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How large a harem is too large?

Quasirandom 🚫

Harem stories (including reverse harems) are a guilty pleasure for me, but I'm picky about how it's handled. I want the harem's leader/focus to have emotional relationships with each of their gals/guys, and if the connection they felt with the first gal/guy gets lost as others get added I am disappoint. I also want all the gals/guys to have relationships with each other β€” not necessarily sexual or romantic, but I like to see how they're all in this together. They all have to live with each other, after all, and have both good and bad moments.

Which means when the harem gets "too large," it breaks down for me. Let's face it β€” it takes a really good author, with a deft hand at characterization, to juggle an ensemble like that. The largest I've met that fully worked for me are five-member marriages, and the only one on SOL is aroslav's Model Student. (Jacob Hopkins didn't quite pull this off, though it tried harder than most stories with harems that large. Daze in the Valley fell down hard at this, despite the fun.)

(This is one area where Chinese webnovels have a slight advantage: the historical upper-class practice of a man having a senior wife plus concubines is a ready-made model for one way to structure a plural marriage. Japanese light novels/manga/anime tend to be just as hit-or-miss about it as Western erotica, unfortunately.)

So for those who read in the genre, is there a size limit for you? How large is too large? And what stories with ensemble relationships can you rec?

Keet 🚫

@Quasirandom

MFF or MFFF. More is too unrealistic. Not many stories with that, most go way beyond 'reasonable' numbers. Besides, stories with larger harems are mostly those with too much sex in them, which I don't read.

Remus2 🚫

@Quasirandom

Depends on the writer. Some struggle trying to make a large harem fit. Others do well with it. The Chinese and Korean novels appear to do well with it, but the Chinese based sites don't really do the erotica angle due to the censors. The interpersonal angle they do well at.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@Remus2

True, that. Sometimes that's enough, but sometimes more spice is nice.

Dominions Son 🚫

@Quasirandom

I'll disagree with Keet.

I personally don't mind stories with lots of sex, as long as there is a story beyond the sex.

For me it's not a hard and fast limit on the number of harem members, it comes down to the author and the size of the story.

A few authors can build largish harems and still manager to have each harem member have a full unique personality come through.

These tend to make for VERY long stories. Three Square Meals(currently 3.7 megawords) comes to mind.

Most authors can't manage it though. After a while the new harem members end up two dimensional.

In my experience, the number of harem members where they start to become flat will vary from author to author.

I've seen authors who couldn't even manage a triad decently (MFF or MMF).

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@Dominions Son

In my experience, the number of harem members where they start to become flat will vary from author to author.

Oh yes.

How high have you seen it successfully handled?

Dominions Son 🚫

@Quasirandom

I'm not sure of the exact number, but the largest I've seen done well is the one I mentioned up thread, Three Square Meals.

I think the core harem is up to approximately 11.

But as I stated, this story is 3.7 million words and it's not finished.

Lots of story between the sex scenes.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Quasirandom

How high have you seen it successfully handled?

I'd go with Model Student as per the OP but, IIRC, even that had two core members, the others being lesser lights.

AJ

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Eh, two? How are you diagramming that?

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Quasirandom

How large is too large?

Cal is up to nine/seventeen, as of tomorrow's chapter of A True History. I freely admit the eight Indian concubines are loved, but I've only got a couple of them as individual personalities. This is written first person, so if the mc isn't around, they're not developed that much. The other nine, though ...

Replies:   Keet  Dinsdale
Keet 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

Cal is up to nine/seventeen, as of tomorrow's chapter of A True History. I freely admit the eight Indian concubines are loved, but I've only got a couple of them as individual personalities. This is written first person, so if the mc isn't around, they're not developed that much. The other nine, though ...

Nine and you still manage to make it a good story without too much sex. Unfortunately most large harem stories have little story and just go from sex scene to sex scene.

Dominions Son 🚫

@Keet

Unfortunately most large harem stories have little story and just go from sex scene to sex scene.

The size of the story matters. With a much longer story it's easier to do while still having lots of story. Particularly if the author refrains from having the MC trying to do the entire harem every chapter.

Replies:   Keet
Keet 🚫

@Dominions Son

The size of the story matters. With a much longer story it's easier to do while still having lots of story. Particularly if the author refrains from having the MC trying to do the entire harem every chapter.

I can agree with that. I almost exclusively read long stories simply because I read a lot and that doesn't work for me with multiple short stories a day. I don't exclude stories with large harems by default so many of them are enjoyable to read IF the MC is not trying to do the entire harem every chapter, i.e. sex is not the main focus of the story.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@Keet

Got any recs, or at least any stories worth remembering?

Replies:   Keet
Keet 🚫
Updated:

@Quasirandom

Got any recs, or at least any stories worth remembering?

Just a few from the top of my head:
Barneyr - Bob's Great Adventure
Feral Lady - Von Solon's Universe
Gordon Johnson - Nowhere Man
HLD - Three Girls and A Guy
John Wales - Rebirth (John has a few more that would qualify)
Lazlong - Wagons Ho!
MattHHelm - Somewhere in Time - A Road Less Traveled and Somewhere in Time - A Trip to Waco

Most time travel to the far past stories have multi-wive families, especially the MC of course.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@Keet

I'd noticed that … Thanks.

Dominions Son 🚫

@Keet

Unfortunately most large harem stories have little story and just go from sex scene to sex scene.

