Hi folks. This one is a bit different. A couple of weeks ago my wife and I were entertaining some friends. The question that started this story arose. That question was whether or not any of us had actually ended up with the very first person we fell for. Almost all of us including AK and I had nothing but horror stories about it. I asked a few other people and got even more anecdotes. This story is the blending of some of those. Now unlike in the story all of these things didn't befall one person or one couple, but they did all happen. I just sort of blended them all into one tale, with a healthy dose of poetic license. That's why I consider this a form of blended reality because it did really happen. This is another very long story so I'd advise breaking it up into sections or just downloading it. Thanks as always to the great Barney-R for his editing wizardry.
Nuff Said. SS06
If Karma is a bitch, then fate must be a mother fucker. There is no other way to explain the types of things that keep happening to me. I seem to be fated to have my heart ripped out of me, and my life turned upside down every few years by the same woman.
Most of my longtime friends think that it's simply a case of bad timing, or bad luck. But, none of them knows the real story. If they did, they'd probably start asking me for money because I have to be the world's biggest sucker.
It started out in high school. Well ... I was in high school anyway. I was relatively popular and that popularity sometimes got me in trouble. The previous week I'd gotten popped for putting flyers for my band's upcoming party gig on the bulletin board at school.
A crowd had gathered to watch as I quickly stapled the flyer on the school's upcoming events bulletin board directly under the sign that said, in plain English, "Post no Bills. It went on to note the penalty for unauthorized usage of the board could be detention or even suspension depending upon the gravity and number of offenses.
I turned around wearing a huge grin on my face to a round of applause from the crowd and the look of extreme disappointment on the face of the school's Assistant Principal. In this case, it was doubly bad because she was also my home room teacher and so much more.
Within moments, I was staring at her face across the wide expanse of her desk.
"What we're you thinking?" she asked.
"I ... Uhm..." I began.
"That's right," she said as if she had read my mind. "You weren't thinking. You must have lost your fu ... Lost your mind!"
I should use this opportunity to point out that less than two years from this point in the story, Ms. Erica Hopkins, who was at the time, no longer my teacher, became my step mother. We don't use the step though.
Her concern for me, even then though, bordered on obsessively maternal. She was very concerned with getting me into a good college, and this blight on my record wouldn't help that.
"You were just trying to impress those juvenile friends of yours again weren't you?" she asked.
"Uhm Ma'am ... I should point out that since we're only sixteen, we're all ... Uhm juveniles, technically," I said, keeping my face down.
"Grrrr," she growled a lot when she was upset. "When I said juvenile, I didn't mean in terms of age, you idiot. I meant that most of them have records and have spent time in fuc ... In Juvenile. You do not belong with them, Geo." She then gave me the stare. In the stare, she pursed her lips, leaned forward, and put one hand on her hip.
It was supposed to be intimidating, but I just thought it looked like she needed to be kissed.
I in turn gave her my most penitent, sick puppy look, and she melted immediately.
"Alright, Geo, get to class, before you're late," she said. "I expect another A on your Algebra test."
"Do I start the detention today?" I asked.
"What detention?" she asked. "I'm going to be a little bit more creative with your punishment this time. After all, you met your ... FRIENDS while you were in detention, didn't you? Who knows the next time you go there you might end up being pals with an axe murderer? Go to class."
I went to class thinking that she was letting me slide because she was practically my mom. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
Almost exactly one week to the day later, she exacted her punishment. As she went through the news about school events that morning, she asked me to stay after homeroom because I had been excused from all of my morning classes. I wondered what was going on. Most of my friends were nodding their heads thinking that I was once again getting the perks of having my dad in a relationship with a teacher.
They couldn't have been more wrong. From the smirk on her face, I knew that I was in for it. What I didn't realize and neither did she, was the effect that it would have on my life.
She gave me a piece of paper to look at. "Do you know where all of these places are?" she asked. I nodded my head.
