Chapter 18

The following afternoon

Nexus Ranch

Near Harborton Washington

“It was unanimous Jean,” said Kelly.

Jean was floored. This was probably the last thing she was expecting upon her return from Washington DC. She had been working out the details for joint operations with the shadowy intelligence unit run by Ben’s former comrade Sgt. Major Winters. She had just finished unpacking when the Nexus women called her into one of their ‘kitchen table’ meetings.

“All of you are okay with this? What about Ben?” asked Jean.

“It took some persuasion, but he finally agreed that it was best for all of us if he shared the ‘Ben Effect’ more widely. We then did separate lists of possible candidates and you were number one on his as well” said Lizzie.

“But there are so many beautiful women who would probably be a better fit for him, I’m not...” said Jean as she unconsciously touched the scars on the left side of her face,”

Kelly took Jean’s hands into hers and stared straight into her gray eyes.

“Jean, you are beautiful and more important than that- our man loves you,” said Kelly.

“You may not be able to see the way he looks at you, but we recognize that look. We see it every day for ourselves,” said Mei with a quiet smile

“In fact, it was one provision that we all agreed on. Ben would not do this if there wasn’t a deep connection involved. It’s also one of the factors for success that our Gods have prescribed if you were to become pregnant.

“Pregnant! I don’t even know if I can, or should,” exclaimed Jean.

“Jean, I guarantee it can happen to you. Pregnancy should have been impossible for me. I was given a forced hysterectomy at 14 by the Chinese government and now look at me!” Mei said as she proudly rubbed her slightly rounded baby bump.

Jean was deeply touched that the quiet Mei would share something so deep with her. She had heard some of Mei’s story but it was nearly incomprehensible how she had overcome her background and become such an important part of the Nexus.

“‘Can or ‘should’ aside, Jean, what do you want? Would you want a child from Ben?” asked Kelly gently.

“We nearly lost him twice in the last two days. We would never be the same without him, but each of us wants to have a part of him with us, should that happen,” said Sarah.

Jean bowed her head and thought back to her time in service and it struck her that in many ways the young men and women she had led and mentored over her long career had been her children. She had honestly thought that that was as close as she was ever going to get, especially after her injuries. Now though there was Ben- a man she had rapidly grown to love. Would he really want her when it came down to it? Would he choose her as a mother to his children when he could have practically anyone? Would she even make a decent mom?

Her head was spinning.

“I just don’t know about being a mom,” said Jean.

“Jean if you were to have a child it would be loved like no other and you would have all the support you needed,” said Lizzie

“We love you Jean and we owe you our lives. When the Hellhounds attacked that day, we never would have made it back to the ranch without your leadership,” said Maria. “Your child would be a part of our family and treasured, just as you are now.”

“Please just think about it. And should you decide that this is not what you want, that is okay with all of us too. We love you just the same,” said Kelly touching Jean’s scarred cheek.

“But if that’s the case please let Ben down gently. He’s a big doofus but he has a real tender spot for you Jean and you could hurt him badly if you aren’t careful,” said Sarah.

Hurt Ben? It just didn’t seem possible. He was Ben- the former Captain of Marines. He killed Hellhounds and Demons before breakfast and twice after lunch. He was sweet and funny and tough as nails when he had to be. Surely it couldn’t be true that he would be hurt by her?

“I- I will think about it,” said Jean as she stood from the table and fled out the front door.

Ben felt like a 16-year-old kid waiting for his crush so he could ask her to prom.

He sat on a little wrought iron bench just outside her white-painted fence gate and neatly trimmed lawn. It was just like Jean to take an almost bleak prefabbed house and somehow create a small, but cozy home.

The bench was situated perfectly to catch the last warm rays of the early fall sunshine and he was thankful for the chance to gather his thoughts about Jean. His situation with her was different. With all of the women of Nexus, it had felt preordained. They just fell into each other as if they had already been in love.

With Jean, it had grown slowly, over time, even though he had been intensely attracted from the moment he saw her. With her, he wasn’t even sure she felt anything like he did. It was a bit daunting to tell the truth and out of all the last days events- it was this that gave him the most anxiety.

“Ben?” said Jean softly.

Ben nearly jumped out of his skin. Somehow he had been so into his own head he hadn’t even heard her approach. He shot to his feet.

“Hi Jean, I uh. I wanted to see you to ask something...” Ben started and then stuttered to a stop.

Jean looked different somehow. She had a small shy smile and a somehow softer expression than he was used to seeing. She had changed into light blue casual slacks that accentuated her long legs and a light pink sweater.

“It’s okay Ben, the girls explained things to me. Let’s sit for a minute.” she replied.

Ben could tell she was being kind by not making him come straight out with what they both knew they needed to talk about.

He sat back down on the bench and then skooched over slightly to allow her room. As she sat next to him he immediately noticed two things. One, she sat just a smidge closer than he expected, and two- she smelled delicious. She must have recently showered as he could smell the bright clean smell of apple shampoo and soap and another scent that hung just on the edge of his mind but couldn’t quite pinpoint.

His wives in the same situation would probably have drawn things out and maybe even teased him a bit. They knew that he really sucked at this kind of thing. They loved him anyway and he would never begrudge them a little fun. But Jean wasn’t that way. She went straight to the point.

“So Ben, are you really sure about this? I know I’m not like the others you are with, or could be with,” She finished by looking slightly away. Almost as if she were afraid of what she would see in Ben’s gaze.

Ben knew at that moment that he held something precious in his hands and something so fragile that a wrong word could break it forever. He touched her chin lightly bringing her gaze directly to his. Her cool gray eyes widened and her chin-length honey-blond hair was tousled by a light breeze. Ben thought her achingly beautiful at that moment.

“No Jean, you are not like them,” Ben said. “You and I share something that the others never can,”

A puzzled look crossed her face as she considered what he was saying.

“We share years of duty and sacrifice. We know what it’s like to be responsible for ordering men into danger, even into death. We share experiences that the others in my life will never know. To me, these marks are badges of honor and courage. They make you more beautiful- not less.” he said as he gently traced the long scars on her face.

Ben could see her eyes shine and prayed that he had said the right words. Then a slight smile crossed her face and she gave a nod as she took his hand in hers with a firm squeeze.

“Okay then, let’s do this thing,” she said, standing and drawing him to his feet.

Oorah Gunny”

“Oorah Skipper”

Maybe it wasn’t the most romantic of beginnings but it worked for them.

Jean was just as nervous as she had been for her first time.

For a moment she nearly reconsidered. She had been almost content in her stasis. She risked nothing by avoiding intimacy. This was risking everything. As they made their way into her small bedroom she hesitated. Ben must have sensed this and turned to her, taking her into his arms.