The size of the story matters. With a much longer story it's easier to do while still having lots of story. Particularly if the author refrains from having the MC trying to do the entire harem every chapter.

Dinsdale 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

Has everyone forgotten "John and Argent" by cmsix? I seem to remember the size of that harem exceeding 100 and it got ridiculous. Imagine a story code of
MFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Dinsdale

harem exceeding 100

A Hustler video from more than 20 years ago now.

World's Luckiest Man (Don't worry, it's just the IMDB link, nothing bad.)

Movie tagline: Jon Dough and 101 horny babes

Basically, ZERO dialogue, and a whole lot of oral, with an outtake of a 31 girl lesbian orgy.

Quasirandom 🚫

@Dinsdale

Interestingly enough, noping out of that when the harem jumped to 8 was one impetus for this post. Over 100? Yikes.

richardshagrin 🚫

@Quasirandom

Try some of Verywellaged stories. There is one, Fifteen, on his own site, that has 15 members.

stitchescl 🚫

@Quasirandom

How many is 'Arlene and Jeff' up to?

samuelmichaels 🚫

@Quasirandom

The Best of Both Worlds by Dilettante got up to 7, I think, with all but one woman being distinct with fair amount of "screen time".

Replies:   Argon
Argon 🚫
Updated:

@samuelmichaels

The Best of Both Worlds by Dilettante got up to 7, I think, with all but one woman being distinct with fair amount of "screen time".

The story is one of my favs, not because of the multitude of women, but for the humourous style and the bantering dialogues. The gradual addition of Amanda (NΒΊ3) was the pinnacle though, and beyond that, the next additions became a little rushed, even if all the females had their own personalities and quirks. Yet, he managed to keep the first wives in prominent roles to the end, something that is important for my reading enjoyment. In many (less well done) harem settings, the early wives move to "management" roles when new women/girls are added.

Replies:   samuelmichaels
samuelmichaels 🚫

@Argon

Yes, I like it enough to reread every 2-3 years. I wish he continued writing.

Replies:   Argon
Argon 🚫

@samuelmichaels

Yep, Laramie started really well, but after 14 years, there won't be a continuation 😞

Replies:   Dinsdale
Dinsdale 🚫

@Argon

I occasionally go back to that story and re-read the first chapter. Just the first chapter. Treating it as a stand-alone story.

There were a couple of other stories which started off in a similar vein and were also never completed, Wraith by Andrew James Gordon and Ersatz's contribution to the NiS universe.

JoeBobMack 🚫
Updated:

@Dinsdale

Wow! You are so right! That is an exceptionally fun chapter.

I'll likely read the rest, then be sick that it isn't finished, but if I was smarter, I think I'd do what you suggest and let that chapter just be a little jewel in my memory!

samuelmichaels 🚫

@Dinsdale

I occasionally go back to that story and re-read the first chapter. Just the first chapter. Treating it as a stand-alone story.

The first few chapters are good. I think we went astray in the last two or so. Pity.

helmut_meukel 🚫

@Quasirandom

aroslav's "Team Manager: Swish!" is still in progress – actual chapter 31 of 45 – and all 9 players of the female basketball team claim to be his girlfriends and cooperate in defending him from bullies. No penetration yet.
BTW, sex scenes are only a smaller part of the story and the basketball scenes aren't excessive either.

HM.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@helmut_meukel

I am eagerly waiting for it to finish (I hate starting unfinished storiesβ€”I am a horrible patron for serializing authors).

Replies:   helmut_meukel
helmut_meukel 🚫

@Quasirandom

I am eagerly waiting for it to finish

Hmm, depending on the definition of finished, it's already finished. Available on Bookapy ($5.99).

I wrote

still in progress – actual chapter 31 of 45 –

Reading the announcement for the eBook again, I may have come to a wrong conclusion. It says there: "There are a total of 45 chapters in the eBook." This is slightly ambiguous, are the chapters in the eBook the same size as posted here on SOL? If not, how many chapters will be posted here?

HM.

Remus2 🚫
Updated:

@Quasirandom

To directly answer the OP question, it's too big when the writer has to force the story. The latter usually involving scenes of having sex with all of them in one day. As it's fiction, there should be some supernatural or science fiction elements to facilitate that. Time is another factor. Temporal considerations are often forgotten in such stories from what I've read. If the MC has a 100 member harem, it will take a long while to get with each of them in a single day, with or without supernatural or science fiction elements unless there is a freezing of time.

mrfriendly8181 🚫

@Quasirandom

Honestly anything over 5 is pushing it, 10 is too many. I want the emotional connection, the character development, the relationship to matter.

That's one of the reasons I don't like poly relationships in fiction. Inevitably it is one guy and 5-20 women who are all bi and happy to have one man to share while they also satisfy each other. My other problem with poly relationships in fiction is that sex between characters will suddenly happen with no build up. I mean the first time two characters fuck it just happens and there's no flirting, no discussion, nothing. And then instead of it being a one night stand the characters all confess to being happy and in love and want to have a poly relationship. LOL It's almost as bad as the number of DoOver stories where the MC getting rich hinges on the fact that the Hunt brothers tried to corner the market on silver in 1979.

Quasirandom 🚫

@mrfriendly8181

Inevitably it is one guy and 5-20 women who are all bi and happy to have one man to share while they also satisfy each other.