"Good, I want you to go to each of those places at the times next to them on the list," she said.
"I can get to these places much quicker than these times," I said. I think I was trying to show her that I was willing to work to regain her favor.
"No, Hon ... I mean Geo. This isn't about speed. Well, you'll see," she said. She ruffled my hair and guided me down the hall to the office.
"You're not in trouble," she smiled as I stiffened when I saw where we were going. I couldn't think of a single good reason go to the office.
When we got inside of the office, I noticed that the large room was full of kids who were just slightly younger than me. I smelled a rat.
She smiled at them and spoke to the woman who had driven their bus. The next thing I knew she was introducing me.
"Boys and girls, this is George Hamilton, one of our best students. He's going to take you on a tour of the building. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask him. I'll see you in about 90 minutes in the auditorium. Have a great day," she said enthusiastically. She quickly ducked out of the office, leaving me with about twenty pairs of eyes, all staring at me.
I had absolutely no idea what was going on or what I should say. They looked back at me, clearly as confused as I was.
"So where are you guys from?" I asked, to break the ice.
"We're from Winterhalter junior high school," chirped a cherubic faced but chunky blond girl. I could see the two paths she might take. On one side, she might stay chunky and become a member of the glee club and the student council. On the other hand, she could slim down and lose the baby fat and become one of the hottest cheerleaders on the squad.
I also saw a couple of familiar faces in the crowd. "Hey Geo," said one of them.
I knew him well. His brother was in my band. I suddenly also remembered exactly why I was there. Three years earlier, I was in a similar group. Our city had several high schools. Kids could go to any of them. My job was to take them around on a tour and let them see some of the great things about our school. Realistically, it was a popularity contest. This same group of students would visit at least two or three schools and each student, would make up his or her mind where they wanted to go.
Other factors were also involved. The parents might have a particular school in mind based on location, educational rating, test scores, or simply personal preference.
"Oh fuck!" I blurted out, drawing a huge run of laughter from the kids. "Whoops," I said to cover it up.
"Is your name Geo, like the cheap Chevy car, or is it like the two letters ... G and O," asked another kid.
"He's my brother's guitar player," said one of the kids. "He's awesome."
Even as the boy was praising me, life as I knew it changed forever. I looked to see who had spoken and locked eyes with one of the girls in the group. For a long time, our eyes were locked on each other, and we communicated without words.
I had never seen anyone like her before. If we had met later in life, the difference in our ages wouldn't have mattered. If I was twenty-six and she was twenty-three, no one would have cared. If I was thirty-six and she was twenty-three it might have raised a few eyebrows but we could have pulled it off.
However, with me being sixteen and her thirteen, my dad would have shot me. Even though the difference was only three years, the gulf between us was too large for us to leap.
I had a car and played in a band. I was two years away from adulthood. She was still a child.
Apparently, no one told her that though. From the moment our eyes met, her boredom with the situation ended. She pushed her way to the front of the group, and my punishment became a privilege.
She stood out among the girls in the group like a woman among girls. But it wasn't her physical stature or her attributes that did it. In actuality, she had none. At sixteen, I knew what girls were supposed to look like. I knew about curves, and I knew what I liked in a woman. But she had none of those things.
She didn't have large breasts like some of the cheerleaders. She didn't have an awesomely curvy butt and incredible legs like the girls on the track team. She didn't have long straight blonde hair, like the current fashion. She wasn't tanned, and she didn't even dress well.
But, still I couldn't look away from her. And what was worse ... She knew it. She felt our connection as strongly as I did. And the tour of all the interesting things about our school became a running conversation between us.
I answered questions, but I looked at her as I spoke. I talked about everything that made our school special and great, but I was talking only to her. And when I finished by telling them that I could hardly wait for YOU to start school here in the fall, both of us knew that I was speaking directly to her.
