After having a long time live-in girlfriend situation dissolve over religious and medical reasons I wasn't anxious to get back in the game. That was 5 years ago, and except for a few one night flings, a string of 3 and 4 date semi-commitments that didn't progress to interest me any further; I have been a single guy who has some interest in the natural urge to get laid from time to time, but pretty picky about who might stay beyond leaving a wet spot in the sheets. I've been to the Mustang Ranch in Nevada to see if just paying a woman to get my nut would make me happy. It turns out, it didn't. I do like the chase, the interaction, the little game playing by a man and a woman when they both know that sex is the inevitable goal. Neither wants to make the cold move to say, "I want to get laid" and get it over with. I guess there is a certain gamesmanship to the negotiation of the deed.
I lived with and shared all of my possessions, as she did hers, with Olivia for 12 years. We met in college when we were both just 18 year old freshman. We moved in together almost instantly on campus and after graduation I bought a house and she bought a car. We got jobs at an environmental firm where we didn't have to interact with each other beyond riding to work together. For my 30th Birthday she made me a special dinner and over that meal she informed me that she took care of a problem for us, she had an abortion.
My first reaction? I thought I was going to pass out. I couldn't speak all the while as she could not figure WHY I reacted so negatively. I call myself a Christian and though I may not be the most devout Catholic in the world, I do believe that abortion is murder, but certainly hold no grudge against those who think differently. HOWEVER, I would think I would have been consulted on this decision. It was my flesh and blood that was destroyed and I thought I should have had SOME say in it.
I could never look at her the same way again and as hard as I tried, I could not bring myself to say that I loved her again. She may as well have cheated on me as far as destroying my trust in her. The more she spoke of how little she thought of taking the life within her, that I created, the less I thought of her. We hadn't had sex for a couple weeks, and that wasn't totally out of the norm from time to time. We were usually out of the house by 6:30 every morning and usually were not home until after 6 at night. After a drink and the news we usually ate a late dinner and were off to bed. It was spring and the weekends were full of yard work and spring cleaning so she had the window get it done without my noticing a blip in her desire for my love making. Nothing in her emotional state gave away what she had done, when she had it done. I remembered one day when she was "going shopping" with her sister after work and would be home around 10 or so. Later I investigated and found she left work before noon that day.
After a week of trying to come to grips with it all she volunteered to move out for a time to let the "dust settle". She would live at her sisters until I called for her. I never had the urge to see her beyond the polite hello's we exchanged at work. We've settled what was mine and hers without much rancor and just 5 years later I don't miss her. She has a new boyfriend she lives with and except for the grand deception and the rug she pulled from under me, it's forgotten. That fact makes me wonder if she had just become my habit, rather than my potential life partner. Shouldn't I feel a big hole in my heart? Or was her SIN against my feelings and beliefs so great that no part of me could forgive her ... So that's my back story, if it makes a difference.
It was a Friday night and I was out with another single friend of mine, Jake from work. Jake was 25 and single and quite a fox hunter. I always drove us to any club as Jake rarely needed a ride home, he usually had female company. I enjoyed watching him work his magic. He was especially good in places with dancing and a DJ. He was slick on the dance floor, where me, I wasn't so hot to trot to show my limited dance skills. I hoped that that my good looks would lead me to a score, but I still had trouble making the first move. If some sweet young thing gave me a smile or wink, I was there in an instant. I should say, when I say "young", I interpret that as around my age or younger. Being 35 I hated to admit my age, but I never lied about it and I hope against hope that it hasn't been out of politeness that most gals are surprised when I tell them I'm 35. Having a full head of dark hair helps, and only my hairdresser knows for sure.