It sure seems inevitable on SOL. There's at least as much MMF trios and MFF in published erotic romance, though. Heck, there were plenty of MMF stories back on alt.sex.stories.moderated. But here …

Replies:   mrfriendly8181
mrfriendly8181 🚫

@Quasirandom

Yeah, the whole harem concept is new to me. I've seen quite a bit of the threesome or throuple idea. But the harem is just pure wish fulfillment and ends up with too many women to keep straight, I can never remember who everyone is in the story. And harem or poly stories usually are just about the sex scenes and have no other plotlines or neglect their other plotlines because there are so many characters that need to be included in sex scenes.

Uther Pendragon 🚫

@mrfriendly8181

Inevitably it is one guy and 5-20 women who are all bi and happy to have one man to share while they also satisfy each other.

It's not inevitable. A counterexample is my Gayle's Ceremony, 6 men, 3 women. That's fixed in the plot.
I wrote another poly story, The Proposal. where they are balanced or almost balanced. As they age, they add another, younger, man and then another woman.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@Uther Pendragon

Gayle's Ceremony

:quickly adds to library:

I'm not finding The Proposal, though β€” is it posted on SOL and I just have bad search fu?

Ferrum1 🚫

@Quasirandom

Anything over six characters pretty much ruins it for me. I can't keep the women straight, and generally find that they blend together because the author doesn't take the time to flesh the story out.

Also, there needs to be something that explains the guy's ability to bed the women so often -- especially if he's over 30. I don't care if it's magic, science or aliens... as long as something explains his staying power.

Three Square Meals is a pretty good example of a story I don't like, really. The main story arc is about the battle, but all the women now thrown into the mix makes it impossible for me to really empathize with any of them. Because so much time is dedicated to the sex and relationship stuff, the bigger story gets dragged out forever. While that might seem okay for some, I found that the sex/relationship stuff became very stale and repetitive very quickly into the story. It's no problem for me to scroll quickly through a chapter, totally skipping the relationship parts because I know it's not going to be anything different than what was in the last chapter or the chapter before that.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@Ferrum1

Also, there needs to be something that explains the guy's ability to bed the women so often -- especially if he's over 30.

Word.

Tazzy81 🚫

@Quasirandom

One of the more ridiculous harem stories i've read is from Dualwriter and the Florida friends series, Steve is ok with 4 but when Chuck comes along in later stories the bloke has like 18, i like a bit of fantasy same as the next guy but that is just plain nuts and gets repetative quickly, there's othjer things that make me cringe about the stories but that's another topic.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@Tazzy81

Whee β€” I hadn't heard those have harem bloat. (I didn't finish the first in the series β€” was too bored to bother.)

Fiend666 🚫

@Quasirandom

I'd say that 3 maybe 4 women to the main character is the limit. I have and will read stories with more but really after that it seems like homogenized characters with different names and physical descriptions. 3 or 4 with some of the women being with each other and some only being with the MC but present works best in my mind and also sets up for some decent relationship dynamics, drama and hurdles for the group in addition to the story plot(s) and arcs. Some of the harem stories have so much sex that the MC wouldn't have time to actually work or sleep.

Replies:   Quasirandom  Remus2
Quasirandom 🚫

@Fiend666

Some of the harem stories have so much sex that the MC wouldn't have time to actually work or sleep

Or do homework.

Replies:   Fiend666
Fiend666 🚫

@Quasirandom

In those stories I'd assume the odd girls out would start reading him his assignments and doing his homework for him while they were waiting for their turn with him, lol.

Remus2 🚫
Updated:

@Fiend666

I'd say that 3 maybe 4 women to the main character is the limit. I have and will read stories with more but really after that it seems like homogenized characters with different names and physical descriptions.

I have friend down in Chile who has made it work with three in real life. They had to move to the Chilean artic territory to do so. Punta Arenas is a don't ask, don't tell kind of town when it comes to that. As long as you're productive, they don't really care. By productive, I mean generating taxes for the local and national government which they all do. How you live after that, they don't care as long as it's not breaking any laws otherwise.

When we visit, I nor my family ask any questions. Their social dynamic on the surface is more as a group of friends. None of them show any PDA when others are around. It works for them. At home, the children are never without any adult to help them and or guide them when needed. One thing is clear though, it's a strain on him. I have serious doubts any more than three could work without it ripping the whole apart.

richardshagrin 🚫

@Quasirandom

VeryWellAged has a story on his own site, not includable on his SOL stories because of character ages having sex, named Fifteen, and that is how many Filipinas the main character has in his household, having children with him. It may not be exactly a harem as the hero is not a Sultan, but I think that having more than one sexual partner of the opposite sex is what is probably meant by "harem". I enjoyed reading it and have re-read it a couple of times.

samuelmichaels 🚫

@Quasirandom

I will leave this for context:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ziona

FairWeatheredFriend 🚫

@Quasirandom

4 is definitely the limit for me.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@FairWeatheredFriend

Got any good examples?

Quasirandom 🚫
Updated:

@Quasirandom

Related to this topic, I recently read a YA novel (Chaos on CatNet by Naomi Kritzer) where one protagonist has recently moved in with her father, her stepmother, her father's girlfriend, and her stepmother's girlfriend. Said teenager initially had trouble keeping all the women straight and dubbed them Thing One, Thing Two, and Thing Three, in the order given above.