The cheers and applause I got at the end of my impromptu presentation made Ms. Hopkins, my future step mom beam with pride. However, I don't think she realized that the impetus for my performance was the tiny redhead who was standing so close to me that we may as well have been alone in the room together.
There seems to be a huge debate over whether or not love at first sight actually exists. From the very first time I laid eyes on her, I was sure.
Her curly, fire-engine red hair stood out like a light in the dark. Her green eyes were like beacons. Her pale skin and freckles seemed to be the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my entire life.
Ms. Hopkins thanked me and sent me back to class, and although my body walked down that hallway, my mind was somewhere else. I was running every detail of the time I'd spent with her through my brain. I analyzed every detail, every gesture, and every expression on her face, in minute detail.
I stared out the window as their bus pulled up hoping to catch a glimpse of her. And strangely enough, as the group came out of our building and headed for their bus, she looked back at our building.
I wondered if she could see me. I got my answer soon enough, as a thin pale arm waved at me.
It took me days to get her dropped back in my consciousness enough to let me think of anything else. And in the end, it was my hope that she would be coming to our school in the fall that gave me my new focus in life.
I realized that I needed to become as awesome as I thought she thought that I was. I needed to become very good at everything. I needed to be on the honor roll. I needed to be on a team and I needed to know everyone in the school.
For the remaining weeks of the school year, I brought my grades up and spoke to every person I ran into. However, my plan ultimately failed. While I was trying to make my life and my in-school profile a little bit better ... My dad's life got MUCH better.
Dad got a long-overdue promotion at work. And over the course of the summer, we moved onto a much bigger house in a considerably better neighborhood. And in a clear demonstration that neither luck, nor timing had anything to do with genetics, Ms. Hopkins agreed to marry my dad and to move in with us.
One good thing was that during the summer we bonded. I was sure that having an ally on the staff would be a good thing to have. What I didn't foresee though was the fact that my last two years of high school would be spent at another school.
Little did I know that it would be five years before I laid eyes on the woman of my dreams again?
I spent a lot of time during that final summer hanging out with my friends from the old school. I still went to rehearsals for my band and got a chance to ask the younger brothers of a couple of my band mates a few questions. I did manage to find out that her name was Katie McMurray, and that she'd spent the rest of the year asking them questions about me too.
I had to be very careful about asking about her though. The guys would have laughed at me and thought that I was weird, if they ever realized that I was asking a lot of questions about a girl in their younger brothers' class.
Fall came, and I started at my new school, despite my protests. I still thought about her a lot. But with both of us entering new schools, life was just too busy to dwell on it.
I did constantly look at the people in my new school for someone who either looked like her, or made me feel the way that I felt when I looked at her. Unfortunately, I found neither.
The minds of the young are flexible though, and over time, I moved on, somewhat. I made friends, and I dated. But every time I saw a redhead, something inside of me remembered.
It was the pounding inside my head that woke me. I opened my eyes and looked around the room. I fell asleep in the living room again. There it went again, the pounding. It didn't actually hurt like my pounding headaches usually did. In fact, I didn't feel any pain at all.
That was when I noticed that the pounding in my head wasn't exactly in my head. Someone was actually pounding on our front door. I pushed myself off of the sofa. There was sunlight streaming through the living room curtains, and I realized that it was pretty late.
I staggered towards the doorway and opened it as far as the chain would allow. The face staring back at me was smiling as if he had just hit the lottery. My only reaction was a scowl.
"Hey Katie," he grinned.
"What the hell do you want?" I asked icily. I already knew, but I asked anyway.
"I have a deal that you can't refuse," he said.
"I can refuse anything," I said. But I was curious, because Glenn was my only real friend. He knew me like no one else did. He was also the only person that I felt that I could trust.
Our trust wasn't based on love or any type of affection. It was based on our mutual wants. As I mentioned before, I didn't love Glenn. I didn't even like him much. But he was one of the few people in our class who treated me like I was a person. He also had an older brother who played in a band with someone I was extremely interested in. Glenn was my source of info about the only guy that I truly did care about.
