Chapter 13: Shorter Days, and a Slow Recovery

I remember putting my hands behind my head on Monday morning, with a bunch of thoughts rolling through my mind. Because of the events of Friday, this had become an extended weekend, but it was certainly no time for enjoyment. I couldn't believe that it was 7:20am, and I had not yet been ordered to GET UP. I put on a robe and walked through the house, discovering that my Mom must still be asleep ... just another sign that it was a strange and uneasy time. So I eased back to my bedroom, shut the door lightly, and figured I'd use that private time to think. A look out the front window revealed little ... Barb was sitting against their car, with arms folded – and was apparently getting a tongue lashing from her Dad, who was shaking his finger at her to make his point ... that SOB's car was still in the driveway at Glenna's ... the rest of my scan revealed absolutely nothing going on in the neighborhood. We were simply very, very miserable on this day, when our President was to be laid to rest.

I focused up the other side of the street, and felt good that Vi's car was still there. I think it would have been great, if I could have been at her side all night, holding her and telling her that everything would be alright. Then I realized that during my visit yesterday with her, neither of us had said one word about her late husband. That amazed me, but the more I kicked it around, I felt that a lot had been shared between us, without words. At any rate, I knew I was looking forward to being with her again today.

It was a day to reflect on many things. The schedule I had bust my butt to maintain for over a month was now about to change quickly. There were only a few random yards on the next 2-3 streets that I could mow, with the fall & winter coming. I could still promote car washes, and that might be the only crutch I could use, if I desired to try and visit Glenna & Joann in the middle-afternoons. The days were getting cooler, making me think that it might soon get so chilly in the basement, that getting naked and being comfortable in the "secret room" could become a real challenge. A shut door and footsteps down the hall made me snap to, in anticipation of the day. I waited until I was sure that my Mom was in the kitchen; with 9am approaching, it was time for me to get in the shower, and then "primp" for my Lunch appointment.

By the time I got in & out and dressed, the TV was on with the same programming as the past three days ... and still the comforting voice of Walter Cronkite was there. My mom put cereal & toast on the table for me, then asked me to get some chores out of the way this morning, so we could watch the funeral in a couple of hours. Thinking on my feet, I asked her to tell me what she needed, because I had planned to be up the street to help the lady move some things. She stared at me, then said... "Oh ... that". Her comment carried an edge that bothered me, so I recoiled... "Look, I cut their lawn, and ... she's going through a lot right now, so I offered to help her". She stayed on a roll, with "I heard he was crazy" then "she's moving, right?" To which I said, "I don't have any details, I'm just helping her for a few hours". At that moment I felt myself coming to a boil. I thought ahead and figured it best that I get out of that damn house before I said something I would regret – and furthermore, it would be worth digging in my pocket for $10, just to show her I was working, and shut her up ... So I did the simple little things she asked, in silence, and then turned my thoughts toward the house up the hill.

I got to Vi's door about 10 minutes early, but she still greeted me with a smile. When I got inside, she had straightened her house a little, and that made me think that her mood might have lightened. She was talking to me from across the room, when she just stopped in mid-sentence, and walked up to me... "I need to get something over with, I hope you don't mind" ... and I was in an immediate embrace with her, having to free my arms to hug her back. It was an understandable moment, considering the time we had spent together on Sunday. She let go a little, with a slight smile, and asked me to sit with her. We sat on the couch, this time like two normal people. But she put her knees up in front of her and faced me, making me feel very comfortable. "Thank you for yesterday". I can't tell you exactly why, but hearing her say that just made things flow easier the rest of the day. Looking into her eyes, I felt very giving and tender towards Vi, and what she was going through. So I asked her to stretch out, and lie back toward the arm of the couch. I put her legs in my lap, and just started rubbing. It may sound like a bold move, but to me it was just a continuation of things from the day before. I got an "OHHH" from her, and then she eased into relaxation. "I can turn the TV on, or we can talk about ... what ... happened a few days ago" ... I just nodded "yes", not wanting her to move. So she slowly, very calmly told me about Rey. Vi had grown up on her parents' farm in southern Virginia. There were many chores to do during her teenage years, and since she was the third set of hands, she was treated like a "boy" and a "worker".