Not a harem, but an example of how many can be too many.

Franco 🚫

@Quasirandom

Solomon is said to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines (in my opinion, a myth). Ramesses II had over 200 wives and concubines and around 100 children.

In a story, three or four would be the maximum if the author wants to explore their various relationships. Of course there could be many more if the relationships were only explored for the main few and the rest were merely cut-outs with only minimal personalities.

I think that is what the author does in Ascension of the Alpha Male. The MC has probably more than a thousand women in his harem, but relationships are only described for the main three or four.

Dominions Son 🚫

@Franco

Solomon is said to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines (in my opinion, a myth).

The Biblical Solomon was a king which made a big difference, Those number are probably exaggerated, but likely not by as much as you think.

Not_a_ID 🚫
Updated:

@Franco

In a story, three or four would be the maximum if the author wants to explore their various relationships. Of course there could be many more if the relationships were only explored for the main few and the rest were merely cut-outs with only minimal personalities.

Depends on the setting, but if you're trying for a "modern day/realistic" setup, 4 is starting to be really pushing the outer limits before things really start to crack, or require some significant liberties being taken on the characters and their life situation. (Such as prior discussions on women involved in such harems frequently being portrayed as bisexual, and mutually attracted to each other)

If you're dealing with sci-fi and/or fantasy, other options open up. But even then, just so readers can easily follow the story, you're likely going to end up having to find ways to "send harem members away." If you intend to have characters in the mix that aren't part of the harem. (Which gets into another, different, discussion about how many characters are too many in general.)

Ferrum1 🚫

@Franco

Solomon is said to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines

In those days, I could believe it. He was a king without parallel and taking wives or concubines was often tied to securing peace or favorable treaties. More of a political decision than anything.

He wouldn't be obligated to get them with child or the like. With 1,000 women to bed, the best he could hope for was one visit every few years... and every single woman would be honored to be there in what was the best house with the best food and best security. For them, being chosen to be in a harem wasn't just about some honor or familial obligation -- it meant an increased chance of simply surviving, and living well while doing it.

I think most women today would love the chance to live in some millionaire's harem if they could pull it off.

awnlee jawking 🚫
Updated:

@Ferrum1

I think most women today would love the chance to live in some millionaire's harem if they could pull it off.

I'd be interested to know what women actually think. Would you prefer to live a childless life of luxury in a harem, with every whim except pregnancy catered for? Or would you prefer living hand-to-mouth but able to pop out as many kids as you want?

AJ

Replies:   Ferrum1  helmut_meukel
Ferrum1 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I think they'd jump at the chance. Plus, there's no reason to assume it had to be childless. The choice between a comfortable life and one that's full of struggle and uncertainty? Women haven't changed that much in the last few thousand years, and I think they'd happily slip into a harem if they could make it happen.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Ferrum1

It didn't work for Diana Spencer when she realised she was wife number two ;-)

AJ

Replies:   Radagast
Radagast 🚫

@awnlee jawking

She forgot that the Sultan's mother has the power of life and death over the women in the harem.

Obviously for the normal man the correct harem number is one. When the divorce inevitably happens, if he had more than one he will have to give each woman half of his stuff to make her go away, leaving him with nothing or a massive debt.

Replies:   Dominions Son  joyR
Dominions Son 🚫

@Radagast

Obviously for the normal man the correct harem number is one. When the divorce inevitably happens, if he had more than one he will have to give each woman half of his stuff to make her go away, leaving him with nothing or a massive debt.

Well technically, the first to divorce him would get half.

The second would only get half of the half that remained after the first divorce, or 1/4 of the original.

The third would only get 1/8 of the original.

joyR 🚫

@Radagast

Obviously for the normal man the correct harem number is one. When the divorce inevitably happens, if he had more than one he will have to give each woman half of his stuff to make her go away, leaving him with nothing or a massive debt.

In countries where harems are legal, the divorce laws are very different.

I don't think you can use the 'normal' man based on a western culture as a basis for anything that is practised in very different cultures.

Replies:   Remus2
Remus2 🚫

@joyR

I don't think you can use the 'normal' man based on a western culture as a basis for anything that is practised in very different cultures.

Comparing cultures as a basis for judging 'normalcy' is never a good idea. Yet the U.N. does so on a frequent basis.

helmut_meukel 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Would you prefer to live a childless life of luxury in a harem, with every whim except pregnancy catered for? Or would you prefer living hand-to-mouth but able to pop out as many kids as you want?

There is a difference between back then and today you both seem to ignore.
"pop out as many kids as you want" doesn't describe the choice back then. There was a high risk of dying in childbed and due to no contraception, "as you want" is an euphemism.

HM.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫
Updated:

@helmut_meukel

If you're in a harem of 1000 women, I wonder what the chances of getting pregnant are. Even without considering that a man with so large a harem must be compensating for feelings of inadequacy. A bit like men who buy the largest dog possible or the largest car possible or the largest bike possible to compensate for their

ETA Oops - my post fell foul of the angle bracket 'facility'. The elided bit read 'less than 4" endowment'.

AJ

Replies:   Ferrum1
Ferrum1 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Must be? Really? That's a rule? There couldn't possibly be any other reasoning?

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Ferrum1

Must be? Really? That's a rule? There couldn't possibly be any other reasoning?

