He sat for what seemed like a long time. He just sat. He was in a hallway and the others, who'd been involved, his lawyer and assistants, had already spoken to him and had gone. So, so now Gordon, Sgt Gordon Blake was alone at what seemed to be the end of an age.
After just a bit, he tried to assess things with his mind. He was very analytical, which was a factor that worked for him at work, at the precinct. It almost seemed to him right then that at 33 years of age he had to start his life now all over again.
The very first flash that entered his mind about the whole situation was that 'yes' he had indeed loved her. The struggle had seemed to be so much 'their' struggle. At least that was how it appeared to Gordon.
She had been, he remembered, frail and a bit flighty but was as alive as he had ever known anyone to be.
Their relationship had begun with him being more of a 'big brother' figure to her than anything. It progressed slowly. Gordon Blake wasn't a man to rush things, especially with a woman. He'd had teaching and lectures and good advice from his beloved Momma about that kind of thing.
He'd only slowly begun to enter into the world of her personal pain and know its story: the persistently abusive father; the mother who turned her head the other way; sisters who had simply left, early on in mid teen years, who had refused to put up with it anymore. From his own position as a policeman, Gordon wondered about why no one reported the man.
It was cold comfort, certainly for him, that the man had, in later years, possibly facing his own deeds in retrospect, committed suicide.
But then Gordon, at the time, had no idea of how that final act of suicide would effect Eileen, the abused daughter, and his, Gordon's wife.
It seemed that she went into a cloud at that point, and 'their' struggle changed. It became 'her' struggle alone. Gordon, for whatever reason was lumped with the folks at home. The folks in her life that she was determined to leave behind and she mentally simply seemed to move on.
There was all sorts of counseling. It seemed to help her come out of her funk but also produced some outlooks in her that were difficult to deal with.
She stopped their love life completely. Making excuses about having things to deal with, she moved into the guest room and for the foreseeable future Gordon Blake was celibate.Their sex life stopped totally.
He had tried, in all of this, to be loyal and supportive. He knew what the background was. He knew where she'd been and what she'd been through. He simply figured that the very least he could do was to support what she was going through.
It was shortly after that, when he found the pictures. They shared a 'home' computer at the time, and Gordon was the one that used it the most, though Eileen took her own turns on the machine.
It had been a file folder that he found at an almost idle moment. When he opened it, he just sat and stared.
This was at a time, when she had her own bathroom and was very jealous of her privacy and continued to counsel the need for distance between her and any sexual events with him. He had also at the time tried to understand.
Now there, on the computer, in that folder were pictures. They were not only sexual, they were pornographic at best. In one, one of the first that he saw, she was kneeling, totally naked and surrounded by five teenagers: hispanics, Afro-Americans and two white kids. They too were naked and she had one cock in her mouth, a tall black kid standing in front of her, and had two other cocks in her hands. She was smiling lewdly, as she gave the kid a blow job.
He recognized some of the kids as the crew that did their lawns, and shrubbery. He filed that bit of news away
There were others, many others: with her, always naked, and they guys mostly clothed, being screwed in about every position that was possible.
He sat and simply stared. He didn't know what else to do. He decided to take a few days and think about it.
He remembered, in his reverie, that it had been a Wednesday. That was the day, when the grounds crew would be there to do the work. He went home early in the day, toward late morning. He had never done that.
He parked outside the house in the street to not cause any advanced noise and simply went into the house. They were there.
Eileen was naked among them. They had written, scrawled dirty things all over her, kind of decorating her: 'slut', 'cock sucker', 'pig', 'whore'.
He realized grimly how appropriate the words were. He only watched for a second, when she saw him.
On this occasion, the kids were all naked too, everyone erect, and Eileen was actively blowing one of the hispanic guys.
She saw him, after those few seconds, and she shrieked. They all turned in his direction, and they froze. The scene was like a play with the action put on hold.
His very first instinct was to pull out his gun. He did but he clamped his mind down on that kind of thinking immediately.