And Glenn's wants were simple. He wanted to fuck me. I had no idea why. He already had a girlfriend who was going to the same college he'd been accepted by. Roberta was taller than me and had a much better body. She had large breasts and a big butt. She was also pretty and really nice.
I didn't have many friends who were women, but I imagined that she was the kind of woman. I could be friends with. She was the kind of woman who if things had been different, that I'd like to be.
As it was, I had no hopes and no dreams. That was the best way for me to be. With nothing to wish for, nothing could be taken away from me.
Glenn was another example of that. He had no idea what it meant to scrape and scuffle his way through life. Like most of the kids in our class, he was heading off to college, without a care in the world. Life was a big adventure for him. He floated from one opportunity to the next, with no thought of how lucky he was.
I didn't so much graduate as quituated. My grades were so low that our guidance counselor had told me that I was going to have to repeat our senior year at least. There were also several classes that I hadn't passed from the year before. They had allowed me to stay with my class, which in retrospect might have been a mistake. While keeping my self-esteem up and not humiliating me in front of my peers, it set me up for failure.
Really, it wasn't all the school's fault. When a student fails algebra, he or she is expected to take the class during summer school. The problem for me was that going to summer school, cost money that I not only didn't have, but wasn't likely to get.
So I returned to school got a new schedule that included a geometry class. If I hadn't passed basic algebra, how the hell did they expect me to pass geometry? My junior year it was advanced algebra, which I simply never attended and then calculus as a senior.
The senior year I had barely attended any of my classes except for art and gym and by the middle of the school year, I no longer went to the gym. Too many encounters with cheerleaders who enjoyed pointing out my lack of physical attributes, had taken even that away from me.
To be truthful by then I did have the beginnings of a bust line, and I finally had to wear a bra. But I wore it, mostly to keep my nipples from showing through my blouses, and my breasts are never going to be large.
"Come on K," insisted Glenn. "This is going to be a big night for you. We're going to a party. And by the end of the evening, I'll have given you your heart's desire."
I looked at him. Suddenly, I was more alert. Glenn was one of perhaps two people who actually knew what my heart's desire actually was.
"Whah?" I said, staring at him.
My mind flashed backwards in time. Five years passed in reverse. Five years of dashed hopes, missed opportunities and broken dreams scrolled through my mind's eye in reverse. I saw again the best day of my life. I saw myself standing in that high school again. I saw Geo for the first time all over again. I could even feel the force of my nipples popping to full erection under the ratty sweat shirt, I'd worn that day.
I never had nice clothes. I had at most one or two pairs of jeans, several T-shirts, and sweatshirts and one dress. I wore jeans and T-shirts to school every day. My favorite Converse All Stars were another staple of my wardrobe that I wear to this day.
My latest pair was a birthday gift from my sister Mary only a few months ago when I turned 18. I didn't understand it. Mary had never given me a present before. I also had no idea where she got the money. I mean it wasn't like the shoes were expensive, but when you have no money, even a little bit of money is hard to come by.
I can still remember looking up into his huge innocent brown eyes as he looked back at me. While I know that he was directing his remarks to the entire group, it often felt as if the two of us were only speaking to each other.
When we first got to the school, I hated the idea of taking a tour of yet another high school. I was about to turn fourteen and thought I knew everything. I knew that I would only be in the school for a year or two at the max. In our state, you only had to go to school until you were sixteen. Then you could quit, like my sisters had done and our parents too.
But seeing Geo changed my life. From the first second our eyes met, my life changed, or at least, I imagined that it had. And his closing words, though he'd said them to all of us, seemed to be spoken for my ears, mostly.
He'd said, "I can't wait for YOU to start school here in the fall." I saw it all. He and I would be together in the fall. In my mind, Geo was already my boyfriend. I had never had one, but I had watched my sisters. Both had changed drastically when they got a boyfriend. I had always told myself that I didn't want one. All they did was fuck up your life.
