Let me tell you a little about my wife CeeCee. She is tall and blonde – definitely blonde! I found out over time that she also had a little trouble connecting the dots. I met her a little over three years ago. She was in a bar with this asshole they were fighting over something. I don't usually interfere in peoples squabbles unless I am getting paid for it. That day though, the guy slapped her hard enough to knock her backward and into the chair behind her. That made her cry and I hate to see a woman cry.
I grabbed his shoulder with one hand and the seat of his pants with the other. I whirled him around and headed him for the door. Every step he took I raised him off the floor by pulling up the seat of his trousers. Unless he was wearing a jock strap he was sure to be hurting. The bar bouncer was holding the door open and I was gaining speed. Just as I got almost to the door the bouncer closed it. Ouch!
Not my problem; let the bouncer take care of the prick. Arms came around me and I was being kissed repeatedly. "You saved my life. Thank you. Oh this has been the worst day I have ever had."
"Let me buy you a drink and you can tell me about it."
"White wine please. I don't like beer and whisky makes me horny." She followed me to the bar and when I had the drinks in hand, she followed me back to the table.
"So tell me your problems
"I'm out of work and have been pounding the pavement for days. I don't know how many classifieds I have answered. This morning there was one in the paper about a retired judge who needed a house keeper. It stated the housekeeper needed to be young and attractive and this was a well paid position and the duties would be light. I'm an accountant and thought I could handle sweeping floors if the pay was good. That is until I found a position in my area of expertise.
"He called me 'my dear' and asked me to remove my clothes. Strange that, and I wondered, but I needed the money. You know what that judge wanted me to do? He wanted me to stay that way while I cleaned his house or so he said. He promised to show me his studio. Then he pinched my buns and fondled my breasts. He was rough and it hurt. I told him I didn't want the job and he offered me more money. I'm not working for anyone who hurts me, judge or no."
"That's awful! You left, I hope?'
"I did. I hated to because I'm broke. I wish I could get even with that old bastard."
"I'll give it some thought. Where are you living?"
"I have been crashing at a girlfriend's house. I have to leave tomorrow because her husband is due home. I don't know what I'm going to do after that."
"How come you were in the bar here with the guy who slapped you?'
"I think he was the judge's butler. I gave him my name when I got there. I guess he followed the taxi when I left. He talked to me when I got out of the cab, trying to get me to go back to the judge's house. He bought me a drink. Can you believe I think he was trying to get me drunk? I called him a name and told him he was worse than his boss. Can you really imagine someone doing that?"
"Terrible! Say, I have an apartment that needs cleaning. You wouldn't want the job would you?"
"I guess so. You aren't going to pinch me are you?"
"Nope, and you have to wear your clothes while you are working."
"Can I work for you just until I find a job?"
"Sure." I drove CeeCee over to her friend's house and we loaded up my car with her stuff. I was eyed pretty strongly by the friend and CeeCee was reminded that if I didn't treat her right she could come back and she would make room for her again. I moved CeeCee into my extra bedroom. I had not too long in the past had a live-in girlfriend, but she had traded up to a policeman with whom I was friendly. That friendship was now dead.
Three days later I came home and CeeCee was crying. "That judge has my name and he found I'm staying here. His butler came to see me. He threatened me saying I had stolen some money from the judge the day I was at his house. The judge said he wouldn't have me put in jail if I would go to work for him. I don't want to. I like living here with you."
"He must have a thing for you. We'll take care of him. You can help."
"Goody!" I decided to investigate this judge and I set about doing so.
I never knew what I was going to find when I reached home. My work took me out of the house at all different hours of the day and night. Living with CeeCee was an experience. Her mind seemed to follow a different path than everyone elses. I came home one night and CeeCee was crying. "What happened?"
"I broke all of our glasses. I was watching television and they were showing how to make a pyramid by stacking up glasses. I guess they have to be all the same shape and kind. You need to buy fifteen new ones so I can show you how nice it looks."
"Okay." Things like this were not unusual, but my house was clean so I didn't mind. I will say one thing about CeeCee, she did know how to keep books and accounts. She was trained in accounting. I never knew before I turned things over to her if I was making or losing money. I had always flown by the seat of my pants. She had a good figure, was good at figures ... go figure, but she had a few things missing somewhere.
