The Real Big Vampire Story - My best and perhaps only opportunity to mock God before He mocks me. The story is basically about a vampire nun who is trying to kill Lazarus and bring about the Christian version of the Apocalypse. Lazarus is Jewish, of course, and her girlfriend is a demon and they want to bring about Armageddon just so they can be together for all eternity. There are runaway vampires and Ninja assassins and, um...Oh! God is there, but He has amnesia. I almost forgot.