My oldest sister, Lindsey, was petite like me. She had long inky black hair that was curly like mine. When she met Robert, it was like someone had cast a spell on her. Overnight, it seemed like her butt got bigger and rounder. Her legs got fuller, and her breast size increased.
Lindsey walked around on a cloud until we began to notice that those weren't the only changes in her body. At fifteen years old, my sister was pregnant. Robert, at twenty two, was a coworker of my Dad's. He had a truck and often gave my dad rides to and from the construction sites where they both worked as unskilled laborers.
Robert moved in with us and became a part of our family. He and Lindsey got married a year and a half later when she turned seventeen. Lindsey was a beautiful, very pregnant bride. By the time she was nineteen years old my sister had four kids.
She and Robert still live with us. They constantly argue. She accuses Robert of cheating on her, and he accuses her of the same thing. You can hear them all the time screaming at each other. I really believe that the only thing keeping them together is the fact that even with both my dad and Robert working; we can barely afford the rent.
They were as happy as hell until two years ago. Before that, the two of them fucked constantly. Lindsey was like an alley cat in heat. She was constantly rubbing herself up against him. She always wore dresses, and I swear; my sister never wore any panties under them. I'm also sure that on more than one occasion, she fucked Robert in front of all of us.
We used to grill a lot; especially when the gas was turned off. It was fun and cheap. We'd all go out behind the house where we had a big old grill that Dad and Robert had found in a junkyard. Lindsey was always sitting on Robert's lap anyway, but I remember that night.
The fire was lit, and she walked up to him and straddled him. My parents were playing with Lindsey and Robert's two kids, so they were pre-occupied. My sister Mary had wandered off, probably to smoke her weed, so Lindsey thought he coast was clear. She went up and then down while sitting on Robert's lap. When she came down they both got funny looks on their faces.
She hugged him really tightly, and her butt was moving back and forth in really tight tiny movements. She looked over her shoulder at our parents and stopped moving every time they looked our way. When Roberts gasped as if he was in pain, I knew something had happened. Even my parents looked in their direction.
My dad asked Robert what was wrong. "My leg fell asleep," Robert told him.
"It's no wonder, Boy," said my dad. "We dug ditches all day. I'm stiff and sore all over, too. And Lindsey ain't exactly a light weight any more. Having her fat ass on your legs can't be helping things."
Yep after three years together and three kids, my sister Lindsey had gone from being as skinny as a beanpole like me, to a very sexy hourglass figure. At eighteen years-old Lindsey's only thoughts revolved around fucking Robert. Within a year, it would all change.
The biggest change happened when their fourth child was born. My nephew, Robert Jr. was born, and he looked nothing like his three sisters. Robert doted on him at first. Nothing was too good for his son, but as the days went on things changed. I began to hear arguments between Robert and Lindsey. They had never argued before that. They also spent a lot less time kissing and hugging each other.
My dad said that their real marriage had finally begun. The fairy tale was over, and now they actually had to work at things. But I could see that things were different. It was as if the light had gone out of both of their eyes. Lindsey spent a lot of time crying when she thought that no one knew it.
But over time, it became worse and worse. I still remember the first time she took one of their arguments public. It started out with one of my Dad's innocent comments.
"Lindsey, you're not eating the way you usually do, Honey," he said. "Please tell me you're not pregnant, AGAIN!" My dad wouldn't have cared if she was. He loved all of his grand kids and loved having a big family. He and my mom had only stopped having kids because after me, my mom couldn't have any more.
He'd meant it as a joke, but Lindsey didn't see it that way. All of her anger boiled over, and she snapped at him. But it was clear that her anger was directed at someone else.
"In order for me to get pregnant, somebody would have to be fucking me, Daddy. And that ain't happened for a long time," she cried. That day was a revelation to me. I had many questions for my sister, but I had to wait for her mood to improve.