They were staring; he was armed. They were beyond scared.
"Out!" he said in a soft voice that rumbled with intended violence. "No dressing! Just out! Take your clothes and get out!"
They did immediately and the neighbors, who might have been around were treated to the sight of the whole gaggle of them scurrying out of the house totally naked and carrying their clothes, dressing haphazardly as they went.
She just sat where she was, in the middle of the living room, and cried.
She was beyond him at that point. They both knew that, sensed it. Her struggle had taken turns that he could no longer help with. They both realized that with her actions she'd given up any help or support that he might be able to give.
He later realized that he might have still hung in there but she made it clear that his hanging in there wasn't any longer the solution.
Right then, leaving her in the living room, where she made no movement to dress or change her position, he packed two suitcases, saying he'd get the rest.
She only shook her head 'yes' to that.
There as an 'I'm sorry' from her but no movement, it was as if her entire life had caught up with her.
"I'll have someone contact you," he said softly, as he was leaving. She nodded, and he left. It ended that way with no more fusses.
All of this was racing through his mind, as he sat in that hallway, the divorce decree having been declared final that day. She never contested. She didn't get her own lawyer right away, and even when she did, there was never a struggle.
Gordon told his lawyer, Lynn Neary, to be generous with Eileen in any settlement, and that's the way it was done.
(It's not the purpose of this tale to go farther into their story, her story, but a year later Eileen Blake committed suicide at her Mom and Dad's house. She did it while lying on her father's bed.)
He knew then that he had to move, to simply get on with things. He had some plans that he'd been working on that were designed to help him going forward. Lynn Neary had been a tremendous help in getting these things underway.
He'd waited to finalize things until this terrible day was faced and over but he'd begun at last.
There was the house, first of all. He'd searched out and found a house that he liked. It was a fairly large one but he knew that he could afford it.
As a matter of fact, in their marriage it had been Eileen that had brought the money with her. He never wanted any of it from her, though Lynn insisted and he did get a fairly nice settlement out of the divorce. That was going into the house.
With the house, he knew that he needed to buy some new furniture. It all looked like a fairly busy month or two ahead of him.
He was grateful for that. He knew well that it would keep his mind off of what was happening.
On a whim, a few days later, he went to the local humane society and rescued a shaggy, black and white 'mutt', who had more love in her eyes for him right then than he'd ever suspected.
So, for Gordon Blake right away it was the new house and Lily. He was surprised that Lily was so easy to house train but it was as though, with her attitude, she was trying to help him along with his healing.
He also had dinner out a few times within the next month or so with Lynn and her husband Larry, also a friend of his.
They were constantly concerned about him asking: "How is it?"
He would invariably answer Lily and I are doing fine. It never failed to bring smiles to their faces.
And every time that he went, arrived at home, Lily was there with wall to wall love and a very active tail, her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth. Their relationship was certainly a love relationship.
Gordon, to complete his period of adjustment, rented a large camper and went off, with Lily to the southwestern part of the county for a three week trip. It was idyllic for the two of them.
To put the cap on his march into the future, Gordon decided to join a church. His folks had always been church goers and, like so many of the next generation, Gordon had gotten away from it but was determined now to get back to it.
His folks had been dedicated Lutherans and so, he looked up a Lutheran church, and after visiting a few, decided on one that he was going to attend.
He allowed himself to sit comfortably toward the back of the church, and realized quickly how much he enjoyed the services, the mass itself, the music, the choir singing, the preaching all of it.
It was a surprise for him that one day, after the service the choir director came to him to meet him. Gordon was surprised by the fact that the choir director was asking him if he might like to join the choir and sing.
Gordon, like his Dad, was a kind of a baritone tenor singer but was struck by the idea. He promised to think about it and decide.
That afternoon, he was drinking iced tea on his back patio with Lily and talking to her about this invitation to join the choir. She simply pounded her tail on the ground, and looked at him, that look of love that dogs can give: mouth open and panting a bit, tongue out the side of her mouth.