School for her was a way to escape from that grind, and she liked meeting people and playing in Gym ... I chimed in with "Hoops!", so she nodded yes, and said that she could also outrun all the kids, even the boys. I tried to participate here and there, so I said "so, what about boys, in high school". She said that nobody looked at her as a girl, just as one of "the guys", so there was no dating at all ... She lifted a leg, and gave no reaction at all when I massaged her calf, even when I reached under her slacks to do it. Then she gave me the other leg, without hesitation. She said that the time came that she just needed to get away ... there was no money for college, so she admitted that she started looking for an "out".

Rey came into her life, and basically took her off the farm. Then without any hesitation, she offered that she wasn't sure she ever really Loved him, but that she was thankful that he came along, and changed her life. After a period of quiet, I said, "Damn ... and so, how was your marriage, was it okay?" She answered that having Rhonda was so great, but that she wanted her to act "ladylike" and not become the tomboy that her Mom was. I asked about Rhonda, and Vi said that she was in Virginia, visiting his parents ... and that services were up there, so he could be buried alongside other family members in a special place on their property. I offered that maybe, maybe because the services were there instead of here, that it was better for Vi...

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, maybe enjoying the massage, but then opened them with a smile, saying... "how is it that you know how to hold a girl, massage a girl, understand a girl, have fun with a girl ... you must have lots of girlfriends at school... " Now Vi had a curious, but joyous smile on her face, and sat up immediately, getting on her knees and now towering over me ... I collected my thoughts and simply said... "whoa, maybe you're on the right track, but that's a lonnnng story, and has nothing to do with why I'm here today". She had a little snicker, then glanced at the TV ... and said, "I feel really relaxed right now, and I want to enjoy today. If we turn the TV on, I think we'll get in a different mood ... is it okay to just talk and eat lunch?" ... Nodding, I said... "You read my mind, let's eat, and just enjoy the day!" So we both jumped to our feet, Vi turned toward the kitchen, but then stopped, looking gently over her shoulder. I did all I could think of doing in that split second ... I stepped up and put my arms around her waist from behind, leaning my chin on her left shoulder, and just holding on. She put her cheek on mine, saying "I'm so glad I have my special friend today".

When we went into the kitchen, she said "Okay, what do you want?" I was taken back when I found that she did not prepare at all, and my laugh showed it ... she laughed too, and said, "well, I decided to wait 'til you got here, so I wouldn't make the wrong thing..." She got a "rightttttt" from me for that little tale. With us both laughing, she all but jumped in my arms, and I caught her, turning her round-and-round. "You are CRAZY" I told her, with her response, "NO, YOU are CRAZY" ... so we commenced at putting together some ham, bread, mayo (a must!), tomato and lettuce, in a creation that would rival "Subway", if that little company had been around in those days. Two great things? She had PEPSI, and not coke ... AND she pulled out REAL glasses with ice, and not that DAMNED TUPPERWARE ... Yo! We sat at the table, playing with thoughts, words, and one-liners, and letting our legs and feet touch underneath, without any hesitation. There were no dishes, so we walked back toward the living room, with me feeling happy to be there.

