Just what exactly makes any certain man consider, as necessary, traits in the woman that he's interested in? Good question, and one, I guess, that seeks its answer in all sorts of associations and locations.
There is the case, for example, of Paul LaRue. Paul was, at the time of this or these incidents, 32 years old and a bachelor.
His background and upbringing are interesting, if we're considering his tastes in women.
His Mom died in childbirth with Paul, who was a rather large baby. He was taken in and brought up by his Grandma Wilhelmina, Willie, and his Grandpa Grant.
His grandma made sure that they had a number of talks about what Paul's Momma was like. She had a picture for him that he had in his room always, and developed an unseen love for the woman who bore him and whom he never knew, apart from the loving words of his Grandma Wilhelmina.
It was simply true that his later in life decision and desires only slowly were formed and grew from the association with his Grandma, alias Momma, Willie.
It was always, for Paul, a matter the thought of sinking into the lap and the love of that woman, Grandma Willie. The remembrances were always the same. Grandma Willie was soft, she was loving. She was a person to climb onto and sink into. She was a person who surrounded Paul always with love.
He remembered the softness of her, the sweet smell and the loving temperament. Those were always the same. They were the images and thoughts that he grew up with. Grandma Willie was Paul's champion, his greatest cheerleader and the one who guided him in all the ways of growing up.
One part of those loving messages, as he was growing, was the message about his Momma. Paul learned that she was a kind of an outgoing, rocket kind of woman. She would 'go off', as Grandma Willie put it, frequently. She was happy, and loving but, in her own way, frail.
She got pregnant as she finished high school and the pregnancy didn't go well. There was no thought or mention, ever, of the father of the child, and, as Paul was born, a large baby, Mickie, his Mom, didn't survive the birth.
Willie and Grant always took Paul as a living symbol of the love of their daughter. They raised him as parents and made sure that his life was one that was infested with and surrounded by love. They were Paul's blessing, constantly Paul's blessing.
Paul, it turned out, was big like his Grandpa Grant. He stood a good 6'4" and carried 225 pounds very well. He was an athlete in both high school and college. His relationship with his Grandpa Grant aided him with that. They were pals and usually engaged in their own kind of practice for whichever sport was seasonal. Paul played football, basketball and baseball at school, both in High School and then in College.
Then he settled down and took the attitude that he wanted to do well in law school, in order to make his Momma Willie and his Poppa Grant proud of him. In that he certainly succeeded.
All of this is to give us a kind of insight into Paul's taste in women. His entire life experience helped to make up his thoughts and desires for what he looked for in a woman.
He was also very patient about it. He wasn't in a hurry at all. He and Momma Willie had talked about that any number of times. He saw the wisdom of that kind of point of view.
Those talks always ended the same way: with the simple declaration "I love you, Momma." It's how it always went between them.
Paul was super pleased to have arrived at a time in his life when he was able to take care of Momma Willie and Poppa Grant. As they aged, he became their stay and their financial support. He was simply giving back the kind of love that he'd always received from him, and for him that was a blessing.
So, there was, in Paul's mind, a kind of a longing for finding the same kind of sweet softness in a woman that he remembered was always there with his Momma/Grandma. Even if it were unconscious, it was part of his outlook. It wasn't really ever put into so many words by him but it was a part of his makeup.
There were so many things going on in his life at the time, with finishing his schooling, the bar exam and taking care of Grandma Willie and Grandpa Grant that there was precious little time for 'romance'.
It needs to be said, of course, that there were women interested in Paul and he did date. There were constantly, it seemed, friends who had sisters or cousins. He went through a time period, when that kind of thing took up a good deal of his time.
It never seemed to work for Paul. His mind had always, from way back, from the earliest time associated love and contentment with the softness of those hugs from Grandma Willie. It was a thing, a pattern that was emblazoned his mind and in his senses.
It left him, and he was honest enough to admit this, kind of prejudiced against women who were, in his words, all angels and sharp corners. Just that thought made him smile. THere was a softness that was always there with his Grandma that was a basic thing for his outlook with women.
He also had talked with his Grandma Willie about that, remarking to her: "Grandma, no one suits me the way that you do. No one feels that soft and smells so nice. It's just the way it is, and has always been for me."
"Come here, you lovely boy," she said, surrounding him with her always protective and accepting arms.
"Boy?" he said grinning at her.
"Yes, always that, eternally that," she answered. "Certainly my lovely Mickie's son but you're my boy, and will always be that."
It gave Paul a feeling of contentment that always abided. He was sure, in a part of, a recess of his mind that one day he'd find someone like his Grandma Willie. It left him both patient and content.
(It is certainly not necessary to read anything untoward or unnatural in this reaction to his Grandma Willie. It was, between them, simply a thing about love and the way that people who love take care of each other. Paul and Willie understood that. It formed a large part of Paul's outlook and expectations for dating.)
It left him very picky. He realized that, and was good with it. Giving himself to someone the way that he gave himself to Willie was not going to be an easy thing. He had high standards for that process and lived with the standards and was content.
It also happened that the house and property next door to where Paul had lived with Willie and Grant, a large and lovely victorian, came on the market. After having some long talks with the folks, Paul decided to purchase the house as his own. It being next door to Willie and Grant's house was a huge plus.
Willie encouraged him, saying that it was time for him to be out and forming his own life patterns. It seemed to be working out well for all three of them.
AN INITIAL EVENT:
Paul worked out. It was part of the way he looked at life. His physical activities had always been important to him. There was a gym that he used for his workouts and he was fairly 'religious' about his devotion to doing the workouts. His own pattern was to do his workouts first thing in the morning. He worked with the philosophy that it was better to start the day that way, rather than spending any part of his day wondering if he was going to feel like doing the workout or not. He often enough said that he'd get the workouts, both weight training and cardio exercises, done while he was still almost asleep.
It was at the gym on an early Wednesday morning. Paul had a laid back day, without too much on his agenda at work, where he was one of the corporate law lawyers.
He was in the back of the gym area having a drink of water. The gym had an area of weight machines all along one side of the big room, and on the other side a large number of various cardio machines. Paul did his half hour on each side of the room, and now, sweaty, had a towel around his neck and was cooling down. After his drink, he'd take a long walk around the track that edged the large room. He'd make probably 5 or 6 circuits of the room's track, before leaving to go home and shower and get ready for the office.
It was then that two women came out of the ladies' locker room. They were both nurses. The ladies, Ginger Ramer and her pal Wanda Fortnum were just coming out to do their morning workout. They would sit on the stationary bikes and talk to one another, while doing their exercises.
They were both in their late twenties or early thirties. They were both not married. It is possible, though maybe not fair, to say that a physical description of the two of them might explain their single status.
Wanda was fairly plump. She was the shorter of the two of them. She was moderate in the bust line, and had a large kind of roll around her middle. She was squat and from the waist down was kind of blockish.
(I realize that this description is strange but I refuse to go into the 'she's fat' kind of rhetoric. That kind of description is not helpful or polite.)
Ginger was different. She too was a bit plump but she was large in the breast, and didn't have the same kind of stomach roll that Wanda showed. He butt was rounded and a bit large. She fit her size 8 panties extremely well. At 5'3" she lacked only about an inch and a half of further growth to fit into the category of 'built like a brick outhouse'.
(An old phrase known to those of us who remember brick outhouses.)
.... There is more of this story ...