In any event, at Minnie's Mouse Trap the DJ was spinning mostly 80's and 90's hits with a few current dance tunes and it seemed to keep the crowd the right age the owners wanted, keeping the trouble quotient down. Jake had just asked a girl, whom I sure was carded upon ordering drinks, to dance to a hip hop sort of tune and I watched him and then checked the perimeter of the dance floor to see who else might be doing the same. Across the floor right under a light that made me unsure of her hair color was a real cute girl, lady, gal, (hard to categorize but she looked to be around 25, maybe younger maybe older) but one thing I was sure of was I caught her eye and she smiled. I smiled back and she turned to talk to a friend, so I was afraid it might be just fleeting, but I kept my eye on her. She scanned back and caught my eyes and she smiled again and even seemed to nod.
"Damn!" I thought to myself, "Do I know her?" She looks "sort of" familiar and I quickly went through my conquest file in my head and I was sure if I ever took such a cutie home before, her name and face would be ingrained in my memory, yet she was so familiar. I took a step along the perimeter of the dance floor as I was suddenly glad handed by an old friend who wanted to know how things were going and if I was interested in a Bus Trip to Fenway Park the following month.
I gave him my best "Hi, maybe, call me, G'bye" and side stepped him and looked to where the mystery gal stood and she was gone. A quick scan of the dance floor found her dancing with one of her girlfriends so I stood approximately where I had seen her and waited to see if that was where she might orbit again.
Under the lights on the floor I was sure her hair was Auburn, and she had the perfect complexion to accent it. Her eyes looked to be green, but I know I only hoped for that, not a chance I could see them from my vantage point. She finished her dance and strolled back to where I was standing while talking to her friend. She stopped purposefully in front of me and I said "Hi Smiley!"
God, how could I be so NOT chic with THAT line!!
"I always smile at handsome men. I only come here with a $10 bill." She said laughing.
"Smile at the right ones often enough and you'll only need it for a cab ride home." I said, knowing right away it came out in the wrong context.
"I'm NOT that kind of a girl." She snapped as I quickly started to apologize even before she spoke.
"I'm so sorry, that wasn't REALLY what I meant. Let's try this again. HI! I love your smile, my name is Blake. Would you like to dance?"
She made a little screwed up face and nodded to me but said, "You're OK, but no, I would rather stand and talk for a minute. What I was dancing to was a real favorite of my girlfriend and I indulged her." She said with shit eating grin, knowing she hadn't given me HER name yet.
She let it hang in the air and then winked at me with that cute smile again. "I'm sorry, I'm Candida."
I gave her an odd look and then let my personality take over as we spoke. It bothered me that her name was Candida, a name I consider to be of Spanish or Latin descent, and she was definitely NOT that. I don't dislike people of that persuasion, I just thought she might be giving me a phony name. She was definitely of Irish or Scot descent.
After talking in little cute-a-cisms back and forth making each other smile and wonder about each other, she waited for a pause in the silliness to say, "You did a double take on my name, and I wasn't giving you an alias or fake name. I am Candida, and my parents are from South America, but I was adopted, something I realized early in life that inquiring looks would make me tell to complete strangers like you. My almost red hair and green eyes defy the name, and if you call me Candy this conversation is over."
"Candida it is and my only double take to the name is that I don't think I've ever heard it before, except in a Tony Orlando song." I countered, hoping to make her feel more comfortable.
I really had no idea that Candida was a "common" Spanish heritage name. She smiled at my unfamiliarity of the name and leaned in to say something in confidence. "Yeast infections were commonly called Candida when I was a little girl and I used to be teased, but now it's commonly called Thrush, but I did use my middle name, Juanita, for a few grades in school."
"Well, call me stupid, but I never heard of Candida or Thrush, so it didn't need to be brought up. I'm interested in YOU!" I said smiling and pointing my finger at her, touching her nose.
"That's cute, but you should know, I'm not one of the girls who go home with your friend, there." She said pointing to Jake grinding with some girl on the dance floor.
I turned and saw who she was pointing to and saw Jake "working it".
"If that was what I was looking for, you would know already. I was really attracted to your smile and the feeling that I know you from someplace." I said in all seriousness.
.... There is more of this story ...