"Yes, love," he said finally. "It's something that is new to me. Maybe I'll try it. Not sure I am any better than a very beery tenor but if they can put up with that, then I'll sing with them."
It was a few weeks later at a Monday choir rehearsal that he was introduced to the other choir members as their new tenor.
Gordon was pleased because it was helping him to meet people, to become acquainted. It helped to ease him back into life.
RACHEL ANN WILMONT:
If anyone would understand that idea of easing back into life, it would be Rachel Ann Wilmont. At 32 she'd lost him, her lover, her best friend, the man who excited her so much, her avid sex partner, her husband Tom, who'd simply followed the path of his Dad, and his brother Arnie in having a fatal heart attack at a terribly early age.
It left Rachel Ann living with shadows and little else. During those terrible, dark days it was her friend, her 'bestie' Riley Acker who helped to bring Rachel Ann back to the land of the living, so to speak.
They had been there for each other for ever, or so it seemed. Theirs was a friendship that had been forged on the playgrounds of elementary school and had never faltered.
They had always simply been pals. They studied together; they learned about sex together. They shared giggled secrets about sexual experiments together. To each other, simply to each other, they'd called themselves 'the oral girls'. It always, the very mention of the term, the title, would be enough to send both of them into overwhelming laughter, complete with running tears.
At this point in her life, Rachel Ann Wilmont, at 32, was a petit 5'4". She had short brownish hair and had small but nicely pointed breasts, with very sensitive nipples. Her most lovely feature was the beauty of her butt.
They relived with each other, at times, the day, the very time when Riley proudly told Rachel, sotto voce, that she'd had her first 'oral' experience.
Rachel had shrieked with laughter at the very idea, and demanded to know what it was like.
"How did it taste? What did it feel like in your mouth? Was it hard? Soft? Did he ... did he shoot stuff out?"
The questions had been interrupted at that point by the two of them laughing so hard that they had to calm down before getting any answers.
"Stop it," Riley had said, "Or I'll pee myself."
This had only served to egg them on to more outrageousness but finally they calmed down and Riley gave Rachel Ann a whispered 'blow by blow', as she called it, bringing on the giggles again. But then it was a description of the event and what it was like, answering Rachel Ann's questions in the process.
It always made Rachel Ann smile, when she thought of it, and Riley's demand, it was that after all, that Rachel Ann should become the other 'oral girl' that coming week, on date night.
She'd done it too! She crowed about it to Rachel Ann that following weekend, after a particularly stimulating Friday night with her current date, Mark.
"Was he surprised?" Riley had asked.
"Gob smacked!" Rachel said, echoing one of the British mysteries that the two of them were devoted to.
"Okay," Riley had gone on, "How did it taste? What did it feel like in your mouth? Was it hard? Soft? Did he ... did he shoot stuff out?" She was using Rachel Ann's very words now and getting Rachel Ann's information, her 'take' on how it had been.
It had indeed been Riley and her concern that surrounded Rachel Ann with love and support in those dark, dark days, after the death of Tom.
The process had been a slow one but one that Rachel Ann was helped to take, step by step, by Riley. It took a good long period of time to turn her around and get her aimed back at living but it had been accomplished.
As a matter of fact, during one of their most recent contacts, when they were talking their way through problems and simply looking at what was happening in their lives, Riley had said: "You need to be an oral girl again!"
The very idea struck Rachel Ann and she burst into laughter. Riley grinned at her and said: "That's what you need!"
"Stop!" Rachel Ann said, giggling for all she was worth.
"Nope," Riley said, "It's what you need. Find someone; get them alone, reach out slowly, calmly, surreptitiously unzip the zipper, go fishing, grab it, pull it out, and go to work."
Riley was laughing too hard toward the end of her sentence to even continue.
"Stop!" Rachel Ann said.
"Or you'll?" Riley replied.
"Or I'll pee myself," Rachel Ann said, still giggling.
