It was Friday night at the Alhambra Lounge. There was a large crowd and everyone was having a good time. The joint was jumping as some might say. Even though I was sitting at the bar with a vodka tonic in my hand I wasn't there to drink and dance. I was there to do something ill-advised and I fully expected to get in trouble because of it. Trouble that could possibly see me in a jail cell.
As I nursed my drink my eyes were on a couple sitting on the other side of the room. I'd had my eye on them for almost an hour. They, or more to the point he, was the reason I was there. I knew he would be there because he was a creature of habit. He was there every Friday night; probably to show support for his wife's brother whose band played at the Alhambra every weekend.
Finally what I was waiting and hoping for happened. The song was a slow waltz and the couple got up and moved out onto the floor. I gave them a minute or so to get into the rhythm and then I got up and went out onto the floor. I approached him from behind, tapped him on the shoulder and said:
"May I cut in?"
He turned to see what kind of an asshole would try to cut in on him and his wife. As soon as he was facing me I punched him in the mouth. Okay, it was a sucker punch, but so what? I put my full two hundred pounds and a month's worth of anger and rage behind the punch and he went straight to the floor. He landed with his legs open and I took advantage of that and kicked him hard in the crotch.
His wife stood there looking on in horrified disbelief, but her hand automatically reached for what I'd taken out of my pocket and offered her. She looked at the picture of her husband fucking my wife and the look of horrified disbelief turned to rage and she kicked her downed husband several times in the stones with the pointy toe of her 4" CFMs as I walked back to my seat at the bar and waited to see if the law would arrive and want to talk to me.
Apparently no one called the cops, but I did have someone who wanted to talk to me. A couple of someone's actually. First it was the brother. The band took their break right after they finished the song his sister and brother in law were dancing to. He came up to me and I could see he wasn't going to be belligerent so I sat there, sipped my drink and waited. When he got to me he asked:
"Why did you nail Jim?"
I took a picture out of my pocket and gave it to him to look at.
"The woman is my wife" I said.
He looked at the picture and handed it back to me.
"I've told Norma all along that he was an asshole. Now maybe she will believe me."
"I guess I was wrong."
"I assumed that he was here every Friday to show support for your band, but it doesn't sound like you have that kind of relationship."
"You are right on that. I can't stand the asshole and he knows it. The reason that he is here every Friday is that my deal with management includes free drinks for all of my relatives on Friday. So why are you sitting here? I would have thought that you would want to get out of here after smacking him."
I figured that the cops would be called and I'd rather they get to me here than at the house."
"Not likely that anyone called them. He isn't all that well liked and in fact quite a few of the people here tonight probably enjoyed the show. Got to go join the boys. Don't be a stranger" he said as he left to find the rest of the band.
I watched a couple of guys help dipshit get off the floor and help him over to his booth and while that was happening his wife came over to me.
"Got any more of these?" she asked holding up the photo that I had given her.
"Couple of dozen" I said, "And two hours of video."
"Can I get copies?"
"You certainly can."
"You know that you have created a problem for me tonight right?"
"I would think that cluing you in would end a problem for you."
"Not that. He can't drive me home in the condition he is in and even if he could I wouldn't let him in the house."
"No problem; I'll drive you home."
"I'm ready to leave now."
Once in my car I said, "Your brother told me that your name was Norma so since I know yours I guess you should know mine. I'm Bob Lloyd."
"Given the circumstances I can't say that I'm really all that glad to make your acquaintance, but it a way I guess that I am somewhat happy to meet you."
"Oh? That sounds a bit strange."
"I'm happy because you gave me a gift tonight."
"A gift? I don't understand."
"You have given me my freedom. I've known that Jim has been cheating on me for a couple of years now, but I haven't had the means to hire a private detective to get me the proof. What you gave me tonight is just what I need to dump his sorry ass."
"Sounds like my story. I've suspected that Vykki has been cheating on me for quite some time, but I didn't have enough money to hire someone until a month ago. My grandfather passed away and left me some money. I never told Vykki how much so I was able to use some of it to get the goods on her."
When we reached her house she said, "I'd like to invite you in, but I'm afraid you might take it the wrong way."