I suppose a man might buy a huge dog for home security, or to pleasure his wife ;-)

AJ

DBActive 🚫

@Ferrum1

I expect that most were hostages to secure those alliances.

Replies:   Ferrum1
Ferrum1 🚫

@DBActive

Not "hostages" in the sense we think of today. For them, it would have been a great honor and one they happily took on. Or, as happily as anyone could in those kind of days.

Replies:   DBActive
DBActive 🚫

@Ferrum1

Not hostages? Except if their family misbehaved, they were permanently maimed or killed.

Replies:   Ferrum1
Ferrum1 🚫

@DBActive

In what culture? Harems were the norm around the world for most of human history so it's disingenuous to suggest that some form of punishment was universal or even commonplace within any given culture.

Also, such behavior would have been rather 'last resort' I think since such an affront to the family of the woman could cause a war or other unpleasantness.

Speaking in a general sense, the wives were different than the concubines, but everyone had to pull their weight and offer something of value to the household to compensate for their upkeep a bit. And it would have been seen as something of a win for the woman because being chosen to live in a harem was far better for her than living with a poor potato farmer, grubbing in the dirt all day.

I don't know that she'd be any safer in the harem, but we can't say people were particularly safe outside of the harem, either. Those were very hard days and people died at the drop of a hat.

Replies:   DBActive
DBActive 🚫

@Ferrum1

Also, such behavior would have been rather 'last resort' I think since such an affront to the family of the woman could cause a war or other unpleasantness.

Sure it would. But for the dominant power possession of the women insured the good behavior of the subordinate state. They wouldn't rebel knowing that doing so would result in their daughters or sisters having their heads cut off.

Replies:   Ferrum1
Ferrum1 🚫

@DBActive

Yea, for the most part. But there were also dozens of other insurance policies as well. Considering how much war there has been in the Middle East and Persia throughout history... I don't think having a daughter in a harem was ever much of a hindrance.

John Brave 🚫

@Ferrum1

I think most women today would love the chance to live in some millionaire's harem if they could pull it off.

Maybe not 'most' but a small majority.

I pick up way too many women in the Caribbean and they would remain on the boat with me until I kick them out. Few women ditched their husbands and stayed on board for whole summers. At one point I had 14 women on board all willing to do anything to stay.

There is a certain class of women who value comfort and easy life above all else. They're willing to trade their bodies (just sex or even child bearing) for the easy life.

Replies:   Ferrum1
Ferrum1 🚫

@John Brave

We'll likely never know, but I'd bet that you could have picked up far more women if it was within their ability to make it happen. As it was, you could only get a small handful, relatively, because those were the ones that could manage it with their existing relationships and other commitments.

I'd bet good money that 70% of women would happily live in the wealthy man's harem if it was possible. And those that say they wouldn't... well, probably don't want people thinking they're shallow or whatever.

In ancient times, I bet that would jump to 90% if only because it meant a better chance of simply surviving.

Replies:   John Demille
John Demille 🚫

@Ferrum1

In ancient times, I bet that would jump to 90% if only because it meant a better chance of simply surviving.

I would think that 98% of women would in the past. It would be 100% if there were no butch lesbians.

Modern times are different. Especially in the west where women are taken care of in general by the government and they don't face any survival issues.

Hell, with services like onlyfans and cam sites, soft prostitution allows women who are pretty enough to make more than enough money to make most men envious.

A year ago in Florida I came across a woman who had her own male harem. She was a social media 'Influencer' (read online prostitute) and she had three men with her at her beck and call.

Replies:   Ferrum1
Ferrum1 🚫

@John Demille

Can't argue with that!

LupusDei 🚫
Updated:

@Quasirandom

It depends.

When we talk deep emotional involvement, even a threesome is already a lot.

Fully formed polygamous threesome doesn't have merely two or three pairwise relationships to manage, but a total of seven. Because every one will have a separate relationship with the other two as couple and then there's all three as equals:

AΓ·B

A+C

B+C

A+(BC)

B+(AC)

C+(AB)

A+B+C

Permutations between four people add not just one, there's three new pairings and two couples per person to be joined, and three more threesomes, but also a whole two new levels, an individual to a threesome and combinations of parallel pairings, for a total of 27 possible unique relationships between them:

AΓ·B

A+C

A+D

B+C

B+D

C+D

A+(BC)

A+(CD)

A+(BD)

B+(AC)

B+(AD)

B+(CD)

C+(AB)

C+(AD)

C+(BD)

A+B+C

A+B+D

A+C+D

B+C+D

AB+CD

AC+BD

AD+BC

A+BCD

B+ACD

C+ABD

D+ABC

A+B+C+D

Add the fifth or more, we would need to device a formula (yes, it will include a factorial as a component, where 5! = 120 already), and the result would be rapidly growing number.

It's obvious that some of those possible relationships would never be explored even less maintained consciously, but any of them can fail catastrophically.

By contrast, in a classic large scale harem we have a sultan and an ever growing more or less self governing group of women some of whom may never be favored by a visit to sultan's bed after the initial accusation, if even then, while some may be favored wifes, up to having political influence over the man. Such favoritism may greatly influence group dynamics between the women, as shifting sultan's sympathy may, but not necessarily must be mirrored by perceptions of relative power within the wifes group.