"But it's a grand idea!" Riely said, "Remember those days!"
"Yes, those days," Rachel Ann said, a bit of nostalgia in her voice.
"Hey," Riley went on, trying to get the discussion back on track,"I know what you should do."
"You're already told me what I should do!" Rachel Ann said.
"No, I don't mean that," Riley said.
"Then what?" Rachel Ann replied, "Tell me, if you're gonna be serious."
"Who says I wasn't serious about being an oral girl again?" Riley said, egging both of them into giggles again.
"Okay," Riley said, holding up her hand, "Join our choir! Help you get out; meet new people. You've got a lovely voice."
Rachel Ann realized that Riley was serious and she did say that she'd think about it. In the end, Rachel Ann took Riley's advice to heart, at least about the choir and did indeed join.
They had, the two of them, grown up in the same church and, after their marriages, had joined the same church that was in their part of the city. Riley had been a member of the church choir for a good long time, and now Rachel Ann joined it also.
The effect of the choir began to be what both Riley and Rachel Ann had hoped. Meeting new people, gathering new friends; it all was helping to pull Rachel Ann Wilmont out of her doldrums. It was certainly helping to give her a renewed outlook on life.
Of course, Riley was in there pitching for Rachel Ann to become an 'oral girl' again. It never failed to get a rise out of both of them, when it was mentioned.
"Just because you still are," Rachel Ann had said.
"You bet I am," Riley quickly countered. "Ask, Will, my lover husband!"
"I might!" Rachel Ann said, giggling.
It left them again clinging to each other and just laughing away.
"Well that's my advice," Riley said finally.
"I know," Rachel Ann had said, "You tell me often enough."
"I intend to be persistent," Riley countered.
"I suspect you will," Rachel Ann said, kissing Riley's cheek.
THE CHOIR AND A BIT OF TROUBLE:
So, it was at one of their regular rehearsals that Gordon Blake was introduced to the members of the choir as the new tenor. He was very well received by all of them. He found them friendly and encouraging. The music that they tended to sing was fairly challenging and a treat. Gordon certainly liked the experience. He also made a mental note to tell that to Lily that night, when he got home.
He was also surprised, when, after rehearsal, he was invited to go out for a drink with some of the choir members. Not all of them did go out but a good group of them normally went along.
They happened to go to 'Bud's Bar', a few blocks away but in that same neighborhood.
Bud himself greeted them, when they entered and then said to the group: "Hey, I see you have a new nightingale with you."
Bud was just grinning at Gordon, who said: "Nice to see you too, Bud."
Neither Gordon nor Bud said anything more about themselves and their relationship just then. Gordon was, in fact, a partner with Bud in the bar business and now and again would go in and tend bar for Bud, when there was a need.
When the group arrived, in their several cars, at the bar's parking place, Gordon noticed a few college types who were lounging around the lot and talking.
As some of the ladies, including both Riley and Rachel Ann got out of their car, the guys made some kind of remark but Riley shot her own remark back at them and they proceeded into the bar. Shortly afterwards, the college types entered the bar also. Bud carded them but it seemed that their ids were okay and they were served.
As the group sat and went around the table kind of introducing themselves to Gordon, Rachel Ann excused herself and walked to the ladies.
In the process, she had to pass the table where the college guys were sitting.
Gordon just watched, not saying a word.
As Rachel Ann passed, one of the kids grabbed the hem of her tee shirt. She was startled and tried to slap her hand away. He proved to be too big for her to get his hand off of her shirt.
Gordon was out of his seat immediately. He simply nodded at Bud, as he moved and Bud gave him the same return sign.
The kids were so intent on Rachel Ann that they didn't see Gordon come up to them, until he was right there. He was that much bigger than the kids that he simply grabbed the kid, who'd been holding Rachel Ann's tee shirt hem, by the collar and hauled him up and out of his chair.
One of the other backed his chair away immediately but the second apparently decided to help his friend. He got up and made a move toward Gordon.