"You might think I wanted to get revenge on Jim by sleeping with another guy and I picked you to do it with. That is not why I would like to ask you in. What I want is to be able to pick your brain for all you know about Jim and what he has been doing."
"You would be safe with me. If I were to climb into your bed I would be no better than Vykki and I won't allow myself to sink to that level."
I followed her into her house and into the living room. She pointed at the couch and asked if I would like a drink or should she put the coffee on.
"Coffee would be fine for me. I don't want to stay here too long. If I'm here when your husband gets here I might just go after him again."
"He won't come home. Before I walked away from him I told him not to come home. I told him if he did I would shoot him."
"Would you really do that?"
"Probably not, but he knows I'm pissed and he knows my temper when I'm pissed and he also knows I have a hand gun."
"You have a gun?"
"You sound surprised."
"It's just that outside of cops I've never known a woman who has a gun."
"I bought it for protection when I'm taking the day's receipts to the night deposit drawer at the bank. It's a Llama .380. Looks like a baby .45 and Jim knows that I know how to use it."
As she headed for the kitchen to make the coffee I had to ask myself why her husband was fucking my wife when he had something like Norma at home. She was a sexy looking woman and if I wasn't still tied to Vykki I could see myself going after her. Oh well, I wasn't going to be tied to Vykki too much longer and then who knows? Norma came back and sat down next to me on the couch.
"Coffee will be ready in about five. So; how long has Jim been seeing your wife?"
"A month that I know of. That's when I put the PI on her, but it could have been longer. Thinking back on it our marriage seemed to change about two years ago, but I've been really suspicious of Vykki for a little over a year now. I believe that she has been cheating on me since I noticed the change in our relationship. Jim could be the only one or he could be one of many. He just happened to be the one I caught her with."
"What did she say when you confronted her?
"I haven't done that yet. I guessing that she will is going to find out I know when your husband calls her tomorrow. I'm curious to see how she handles it."
"You've known for a month and you have let her keep on doing it?"
"When I found out for sure I went to an attorney to get the information about getting a divorce. It seems that we live in a state that has no fault divorce laws. Doesn't matter who does what to cause the split a no fault divorce is cut and dried. You split everything fifty-fifty. I don't give a damn about what the laws say. I'm not going to see Vykki rewarded for stabbing me in the back. Once I found out how the divorce would go down I started moving some things around and hiding things. Vykki might get fifty percent, but it will fifty percent of a lot less that there was a month ago."
"So what can you tell me about Jim and your wife?"
They meet every Monday and Thursday. Those are the two nights that Vykki supposedly plays cards with some sorority sisters from her college days and attends meetings of a book club that she supposedly belongs to at the library."
"Those are the nights that Jim is supposed to be bowling and attending lodge meetings."
"He spent three nights at my place when I had to go out of town on a business trip. That's where the videos that I have come from. I don't know if that was the first and only time, but I average one business trip a month so it could have been a regular thing for them."
"I guess that explains Jim's sudden business trips. They always seemed to be sudden, but I never even thought they were fake."
"What are you going to do?"
"Dump his worthless ass, only I'm not going to give him time to hide assets. First thing Monday morning I'm getting a lawyer, It is just too damned bad that they don't work on Saturday or I'd see one tomorrow."
"Actually I do know one who works on Saturday. If you are serious I can put you in touch."
"I'm serious alright!"
I took out my cell phone and hit a speed dial number. When the call was answered I put the phone in speaker mode and said, "You can stand down. I won't need you to bail me out."
"How did you manage that?"
"I guess he wasn't all that well liked and nobody bothered to call the cops."
"You have got to be one of the luckiest men I know."
"I'll take all the luck I can get bro. I'm on speaker and I'm with the asshole's wife right now and she told me that if there were any attorneys working on Saturday she would be waiting at their door when they opened in the morning. I know you don't usually chase ambulances, but would you like to take her case?"
"Are you kidding? With all the stuff you have on her husband it will be a slam dunk."
"Okay then; Norma met my fraternity brother Sam Medway. Sam, meet Norma."
