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January 31, 2013
Posted at 8:32 pm
 

Child Magus - Finale

--==( Child Magus Posting )==--

The last chapters for Child Magus have been sent in for posting. I received an email regarding what I meant by "last chapters". This is the end of this book, not the series. The next couple of books focus on the Lockdown mentioned earlier in Child Magus as well as other issues that have been ongoing in the background and are coming to a head.



--==( Emails )==--

There are a few emails that I received a while back but never responded to. I'd like to rectify that.



TD,

I've enjoyed your re-write of the original master PC series tremendously! I particularly enjoyed the most recent chapters since I feel like I'm finally starting to see some differences between the different women; previously, despite being a great read, the women all seemed a bit too similar/flat (in personality, not chest).

I was also looking at the comments from the previous reader (which you responded to in your blog) and I'm wondering if the "porn route" s/he's referring to the porn videos that the characters will be making? It would fit in better with her/his subsequent comment passivity. On that, I also feel the passivity and acceptance of his women being in porn is a little bit strange -- it's one thing to be resigned to letting other men eye his women since he's still insecure but it's another thing to be ok with it. Just a minor thought.

Thanks for your hard work in putting together this great piece! I'm very much looking forward to future installments!


Response:

Porn Route: You know, to be honest, I thought he meant the detail in the sex scenes I wrote for the story. Now, reading his email again, I see what you're saying.

To tell the truth, Seth isn't okay with the idea of releasing porn videos in which his girls star. And for some people, ignorance is bliss. So what if they talked about it? Seth has a job as a model and prospects for finding more work in that area. So what if he bought all the equipment and software to make the videos? He did that to cover the fact that he just had sex with Erica in the office - something her boss would never allow! So what if he makes a video or two with Jordan or Danielle, that doesn't mean it would be leaked onto the net, right?

;)



Since you don't seem to mind the commentary, I will continue to provide my observations. I have to say that I thought your latest installment flowed much nicer than the last. I enjoy that you are working in some creative uses of Seth's magic (the sun shower) and hope that Jordan loosens up a bit and starts doing more teaching in this manner. There were a couple of discordant things in this section that I would like to point out to you as a reader.

First, Venera is unfortunately named. I figure that you were naming her that because of the link to Venus, the goddess of love, but my instinctive word connection was with venereal as in the disease. The girl must hate her parents for giving her a name that would make her get teased all through Jr High! If I was her, I would go by a nickname (Nera? Venny? Enna?) or a middle name.

Second, maybe I am missing something here, but I just didn't get the whole "you won't cum in us when we are together" motif in CH 20. Unless the issue is hiding that Jana is on birth control, I fail to connect to the emotional reason for this stricture. The characters talk like this is obvious, but I have to say that it went right over my head. I guess I will have to agree with Seth that it is part of the whole "Janna has issues" theme and leave it to be resolved later. I also thought it strange that Venera was willing to do a "slam bam thank you ma'am" type of encounter after the binding and just leave Seth with no complaint. Was she not emotionally bonded to Seth? Doesn't she want to rub herself against him all night? Yet she just walked out the door like the meeting was over, scheduling an appointment at her office to come talk about Janna.

Third, Jana has essentially been offstage for the last twenty chapters, the only mention of her being when she can't come over. The scene with her makes sense if this is the second or third time that they have been together and this is the culmination of a long absence (she buys him stuff, she is hot for him and they haven't resolved the emotional issues around their relationship). This doesn't make as much sense if they have been seeing one another regularly off camera for weeks. If it has been a long time, then there is another disconnect. If this story is paralleling the Protector series, then binding turns the girls both physically and emotionally towards Seth. Yet the implication is that Janna is still having an affair with Venera while one of Seth's girls. Yes, I know that it should be the other way around, and seems like that to Venera, but the implication is that it is perfectly possible for the girls to cheat on Seth!

Fourth, in the previous chapter, we find that Seth's new "Sunwash" has just ramped his attractiveness up to the point where he has the effect on the women almost as if using a fetish, yet Janna and Venera don't seem to notice. Why? He should still be "tanned" until the catalogue is done according to Jordan.

Finally, when we see Venera's story in CH 21, it is obvious that the two girls were in a committed relationship before all this happened. How can the fetish work on Venera? I understand Jenna, since that was an initiation thing, but it won't work on Venera given the restrictions that you placed upon it early on. You seem to agree in that there is no indication of the almost irresistible horniness that comes from the fetish, but how did the binding work? Perhaps the binding function and the attraction function on the fetish are different powers?

