Chapter 12

Kyle went into town later having decided that it would be best if he was not around when Jill made her confession to Emma. He could eat dinner in town at one of the hangout places and maybe meet up with some of his teammates for the evening. Jill went in to town to retrieve Emma and she listened to her tell all about the new things that they had developed at practice that day. Jill was very proud of Emma. She was smart, she was cute and she was popular, everything that a young girl could want to be. And now, they shared a lover. After dinner, she suggested that they go outside and watch the sunset by the pool.

"Yesterday morning, when we were all together, you said something to me that felt like a knife had been shot through my heart. I know that you were just asking the question, but the meaning of it was so powerful that it tore me up. You asked if I had enjoyed sex with your father. When I discovered you in bed with Kyle, it brought back memories of when I was young. I was envious of you, and angry, too. Not at you, but kind of angry at your father for leaving me alone in life. I know that seems strange, but sometimes I miss him so much that I hurt all over. Last night I couldn't get to sleep. All I could think about was missing your father. Finally I got out of bed and went to my bathroom and splashed cold water all over myself, just trying to get out of my sad mood. There wasn't a hand towel in my bathroom for some reason so I walked down the hall to get one from yours and I heard you and Kyle in his bed. That was all that it took to set my emotions into a tizzy. I cried myself to sleep eventually, but before that happened, I spent most of the night remembering making love with your father."

"To answer your question, yes Emma, I loved having sex with your dad. We made love nearly every night, sometimes all night. It was exciting, it was fulfilling, it was wonderful, and I have not enjoyed that since the day he died. Hearing your voice through that door was more than I could handle. I did finally get to sleep last night, but it was not until very late, and I was just getting up when Kyle returned from taking you to town. I was in the middle of the hall holding a towel from your bathroom as he came up the stairs. I heard him climb the stairs and it sounded like your dad did when he would come upstairs. I so wanted it to be your father; I was in no hurry to get back into my room, even though I only had a light robe on. I wanted it to be him. I wanted to make love in the worst way. I needed to make love; it has been years. But it wasn't your father, it was Kyle. I started to cry and he took me in his arms to comfort me, and when he did that, I surrendered to him."

Emma sat quietly for a long time. Finally she asked, "What do you mean you surrendered to him? What does that mean?"

"It means that in spirit, he became your father, and even though I knew that it was Kyle really, I wanted your father so badly that when he put his arms around me, I knew that I wanted sex."

"So, you are telling me that you had sex with Kyle this afternoon?"

"Yes, honey, I am. I don't want to hide it from you, or keep it secret. You need to know, because it will probably happen again."

Emma did not say anything else. She sat there, never moving a muscle, not turning her head, absolutely motionless, looking at her mother. The silence was almost eerie, and it began to have an effect on Jill. A single tear appeared on Emma's cheek, running down unhindered until it disappeared from view. In silence, Emma stood up and walked inside leaving her mother alone by the pool.

A million thoughts began to race through Jill's mind. "What had she done to her family? Why did she do this? Why was she so foolish? If I wanted sex that badly, there a dozen men who have called asking to go out. I could have had any of them. Now what do I do?"

An hour passed and Emma did not return. With some hesitation, Jill decided that she must go to her daughter and come up with some resolution for this. She knocked softly on the bedroom door and Emma allowed her to come in.

"Honey, we need to talk about this. I don't know what to do."