The Qubit Comedy & Drama Hour: Program Pitch for Pranks

by Paige Turner

Caution: This Science Fiction Story contains strong sexual content, including Nudism, sci-fi sex story,sci-fi adult story.

Desc: Science Fiction Story: This is 'the weekly close out' telephone calls between Terri Steele and her old pal 'Mickey' and a bit about what Detroit 2015 would have taken to put on. I'd say 'we can't do anything without MONEY!' pretty much sums up the reactions of everyone in Detroit and why nothing happened with this idea. And why nothing positive happens here in America any more.

The bracketing commercials shown at the beginning of a show and that book case the interior 'skits and mini shows' has as it's start a commercial showing someone moving boxes out in the garage and getting stuff down from the high shelves and one of the things that comes down is a guitar case covered with dust. A brief flashback to the night before with his two buddies, both in their early forties, seeing a commercial on TV for 'you got what it takes to be a One Hit Wonder?' and a pitch for old garage bands to send in whatever original material they had that they thought could have made a hit. They laughed about their days as a high school band, and continue with the poker game, and one says 'but you know, that song of Steve's wasn't too shabby. Steve shrugs. Scene fades to garage being cleaned out real time. 'What's that?' Wife asks. 'My old Strat.' 'I didn't know you played violin.' Guy laughs, 'Time for you to meet my better half; Sweet Baby Jane, ' and flips up the lid and there is a primo ax inside that case. 'Hey, does your brother still have that set up for converting cassettes into digital files set up?' 'Yeah, why?' 'I think our old garage band has a contender. I want to send this in to the Detroit contest.' 'Hmm. You do know you have to get up and perform in public, right?' 'Gives me incentive to clear out the garage.' 'Gives you incentive to get together with your old homies is more like it, so have them bring their own beer when they come over to help you, sweetie. Now that I have you motivated, I'm going to go get cleaned up and motivate on out of here and leave all your empties in the recycle bin. I think I'm going to tell Jane and Gerri that we're going to lunch since their husbands won't be around the house to work on their honey do lists. Gerri's designated driver this week and have fun you!' A 'Drink Responsibly: Detroit 2015!

This is a very quick and dirty approach to telling a story in a story inside of a story. Detroit 2015! is a total work of fiction at this point, but by January 3, 2015, if it should go on the air, there is a social responsibility that goes with this entire spoof ad campaign/comedy show/science fiction mystery/and basically the job is slaughtering sacred cows by the herd.

The thirty second commercials are stories too. This entire crew of husbands being herded around by their wives viewing this as an 'at least it gets our lists done faster if we put up with practicing out in the garage' and the guys are pretty good. They'd all been in bands in college and even after college as they work on their old stuff, they haul out some of the new. The fire up the old cassette and there is a very early version of 'Scat The Cat'. Then someone hauls out a later version. 'I could see this here' and out comes a very hip version of the old tune, well polished by years more guitar playing experience. Another instrument joins in and 'hold on, Larry, it's trash night, the pizza's here, ' and back to reality for the band. This is a simple story line being told here about these guys who'd had a band, and had somehow maintained their friendship through a fluke series of circumstances. One guys' wife is an ex bandmate's sister, the guys and girls had all gone to the same high school and one couple had gotten married and stayed in town while the other four went away to college. Family business ties had brought the others back to the small town, one guys' family owned the bank, the other's father ran a manufacturing company he was expected to take over in another five or ten years, but was bored with his job. The guy who stayed in town has become a small time remodeling under the table contractor that works on some very high priced homes and is used to them having money and him not. They just accept each other even though they come from different walks of life.

One of the guys, Earl, has a deep bass voice, a Cab Calloway resonance to it. 'Scat the Cat' allows him to step out of the dull banker role life has brought him and let out the entertainer, the showman who knew how do do this one song so good that everyone else had a shot at it too.

