I have been working on stories. Recently, I posted something but somehow the chapter that got posted was never edited so I took it down. I keep futzing with it - but I took a short break to post this for giggles and shits.
I wrote these with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Many authors follow a certain type of pattern or theme. I certainly do. Just like rock bands follow a pattern or theme. Judas Priest has a range of the type of music they do, that never overalps Celene Dion (unless AI is involved). My range is pretty wide - civil war era, science fiction, futuristic, but mostly modern middle America. Many of my main characters are nerdy guys who love butts - but that's because I am writing what I know.
my friends stories are what I call tragedy porn. This isn't meant to shame him. I was futzing around with the mad-lib style of his stories and having some fun writing up ideas. I thought I would share them with you (not as mean spirited) but just as a laugh.
These stories involve Leo who is a hapless loner, who has a malady of some kind with a tragic background that would depress Charles Dickens. He is doing some boring thing. The first few chapters will drag slowly through exposition and summary writing of telling without showing. He will meet Mary - a sexually confident woman, attractive, vibrant, who for whatever reason is extremely lonely and somehow instantly falls in love with Leo without him really trying, often finding his gaslighting and love bombing to be endearing. She will somehow be at the same time polyamorous/swinger but also desiring a long-term monogamous relationship with the main character. Despite the attempts by the author to make the characters sympathetic, their lives from the point the story begins will contain no challenges, no ups and downs, no bills, no ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, no complications - they barely if at all ever go to a job, always have enough money, never laid off or get sick and generally live a bliss ninnies dream placid life - which makes it impossible to add any tension or overcome any challenge. If there are side characters all, they will disappear into the background during key dialogue, often the author will never explain what's going on when the conversation starts - so no one knows where they are, who else was there, what their tones of voice are. If the main character has parents, they will have drastic personality shifts from chapter to chapter - perhaps in one chapter being extremely liberal and open-minded to the point of extreme, and in the next completely not there, and in the next harsh and strict. They generally only appear when needed, like puppets to be brought on stage for exposition and then quickly ran off-stage. Eventually the author will eliminate the possibility that anyone could ever interact with them by setting them in remote, adults only places just for couples, or conveniently have side characters "off-screen" - often summarizing key plot elements that should have been part of the main story and would have added depth -but he is in a hurry to get to the ending. The ending is always a confusing mixture of smarmy dialogue, vows of unrequited love despite no crucible or test of the endurance of the relationship, they will declare their love for one another and then the story ends with some meaningless gesture like the Mary character receiving a dress from her parents, or Turtle Wax from her employer.
There are three acts:
1. The long boring exposition to set the scene, often in summary form so that the reader knows all sorts of details about each character, which will be rendered irrelevant and never referenced again once the story begins.
2. The short boring chapters of bliss ninny relationships, where Leo does things that should be seen as manipulative red flags, such as lying that his dead mother always wanted him to have apple pie so she should make him apple pie. The mary character who loves cooking in earlier chapters will get her sister to make it, even though they don't have the ingredients, skill level, or necessary time to prepare. The sister will never question it or even complain - just jump right to it. In this chapter, characters often say what they want without saying why they want it, and phrases that are essentially "Weeks went by, and some interesting things happened - you'd have to imagine what those are though"
3. The tedious ending in which the characters express devotion unnecessarily after a short period, even though they barely know this person and have not been through any hardship with them to build that trust, often these characters had tremendous trust issues in their backstory, but that is largely forgotten. All to conclude in a romantic conversation that is followed either by an unlikely invitation to sex parties where all participants are never jealous, never interested in any fetishes, and compartimalize it so that they can easily return to their normal vanilla monogomous relationships with absolutely no hang ups, or it ends with a meaningless gift or accomplishment, like if the character says this was the best, worst thing that ever happened to them and builds up the possibility that the outcome is sensational - they get a single dress from their parents and no one else's Christmas present is ever discussed, or they receive a game of parcheesi.
1. Leo the Page Turner and the Pie
Act 1:
Leo grew up with a father who called him worthless daily until Leo believed it. He now works as a page turner at an old folks home. The chapter drones on about the smell of old paper and the worn carpet patterns. None of it matters later.
Mary enters. She is hot, tan, wearing yoga pants, sexually confident but claims she has never been able to have an orgasm and asks Leo to help even though she doesn't know him. She instantly loves Leo. He never has to try - never worry about money or a place to live, or have any situation come up that he'd have to overcome or face a hardship.
