Unfortunately, it has come to that time where I shall be taking my leave from these duties of journaling, and to pass the torch on to another, for our chronicler has already moved on to working on the next story, and he felt it best if one of those characters took these responsibilities. I shall truly miss you all. Your comments and letters have been inspirational and flattering, and have moved all of our hearts, and I have enjoyed this experience immensely. I do not know how long this next story shall take, but I do plan on returning sometime when it is finished. But in the meantime, I believe you all will be in good hands when my replacement arrives.
"Excuse me? I beg your par........ don?"
"You! With the bazoongas! <WHEET!> Time to go!"
"Oy! What's the matter? You might want to close your mouth before a bird flys in and makes a nest in there. Got zol oophitn."
"Are...YOU... my replacement?"
"Mazl tov! She figures things out. Yes. Now clear out, and take your herbal tea, or your schnaps, or whatever it is you have there in your Mary Eingelbreit mug and make some room for a Jew. I brought some Diet Mountain Dew. You want some?" <pfft!> "Le-kheiyim!" <slurp>
"You...... are... not what I was expecting."
"Who were you expecting? Xavier Hollander? What? You don't think I have the tsitskes for this job?"
"Well, no... they are actually very nice, but..."
"Well, coming from you, I'm surprised you even noticed them. Actually, I'm surprised you could reach the keyboard. Now move your chair. I hope you don't mind, but I brought my own laptop. I switched to Dvorak. Oy! You gotta try it!"
"And you arrrreeee..."
"Oh! Where are my manners? I must have left them in the car. Hi. I'm Annie. Shoolem alaykhem."
"Hello. I'm Sybil."
"Nice to meet you. So take off now."
"Say 'buh-bye' now. Gay gezinterhayt."
"Go! Travel in good health, and what ever happens to you is your own damned fault."
"See that door over there? You should see it from the other side! Go! Shoo! Shoo! I've got it from here!"
<sigh> "Ladies and gentlemen, apparently I shall be leaving you now, so I leave you in... Annie's ... capable hands. Until later."
"Go! Go! Shoyn!"
Oy vey! I thought she would never leave! Did you see the gazongas on that girl? It's a wonder she could stand up straight! Sheeh! And I thought Tricia was big. Vay iz meer. You could tell that she was a virgin in her elbow. It's the only place that hasn't been used.
Hi. I'm Annie. And I'll be your blogger for this next story.
Now, those of you who have been following that other story? The one with the drabkehs making life miserable for that boy? A lot of you have said you want to follow his writing, so I'm here to tell you that he is continuing writing, but there is going to be a slight change.
You see, it's this pen name. He hates it. And who can blame him? But you think a guy with this much imagination could come up with a good pen name?
But he tells me he has finally found a good name, and I like it too. It's a good Jewish name. He is using the new pen name "Lazarus Valentine", which he likes because he says it means "undying love", or "immortal beloved". Personally, I think it means "that husband who does not have the good decency to die." I asked him how he came up with it, and he told me he used a random name generator at SeventhSanctum.com, which is really worth checking out. Apparently, "Lazarus Valentine" is also a good name for a vampire.
Imagine... a Jewish vampire. I wonder if the blood of innocent virgins is kosher? Shoyn. What can you do?
So if you want to follow this next story, you will have to look for Lazarus Valentine. Also, he has a new email address, firstname.lastname@example.org. So when you write to him, make sure you put that underscore in, cause we don't want some other poor shmendrik getting all sorts of mail asking when Tricia is going to take her top off.
Now also, he's changing the way he's writing. The chapters are shorter, so they should be coming out more frequently. Also, he wants to use proofreaders. So he is making a formal call right now. If you would like to volunteer for proofreader duties, send him some mail at the new email address. And remember, a proofreader is sworn to secrecy, but you also get a sneak-peek at the new story.
He's already finished rough drafts for three chapters, and started the fourth. Busy guy. So he's ready for volunteers right now.
Now I'm sure you have lots of questions about me and this new story, but I am sworn to secrecy. I can't even tell you about this thing here <pat-pat-pat>, but I can tell you that these two <pat-pat> are all natural. Double-D's....... well, thank you! What I CAN tell you is that it's another story of a young boy who gets to schtupn the women with the big bosoms, but I gotta tell you, that's it! That is the only similarity. Be prepared for some surprises.
> To: Mistress Sybil and/or Sandie,
> Being unsure of the protocol I will ask you to
> please anounce to your fans when the next story is
You need not worry about protocol. If there is something I have which you desire, you need only ask. Or if I am in arms reach and in the mood, you may just reach out and grab it.