Scat the Cat! Scat the Cat! Wasn't it sad, when he discovered that, He really wasn't sure, where he was at! He was Scat! He was Scat! Hee Wasssss SCAT!

The CAT! Who Sat! And Sat! And Sat and Sat!

He sat ZaZen Until the End Then he thought he stop and do it again!

(repeat and variations on lyrics)

An entirely fictitious alternative reality that has an internal logic to the pieces being fed each week to the general broadcast audience. The Qubit Comedy and Drama Hour and having the television mini shows inside the show already produced with professionally crafted television commercials creates a hall of mirrors effect. Tying it into an internet game in which the house is posting odds on the show actually having the guts to ask some damned embarrassing questions of some damned important people, you can actually have a clip of the guys in the band watching a TV set while the show is on and commenting on that night's episode, which has not yet been seen by the general viewing audience! The deja vu joke might miss most of the general audience, or it could be done across multiple weeks. 'Hey, listen, I'd love to chat a bit longer by I've got Robin Williams on hold. Love you too, ' Inserting a clip of Robin Williams on hold is simple. Just use a still image. Later on, insert same picture, accompanied by a click of a phone hanging up. Phone goes away, but Q. Was Robin Williams on hold for this skit? No. It was a prank. And back to the show in progress. Because this stuff all winds up on the internet, you can geek out which conversation goes with which skit. With all of the WTF?? factor of a comedy show doing heavy political thinking and turning an actual idea into a comedy series/drama/variety hour, the pieces of this puzzle fall into place.


Garunda Communications is a fictitious business. It is bringing you this show from another reality, so as far as 'is this a real television show?' goes, the answer is 'maybe' and there are a lot of very odd variables involved in this that I have no idea on how to estimate the outcome of.

A ninety day social experiment the likes of which the world has never seen before. Can this species we belong to actually solve our problems by the means we are using? No. This show is an outside-the-box experiment in global problem solving. An electronic reality in which a real city's post industrial problems can be looked at with a view towards remaking the city into what people will want to live in tomorrow.

Media is what delivers ideas to us, when all is said and done. The idea of using a television broadcast to deceive the public is not what is intended here. Nor is this either party's political agenda at stake here, except that it gives both sides of the isle something to test their theoretical ideal government against. The Democratic ideals of social welfare programs has foundered in a sea of red tape, the Republican 'small enough to drown in a bath tub' guzzled it's way from a surplus to a staggering amount of debt that fell hardest on the lower rungs of the socio economic tiers. Preaching at people does not work, but if you can entertain them and engage their minds in various series and their evident overlaps, you start to see how the tapestry is woven together in multiple ways. Expensive commercials with no product being pitched except for a product placement within the commercial for a non existent product, products, or contest. The entire show is for sale and product placement is one of the 'reality drama' show Balls of Steele's specialties, just as showing the outtakes for 'whomever wins this product placement spot in the movie' swapping of bags of junk food while the actor does the line again and again where that little snippet is to be inserted into the segment of show later on. The wheeling and dealing of Terri Steele's world is reflected in the commercials, behind the scenes business deals, consultations with lawyers, corporations, and even reach into what the Minister of Graft & Corruption's campaign goals are, which is to raise money for graft and corruption through political advertising. The Minister of Vice is an entirely different character, a Beltway insider's insider, an insider's 'insider trading' plutocrat who songs and dances and sings about ... Mr TEN! under wear for MEN!! ... considering the production values of that number, being as it would be an over the top camp Busby Berkley costumed past even the usual standards of Beach Blanket Babylon, with a little Circe de Soliel thrown in for good measure, a 'way past the usual standards of Broadway' can be put together for the numbers that are sung in praise of ... the Toast of the Castro: The gay that everyone knows! Mr TEN!!! and of course, those with dirty minds will think that it was just nepotism that got that hunk of dim witted blond beef cake this role.

This is an attempt to create a twenty six week block of television to sell an upgraded form of government to the American people. Not an American Revolution, but an American Evolution!

.... There is more of this story ...

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