I sat down (normally) and she stood above me. Vi looked around for an idea, then said, I just don't want to turn on the TV, I'm afraid we will both be sad. Let me try the radio ... and of course, the proceedings in Washington were on every station. So she pulled out a couple of albums, put them on the record player, and turned, saying "OK?". I favorably nodded, and then she surprised me by getting to the edge of the couch, too close to get her balance and sit beside me, and ending up climbing into my lap, straddling me, and facing me. I must have looked shocked, for after she put her arms lightly around my neck ... she caught herself, and paused, then saying, "do you think it's okay if we just touch some, just as friends?" I put my arms around her, and said nothing. We settled into a tight embrace, and I took more notice of this woman, to myself. She was more attractive than I first thought, and certainly more appealing – due to her positive personality (though having to fight thru her emotions, to show it) – her legs were so damn long, and she held as warmly as I could ever want. When she pulled her head up to look in my eyes, she stared for a second, then said very calmly... "It would be disrespectful to someone, if I told you what's running through my mind" ... seeing her struggling over those words, I said, "Wait, you blurted out something on the basketball court the other day about your relationship, why don't you tell me about that... ?" She nodded, but then asked me if I wanted her to move. Again I gave her a non-verbal answer, arranging my legs and mid-section so we could both be more comfortable. "Take your time", was all I said. "Rey and I were never great lovers, but our relationship was held together by the respect we had for each other, and we were great friends, though completely different". Then I gracefully asked her to explain what she meant that afternoon of Hoops. She continued, "We still had a good life in many ways, but when he had the accident at work, that changed a lot ... one of the changes was that he could no longer... (looking at me to see if I understood) ... without a lot of pain. So our being together dropped down to 1-2 times a month... " She started to really struggle, but I used my eyes to urge her on... "We tried to do it with me on top, so he wouldn't have to move at all ... but, finally the only way I could -- make it work, so I could get off – was for me to just hold him, and sit on his leg and grind..." Then Vi got very glassy-eyed, and eased herself down into my arms. I just held her, saying "I'm sorry", meaning both that I was regretful that I asked for such a detailed explanation, but also feeling her hurt for their relationship in the last three years.

I held her for the longest time, long enough that the albums played out on the stereo. She got up, went over to the record player, and turned around saying... "More?" I shook my head "No", then she slowly put the records away, and walked just as slowly back toward the couch. "Come back" I asked her, and she lowered herself back into the same position as before, but this time, put a hand on my check and explored all around my face and neck. I looked up at her, and said... "IF there comes a time, I want to be a really good and special friend to you ... there's no hurry, just let me help you in the little things that need to be done around here" ... She smiled, and gave me a slow, soft kiss on the cheek, then put both arms around my neck. After a few minutes of angling our bodies in an effort to get more comfort – yet not, to be sexual ( now THAT wasn't easy ), she said, "Do you want to try TV now?" I nodded "that's a good idea" ... but in the next few minutes, we discovered all the craziness of that afternoon, with the solemn services and the funeral march (and ... those unforgettable Drums), but also the unbelievable shooting in Dallas. It gave me a sense of urgency, and I asked Vi if she would be okay if I left. She nodded, with understanding, then as we walked to the door, she said "I'll be in Virginia for a couple of days, I need to decide whether I'm staying here, or finding a new place for the two of us". I said, "I vote you stay..." ... giving us a last little snicker. There was no way I could leave without Kissing her, and I think she knew that, especially when I opened the door, and just as quickly shut it. I turned around to her one last time, put my arms around her waist, and first said, 'You know, I'm not used to going eye to eye with a Girl" (Damn she was tall!). As I kept making little small talk, I got kisses on both cheeks, on my forehead and nose, and finally said, "I give UP." I gave her the softest kiss I could, but it built increasingly as our embrace tightened. Then we put our foreheads together, and I said "I'm not forgetting this", then I turned away, got thru the door, and reached the fresh air of the outside.

Walking home, I thought of what a relaxing time I had just spent with her, about the surprises she gave me with her words & gestures, and how damn attracted to her I was at the moment I got out of there, and into the safety of open space. I was relieved that I hadn't – as far as I could tell – said or done anything wrong.

School was back in session on Tuesday, but I can't remember anything significant happening. There was just a dark cloud over our campus, and worse yet – over our country. I ditched any thought of looking forward to Thanksgiving. It just wasn't important. On Wednesday I got to see Bev & Carly at a distance, and both were laughing like fools. Hell, for all I knew, they had spent more time with each other, and just moved on. I remembered watching them get more and more comfortable on that Monday in the basement, being shocked how quickly they came together ... It had been a beautiful sight to see. Then of course, I HAD to walk by them, and at least say "Hello". They saw me coming, then managed to pull away from their cronies, and get in position to block my path. I looked at both of them and said, "well, you guys are in a good mood, I could hear you from way over there..." Bev said "we've been talking, and – Carly has something she wants to tell you"