Our chronicler is in a transition phase right now, and is not only working on the next story, but also working out his new framework. The story will not be organized as previous, where one chapter is one day, so chapters most likely will be smaller and published more frequently. He is also looking into new technology, using HTML instead of simple text files for clearer formatting.
Also, very importantly, he is going to work with proofreaders. So he must arrange for their organization. If you wish to volunteer for this, please contact him. There are also one or two other changes which will be announced later.
These will be announced in the online journal, or as I am constantly informed is its true name, the blog. (I truly detest that name.) I shall make an announcement when the next story is starting.
I hope you are all having a wonderful and festive time. I would send you all cards, but postage rates are prohibitive. Instead, I would like to share with you some news.
I received a call from our chronicler this morning. He interrupted our favorite annual holiday pastime. It is a simple game wherein Marie, Karen, Donna, and myself sprinkle trace amounts of various spices or flavorings in our cleavages, and young Eddie, blindfolded, places his face within our bosoms in an attempt to name the spice. This is an adaptation to an earlier game, “Guess the Cleavage”, in which our young friend simply had to identify the woman based on the affects of her breasts on his face alone, but we changed the rules when we determined that he was not only very adept at identifying us all through scent, firmness, and size, but was also feigning inability to procure extended playtime.
I refer to the game as “Seasonings Greetings”, but Marie simply refers to it as “Spice Racks”.
But on to the news. According to our chronicler, the first rough draft of the final chapter is complete. He says it is very long, over thirty-six thousand words. This is significantly longer than the previously longest chapter, Chapter Four, at thirty-thousand words. But he claims that this chapter covers much territory. I asked him to clarify the presence of a Lamborghini in the upcoming chapter, but he declined to comment. But he did confirm the existence of an additional four thousand word essay that follows the story, detailing behind-the-scenes thoughts and stories.
The next stage is of course, his proofreading, which takes him hours. Unfortunately this being Christmas day, he expects to get very little done today. However he is hopeful for the weekend, in which he has very few other plans.
Also, for the holidays I received a very adorable charm bracelet from Sandy. She seemed quite eager for you all, the readers, to know about this. I cannot fathom the idea of why she would be interested in this, but she is an odd woman with odd tastes. She claims that you readers will eventually understand the significance of the bracelet.
Happy Holidays, and Kisses,
“I know that you are in there! Open the door!”
So, gentle readers, I found myself standing outside of our chronicler's place of residence wearing my dominatrix gear and holding my whip, and not at all bothered by the cool December chill. I am after all, entirely fictional, and am not concerned by such mundane things as actual weather. And I was prepared to issue swift and terrible punishment to our chronicler for being very late in this last chapter, but unfortunately he had locked the door, and was not willing to speak to me. He was actually pretending that he was not home. The gall!
“You cannot stay in there forever! You will have to come out sometime! Good afternoon Madam.” This last bit I said to a passing neighbor who was eying me suspiciously.
The doors were locked. The curtains were open, but I could not see him inside the house. I had checked the back doors and windows, but they were all either locked or just inaccessible.
“I shall stand out here all day if necessary!”, I warned him.
“Hi!... Can I help you?”, sang out a charming voice. I turned at met a young woman, short, petite but very curvy, very pretty, with short black hair and bright eyes.
“Perhaps. I am just trying to get into this house to discuss some issues of vital importance with the man who lives here.”
“Ah... and the whip? Is this necessary for the discussion?”
“I hope not. But probably so. He is very late in his story submission, and his fans are eagerly and patiently awaiting his next chapter of our story.”
She gasped in excitement. “You must be Sybil!”, she said, pointing at me animatedly. “Oh! I am SUCH a huge fan!”
“Why yes... Are you one of his characters as well?”
“Yes I am!” She practically leaped as she spoke. “I'm in the next story!”
“Oh! You must be Annie!”
“Oh, umm... Tricia?”
She shook her head. “Sandy. Pleased to meet you.” She was practically bouncing as she held out her hand to shake mine.
“Oh, I have not heard of you.”, I said, shaking her hand.
“Don't worry. No-one has yet. OHMYGOD! I love your outfit! Where did you get it from?”
“Costume department. I wore it for a dream sequence.”
“Oh! I love this type of stuff!”, she said, spinning and fluttering about me. “I wish I got to wear something like this! This is SEXY! Oooh! Yeah!! You know, I only get two costumes in the whole next story, and you won't BELIEVE the getup he has me in! I mean, it's itchy! It's sweaty!...”
“Really? What does he have you wearing?”
“Oh, gee...” She flustered and waved her hands in front of her face. “Um, ahh... you know... I really can't say. Spoilers and everything! You know? I don't know WHY he sent me out here to deal with you, cause he KNOWS I'm such a motor-mouth! Once I start talking, I just can't stop, you know? I mean, It's so rare that I get to find someone I can just unload on!”
