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July 17, 2015
Posted at 4:34 am
 

A wee little Rant

German Broadcaster RTL has come full circle. They started in the late eighties, broadcasting stroke-shows like the striptease bonanza "Tutti Frutti". One of my earliest 'manhood' memories is that I came home from yet another pointless (read: no woman) visit to the disco, wasted out of my skull, whacking off over some housewife stripping live on TV because she was the strawberry and had just lost because lemon was the right answer. No idea, I was otherwise occupied at the time and with ten beers in the system I wasn't very cognizant to begin with.

RTL, apart from advertising the virtues of female mammary features, are also the broadcaster who has shown F1 on free-to-air TV in Germany since 1991. And boy have they been degenerating! In the mid nineties they were seriously challenging the public networks, but in recent years they've stooped to lows that make 'Trash TV' sound like a knighting.

A couple of days ago I zapped through the channels and ran into something called "Adam seeks Eve", a show on RTL. Why did I watch? Because I'm a man and the first thing I saw was a pair of Bristols - you do the maths. I kid you not, the concept is that they dump a guy and three girls on a tropical Island and they're all naked - all the time. There are two Islands - the 'Island of Desire', where all four of them spend their day looking at each other's decaying flesh and the 'Island of Love' where the guy will be taken with the women he selected because her fanny stinks the least after two weeks without a proper bathroom. The 'Island of Blithering Idiocy' was apparently destroyed by a Volcano eruption.

Jeebus H. Effing Christ. It's been nine years since I had sex the last time and after seeing that I won't need any for the next twenty, it was so disgusting. It practically rendered me infertile. That's where F1 has landed these days. Second rate porn channels or Pay TV.

Let me give you some advice. Pay the 30 bucks for the PayTV channel and save your chance to have kids one day.