Leo uses fake vulnerability by telling her, “No one’s ever made me cry tears strong enough to heal. Maybe you could.
Mary should instantly see through this, and since there was never any reason for him to cry since no hardships ever befall him once the story begins, there are no challenges, no one gets sick, has a bill to pay etc, it's obvious he as faking.
Mary gags on his dick trying to suck it she loves him so much.
Act 2:
They go on dates where Leo gaslights her by saying, “My dead mother always said only a good woman would make me apple pie.” Mary calls her sister to bake it despite having no apples, flour, or oven skills. The sister complies without complaint.
Leo hands Mary a picture of his dead mother and tells her to look more like that because it reminds him of his mom.
The picture is actually Morgan Fairchild with huge fake tits.
Mary goes out and gets cosmetic surgery and instantly heals. She hopes Leo approves.
Leo laughs and says he was only testing her to see if she was willing to do what it takes to be with him but now he has grown tired of her face and he wants her to change it again.
Mary does, but the author never describes that since he grew bored with the scene.
Act 3:
They declare undying love on a couch while watching dust float in the sunbeam. She gifts him a turtle wax kit for his non-existent car, and the story ends.
2. Leo the Dashboard Mechanic and the Unused Swinger Room
Act 1:
Leo’s mother died of cholera while birthing him. His dad blamed him for killing her and kicked him out at 9. He now works as a dashboard mechanic – calibrating dashboard bulbs for 8 hours a day. The chapter describes dashboard bulb brightness calibration, never mentioned again.
Mary walks in with a swinger’s club pamphlet, instantly attracted to Leo’s blandness.
Act 2:
They spend silent days together. Mary hints at her swinger lifestyle, but he love bombs her with phrases like, “I never want you to see another man again,” and she swoons.
Act 3:
The ending is a single sentence that said they fall in love forever and had a rich life full of adventures that would have been much more interesting to read about.
3. Leo the Toll Booth Supervisor and the Hurricane
Act 1:
Leo was burned as a child saving ants from a magnifying glass fire. His parents called him a moron for it. Now he works as a toll booth supervisor, ensuring drivers have exact change. The chapter describes coin denominations and how Leo often finds efficiencies as a toll supervisor - full of painful exposition.
Mary drives through the toll, instantly falls for his dead eyes and flat affect.
First date, he says, “I’ve waited my whole life for you. You’re my queen, my soulmate, my everything.”
What should be seen as desperation born of loneliness, is seen as charming. Mary sits on his dick and lets him do anal in front of her parents for no apparent reason.
the parents do not comment, because it is unclear if they are still in the scene for most of it.
Act 2 (Non-Sequitur):
A hurricane hits. The toll booth is destroyed. They laugh about it. Somehow neither loses money or jobs.
They spend the night in a motel where Mary says, “I never thought I could love again.”
Leo also says "I never thought you could love again, but now you do, and so do I, so let's move in together and you throw away everything you ever owned in case an ex-boyfriend touched it because now you are unclean."
He never has to try - never worry about money or a place to live, or have any situation come up that he'd have to overcome or face a hardship. All of Mary's cousin want to have sex with him. Mary likes having sex with lots of guys but insist the cousins stay away from Leo. She never expects Leo to keep it in his pants and not have sex with them. No one complains about the total double standard or even calls her out for it. The storyteller never even thinks it.
Act 3:
They promise eternal devotion while eating stale donuts. Ending: After a long build-up about a secret reward she gets a coupon for Turtle Wax from work
4. Leo the Shoe Polisher and the Forgotten Goth Daughter
Act 1:
Leo’s mom abandoned him in a bus station locker for two days. Now he polishes shoes in a corporate lobby, describing heel scuffs for 12 pages.
The scene shifts to a Dallas/Dynasty type family that has nothing to do with the story. They are wealthy beyond measure with more wealth than they can ever spend and more on the way. They have sex, but their dialogue is unclear since no one speaking is every attributed by name, and no tone of voice is ever provided to give context.
Two of the characters are also named Mary, but neither of them are the Mary of the story. "It's just random that some people are named Mary" says the author.
The scene inexplicably shifts back, and the land deal referenced in the last scene is never again mentioned and has no connection to whats happening.
Mary walks by. Her perfume wafts over him. She is stunning, confident, and lonely.
Leo's dad gets run over by a puppy driving a jeep cherokee for no reason. It was a freak accident.
Leo says that his Dad always wanted him to have anal, and so Mary let's him fuck her butt.