“So he sent you out here to deal with me?”
Sandy clapped her hands over her mouth. “Oh damn! I did it again! Just like, pretend you didn't hear that, okay?”
I shook my head. “Why did he send you out to deal with me?”
She bounced and grimaced. “Wellll.... Probably because of the whip! Those things are scary, you know? Yeah, he probably figured I could deal with it if things got rough. Of course, now that I think about it, I don't know why he sent me out to deal with the woman with the whip because there's someone else in our story who's MUCH better with whips than I am. I mean, I have one, but I haven't gotten the kinks out of it yet, and... Oh god I'm doing it again. PLEASE! Somebody shut me up!”
She dropped down and sat on the front porch in frustration. I joined her.
“So, is there a lot of whipping going on in your story?”, I asked.
She shrugged. “Ehhh.... There are a couple scenes, but it's not nearly as fun as you would hope.”
“So, it is not a sexy story?”
“Oh, there's sex all right! Don't worry about that. Sex is a big part of this story... Well, it's not as sexy as yours. I mean, good lord, yours started off all wall-to-wall banging and ours is more romance and character stuff. But once Joey and Tricia start dipping into each other...”
“I... Oh, what the hell! Yeah, Joey. He's the kid. You know, this guy likes the young boys and the busty women. Creepy if you ask me. But Joey's the lucky boy. He's our Eddie... Come to think about it, we have your entire cast. Tricia is our Marie. She's the strong sexy one who's our romantic lead, and the one with the biggest rack. Annie's the weird sidekick, like you...”
“I beg your pardon.”
“... and I guess that makes me Karen, the bouncy energetic one. So that just leaves Donna... Yeah, I guess Iowa is our old blond one, if you consider that shade to be blond.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “Don't worry. It's not her real name. Considering how different this new story is going to be, you would think that he would come up with new ideas.”
“So there are a lot of character parallels? Is Tricia a quiet woman hiding away, trapped by her extraordinary beauty?”
Sandy snorted. “Yeah, right!”, she said sarcastically. “Just the opposite. She's on T.V. She flaunts it.”
“Oh... And Annie? A sultry seductive vixen making amends for a dark past?”
Her face grimaced in the strain of holding back laughter. Instead she let out a long strange nasally snicker. “Not... even remotely close!”
“What about you? Obviously you are too old to be in high school. Are you the one with relationship problems or sexual hangups?”
“Oh good lord NO!”
“Any mother and daughter relationships established?”
“Would you believe none? Come to think about it, I don't think there are any two characters who are blood-related to each other. Oh! Also, no fake boobs! All a hundred percent real, no silicone. We're all very proud of that.”
“It sounds like a very different story to me.”
Sandy then looked around conspiratorially and leaned in close to me. She whispered. “But just between you and me, Iowa stuffs her bra.”
“I am afraid to ask with what.”
“Good. Because I'd be afraid to tell you. So! You said he's late? Does he have some schedule or something?”
“Well, he has said he tried to get new chapters out in the beginning of every month. But he is very late with this one. It is most unforgiving.”
“How far has he gotten?”
“I don't know. He is locked up in the house.”
“I don't think so. His car isn't here.”
I looked about. “Really? Oh dear, this is embarrassing. I thought he was home.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “Pshaw! Don't worry about it. At least you gave his neighbors something to talk about today.”
I sighed. “Well, I do not know what to do now.”
Sandy looked as innocent as possible. “We could always break in.”, she mumbled.
I stared at her.
“I beg your pardon?”
She shrugged. “We could break in. See where he's at. Let the readers know that he's still working on it, and how far he has to go.”
I looked at her incredulously. “Can you get us inside?”
She waved at me dismissively. “Please! No problem at all.” She jumped up and started walking around the house. “Just stay there, and keep an eye out!”
“Just... just keep an eye out, okay?” And she disappeared around the side of the house.
I stood up to follow her around the side of the house. “Sandy! Perhaps this is not the best of ideas.” But she had apparently already gotten to the back of the house, because I did not see her in the side yard. “Sandy?”
I head a noise from the front. I returned to the front door, and found Sandy had opened it from the inside.
“How?... How did you do that so quickly?”
“Come on!”, she waved at me.
“Sandy!”, I said as I entered the house. “How did you do that? I checked the doors and windows already. They were locked.”
Sandy smiled at me and clapped her hands. “Hey I got a great idea, Sybil! Why don't you NOT ask me these questions? That would really make my day, okay? Let's find his computer!”