"So you and Lindsey have uhm ... Slowed down," asked my dad. "Robert ... Son, are you uhm ... Did you... ?"
"Never!" spat Robert as if he'd been insulted. "I have never cheated on Lindsey."
My brother in law in the biggest man I have ever seen. I've often thought that if he'd had the opportunity, he could have made millions playing professional football. But Robert had followed his heart and left high school to go to work so he could support Lindsey and their kids.
That day was the first time I have ever seen him cry. "Dad, have you ever really looked at Robert ... MY SON?" he asked. The tone of his voice was so sarcastic that it seemed as if each syllable was dipped in acid.
"Look at my daughters, Rob," said my dad softly.
"I did," said Robert. "You guys are all from Irish genetic stock. Lindsey has black hair, like yours. Mary has brown hair, which is probably a combination of your black hair and Mom's light blonde. I don't know how to explain Katie's bright-red hair except that redheads are extremely rare. They're roughly 1 to 2 percent of the population. They are more frequent in Irish and Scottish countries and the British Isles. But none of that matters because except for their hair colors your three girls all have the exact same God damned facial features. If you put hats on them and hid their hair, they could be triplets. I can see both you and mom in all three of them."
"Your three girls are the same," said my dad.
"Exactly," said Robert. "My little angels are all cut from the same cloth. As I was saying, you guys are all Irish. You're fair-skinned people. My family was Swedish, also fair skinned. So how the hell did we make an olive skinned child?"
"Rob, it's possible," said my Dad.
"I want to believe that too," said Rob. "They're going to promote me, Dad. I'm going to be made the assistant foreman. Do you know what that means? It means stability for me and for you too. They gave me a bonus. They gave me a thousand dollars."
"Where's the money," asked my Dad. "We could really use that. There are lots of bills to pay. Or maybe some repairs to the truck or..."
"Half of its already gone," said Rob.
"You blew 500 dollars," hissed my dad?
"I didn't blow it," yelled Rob right back. "It was my money. I used it to find out something that was killing me." He handed my dad several sheets of paper. My dad looked at them all. I was sure that the readouts and the numbers made no sense to him.
"This one is different," he said. And suddenly he understood.
"Those are all tested against my DNA," said Rob. "There was never any doubt that all four of them are Lindsey's children. I was there when they pulled all four out of her. As you can see, the girls all match me. But my namesake is someone else's child."
My dad had finally noticed that I was listening to them. He told me to go in the house and help my mom. I was pretty sure that she could watch TV by herself, but I got the message.
And sure enough, my mom did need help. As soon as I walked into the house she called me over and handed me the wire coat hanger that was connected by two bare wires to the back of our ancient TV.
I knew what I had to do. I walked all over the living room as far as the wires would allow me to go until I found a place, and a position where she got a clear TV picture. I had to hold that position until she fell asleep watching her show, thirty minutes later.
It was a couple of days later that I got a chance to talk to Lindsey.
"Lins, is fucking the same thing as sex?" I asked.
"Of course, Stupid," she spat. That was her affectionate nickname for me.
"Sex is awful," I said. "That's when a guy sticks his thing in your thing, right? I am never going to do that, no way. Why would any girl let some man do that to her? They would have to fight me and just knock the shit out of me. And even then I would make sure I fell with my legs clamped together."
She just looked at me and laughed. She pulled me over to her and hugged me. "You're a really smart girl, Katie," she said. "You're the only one of us who has a chance to get a better life. You need to start doing better in school. You could be the first one of us to graduate from high school. You might even be able to go to college."
"Oh I don't want to be that smart," I said. "If they put that much crap in your head, it might explode. Lins, aren't you glad that Robert isn't fucking you anymore? You don't have to be afraid, Lins. The next time he tries to fuck you, come, and get me. I'll fight him for you."