He admits he was lying and didn't know anal meant in the butt. He doesn't have sisters or a mother to teach him this. This is also a lie and Mary would know that mothers and sisters do not teach this.
She does not question it and she never even mentions it again.
Leo quotes Beastie Boy lyrics as if they are original poetry. Leo tells Mary that he can run the marathon to the very last mile. She is enamored with him. Mary ignores these obvious red flags and finds him fascinating.
Act 2:
They date. Her goth daughter, suspicious at first, calls him “the best” within one conversation despite her lifelong trust issues. She fucks him with Mary, and then changes into an ordinary teenager because it is easier to write. She becomes complacent and only does really boring things.
Then she is raped by someone she knows, which doesn't belong in this story and had nothing to do with it. The characters tell fart jokes at the end of the act and have forgotten about the daughter's trauma.
Act 3:
They vow love forever while eating plain oatmeal which is Leo and Mary's favorite kind of oatmeal. Mary says "I don't like things with TOO much flavor" and Leo says she is actually eating gourmet oatmeal with seven kinds of flavor. Mary believes it, even though it's obvious he is lying to her. She tells her sister who somehow showed up in the scene, and is possibly nude for some reason that Leo would never lie to her.
Leo Forces her to share her phone location at all times to prove she is loyal and tells her that his dead mother always wanted her to suck his dick right now.
Mary believes it, and asks his dead mom to forgive her for not knowing that.
Leo makes a tiny voice that is supposed to be his dead voice while moving his lips "That's because you are stupid and nobody but Leo would ever have you."
Mary agrees.
Leo says he invented Parachute Pants in the 1980s because he was D.B cooper, but the year is 2027 and he's only 19 years old. Mary also believes that.
Ending: They go to her mother's vanilla sex parties, where they think nothing of having sex with their daughter even though they never have before. No one gets weird or even talks about the sex parties later no fetishes ever happen - straight sex.
5. Leo the Escalator Inspector and the Empty Swinger Club
Act 1:
Leo’s parents forgot his birthday every year. He became an escalator inspector. He spends the chapter describing tread depth and safety codes.
Mary meets him inspecting an escalator, instantly swoons over his boring job.
Leo trips down the escalator, during an attempted robbery where Mary is taken hostage and a rape, that had absolutely nothing to do with the main story and was included for no apparent reason - traumatic events are ignored by the characters, who laugh about it shortly after. This event will never again be referenced by anyone in the story.
Act 2:
They go to a swinger club she frequents. Everyone is gone. They sit alone sipping seltzer, discussing their shared love of quiet rooms. His parents own the swingers club and often have very boring vanilla sex. No one is interested in sexual fetishes or engages in them. No one ever gets jealous or finds it weird that their immediate family are joining in. They go home and return to boring monogomous lives and never once find it odd. They do it strictly for sex.
Everything is super easy, barely an inconvenience for a really long time. The author summarizes events that sound interesting at a high level, but never describes any of it- so you can imagine it, maybe.
Act 3:
She buys him a new pair of socks as a sign of devotion. Story ends abruptly.
6. Leo the Library Book Despiner and the Burglary
Act 1:
Leo’s dad told him books were evil. Now he works removing spines from discarded library books for recycling. The chapter details glue residue.
Mary volunteers at the library, sees him despining, falls madly for him. She has to be nude because her parents decided she was a total slut that is learning her lesson. They do not want her to do anything interesting because she is being punished because her step-brother blackmailed her and set her up as the prime suspect to a real murder.
Three hours later, they forget this and say that Mary can invite Leo over and he can fuck her in their bed as long as he doesn't get cum in their eyes if they are sleeping.
Two characters that were introduced earlier, randomly appear like puppets and deliver dialogue, and then disappear back into the ether.
Leo claims that he is Sergeant Pepper, and he has a Lonely Hearts Club Band, which is extremely popular. He quotes Beatles lyrics to her as his own, and says "Mary, You and I have memories Longer than the road That stretches out ahead" and then tells her that the wind cries Mary, and she buys a t-shirt with his face on it because he checks her cell phone each night to see if she texted any other guys/often locks her inside so she can't ever go out even though they live in the most remote place that has ever existed so that no side characters ever need to be introduced.
Act 2 (Non-Sequitur):
Burglars ransack her house. They giggle over it later, unbothered. Insurance covers everything instantly.