Rachel Ann made a kind of distress sound but Gordon had seen the movement.
Still holding the one kid agains the wall, Gordon turned to the one who'd moved and said: "Now, shit for brains, I'm going to show you something and tell you something. I want you to consider both what I say and what I show you, before you make your next move."
He went on immediately, as Riley had come up and pulled Rachel Ann away from the fracas.
Gordon said: "I'm part owner of this bar and Bud and I don't cotton to you college types trying to throw your weight around in here."
Then Gordon moved the front of his jacket and showed, on one side his badge, attached to his belt and on the other, his gun.
The kid just sat back down then.
Gordon turned all his attention then to the kid he was holding.
"Touch her again," he said softly but so that all three could hear him, "And you'll lose the hand and all of your front teeth."
There was no mistaking the fact that he meant what he was saying. The kid, by now, was pale and only staring.
"Understand?" Gordon said. The kid nodded that he did.
"Please," Rachel Ann said, at that point, putting a hand on Gordon's arm, "No trouble on my account."
"You're lucky," Gordon said then, "That the lady said that."
It was then that Bud arrived at where they were. He was carrying a baseball bat.
"I think that Bud wants you to leave," Gordon said.
Bud stood there, a look of fury on his face and said: "Apologize to the lady and then leave. Don't let me see you here again."
The three of them nodded, and they did apologize before leaving. It could be heard that the one of the three that had quickly backed away from the fracas was berating the big kid that had started the trouble, as they left.
After they had left, and Bud went back to the bar, Gordon turned to face where Rachel Ann and Riley were standing.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly.
"Yes," she said, "Thanks to you."
He smiled at her, and was surprised, when she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then Riley led Rachel Ann out of the bar to take her home.
"Didn't know he was a cop," Rachel Ann said, as they got into their car.
"Yes, and a good one from what Will says. I believe he's a homicide cop," Riley said, as she started the car.
"And," she went on, "He's cute!"
"Yes," Rachel Ann agreed.
"He's free too," Riley said.
"Free?" Rachel Ann replied.
"Yes, divorced, I believe not too long ago," Riley said.
Then Riley was grinning at Rachel Ann, who said: "Say it or bust."
Riley giggled and said: "Definitely a target for an oral girl."
"Oh, no," Rachel Ann moaned, "Not that again."
"Yep, that again," Riley said, "Tell me I'm wrong, if you think it."
"I'm not going to tell you anything," Rachel Ann said, "You and your dirty mind."
"Just think," Riley said, "Hand softly sliding over the top of his thigh; seeking out the zipper and it's lovely content, mouth already watering..."
She never finished because at that point, Rachel Ann, who was laughing loudly was hitting her on the shoulder. Riley just looked at Rachel Ann and grinned.
"Gonna go hunting, once I'm home, for that sexy Will of mine," Riley said, once they'd calmed down a bit. It made both of them take up the giggles again.
TALKING WITH LILY AND DEVELOPMENTS:
Gordon made it his business that night, when he was finally home, to sit with Lily to watch late night news and talk to her about what had happened at the bar.
"She's so pretty, pal," Gordon had said, as Lily paid attention to him, her tail thumping wildly.
"Don't know her status," Gordon said, "But no ring."
It left him grinning.
"Maybe this choir thing was the best idea possible," Gordon mused, sipping the drink he'd made for himself.
"I know," Gordon said then, "I can ask Will Turner. This Rachel Ann was with Will's wife Riley. He might know. I'll call him."
His plan was set and he sat back to sip his drink and watch the news before bed.
He did in fact give Will Turner a call and broached the subject about Rachel Ann Wilmont. He found out that she was indeed not married, and that she and Will's wife Riley had been best friends forever, from grade school up.
"Mind if I mention this to Riley?" Will had asked.
After a quick thought, Gordon said: "You know, Will, I don't mind at all. Go ahead."
"Got you," Will said, "And, Gord,", Will continued, "She's a babe."