I followed her, still trying to catch her attention. “Sandy! How did you... Oh dear goodness this place is untidy.”
“I love it! Everything out in the open where you can find it. Ah! Found his computer!” And she turned it on.
It booted quickly, and desktop filled with many icons. “Whoa, messy house, messy desktop.”, said Sandy.
“How are you going to find his story?”
“A little thing called Recent Documents... Here it is!” She had found the chapter almost immediately. “Okaaayyy... Let's see... Almost twenty three thousand words so far. Looks like he's making progress. Wanna read it?”
“I do not think we should. It is still a work in progress.”
She looked at me strangely. “Don't lie to me, girl! You want to read it!”
“Well... perhaps. I would not mind learning if he gave me my solo scene.”
“Well, let me check.” She scrolled through the chapter, searching for my name, and it appeared many times. She quickly scanned the instances. “Guess what, girlfriend? You got a solo scene!”
“I do?!”, I exclaimed.
“Yep! Right here! A rare glimpse of inside the mind of Sybil!... Whoah. Does all this weird shit really go on in your head?”
“Many things go on in my head.”
“Uh-oh. Now we have a new problem.”, she said suddenly.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN HERE?”, called out an angry voice.
Sandy and I turned from the computer to meet our chronicler. He was not pleased to see us.
“Hiya Boss!”, Sandy called out very affectionately.
“What is going on here?”
“Oh, we were just kind of curious to see how things are going. Why is there a Lamborghini at the beginning of the chapter?”
“A Lamborghini?”, I asked.
“SANDY! All I asked you to do was keep Sybil occupied or get her back home or something. You weren't supposed to bring her in here... Have you been talking to her about the next story?”
“Oh, just bits... pieces... Nothing important really! Nothing about the You-Know-What!”
“Well, enough spoilers. This woman has like a photographic memory, and she writes the blog.”
“A photographic memory?”, she asked me. “Like Amanda?”, she asked him.
“Oops! Sorry!” And she did a complicated series of gestures, including buttoning her lip, zipping it shut, locking it with an imaginary key, and then stuffing the imaginary key into her bra.
“Out!”, he gestured to us.
“Well, it is nice to know that you are still working on the chapter.”
“Good! Now get out!”
“And that you're not wasting your time writing humorous blog pieces to bribe the fans for more time.”
And so we left the house.
Standing outside, Sandy commented “You know, he sure was grouchy.”
“Yes, well I assume writers are temperamental.”
“Nah. He's just cranky. So now what? You heading home?”
I nodded. “I suppose is should. This is not one of the more comfortable outfits I have worn, and I would like to get out of it.”
Sandy eyed me with a devilish look, and nodded her head. “Yeah, I'd like that too.”
I studied her face for a moment, and immediately realized what she was after. I decided to tease her.
“Sandy, what exactly are you proposing?”
She smiled and swung her shoulders as she stepped towards me. “Well, I AM a big fan of yours, and I would LOVE to see where all the action takes place. And besides...”, she said as she traced her finger across the top hem of my dominatrix outfit which stretched across my breasts, “...this looks VERY tight. I think you may need some help with this.”
Gentle readers, I shall not bore you with the details of the rest of the day. Suffice to say that Sandy and I had a most pleasant evening together, and in the following morning she disappeared before I could offer her a ride anywhere. But she was a most confident and experienced woman, as well as energetic, enthusiastic, talented, and dare I say amazingly flexible. I do not know what her role is in the next story, but I look forward to finding out.
The anonymous comment was short, simple, and to the point.
need an update =/
I can only assume that the final two characters are what my daughter refers to as an "emoticon", but I am not certain that I am familiar with that particular facial expression. I shall take a guess that it is an expression of frustration.
I am happy to report that our chronicler is very busy at this moment writing the next and final chapter of our story, and he reports that although his progress is steady, events in this month including both a major holiday and family travel have severely cut into his writing time, and he believes he is behind schedule. He is begging for an extension, which I am steadfastly refusing to give him.
I would also like to point out that he did notice a sudden drop in the number of comments following the last chapter. He is not surprised by this. He fully expected some readers to be angry with him over Marie's shocking behavior. This he was fully prepared to take as a compliment.
So, to our anonymous commenter, yes we agree. An update is required, and one is in the works. But with only two days left until his self-imposed deadline of the first of the month, and with a reported only 30 to 40 percent completed, it is appearing very unlikely that he will make the deadline.
Do not worry though. I am fully prepared to deal swift and severe physical punishment to our chronicler if he misses the deadline. And I am highly skilled in various forms of physical torture. I have however little experience in using these techniques without reaching the normal desired results of a exquisite orgasm, so if it turns out that he enjoys the experience, I humbly apologize.