"Well, hello there," a voice said from the darkness.
"Who are you?" a second, younger voice asked.
"I'm sure you recognise the voice," the first voice said. "I chose it especially for you."
"You sound like the actor who played Loki," the second voice replied. "But that isn't possible."
"Anything is possible," the first voice stated.
"Where am I?" the second voice asked.
"Oh, we're in your bedroom," the first voice said and suddenly the lights came on to reveal two nondescript people in what appeared to be a bedroom. One of them was sitting in the chair at the desk while the other reclined on the bed.
"This isn't my bedroom," the second voice said from his position by the desk.
"True. It just lacks that inherent lived in feeling," the first voice agreed from the bed. "But then again, you're not actually among the living anymore."
"Excuse me?" the second voice exclaimed.
"Oh, pardon my manners," the first voice apologised mockingly. "You're dead."
"What do you mean, I'm dead?" the second voice practically screeched. "How can I be dead if we are both in my bedroom?"
"I thought you just said this wasn't your bedroom," the first voice said snidely. "You really should make up your mind."
"How about you give me some goddamn answers?" the second voice retorted in a suddenly angry tone.
"There we go, that's what I'm looking for," the first voice said. "That unpredictably and that anger. They will serve you well. If you accept of course."
"Accept what?" the second voice wondered.
"My offer," the first voice said.
"You haven't offered me anything but smart retorts," the second voice pointed out. "And if we are going to talk about offers, I think I need a name for you. Unless you would prefer being referred to as a voice in my head?"
"It wouldn't be the first time for that," the first voice said and suddenly his form flashed bright green and Tom Hiddleston, in full Loki getup, was reclining on the bed. "There, that is better. You can call me Loki."
"Loki?" the second voice scoffed. "Loki is a mythological figure. He isn't real."
"Hmm," said 'Tom/Loki' before suddenly reaching out and slapping the second voice across the face. "Feels pretty real to me."
"Right, so, Loki," the second voice remarked, rubbing his cheek. "You don't look how I was expecting you to look."
"Would you prefer this?" Loki offered. A flash of light later and a naked Asa Akira was reclining on the bed. "Is this better?" she asked derisively.
"Well, it's a start," the second voice noted. "You were talking about an offer."
"I was," Loki confirmed, changing back to Tom Hiddleston. "My offer is a job offer."
"A job offer?" the second voice. "I already have a job."
"A job, a life, even a name," Loki noted casually, waving his hand through the air. "Well, at least, you did. Remember, you're dead."
"Right," the second voice responded. "Dead. So if I have no life and no name, what good am I to you then?"
"Adaptability, good," Loki ticked off. "And it makes you perfect."
"I don't see how," the second voice protested.
"You will, maybe," Loki proclaimed. "But first, a little story."
"I love a good story," the second voice said sarcastically. "Please, do tell."
"You're beginning to remind me of me," Loki said with a smile. "Like all good stories, this one started long ago, before this world, this galaxy, even this universe even existed. There was a race of beings, almost innumerable in quantity that existed. They started small, like most civilisations, but they grew, rapidly. Eventually, they learned to change their physical forms from the somewhat crude matter that most beings are made of into energy, surpassing the constraints of even time."