I handed her the phone and then asked where the bathroom was and then left to use it and give her some privacy. When I finished taking care of business I went back. The phone was still on speaker so I said:
"We got it all covered. You take care. I'm going to bed. Talk to you later" and he broke the connection. I put my phone back in my pocket and Norma said, "Sam told me he would file on Monday morning and have Jim served at work that afternoon. He said he could do it that quick because all he has to do is copy your paperwork and put my information in place of yours. Is your wife going to be served on Monday also?"
"That's the plan."
"Then the dance starts."
"Vykki will not go quietly. She will get an attorney and fight the divorce. She will throw up every roadblock that she can and I'll do my best to work around them. Sam says she will probably try to get the court to order counselling. She can't stop the divorce, but she will figure if she can make it too expensive for me I just might drop it."
"Not a chance in hell. I might have been able to get by a onetime indiscretion, but a long affair? Not going to happen. Then there are the things she said about me in their pillow talk. And since I will be giving you a copy of everything I have I'll warn you ahead of time that you don't come off too well in their pillow talk either. It makes me wonder why they even stayed with a couple of losers like us."
"I know only too well why Jim stays with me. I'm the money in this family and the sweet part, at least for me, is that I won't have to suffer all of the no fault bullshit. I've got an ironclad prenuptial agreement."
"If you are the money why couldn't you have hired a private detective?"
"The money is in a trust fund that I don't get until I'm thirty and I've still got sixteen months to wait. I can draw on it for medical and educational expenses but that's it until I'm thirty. But it is more than that. I make a third more at my job than Jim does at his and it is my money that allows us to live in the style that we do. But even at that there is no extra that I could pull out to pay for an investigator. It is probably partially my fault that Jim took up with your wife."
"How is that?"
"If I had let him know that I was suspicious when I first thought he was cheating he might have stopped. The pre-nup was quite specific when I came to adultery. He knew full well what he would lose if I caught him. But then I guess that is a good indication of what he thinks about me. That I'm too stupid and clueless to ever catch on to what he was doing. When can I get copies of what you have?"
"Sam has it all. When you go in to sign the paperwork tell him I said to give you copies."
I looked at my watch and said, "I've got to get going. Can I call you from time to time to see how things are going?"
"I certainly hope you will. Again, I want to thank you for the gift you've given me. Maybe you will let me take you to dinner some night as a way of thanking you."
"I'd like that. I'll give you a call when the dust settles at my house. I have no idea what I'm going home to. Your hubby might have recovered enough to give Vykki a call. I hadn't planned on letting her know I was wise to her until she was served with the divorce papers on Monday. I guess I should have thought of that before going after your husband. Oh well, too late to worry about that now."
When I got home Vykki seemed her normal self so I guessed she hadn't received a phone call from her lover. She greeted me with a kiss and then asked me why I was late. I told her that Al (my boss) had wanted to celebrate signing the Johnson contract so we stopped and had a couple of drinks.
"I called to let you know, but you didn't answer your cell or the home phone."
"I walked off and left my cell on my desk at work. I never heard the home phone ring. Have you eaten?"
"I had a ground round with the drinks so I'm okay."
"What have we got?"
"Come on into the bedroom and I'll show you."
I looked at her and since I didn't say anything she must have thought I was a little slow on the uptake and she said, "We haven't made love in almost a week and I'm feeling a little needful."
I had known what she meant, but my hesitation was because I was considering if I wanted to do it or not. Vykki was not one of my favorite people at the moment, but then I decided that I'd better take what I could get while I could get it. Only God knew how long it might be before I would get laid again after Vykki was served. I smiled at her and said:
"I'll race you."
Once we got to the bedroom you would never have known from her actions that she considered me worthless in bed. I learned that from the video I had of her and her lover. According to what she'd told him I a little dick and had never come even close to satisfying her like he did. I was the original 'minute man' and I'd get myself off in under a minute and then roll over and go to sleep on her. I wasn't man enough to eat her pussy and she thought I was going to have a heart attack the one time she mentioned that she would like to try anal and that I hadn't touched her for weeks after she asked. All absolute bullshit! I did all of those things and I had never, not once, rolled over and gone to sleep on her and I didn't think that my cock was all that small. I readily admit that I'm nowhere close to huge, but I considered that I was average with six and a half inches.