It was soon a dark and stormy night when I said, "CeeCee, I need to have you drive me to a job. You have to follow my orders exactly or I'm in trouble." This was "get even night" for CeeCee but I hoped she didn't know it. The judge was still after CeeCee. He wouldn't give it up. I had investigated the bastard and I even found out what the studio she mentioned was for. I found him to be a pervert and more. CeeCee wasn't his only victim.
"I can do that." I was wearing dark clothes and I had a back pack with items I thought I needed. I coasted my car to a stop two estates down from the judge's home.
"Now CeeCee, we need to match up our watches. I want you to drive around for exactly one half hour and meet me right here at 10:30. Can you do this? Remember, 10:30 right here."
"No problem. 10:30 right here. What are you going to be doing?"
"You don't have to know, okay?"
"Sure Dick, and I'll follow directions exactly like you said. 10:30 on the dot."
God, I hoped so, but you never knew for sure with CeeCee. I watched for a minute as she pulled away. Why did I have a have bad feeling?
I quickly made my way behind the two other estates. There was only one light on in the judge's three-story house. It was on the second floor. The judge was still awake. I stopped before crossing to the back door of the house and donned a disguise. Just a fake mustache, cap and horn rimmed glasses. I hoped I wouldn't even need these. Just as I suspected, I found a window with just the screen latched. I made fast work of cutting a small incision and reached in and opened the window.
I went room to room. On the first and third floors, I didn't discover anyone else. Aha, the judge was alone. The second floor held what looked like a home movie set. When I eased open the door where the judge was watching something on the TV, I could understand. He was watching a porno movie and I recognized the location from across the hall it had been made in. Ooh, what a dirty old man!
Time to start things rolling. I went up the back stairwell and tossed an incendiary canister into the judge's bedroom. I ran down the three flights and tossed another into the kitchen. I hammered on the front door, banging it open just as if I had broken in. The judge heard me and came to the head of the stairs. I shouted, "Hey, your house is burning. You had better get out now. I'll call 911."
I grabbed the phone on the hall table and made the call. The judge came rushing down the stairs and he could see the conflagration in the kitchen. He stood there, not knowing which way to turn. I grabbed him and pushed him out the front door. I sat him next to a tree by the sidewalk. He looked uncomfortable so I grabbed a porch rocker for him to sit in. "I'll check the back. The fire department will be here soon."
By now the whole top floor was engulfed in flames. The first floor was fast catching up. I went around behind the house and across the back lots the same way I had arrived. My disguise went into my backpack and I walked out onto the street. CeeCee should have been here, and I needed her now. I couldn't stand there with all the excitement going on without someone being curious. I started walking up the street in the direction she was supposed to be coming from. Two fire engines went by and still no CeeCee.
Finally after twenty minutes beyond the time I said we should meet, I saw her coming down the street. I stepped out and flagged her down. "Where have you been? You're late."
"I know, but I was hungry. I didn't think it mattered. I went by this hamburger place and they smelled so good, I stopped and got us each one." What could I say, this was typical CeeCee. "Oh look, there must be a fire. Can we go and watch it?"
"No, not tonight." I don't think CeeCee was aware at all of why we were even here. Thank God for that.
Two weeks later I came home and she said, "You know, I think that judge got the message that I wouldn't work for him. He hasn't tried to contact me lately. Before this it was about every two or three days he'd call." Didn't she know? The subject never came up again.
I never made a move on CeeCee. I felt like I was her caregiver or babysitter, but she did grow on me. What a body she had. It got a little better for me. I helped find her a job in an accounting firm. She was so happy. She showed me her first paycheck with a note from the boss that said how well she was doing.
The next night when I came home there was no supper waiting. There was however a bottle of Maker's Mark, an ice bucket, and two glasses on the table. "Dick, I love living here with you. I thought we would have a drink to celebrate. You never scream at me and you treat me so nice. I told you once how whiskey made me feel, but I'll risk it." It still made CeeCee horny and in turn she made me feel the same way. A month later, we were married.
That's the background:
You know women are stupid sometimes. I mean what woman would cheat on her husband when she knew he was a private detective and had all the tools of surveillance at his disposal. Also he might be anywhere in the city at any given time of day or night. Yeah, that's me, Dick Trouper, PI.