She just laughed and squeezed me harder. "Katie, right now, you're just a little girl. But someday, when you're older, you're going to meet a really special guy. And you're going to want that guy to touch you. You're going to want that guy to do anything he wants to you. And you're going to like it when he does. That's just the way we're made," she said. "Doing it with someone you love is wonderful. It's very special."
"It's crap," said my sister Mary from behind us.
"Sex is just sex," spat Mary. "It doesn't matter whether you love the guy or hate his guts. All of that crap about love is just that. It's a mind game for senile old people who've lost touch with the world. Look at Lindsey right now."
I looked at my sister.
"Do you notice anything different about her lately," asked Mary. "Is she taller? Is she fatter? Is she uglier? Has her hair changed color? Has she suddenly got zits or a bad smell?"
"No," I said. "She looks just the same as always. But she's sad. She's crying a lot."
"Do you know why our sister is crying a lot?" she asked. I shook my head.
"Our sister is crying because she's stupid," spat Mary! "Lindsey gave her heart away. She gave total control of herself, her body, and her emotions to someone else. The reason why Lins is crying is because Robert is upset with her. And the main reason that Robert is upset with her is because they're both stupid."
"We're not stupid, Mary," said Lindsey, "You are. You're so jealous of what we have that you try to insult us and laugh at us every chance you get."
Mary just sneered and continued to talk to me as if Lindsey hadn't spoken. "Let me demonstrate how stupid they both are," said Mary. "I'm gonna talk slow so you can stay with me. And there is some math involved so concentrate, okay?" I nodded.
"How old is RJ," asked Mary.
"He's two," I said quickly.
"Very good, sis. You're paying attention," she said. "Do you remember health class? How long does it take for a human baby to be born?"
"Nine months," I said quickly. She gave me the thumbs-up sign.
"So, two years plus nine months is very close to three years, right?" she said. I nodded again, but I had no idea what she was getting at.
"Robert is pissed at Lins over something she did almost three years ago," she laughed. "Isn't that stupid? For this whole time, he's been fucking her like nothing was wrong. The dummy should have known what was going on as soon as RJ was born. I think that, deep down inside he knew RJ wasn't his. I think he's part Mexican. Or maybe even one of those really light-skinned black guys. But really, there's no telling who our sister let into her pussy..."
"Fuck you, Mary," screamed Lindsey. "You're just bitter because you're a strung-out drug freak who fucks any guy with a couple of dollars or a little bit of weed. You don't know shit about love."
"Maybe," spat Mary. "But maybe I like having control over my own pussy and being able to share it with whoever I want. I can also use it whenever I want to get whatever I want."
"So basically you're a whore," said Lindsey.
"Maybe," said Mary. "But what does that make you. I mean I charge money, or alcohol or drugs to get between my legs. And as you've pointed out, I have no one to get angry at me for doing it. You, on the other hand, have a husband who is devastated, by what you did and four small children, at home. So who's the bigger whore?"
The next thing I knew, my two older sisters were rolling on the floor fighting. It was brutal. They were punching and biting and scratching at each other viciously. If my dad hadn't come running in from outside and separated them, I was sure that one of them could have been seriously hurt.
My Dad somehow grabbed both of them by their collars and separated them. He demanded to know why they had been fighting, but neither one of them would say a word. He sent both of my grown sisters to their rooms. He also told me to go to bed, reminding me that I had to go to school the next day.
Later on, I was awakened from my sleep in the room that I shared with my three younger female cousins. It was Lindsey, and she had been drinking. I was shocked. Lindsey rarely drank.
"Katie," she whispered to me in the darkness. "I just have to tell you this. Don't listen to our stupid sister. She's going to end up alone all of her life or probably dead. I don't want that for you. Think about things really hard. Look at the people around you. Look at Mom and Dad. They are very happy together, even after all of this time. They love each other so much that nothing else matters. Then think about Mary. She's just another drunk bitch. She already looks like she's older than I am. Her skin is awful, and she looks sick most of the time. She says that no one cares about anyone, and that you have to use what you have to get what you want. Well, she does that. But really, what does she have? She has nothing. People look at her and laugh at her in the streets."