Don't let me leave you with the impression that I didn't like what you are doing, I am truly enjoying the story so far and look forward to your next installment. If you would rather I not comment, let me know and I won't bug you anymore.


Response:

For the person who wrote this and everyone else, you don't have to apologize for writing me about something that bothers you with my stories. I don't have a problem reposting one or more chapters to correct inconsistencies (or grammar/spelling issues). Now, with that said...

First: I renamed Venera as Vanessa. Once you mentioned the phonic connection between Venera and venereal, I couldn't get it out of my head.

Second: For the moment, all I'll say about Jana's issues is that they're "ongoing". In my effort to make all of Seth's girls unique, I've created issues that some people might not have the ability to cope with (in real life). If Seth knew what was going through Jana's head at the time, he didn't share with us. And with Vanessa, yes, she felt everything you described. However, because she didn't want to cause problems with Jana, she chose to leave rather than pursue those emotions and sensations. And the appointment? Who says they'll only talk about Jana? /:)

Third: Keep in mind, those twenty chapters have only comprised two days (The story starts on a Monday, Chapter 8 starts Tuesday, and Chapter 17 starts Wednesday when Seth sees Jana and Vanessa). I also point out that Jordan has talked to Jana about what's going on. To answer your hypothetical scenarios, Seth and Jana have seen each other regularly, which is why Jana's purchase of furniture for Seth is so shocking. Seth didn't even see that coming. As for the bond, yes, it is very similar to what I described in the Protector series (trilogy). The girls are all happy being with Seth, and that includes Jana. However, Jana has issues with men and prefers women. Flat out leaving Vanessa to be with Seth would have hurt both women and Jana couldn't do that. The best she could do, to make herself happy, was to see both. Your suggestion that any of the girls could cheat on Seth isn't laughable. You're quite right. Keep in mind that the mentality of most Magi when it comes to sex and intimate relationships is very different than what we think. Besides, Seth - like Ral - would be happy for any of his girls if they found someone they truly loved and left him. Yes, it would hurt, but as long as the girl was happy (and safe), it would be worth it. I don't currently have any plans for something like that to happen, but it could.

Fourth: A very good point about Seth's tan. Yes, Jana should have noticed. Vanessa never met Seth before that scene so she wouldn't have noticed any changes. Keep in mind, I had the scene in Seth's living room in mind for days before writing it. Which brings up the chapter when he "tanned". Jordan was taking Seth to see Sammi because there was an issue with the pictures. I couldn't think of any kinds of problems short of computer issues and came up with the "Tan" issue at the last second. As soon as I finished that chapter and started work on the scene with Jana, I completely forgot how that seemingly minor change should have registered with her. I've looked into updating the chapter so Jana at least mentions Seth's tan, but the intensity of their exchange leaves all thoughts of his tan behind, even in their exchanges after Vanessa is bound to Seth.



I noticed that in your recent blog post, that your latest chapters have gone to your editors and was wondering if you had a need for any more sets of eyes? I'm currently proof reading for MCGuy101 who has also making the transition from MCStories.

Response:

I have two editors who have been diligent regarding helping with any corrections, Russ and Gray_Shadow. I also have to admit that without Gray_Shadow, some of the plot twists and changes I've made in both stories wouldn't have come about. He's a great soundboard.

I know the more eyes looking over someone's stories, the more likely they are to catch any errors, notice inconsistancies, and spot flaws (still trying to recover from the emails I got regarding certain details I went on about without actually knowing what I was doing! I'm leaving the details out only because I'm not complaining about emails but my feelings of being such a dumb@$$. ;P ). I would look for more editors, but since I only get online about once a week currently, I don't want to bog down the whole process of getting the stories/chapters posted.

As it stands, I sent off the chapters I just posted about three weeks ago. Two weeks ago, I got corrections from Russ and a message from Gray_Shadow that he was having pc problems. Last week, he sent me his thoughts on the finale for the story, and this week, after fighting to re-write that chapter, I've sent it to him again for corrections and further thoughts. I've posted the chapter anyway because even if there are any further revisions, I doubt they'll be much different. At most, it'll be a touch up on what's already there.

This doesn't change my standing rule that if anyone finds anything wrong, shoot me an email and I'll post corrections the next time I'm online.