I was returning from where I had been picking up some evidence about some dumb ass that was cheating his partners by skimming ten percent off the top of their business. I had called CeeCee earlier and she informed me that she was going out of town to visit her mother. We had been married for three years and up until this time, happily.
I had a bunch of different cars that I used and the particular one I was in today had never been driven home. It happened to be a five-year-old Chevy. Anyway, I was cruising along near the outskirts of the city when CeeCee's car blew by me and a mile farther down the street she turned into a motel parking lot. It was almost six in the early evening and she should have been thirty miles away at her mother's.
I pulled into the lot and parked and watched my wife get out of her car and head toward the entrance of number twelve on the first level. She looked neither right nor left and reaching her objective, she knocked lightly. The door opened and from where I was sitting, I recognized her boss. He had a pleased look on his face. I couldn't see hers, but I imagined it held the same.
I had seen too much about the seamier side of life in my line of work and could imagine the drill that was going to take place shortly, without having to see it. But I did need evidence so I got out of my vehicle and walked behind the motel to number twelve. This wasn't the most modern motel and it didn't have central air. It had a window unit.
Returning to my car, I rummaged around in the trunk finding a flexible camera lead. I made sure it worked by plugging the receiving unit into my dash console, which it did. I took it around back and wiggled it through a little gap where the conditioning unit met the window sash. The unit was humming away merrily so I knew I wouldn't be discovered with what was probably holding the two people's interests inside. I went back again to the car and watched the monitor.
I wish I had sound, for my wife was acting mighty reluctant and I couldn't tell what was being said. This was not at all what I had expected to see. Her boss, Matt Cooper, had disrobed already and was slowly taking my wife's clothes off. I still wasn't sure if she was acting coy or if she was being forced, albeit not given a choice in the matter. When she was down to her underwear, she picked up her handbag and rushed into the john.
I immediately rang her cell number. "CeeCee, one question. Are you being blackmailed or are you there of your own free will?"
"Dick, I'm not being blackmailed. Well, in way I am and in another way; I'm paying a debt. Where are you? I've decided I don't want to go through with this."
"Is there a lock on the bathroom door?"
"Yes, I locked it when I came in. Where are you?"
"Never mind where I am. Look, stay in the bathroom. You may have to stay in there all night. Or you can go out and join Matt and continue doing what you are in that sleazy motel room for. It is your choice. Either way, I think you have some explaining to do.
"I'll stay in the bathroom. Matt is already pounding on the door and making comments about how he wants me and needs me."
"Give me his cell number. Maybe I can cool him off."
"I don't know what it is. I only know his home phone number."
"Give me that, then."
I rang the number CeeCee supplied me with. "Mrs. Cooper, this is Dick Trouper. You know, CeeCee's husband. I need to talk to Matt. Could you give me his cell number?"
"Yes, of course. Is CeeCee sick?"
"No, she is at her mother's. She called me and wants to relay a message to Matt. She doesn't have either his cell number or this number at home so she asked me to call, rather than go through directory assistance."
"Sure, you can reach him on his cell. Nothing too important is it?"
"I don't know and you will have to ask him about that. I'm just relaying a message."
Soon Matt's phone rang in his room. He was frustrated.
"Yah, what is it?" Matt was sounding so upset. I was watching him and he was still naked. He had been pounding on the bathroom door and couldn't understand why CeeCee wouldn't open it.
"Hi Matt, this is Dick Trouper. Do you know where CeeCee is? I was just talking to your wife. I told her I had to relay a message from CeeCee to you, but that was a lie. I can call your wife back and give her the truth. Maybe she would even like to join you at the motel where you are right this minute." I gave him a minute.
"Oh Matt, you do know that I was in the special forces in the service, don't you?"
"What do you want from me?"
"Well, I suspect you have something on my wife and I would like to know what it is."
"Look Dick, I've laid out a thousand dollars all ready. CeeCee offered to make up for me having to pay it. It was her idea."
"I can believe that, but knowing CeeCe I'm sure you are taking advantage of her. To remind you of the fact, I imagine she could use a little more money in her paycheck each week. Reports are that you are a cheapskate. You could fire her, but then I could still have a talk with your wife."
"What if CeeCee quits? Am I off the hook?"
"If you pay her enough, she most likely won't quit, but that is between you and her. No, I wouldn't say you were off the hook. She really likes you and likes working for you. If I were you, I would apologize to CeeCee and go home to your wife."