Act 3:
He proposes after a single week. She gets a single page from a dictionary framed from her sister as a wedding gift. Story ends. Her six daughters want to have sex with him, but the mom says they can't, even though she had sex with the daughters and him several times, and she has sex with her ex-husband while he is there and she is teaching sex positivity and to not be jealous.
Leo claims his tears can heal small animals, and once his crying resurrected a dead hamster from an earlier story that was exactly like this. Mary doesn't even ask what that even meant.
7. Leo the Elevator Music Programmer
Act 1:
Leo’s mother drank turpentine thinking it was gin, blamed him for not labeling it. Now he programs elevator music playlists. Chapter discusses elevator speaker wattage.
Mary works two floors up. She rides the elevator, instantly finds him irresistible.
Leo asks Mary has anyone ever really been far even as decided, and and the two of them have a long conversation but none of the speakers are attributed and no body language or tone of voice is provided, so you will have to guess if it was sarcasm or not.
Act 2:
They date, go to lunch, spend evenings staring at the microwave turntable rotate.
Leo does something that is tedious and boring in the nude alone - it's not salacious or interesting.
Act 3:
She buys him a jar of pickles as a token of undying love. Ends there.
8. Leo the Scent Strip Inserter
Act 1:
Leo’s parents locked him in a closet for 8 hours a day to “build character.” He now inserts scent strips in magazines. Chapter explains how scent strips are glued in.
Mary is an ad executive. She returns home for Christmas where she is supposed to work on the big dickens account with her fiance Farty McRich. However, it's too much trouble writing about him, so he never shows up. Mary runs into Leo and even though they never went to high school together they think they may have and then get married.
Act 2:
They date in silent bliss. He manipulates her to buy him cologne “because his dead grandma always said he should smell like a man.” She buys three bottles without question.
Act 3:
They pledge eternal love in a grocery aisle. Ending: she gets a half-used lotion bottle from her mom.
9. Leo the Clock Hand Painter
Act 1:
Leo was scalded by soup at 5. His mom screamed it was his fault. Now he paints clock hands at a factory, the chapter describes brush bristle density.
Mary tours the factory, locks eyes with him, instantly loves his tragic aura.
Mary leos her nine children with him alone for 8 hours and goes to work. Each of them had lots of behavioral problems from years of step dad's entering their lives and leaving Nothing is explained about why or how, but when Mary returns home they are all magically fixed and in love with Leo. He didn't have to try, but even if he did, you wouldn't know what he did because it happened off-screen and is never referenced. The children express their undying love for him, and several of them rename themselves Leo.
Leo says his name is really Theo and he was the original Theo Huckstable on the Cosby show but due to all the rapes, he left the show. This storyline has no place in the story and is a bunny trail that will never be referenced again.
Act 2:
They spend afternoons sitting in a park, saying nothing of substance. Her conservative parents appear to disapprove one chapter, then approve the next with no explanation.
He says he wrote the national anthem for Greenland as a child, but it was stolen by the prime minister’s nephew.
Mary doesn't easily verify this, and instead has greenland renamed Leoland as a gift to him because of his large dick.
Everyone in Greenland now loves Leo.
Act 3:
They commit to each other forever. Ending: Greenland gives her a can of Turtle Wax as a parting gift. She cherishes it forever.
10. Leo the Button Thread Cutter
Act 1:
Leo’s dad threw him down stairs once for humming. His hands and feet were chopped off by a weed whacker which gives him cancer. none of these maladies will ever be referenced in the story. Now he cuts loose threads off buttons in a garment factory. Chapter explains polyester thread thickness.
Mary is a seamstress, sees him cutting threads, instantly wants him.
Act 2:
They live in placid harmony. He love bombs her with lines like “You complete the missing buttons on my life,” and she buys it. Leo tells Mary that she is secretly growing larger, and she believes it. He spends a long time on an elaborate prank to make her clothes smaller, until she is fully nude. Once she figures out the ruse, she is not angry. She never questions it again or thinks it was a sign she should not be with him. She asks him to move in.
Act 3:
Ending: they sit silently in a café, holding hands while she gets a dress from her parents. Story ends mid-sentence with Mary saying how much she likes dick.
More;
1. Leo the Shamrock Sticker Packer
Act 1:
Leo’s parents told him he would never amount to anything because he could not blow up balloons without popping them. Now he works packing shamrock stickers for Saint Patrick’s Day decorations. The chapter describes sticker adhesive varieties in tedious detail.
Mary runs the party supply store. She sees Leo taping a box shut and instantly falls in love.