As long as harem wifes aren't trying to kill each other and there's always a smiling girl to take to bed, the sultan may not care his seemingly free choice of a partner is a result of complex intrigue and power games between the women. Delving into that would generally be counterproductive, if even sometimes necessary to prevent the worst abuses. It's also possible he would explicitly delegate that managment, either to a preferred senior wife or an eunuch.

Large scale, emotionally distant harem would require infrastructure and acceptance in place that is out of practical resources for anyone but kings or cult leaders, and retaining all the women captive may be highly impractical even then. Especially in modern world where progeny and health concerns can be managed differently.

richardshagrin 🚫

@Quasirandom

I recommend a story I am currently re-reading with a harem theme.

"'Wagons Ho! - The Early Years' by Lazlong
Size: 360 KB
Word Count: 71,937
Downloads: 142747
Weekly: 106
Votes: 1804
Score: 8.47
Last Accessed:
10/1/2021, 8:47:50 AM
Voted: Yes (8)
A Story in the Wagons Ho! Universe
This is a continuation of Wagons Ho! It tells of getting the ranch in Oregon started, with new loves, new friends, new babies, and new problems.
Genre: Erotica
Codes: Ma/Fa, Ma/ft, Fa/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, BiSexual, Historical, Group Sex, Oral Sex, Exhibitionism, Slow
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Posted: 2006-01-16
Concluded: 2006-06-26"

rustyken 🚫

@Quasirandom

To me the word 'harem' implies certain inter personal dynamics. Where a family unit consisting of multiple adults implies a different kind of inter personal dynamics. The latter is often referred to as a harem but it really isn't, but I don't know of another word to characterize it.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫
Updated:

@rustyken

Polycule? Group marriage?

richardshagrin 🚫

@Quasirandom

How large a harem in two large? Two, obviously.

Quasirandom 🚫

@Quasirandom

Circling back to this question, I just reread Daze in the Valley, and … yeah. It's right at the end of Part II, when the quartet opens up to an octet, that the members of the main harem get less distinct β€” and the emotions get more told rather than shown. That this is dilution is in conjunction with a time-skip over many events later told in summary doesn't help.

The dynamic of the first two parts, with eight friends forming a company while in relationships of two couples and a quartet, is really cool. I would not have minded one bit if the story had continued exploring that scenario, through the strain of the further plot evolutions.

I'll give the author props: one of the driving tensions of the final third is that Adam struggles with feeling disconnected from the individual members of his harem, because there's too many to stay close to all of them. Which makes the absence of the scene that Allie even directly says needs to happen, a discussion about the membership issue, all the more disappointing.

OTOH, I also just reread Gail Dayton's Compass Rose trilogy (originally published by Harlequin/Mira), where the female protagonist's group marriage ultimately grows to a dozen members, mixed men and women, all straight, all of whom remain distinct, with distinct relationships with the protagonist. So, yeah, IDK. Large groups can be done well, with sufficient skill.

FairWeatheredFriend 🚫
Updated:

@Quasirandom

If i remember correctly the harem in daze of the valley was more of an open relationship type thing, i can only recall 2 women that didn't have sexual encounters with anyone else outside of the octet. It was told in one of the later chapters that some of the harem members we're indeed sleeping around with non octet members when they kept swapping houses / bed mates.

Maybe im wrong tho, its been awhile since iv read it.

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@FairWeatheredFriend

Many of the women did sometimes have sex with other women, both in a professional capacity and by inviting them (four total) into the basement for occasional fun times, but none had sex with other men. Adam continues to work in the industry and joins in when others are in the basement, plus gets loaned out once for a date.

G Younger 🚫

@Quasirandom

Nine

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@G Younger

Got any good examples of up to that number?

Replies:   Radagast
Radagast 🚫

@Quasirandom

The Nazgul. They were obviously Sauron's bitches.

red61544 🚫

@Quasirandom

From my own personal experience of having a harem, one was too many!!!

ystokes 🚫

@Quasirandom

I stopped reading Duel Writer's "Chuck and Lisa" when the number went over 15 and he could do all of them each night.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫

@ystokes

and he could do all of them each night.

And there in lies the real problem.

Assume he spends 30 minutes on each one, including foreplay. That's 7.5 hours of sex per day. At that level even if you posit sufficient endurance for that, you still run into practical/logistical issues that go beyond sexual endurance.

Consider a normal week day with a full time job.

Full time job: 8 hours/day.
3 meals at 30 minutes/meal: 1.5 hours/day.
Sex: 7.5 hours/day
Sub-total, 17 hours.

That leaves just 7 hours for sleep and no time at all for any kind of personal leisure/recreation.

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Dominions Son

Assume he spends 30 minutes on each one

On the other hand, if he's a typical male he'll be able to do all of them in 30 minutes ;-)

AJ

Franco 🚫

@Quasirandom

King Solomon is said to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines. I believe that the old Jewish law was that a man could have as many wives - and maybe concubines too - as he could have sex with once a month. If Solomon followed that law he would need to have sex with 83 of his women per day.

richardshagrin 🚫

@Franco

King Solomon

Should be spelled soloman. Just one girl at a time.

Grey Wolf 🚫

@Franco

Unless I am misreading something, I believe the number would be 34.5 on average (1000 / 29). It appears that the Jewish calendar has at minimum 29 days in a month. For the current calendar, it'd be 35.7.