The smell of alcohol on her breath was very thick, and I noticed that she'd been crying too. I wondered which one of my sisters was more miserable.
"I want you to use me as an example of what not to do too, sis," she continued. "I was happy. I was so happy I could burst. I have the perfect husband. Maybe we're not rich, but who knows what can happen, tomorrow. According to Dad, Rob just got a promotion. He's going to start making much more money now. If he stays with us, things are going to be better for all of us. I love him so much, but I messed up. I got curious, Honey. Remember when I told you that you would find a special guy, and that you would want to let him have sex with you? Well, Rob is the only person I have ever had sex with. I got curious ... Okay I got stupid. Like Mary said, about three years ago, I made a mistake. I wondered what it would be like to do it with someone else. It was only one time, Katie. And it was awful."
She started crying as she told me about it. "I had gone to the store to get some things that we needed. I saw a really good looking man, there. He looked at me a lot while we were at the store. He saw me looking back at him, and we talked. I ended up going to a motel with him. I don't know how he talked me into it. Maybe it was my curiosity, or maybe he was just a smooth talker. But I ended up having sex with him. He started out being very nice, but once he got my clothes off and himself inside me; he used me pretty roughly.
Mary claims that there's no difference ... That fucking is just fucking. But Honey there's a huge difference between just letting some guy who doesn't care about you inside of your body and making love to a man who loves you so much that he wants to be a part of you. I don't think Mary has ever had sex with someone who loves her, because she's just a whore. But trust me, I hated it. I felt like I was less than a person to him. He looked at me like those men in the neighborhood look at Mary. It was like he saw me as just a thing instead of a person. And the worst part was that I realized what my curiosity had cost me.
Rob and I had a very special bond. It was like we were two parts of the same thing. We shared everything. And suddenly there was this huge secret between us. It was like someone had just built a wall between us. And he knew it, Honey. He didn't know what had happened, but he knew that things between us were suddenly different. And like the sweet man that he is, he thought that maybe he had done something wrong. I kept telling him that I just felt off. I didn't go into details, but it worried him for a few weeks. He urged me to go to the doctor. So finally after more than a month I did. The tests revealed that I was pregnant again.
Robert and I had never stopped having sex. In fact, I gave him even more. If you remember just before RJ was born, I was running around without any panties on, climbing into Rob's lap and just mounting him whenever I got the chance. I guess I was trying to wipe out the memory of what I had done. The ultra sound that I got done revealed that the baby was a boy. Rob was so happy; he didn't know what to do. Every man wants a son. After three girls, Rob finally had his.
But as soon as RJ was born, I knew. I hoped that Rob wouldn't notice. I had no way of explaining what I'd done. But every day it became more obvious to everyone except Rob. His mind couldn't conceive that I would ever cheat on him. But now after two years, he's begun to question our son. So every day I have to look into his eyes and lie to him. The wall between us has grown so much larger that I can barely see over it. I can't even sit down and talk to him about it, because I've lied to him for so long. The only thing holding us together through his doubts is the fact that he loves me so much. And he loves our kids. But as bad as things are now, if he ever found out ... They would be much worse..."
"Lindsey, he already knows," I said.
"No, Honey," she whispered. "He has a suspicion and it's tearing him apart. It's tearing us apart. But he has no proof."
"Yeah, he does," I said. "That's what he and Daddy were talking about for so long. He got a D and O test done on all four of your kids..."
She suddenly grabbed me. "You mean a DNA test?" she hissed. "Where did he get the money? Oh God, no wonder..."
Lindsey suddenly ran out of the room. I heard a lot of crying and some yelling and some slammed doors, but after that everything got quiet. It was hard for me to sleep that night as all of the thoughts going through my head kept me awake.