Act 2:
They attend a Saint Patrick’s Day Parade where everyone is sober, quiet, and it rains. Leo tells her his dead hamster loved Saint Patrick’s Day. She swoons. He was lying for no apparent reason or gain.
He asks her to make corned beef for him. She buys pre-cooked slices instead, no one cares.
Act 3:
They confess eternal love while cleaning sticker residue off their fingers. Ending: she gets a leprechaun hat from her dad.
2. Leo the Bee-Keeping Spelling Bee Judge
Act 1:
Leo’s parents told him he was worthless because he once spelled “bee” wrong as a kid. Now he is both a bee keeper and a spelling bee judge. The chapter describes honeycomb frame construction.
Mary’s niece is in the spelling bee. Mary sees Leo judging and falls instantly in love. They are both naked when alone in isolation.
Act 2:
She visits his bee hives, he says “My dead mother always said only real men kept bees.” She calls him brave. He does nothing at all to seem brave, and says that he's never eaten apples -in order to get her to buy him two of them.
Act 3:
They declare devotion in the honey extraction shed. Ending: she gets a jar of his honey as a gift from him, labeled “For Sweetheart.”
3. Leo the Nudist Resort Front Desk Clerk
Act 1:
Leo’s mom said he was an idiot because he believed dogs could understand quantum physics. Now he works at an adults-only nudist resort. Everyone wears jean shorts because they think nudity is illegal. The chapter describes denim thickness.
Mary checks in wearing Daisy Dukes, falls instantly for his bland clerk vibe.
Act 2:
They go for a hike. He love bombs her with “You’re the most clothed woman I’ve ever met.” She tears up. He eats a box of condoms thinking they are gummy worms. They had cum in them. The two of them run away to a place where no one else has ever lived so that no other characters can interact with them.
Act 3:
They declare love while eating plain bagels in the lobby. Ending: her parents gift her a jean skirt.
4. Leo the Cake Candle Quality Tester
Act 1:
Leo’s dad told him candles were for idiots. Now he tests birthday cake candles for burn time accuracy. The chapter details candle wick density.
Mary is the bakery supply manager. She sees him testing candles, instantly falls for him.
Act 2:
He lies, saying his dead mother wanted him to marry a baker. Mary proposes. Some cool shit happens off-screen but it is only told in two sentences. The readers have to guess what it may have been - it was probably really interesting.
Act 3:
They share stale sheet cake in silence. Ending: she gets a single tealight candle from work as a bonus.
5. Leo the Rent-a-Friend Companion
Act 1:
Leo’s parents said he would die alone because he could not tie his shoes properly. Now he works for a Rent-a-Friend service. The chapter details fake friend scripts.
Mary hires him to go to Saint Patrick’s Day karaoke night as a friend. She instantly falls in love.
Leo Makes her block ex-boyfriends and any guy who comments on her posts on all social media.
Mary makes her sister do it. Her sister never speaks during this scene and presumably has her passwords and does it off-screen. This is never again mentioned in the story.
Act 2:
They spend weeks together. Her parents appear one chapter to say “He’s a fuck up” but next chapter praise him as a godsend. No explanation. weeks, and weeks and weeks go by - and probably stuff happened in vague summary form.
Act 3:
They pledge devotion while watching Riverdance on YouTube. Ending: she gets green shamrock socks from her mom.
6. Leo the Inflatable Tube Man Repairman
Act 1:
Leo’s mom told him he was worthless because he liked the color beige. Now he repairs inflatable tube men at car dealerships. The chapter details motor lubrication. The exposition involves the history of everyone he ever dated even though none of that will factor in later. It is written in detail like the Simmarilion.
Mary works at the dealership. She sees him fix the wacky flailing tube man, instantly falls in love.
Act 2:
They date. She arranges a sex party with her friends. He says, “Sure.” They go and only have sex with each other alone in a room because writing about what else is going on would take too long.
Act 3:
They declare undying love while sitting in his work van. Ending: she gets a balloon animal kit from her dad.
7. Leo the Sandcastle Mold Assembler
Act 1:
Leo’s dad said he was a disappointment because he could not build a sandcastle that lasted the tide. Now he assembles plastic sandcastle molds at a toy factory. The chapter describes mold injection pressures.
Mary tours the factory for a corporate acquisition. She sees Leo tightening screws, falls instantly for his monotone humility.
Writes her a 20-page love letter on day three. It's mostly gibberish in the form of a manifesto declaring how he will kill everyone unless Mary loves him forever.