"I thought so," Gordon said, and rang off with a special thanks for Will.
Of course, the word was not very long in getting to Riley who was on the phone immediately to Rachel Ann with 'the news'.
"Did he really?" Rachel Ann asked, when Riley had told her the news about Gordon's inquiry with Will.
"He did!" Riley said. "You know what that means?"
"Riley, don't you dare!" Rachel said quickly, well aware of where Riley would be going next in this conversation.
"Slide your hand over the top of his thigh; grab his zipper softly ... Oral Girl!" Riley said, this last in a kind of a sing song voice. It had, of course, both of them giggling right away.
After the phone conversation with Riley, Rachel Ann just sat for a bit and thought about what she'd just been told. It brought a smile to her face. She realized how pleased she was about the possibilities it meant.
For Gordon Blake the choir decision began to look more and more like a totally winning decision. He certainly liked singing and hadn't done much organized singing in a good long time.
The socializing of the choir members too was a treat for Gordon. It was a way for him to get out and let his hair down, so to speak, a bit on a fairly regular basis. He discovered that he both needed that and appreciated it. Plus the simple friendliness of the people that went out was a treat.
On those occasions, it seemed to be the case almost all the time that Gordon and Rachel Ann would sit next to each other at Bud's. It was certainly accidental at first but gradually it became the normal thing for them to do.
It should be said that both Gordon and Rachel Ann liked the slow pace of what was happening. Neither of them was in a mood to speed things up too much. They were both allowing themselves back into a kind of 'circulation', after their own separate previous disasters: Gordon's wife Eileen and Rachel Ann's husband Tom.
They sensed and enjoyed the it that their simple togetherness and companionship with one another was growing.
After a few weeks of the post choir gatherings, Gordon offered to give Rachel Ann a ride home. It made Riely grin from ear to ear. As they were leaving, that first time, Rachel Ann blew Riley a kiss and gave her a grin.
Something very strange happened just within three weeks of the altercation at Bud's that served to make it even more plain that they were 'together'.
When the group got there that night, and Gordon was walking with Rachel Ann, he noticed two things right away. He gave Bud, behind the bar, a wave and Bud simply indicated, with a head nod, the corner of the bar.
There sat the three college kids. They were sipping beers and, Gordon realized right away, looking nervous.
As soon as they saw Gordon and Rachel Ann enter, the three got up and wended their way to where the choir group was going to sit.
Gordon tensed up right away and simply moved to stand between the guys, coming toward them and Rachel Ann. Gordon also noticed Bud, who was shaking his head at him, as though to indicate that it was okay. It made Gordon relax just a bit.
In fact, the three of them had come back specifically to apologize both to Rachel Ann, and Gordon for the fracas that had occurred.
One of them, the biggest, appeared to be the spokesperson for them.
"Sergeant," he led off, having received that information from Bud, who knew what they were going to do and had said an 'okay' to them about it already.
He continued then: "Ma'am, I want ... we want to apologize for the trouble that we caused a couple of weeks ago. We were so out of line and promise, absolutely promise to not cause any trouble like that any more."
"Thank you," Gordon said, leading off.
"Yes, thank you," Rachel Ann chimed in.
"That's all really," the kid said.
"I appreciate the maturity it took to do that," Gordon said softly. "I believe in second chances."
"Good," the kid said and, with a smile and a nod, and then a nod in Bud's direction, went back to sit down at their table.
The evening was pleasant and all too quickly ended, since Gordon had to work an early shift the next day and Rachel Ann had to teach.
He took her home that evening, and they sat there in the dark, in the car quietly for a few seconds.
"I have to say," she began "You are my hero, just my hero!"
When she'd said it, she leaned into him. Up to that point it had been brief lip grazing kisses for them but she wanted more this time. She offered her lips, which were already partly open and he responded.
They kissed and clung to each other for a few long moments.
"Wonderful," he said.
"Yes," she responded, "Tom and Eileen are both gone and it's only us here."
"Only us," he repeated.