Still quite a feat, but then I suppose it depends on how one defines sex :)

robotica 🚫

@Quasirandom

Pushing it a bit would be a group of 7 or 8 females at any one time, with a stable-ish FF pairing as seen in, e.g., Xanthos Pendragon's Master PC: The Eclectic's Edition over at ASSTR. More than 8 and it would be hard to keep all the characters in the head when reading. Without the mind-control element, 5 females or fewer seem to be the sweet spot to keep the dynamics both manageable and varied, more than 5 and the female characters feels like underdeveloped disposable "generic female".

(Even in Chinese webnovels it is actually quite hard to find harems with more than 5 well-developed female concubines. The hierarchical model doesn't save you from the mathematical reality that the dynamics grows exponentially with the number of females, with all the possible shifting alliance cliques and backstabbing that follows inevitably. Usually female authors portray the intrigues and scheming really well, and male authors typically wouldn't touch that with a barge pole. However, it is a mystery to me why Japanese light novels/manga/anime is struggling with this given the organisation of the Ōoku should have provided a similar scaffolding to build on.)

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫
Updated:

@robotica

Usually female authors portray the intrigues and scheming really well, and male authors typically wouldn't touch that with a barge pole

True that. It's part of the reason I often prefer female authors for my harem reads (in contrast to when I'm just looking for an adventure romp).

Yanno, I don't know of a Japanese tradition (Genji not withstanding) of novels set in the ōoku, the way there is of Chinese stories of the women's quarters. I'm hardly an expert, but I've never heard of it.

Quasirandom 🚫
Updated:

@Quasirandom

Woofs, here's a classic example: Wizard's Legacy by Rotedrachen. The first two wives are great, and it's a bit of a hand wave but I can see how the third fits in, but then we get a prophecy no less that the MC will have seven and I facepalm, because when #4 shows up, the first two have become indistinguishable, and #5 herself is barely distinct herself. It's all the worse when 6&7 are twins.

Decent adventure, way too large a harem.

Replies:   salt.pepper58
salt.pepper58 🚫
Updated:

@Quasirandom

Sorry to bump in this forum, I have been looking for good harem based stories(one male, multiple female), I have started with a classic "Six times a day" by Spacer X and that pretty much formed a standard which I have not been able to find in other stories(I have read Spacer X other stories also)

My main criteria is a modern day/realistic story with one man multiple female harem(more sex), except no alternate reality, time travel, Science Fiction, fantasy elements, mind control, Extra Sensory Perception....

Could anyone recommend anything with realistic elements please

Replies:   Michael Loucks
Michael Loucks 🚫

@salt.pepper58

Could anyone recommend anything with realistic elements please

My series 'A Well-Lived Life' meets these criteria.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Quasirandom

How large a harem is too large?

When the combined weight of protagonist plus harem exceeds 1 ton so they can no longer hold an orgy in an elevator?

AJ

Replies:   Quasirandom
Quasirandom 🚫

@awnlee jawking

What about the freight elevator? It can handle more, though the comfort leaves something to be desired.

Replies:   Radagast  awnlee jawking
Radagast 🚫

@Quasirandom

If your orgy is going to be rishathra between hominids then you need Arthur C. Clarke's Space Elevator.

Replies:   Quasirandom  madnige
Quasirandom 🚫

@Radagast

Skyhook ecstasy!

Replies:   Radagast
Radagast 🚫

@Quasirandom

We should issue cops Tasps instead of Tasers for a kinder, more loving police force.

madnige 🚫
Updated:

@Radagast

rishathra between hominids

Rishathra is "sexual practice outside one's own species but within the intelligent hominoids", so 'between hominids' is redundant. Anyway, isn't that how SIV (simian immunodeficiency virus) jumped species to H.Sap?

ETA: I recently started rereading Ringworld Engineers, and re-found one of my favourite Niven quotes:

he avoided cheese as if it were spoiled milk

Replies:   Radagast  Radagast
Radagast 🚫

@madnige

Horny Bantu women being banged by long fanged chimps or mad scientists rushing untested vaccines into the community. Which is more likely?
https://documents.uow.edu.au/~bmartin/dissent/documents/AIDS/River/NYReviewBooks.html

Replies:   Radagast
Radagast 🚫

@Radagast

A possible new niche for fetish movies. CHIMPED.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Radagast

A possible new niche for fetish movies. CHIMPED.

Wasn't there a film in which that was implied? 'Max, Mon Amour' or something like it.

AJ

Replies:   Radagast  Radagast
Radagast 🚫

@awnlee jawking

No clue. Have a story about encountering intelligent tool using apes:
https://storiesonline.net/s/72028/bonnie

Radagast 🚫
Updated:

@awnlee jawking

OK,its real. The mind boggles. A chimpanzee cuckolding movie. Imagine being paid to molest young Charlotte Rampling while wearing a monkey suit.

Rule 34 of the internet once again proves true. No matter the subject, there is porn of it.

Replies:   Radagast
Radagast 🚫
Updated:

@Radagast

Keeping the thread drift on track, heres a story about a would be lothario glued into a monkey suit:

https://storiesonline.net/s/61032/runaway-monkey

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Radagast

A possible new niche for fetish movies. CHIMPED.

IIRC, one of the women's fantasies published by Nancy Friday involved a woman seducing a gorilla so scientists could recover his sperm from her vagina.

I suspect that hasn't made it to celluloid ;-)

AJ

Replies:   Radagast
Radagast 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I suspect she watched Fay Wray in King Kong, then tarted it up for a modern audience.