The only thing that might have been true was that I couldn't satisfy her. I'd always thought that I had. If I hadn't then Vykki was one hell of an actress to be able to fake all of the orgasms that I thought I'd given her. But there had to have been a reason for her to stray so maybe I didn't satisfy her. Maybe she was a closet nymphomaniac, but that didn't seem likely or she would have needed a lot more than she was getting from the asshole.
I started by doing what she told asswipe that I wouldn't do. I went down on her and ate her to an orgasm and then I moved up and slid my 'little dick' into her and fucked her to another orgasm and by the bedside clock it took the 'minute man' eleven hard at it minutes to get the job done. Next I moved into a sixty-nine and let Vykki get me stiff again. Once hard I did another thing that my lying whore of a wife said I wouldn't do. I took her ass. I got her off two more times before I got my second nut of the night. Eighteen minutes for that one.
Then, for the first time in married memory I did do something that Vykki had told her lover that I always did. I rolled over and went to sleep. I wondered how Vykki took that. It was the first time ever that I didn't snuggle up to her after making love and fall asleep with her in my arms. I hoped that she laid awake thinking about it and wondering – or maybe worrying – about the change.
Or Saturday ritual was to wake up, shower and then go out for breakfast, but on that Saturday Vykki changed the program. She woke me up with a blow job which was something that she hadn't done in years and I wondered if it was because of the way I had ended the previous evening. Was she concerned over the fact that I hadn't behaved normally by rolling away and going to sleep? I'd probably never know, but I did go along with the flow. Once again because I had no idea when I'd get laid again after Vykki got served on Monday. The blow job led to morning sex which led to a shower which in turn led us back to the bed and we never did make it out for breakfast and had to settle for lunch instead.
I spent the rest of the day doing the usual weekend chores like cutting the grass, pulling weeds out of the flower beds and washing the cars. It was a good thing that I had made the decision to take what I could get while I could get it. Over dinner Vykki informed me that playtime was over for a while, Aunt Flo had come to visit a day earlier than expected. Sunday was a normal day and I spent it working around the house. Around noon Vykki's mother came over to pick her up to go shopping. Once they were gone I gave Norma a call to see how things were going on her end. She told me that she had gone to Sam's office and signed the necessary papers to start the divorce. She had gotten the copies of the pictures and videos and had gone home and checked them out.
"I was just in the right mood when Jim came home. He came in the house like nothing had happened and I told him to leave. He told me that it was his house as much as mine and he wasn't going anywhere. I left the room and came back a minute later with my pistol and told him that he had until the count of ten to get out the door. I told him that if he was still there by the time I reached ten he would start leaking red stuff. He could see on my face that I meant it and he got the hell out of there."
"Would you really have done it?"
"After hearing that shit he said about me on those videos? Bet your ass I would have! How are things at your place?'
"Peaceful. Apparently Vykki hasn't heard from your husband. Either that or she is one hell of an actress, but when I stop to think about it I guess she is. She has had me convinced for years that she was a faithful and loving wife. Oh well, live and learn. Did Sam tell you when he would have your papers ready?"
"He said he would file with the court first thing in the morning and have Jim served whenever I wanted. I don't know what your plans are, but I told him to serve Jim at work sometime in the afternoon."
"That was my plan also. Of course I was hoping that it would be a huge surprise for her, but surprise isn't likely now."
"Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it for you."
"You didn't. I ruined it myself by going after your husband on Friday night. Even if your hubby doesn't call her he will let her know that I'm onto her when they get together to talk when they get to work on Monday. The important thing is that it will be over with except for the court shit and I can start getting on with my life."
"Can we get together Monday evening? I'll buy you that dinner I promised and we can have a drink or two to celebrate."
"I won't know until late tomorrow if I can. I'll be busy moving out of the house as soon as Vykki goes to work. The house is hers. It was given to her by her parents when they retired and moved to Arizona."
"I'll hold it open. Give me a call if you can't make it."