Hello,

I must say, I've loved reading your Master PC/Magi stories so far, especially this one, though in differrent ways. I must say that this twists in the last two chapters were surprising yet not really. Dumont being a Switch was surprising, but her being a Dominant wasn't. That's not to say I didn't enjoy them, however. In fact this whole angle was a huge twist that I really enjoyed.

While I personally don't identify with Switches, I'm glad that at least the BDSM scene was represented relatively faithfully (I say relatively only because BDSM is such a broad term). What really surprised me though is Katrina being so submissive that she can't figure out that she's in an unhealthy (BDSM) relationship. Also, while I really enjoy the whole 'positive reinforcement' thing, I hope (eventually) to see Katrina get punished, because I feel that showing a proper punishment (as opposed to discipline or simple play) is important. Plus I just like reading those scenes as much as I like reading about positive reinforcement because I believe in that too.

I'm curious how this all plays out, this angle, this Book, as well as the series.


Response:

Thank you for the comments. I have to admit that I've never personally been involved in BDSM or a D/s scene before. Okay, lemme restate that... My ex had me tie her up once and we fooled around that way, but that was the stretch of it. She always told me I could do anything I wanted to with her but after hearing her stories of how her previous husband abused her, I was always too scared to go too far. Granted, if she told me to stop I would have without question. Which brings me to the one thing that bugs me about the BDSM aspects of Child Magus.

There was never a "safe" word.

I've seen plenty of TV shows that touch on D/s and read lots of material on scenes like those but with the one scene I write, there's no line drawn between Seth and his subs. Now, if I write a scene that has more to it that just kinky sex, I'll probably include such things, and do more research on scenes like that, but for the time being, I'm not going to worry too much about it.

As for punishing Katrina... It may be a while before something like that happens. Seth has a lot on his plate, and there are other things about to hit that will keep him too busy to worry about punishment (other than his own).



Good story, looking forward to seeing more updates and anxious to actually find out some information about being a magus, like the houses and more about there magic. Seth doesn't really seem to care or if he does he accepts vague answers and never asks questions. It's strange

Response:

In all honesty, up to this point, I hadn't developed much about the houses, it's all been about Seth's Initiation and building up his Fonti count to meet his needs. The next story will cover a lot more, including ...

WARNING: SPOILER

... a trainer for Seth.



--==( Feedback )==--

I'm looking forward to hearing from everyone regarding whether I should post the next story all-at-once or in sections?

Also, for the Character bios: What should I keep and what should I leave out? One reader has already responded to this, suggesting a rearrangement of information rather than cropping anything. This was his suggestion:

Jordan Krumm

_Character Information________________________________
Character Age: 25
Zodiac: Aquarius
Childhood Environment: Small Town
Birth Order: Only Child
Siblings: None
Residence: Apartment, Small (1/1) in Arlington, Texas
Vehicle: Gold, Car, Luxury
Occupation: Sales (Silk and Lace)
Social/Economic Background: Laborer/Middle Class
Hobbies: Do It Yourself
Nickname: (none)

_Model's Personal Info________________________________
Model Name: Jordan Carver
Born: January 30, 1986
Model Age: 27
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Nationality: German

_Model's Physical Stats_______________________________
Measurements: 40-24-35 in (102-61-89 cm)
Bra/Cup Size: 32I (81I)
Boobs: Enhanced
Height: 5' 6" (1.68 m)
Weight: 121 lb (54.89 kg)
Body Type: Slim
Eye Color: Gray Blue
Hair: Light Brown, Curly, and Mid-Back Length
Pubic Hair: Shaved

_Character's Sexual Aspects___________________________
Favored Position: Tit Fuck
Orgasm Response: Loud Low Moan
Pet Name for Lover: Lover
Relationship: Seth's Fonte
Sexual Orientation: Bi-Sexual
Sexual Persona: Universal Quality
Special Feature: Sheer Sexual Allure

_Sex Magus Series Specific Information________________
1st Appearance: Book I: New Magus
Seth's Fonte: Yes
Magus: No
Mark: None
Power Scale: 0
House Name: Pavonis
House Affiliation: Former Member
______________________________________________________

The same writer also suggested I post a bio ever five chapters so readers can skip them if they choose too. At the moment, I'm going to start off with a single chapter with info on all of the characters who have appeared previously along with short descriptions of how they were involved in New Magus and Child Magus. Any new characters will appear at the end of the chapter they first appear in.

TechnicDragon