Mary sees nothing wrong with that, and takes him to a gun store.
There are no employees, because other characters take time to write and get in the way. Leo just takes the guns he needs to kill and says "I'll use this on you, everyone you love and myself, if you stop loving me"
Mary says not to worry and that she will always love him. she doesn't see any problem with this.
Act 2:
They spend every night watching reruns of Wheel of Fortune in silence. Often Leo tries to buy a vowel, but he chooses the letter "S" even though it is not a vowel and was already just chosen. Mary agrees S is a vowel after Leo gaslight her into thinking it and despite being the least likable main character of all time, she swoons.
Random interlude: Factory fire, they lose their jobs but laugh it off because “super easy, barely an inconvenience.”
Act 3:
She proposes marriage in the unemployment office. Ending: she gets a sand pail from her sister as a wedding gift.
8. Leo the Lawn Gnome Painter
Act 1:
His mother told him he was worthless because he gave their cat a perm with Nair. Now he paints lawn gnomes. The chapter describes red paint pigment stability.
Mary’s parents own the gnome factory. She sees Leo painting and falls instantly for his sad aura.
Act 2:
Her mom invites them to a sex party. Neither see this as a threat to their new relationship. They attend, stand by the snack table all night, leave untouched.
Act 3:
They vow devotion in front of a shelf of unpainted gnomes. Ending: she gets a single garden gnome from her parents.
9. Leo the Bubble Wrap Pop Counter
Act 1:
Leo’s parents told him he was an idiot because he believed popping bubble wrap counted as cardio. Now he counts popped bubbles at a recycling facility. The chapter details bubble diameter standards.
Mary is the facility’s accountant. She sees him counting popped bubbles, instantly falls in love.
Act 2:
They date quietly. Random interlude: He is attacked by a goose at the park. She laughs. He laughs. He is fine.
Mary has three kids, one of whom is a full time dog. Mary makes several new rules at randoms including "no more dog" the kids simply do as told and never complain or even ask why. Mary never feels it's important to explain what she hopes to gain from them, but insists the girls masturbate in front of her new boyfriend, while simultaneously telling them not to touch him - but at the same time never once telling Leo not to touch them - or even thinking it's his responsibility.
Act 3:
They whisper vows of devotion while sorting paper clips. Ending: she gets a box of mini binder clips from her boss.
Leo tells her that he trained an entire sect of fire ants to write her name using flavorless vanilla ice cream - which is her favorite flavor. When she asks where they are, he admits he was lying and asks to see her clit because he doesn't know what one is.
She shows him in front of her family, despite being embarrassed about it earlier when the saw her naked, because she is so horny all the time for Leo and only Leo.
10. Leo the Coupon Expiration Verifier
Act 1:
Leo’s mom said he was useless because he tried to cook ramen in a toaster. He was kicked in the head with a rusty boot on Christmas and forced to eat a Porkchop out of a dirty ashtray with only his two front teeth. He had a football scholarship but due to his crippling leprosy he lost it. These things will never once be mentioned again in the story.
Now he verifies expiration dates on coupons at a printing warehouse. The chapter explains coupon ink drying times.
Mary works in marketing. She sees him stacking expired coupons, instantly falls in love.
Leo claims he has dual citizenship with Atlantis and will one day reclaim his underwater throne.
Mary laughs at what she thinks he is a joke since it is the plot of every Aquaman film and the just saw the movie together in the nude while alone in a place where no one exists for 500 miles even the ticket taker so that the author doesn't have to write about anyone else in the scene.
He guilt trips her: “You know, I thought you were different – someone who could accept me for who I am.”
Leo tells her she would have been destined to be queen of Atlantis, within hours of meeting her - but she was rude, so now it's never going to happen.
Mary instantly falls in love and marries him - digging her own version of Atlantis, which is only summarized briefly in two sentences - but it would have been really interesting to read about if it had been described.
Mary asks for proof he is the king of Atlantis when the two of them go swimming in a kiddie pool instead in their backyard, with their clothes on because they believe nudity is illegal in all it's forms and Mary was told by her ex-boyfriend from third grade she can never be with anyone else.
Leo says "I showed you my secret powers and trident but you must not have noticed since you never listen to anything that I ever say"
Mary feels guilty and marries her sister to him as well in polygamy. She is never asked if she minds, because she was barely in the story. Presumably, she does. You never know because the wedding scene was skipped.