Even though the house was in Vykki's name it was still going to be fought over in the divorce. When her parent's gave her the house it still had a mortgage on it and Vykki assumed the mortgage. It might be in her name, but it was my paychecks that made up half of the mortgage payments. I intended to try and get some of that money back and Sam had told me that I had a better than average chance of making it happen. When Vykki got home from shopping she fixed dinner and after eating we sat on the couch and watched TV until bedtime. Once in bed Vykki snuggled up to me for what was going to be the last time.
In the morning I kissed Vykki goodbye and she told me that she would probably beat me home from work and have dinner ready when I got home. She naturally assumed that I would be going to work, but she was wrong. I'd taken the day off and I planned on being moved out of the house by the time Vykki got home from work. I hit a local restaurant for some breakfast and to give Vykki time to leave for work. After eating I went to the house, made sure that Vykki was gone and then I went inside, called my brother and then started to pack my things.
My brother Tom showed up thirty minutes after I'd called him and by one we had everything of mine out of the house and stored in Tom's garage. It would sit there until I could find a place to live. Tom and his wife Pat were going to let me stay in one of their spare bedrooms until I could find a place. I'd called Sam and he told me that the plan was to serve Vykki and Norma's husband at two-thirty.
On a whim I called Norma and asked if she would like some company while waiting for the phone calls we expected to receive after our spouses were served and she told me to come on over. I got to her place a little after two and as we sat at her kitchen table and sipped iced tea we talked about what we thought would happen when the two cheaters were served. I predicted that Vykki would call me and tell me that I was blowing things all out of proportion and that we needed to sit down and talk.
"Are you going to" Norma asked.
"No. All Vykki will do is lie to me and tell me all the usual shit cheaters spout when they are caught. It isn't what I think, she loves only me, and we can get by it and all the other bullshit in the cheater's handbook. She has been lying to me ever since she started up with your husband and maybe even with other lovers before him. I won't believe a word she says so why should I waste my time talking to her?"
"That pretty much sums up what I expect to hear from Jim. Can we talk about something other than those two shitheads?"
"Of course we can. How about those Broncos?"
I tossed that out as a joke, but she surprised me when she said, "It all depends on how Manning plays. He has been a bit erratic these last two seasons. And so far this year he seems interception prone. If he can get his shit together the donkeys could go all the way."
I was impressed. She had summed up my thoughts exactly. [Authors note – at the time of this writing the Broncos were 6-0]. We started talking football and were discussing Denver's defense when my cell phone rang. I saw from the screen that it was from Vykki and I glanced at my watch and saw that it was two thirty-five.
"Show time" I said and put the phone in speaker mode as I took the call.
"Good afternoon. This is Bob."
"What in the fuck is with this divorce shit?"
"It is what one usually does when he finds out that his so called loving wife is a cheating slut."
"Where the hell do you get off calling me a cheating slut?"
"Isn't that what you were doing when you were fucking Jim? And by the way, his wife feels the same way. I say that in case you weren't around when he was served."
"Fucking Jim? Where the hell did you get that sick idea from?"
"From the pictures and video tapes my private detective got for me."
"I do hope that you aren't going to try and tell me that it is all a mistake. That it isn't you in the pictures and video. I might, just might, buy that you have a look alike cousin or something like that, but there isn't any way you can sell me that Jim also has a double and that your double and his double just happened to get together and they are who my PI got the goods on. Face it Vykki; you are busted."
"We will talk about this when we get home tonight."
"No we won't. When you get home you will find that I have moved out. All communication between us from this point on will have to be through my attorney. Goodbye Vykki."
Just as I broke the connection Norma's phone rang and she looked at the screen.
"It's Jim. He never calls me during the day." She laughed and said, "I wonder what the emergency is?"
She took the call and put the phone on speaker. "Hello?"
"It's me. What the hell is this divorce shit?"
Norma said to me, "They must be reading from the same script."
"What?" her hubby asked.
"I was just telling Bob that it sounds like you and your slut girlfriend are reading from the same script. What you said when I answered the phone is almost word for word what she said when she called him."
"Who is this Bob guy?"
"I'm your sluts about to be ex-husband" I said.
"Why are you with my wife?"
Norma answered saying, "We are watching the videos that his private detective got of you and his wife and we have been critiquing your performance. We have pretty much decided that the two of you couldn't make it in the porn industry."