The Amazing Cazzo! You’re next!”
Bert sighed, “Okay Enchantra, this is it.”
They moved the props to the stage, the curtain rose, and the show was on. The audience was just a few dozen old men, some in wheelchairs, and most were more interested in Enchantra than Bert at first. However, when his first trick was successful, Bert felt a new level of confidence. Soon, every trick he tried worked, bringing applause and raising his confidence.
“Are you ready for our big finale?” Bert asked Enchantra.
“I think so,” she said with a wink.
Their final trick was simple. Bert would cuff Enchantra and place her in a box. Then Bert would stand on the box with a sheet that surrounded the box, raise it over his head twice, and on the third time, Enchantra would be standing in his place and Bert would be cuffed in the box. They had practiced the trick and felt they had it mastered.
Bert carefully cuffed Enchantra, bringing forth a few cat-calls and wolf-whistles from the audience members. He helped her climb into the box and closed the lid. He grabbed the sheet and climbed onto the box.
“One!” he cried, raising the sheet over his head.
“Two!” he exclaimed, raising the sheet with Enchantra standing behind him.
“Three! It’s me!” exclaimed Enchantra who dropped the sheet and was standing on the box, naked, except for her sparkling purple heels.
There was a collective gasp from the audience. No one could believe their eyes. There before them was the beautiful raven-haired beauty in all her natural glory. Her firm, round breasts jutted out, topped by two proud pink nipples. Their eyes followed down to the narrow waist that topped her full hips and led to her neatly trimmed bush was a perfect triangle pointing toward her womanhood. Her beautiful long legs rested in the sparkling purple heels on her feet.
Enchantra smiled proudly at the successful trick, then looked down and giggled, “Oops!”
She knelt down, picked up the sheet, tossed it over her head, and was back in her entire costume including her stockings and shoes a moment later. She stepped down off the box to show Bert cuffed in the box she had just been standing on. As Bert rose from the box, the audience began applauding and cheering. Those who could stand, rose and gave them a standing ovation. Bert and Enchantra smiled as they took a few bows, and then left the stage.
The acts backstage were also applauding. Bert was sure it was because of his first successful show when someone shouted, “How did she do it?”
“Yeah!” shouted another. “That was a hell of a trick!”
Bert looked at Enchantra and whispered, “What are they talking about?”
Before Enchantra could answer, the stage manager stepped up and said, “Well Bert, I must admit, seeing your tricks finally work was one thing, but when your assistant lost her costume, well, those old vets just can’t stop buzzing about that. Think you two can come back next time and do the same show?”
Bert’s eyes grew wide as Enchantra said, “We’ve been working on that trick for weeks. I’m just glad I didn’t screw it up.”
“So how about it, Bert?”
Stunned, Bert managed to say, “Um ... yeah ... sure. Would you excuse us please?”
.... There is more of this story ...