Radagast 🚫

@madnige

The milk was so spoiled that when the farmer complained about the odor, instead of washing it decided to hold its breath until it turned blue.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Quasirandom

But avoid an orgy in a playtex bra, which 'lifts' and 'separates'. It acts as an elevator (lift) but the separating would probably cause the harem to break up. Good for intersternal gaps though ;-)

AJ

Redsliver 🚫

@Quasirandom

Let me, an author of harem fiction that has bitten off more than I can chew from time to time[/understatement], weigh in.

The benefit of the harem story is that it folds into two of the three male mating strategies - novel and long term. And some delve into the third one - criminal, but it's not necessary.

Novel - the thrill of the hunt, new sex, new partners, newness. Short term mating strategy.

Long term - all of the emotional I'll be there for you and you're mine's as you can handle.

Harems let the author play with both strategies and win. It's wish fulfilment, obviously, but you also get to play with the conflicts that arise from both.

So how big of a harem is too big? Seven among equals. Seven girls on equal footing is too big. Six is difficult. Five isn't easy. Four is kinda the sweet spot. Three is excellent. Two just falls awkwardly into the potentially realistic for me. Get a little silly. What's wrong with silly?

But that's among equals. If the story of the harem is tiered. For example: Mark has his main girl Mary. Then they have their sluts, and an ever expanding web of less and less important women, a bigger harem can work better. This of course means that the long term strategy breaks down the further down the ladder you go, and the girls each rung down become more property than partner. Maybe that's how the story works, maybe it ruins the fantasy. Hard to say.

Blizzard has three girls. Shelter in Place has four. Hot Tub Love Machine has Five. These are all functional harems.

I Have No Idea takes the tiered approach, but the top tier is still a pair of twins, a sister-in-law, a stepmother, a work friend, and a saleswoman. It's a bit of a struggle. If you're going the tiered route, I'd suggest a tip-top tier of 1 or 2 girls.

Monkey's Wrench has 9 girls and then expands. It's not the worst I've done, but I can't imagine anyone but me getting through it while keeping all of the girls differentiated in their head.

A visual medium, like a comic or video game, actually serves larger harems better because it's easier to remember faces than names. For instance Something Unlimited, a parody of Justice League Unlimited's Grudge Match episode, has Lex Luthor collecting and prostituting a harem of superheroines. Let's the name recognition and visual differences of characters do a lot of the mental work for the player.

In conclusion. Every harem is at least a little too large for someone. Try to find ones where that someone isn't the author.

Replies:   richardshagrin  Marius-6
richardshagrin 🚫

@Redsliver

Every harem is at least a little too large for someone.

That's why some guys don't have even one.

Marius-6 🚫

@Redsliver

I am writing a story with two "harems" the "neighbors" of the MC are PMCs (Professional Military Contractors) who have become involved with a number of illicit activities for both the money and the thrills.

The PMCs have a "harem" in the vernacular of prostitution a "stable" of young women and teen girls.

The MC also begins accumulating several young women and teen girls. Definitely a "tiered harem" although as some characters story arc progresses they realize they don't have to provide sex for security.

All characters are flawed, and at the beginning are engaging in a variety of risky activities. Some are on a "redemption arc" others aren't.

Most of the women and girls have been rescued from prostitution, survival sex, etc. Escorting and other sexual excesses occur, however, they are not the main story arcs (although some story arcs are influenced by sexual endeavors).

The MC has up to 7 women/teen girls, but not all in a "harem" at the same time. One of the conflicts in the story is the changing dynamics of the relationships. All of the characters have issues to work through (or not).

The MC (nor any other characters) ever attempt to engage in sex with All of the women in a 24 hour period. Some of the sex is rather mercenary.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫

@Marius-6

Some of the sex is rather mercenary.

A not small amount of real sex in the real world is like that.

Harold Wilson 🚫

@Quasirandom

> How large is too large?

One.

If it floats, flies, or fucks, you're going to have problems with it. Rent, don't buy.

KimLittle 🚫

@Quasirandom

As a student of classic harem manga and anime (I'm talking the work of Ken Akamatsu and Rumiko Takahashi here), it's really difficult once the protagonist actually lands one. Even in eromanga, they don't really balance out and 'work'. Once they've hooked another, it just becomes another orifice in the pile.

The classic Japanese manga and anime harems are designed to give the (typically undesirable) protagonist a choice between a range of different tropes/archetypes. You know the recipe:
- A feisty childhood friend (probably tsundere).
- A little sister type (the jailbait).
- A stacked confident older-sister type, with a dirty sense of humour.
- A distant, upper-class girl. The ojousama. Possibly naive, maybe dismissive or disgusted by the protagonist. But only outwardly.
- The aunt.
- The whacked out one. Usually a foreigner.
- Possibly a robot as well?

Which lends itself well to stretching out a long serial where they are getting closer to each of them in turn, and just when you think they will hook one, an incident occurs to refocus their attention on the other. Great for longevity. Works will for planning paths through a visual novel for playability.

Once they actually start fucking, seems to all fall apart.

Personally, I find harem of one to more than enough trouble. ^_^

akarge 🚫

@Quasirandom

I like harem stories and think 6 is probably too many, even though I have at least two stories with ten.
On the other hand, I don't necessarily WRITE well enough to consider myself as successfully describing those people and their interactions.

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