I could see Matt at the bathroom door talking earnestly while struggling to get his clothes on. When he was finally dressed he hurriedly came out and got into his car and drove away. "Hey CeeCee, your lover has gone home to his wife. Now it is time you went home to your husband and explained all of this. Maybe about how you got into this situation and why you went into a motel with another man. What did you do?"
"I don't know, Dick. Matt said I did a lot of things at the last Christmas party, but I don't remember that I did anything wrong. I love you, you know."
"The Christmas party was more than six months ago."
"Why didn't you tell me about this before now?"
"I should have. Dick, can I leave now? I want to come home to you."
"I don't know. I mean you went to a motel and you got naked for another man."
"I did not! I went into the bathroom before all my clothes were off." As she was talking I slowly pulled the camera out of the window opening and headed for my car.
I laughed. "So you say. I'll see you at home. Just be glad you have a home to come to. You know if I hadn't called when I did, you might be homeless." I hurried home and before CeeCee got there, I froze a frame and printed it out. It was of her bending over removing her slacks. What made it the more damaging was the image of Matt standing there naked with his prick out.
Two minutes later she came into the house. "Hi sweet, did you have fun at your mother's?"
"You know damned well I wasn't at my mother's. How did you find me?"
"You passed my car just before you turned into the motel. I saw Matt open the door when you knocked. You better tell me what has been going on. I could divorce you with what I saw you do tonight."
"We didn't do anything. You called while I was locked in the bathroom and before I was all the way undressed."
I slid the image of her that I had taken off the camera feed showing him without clothes and her about to be naked. "You are lying to me."
"No, Dick, that was what I had on when I went into the bathroom."
I shook my head as if I didn't believe her. "You better start from the beginning of how you came to be in that motel room. Telling me about last Christmas would be a good place to start."
"Okay, but you have to believe me that I haven't been unfaithful. Well, maybe just a little, but I'm still a virgin–or I was until I met you. Dick, you know how horny I get when I have been drinking. At the party this guy, and I don't even know his name, kept dragging me under the mistletoe. He would squeeze my boobs. Pretty soon all the men were doing it and it made me pretty hot.
"It wasn't long before some of them had me on the bench in the cloakroom. Guys were rubbing my breasts and one guy had his hand under my dress." Her head was down and she wouldn't look at me. "It felt awful good. Someone was taking pictures of me. Matt came screaming in and said he would fire them all if they didn't leave me alone.
The guys all left except Matt and he apologized all over the place. I kissed him for saving me. Dick, don't blame Matt for tonight. A week ago he got a picture of me in the mail. That picture was of me at my worst and he contacted the sender. He paid over a thousand dollars for the rest of the pictures. I was planning on thanking him for doing that tonight, but I thought of you and couldn't go through with it."
Now you have to understand that CeeCee isn't the brightest candle in the candelabra. She even admits it herself. "You aren't going to hurt Matt are you? I know you can, but I think he is a little bit in love with me, so you will have to excuse him. Please Dick?"
It may have been odd, but I believed my wife totally. It comes from knowing CeeCee for so long. "Well, we will see. Let's eat. I'm hungry. Mix yourself a drink and open me a beer while I phone for pizza. You better get a good night's sleep because you have to work tomorrow."
"I'm not drinking anything, ever again. What, you're telling me I can still go back to work? How come?"
"I'm dealing with Matt in my own way, and oh yeah, you're getting a raise too." I ended up getting a lot of loving that night.
"Mr. Trouper, this is Caroline Cooper. I have something to discuss with you. Where can we meet?"
"Here at my office at your convenience. What would this be about?"
"Your wife and my husband would be the subject. I'll see you in a half hour."
I had met Caroline on a few occasions, but had never passed the time of day with her. The phone call the other night was the first time I had spoken directly to her. I waited for her to arrive, wondering what this was all about. I watched her from the window as she swung her legs out of the little MG she drove. Short dress and long legs. I noticed. I held the door open as she entered. "Mrs. Cooper."
"Call me Caroline. I'll call you Dick or Richard if you prefer."
"Dick would be fine. Coffee? It's good, I just made a pot." I poured her a cup and she waved off the sugar and cream. "Now, what can I do for you?"