Chapter 18

Not just fear and hatred then, she thought as she went back over the discussion in her mind. Fear, hatred and ignorance. And I suppose the greatest of these, and the most dangerous, is the ignorance. The most difficult to overcome, too, I expect. Because so dreadfully many people simply don't want to know, they resist knowing, they cling as tightly to their ignorance as they would to a rock at the edge of a cliff, a liferaft in the ocean.

Was it so for the ones who visited Angus? she wondered. Did they, too, fight off new knowledge because it invaded the precious stability of their mindset? Or did they merely act out of malice, knowing they were telling lies but simply not caring, for some other reason? I suppose I'll never know the answer to that. There's never an easy answer to anything about people, is there?

Well, at least Angus himself kept an open enough mind to doubt himself. At root I think he's a good man, and an honest one so far as he's able. I wish I'd met him in other circumstances.

She found herself drawn back to visit the erstwhile captain repeatedly, visits the man obviously welcomed. As the Ark emerged from worm space and began its deceleration to make rendezvous with Eden her excursions to his cabin became a daily occurrence, and she found herself staying with him for increasing amounts of time.

Gradually his taciturn nature melted away, and he became almost voluble in her presence. He was an excellent and interesting conversationalist with a wide range of interests and an avid curiosity about everything. Since she shared the same characteristics they were seldom without something to talk about.

"You know," she told him one day, "in a lot of ways you're very similar to my late husband, Angus. His mind was like yours, always wandering afield to this area or that one or the other and always questioning, challenging. I think he would have liked you. I'm very sorry the two of you never met."

Only rarely did their talks return to the reason for his disgrace and present incarceration. As she'd said at the close of her second visit, they'd covered that and there was little else to say about it. She wasn't even sure whether he'd changed his view of the Edenites or simply put the whole question to one side. Nor, in the circumstances, did it seem to matter a great deal; he seemed resigned to his present status, and for her part she was unable to conceive of circumstances that might in any way alter it.

At one point he mildly told her she need not continue her practice of leaving the key in the corridor when she entered. "I'll no' trry t'escape, Missus," he said. "Ye ha'e me worrd on't. 'Tis nae need t'keep botherrin' yer grran'sin."

"Thank you, Angus," she replied. "I think I've known that for a while. But Carlie wants it this way, I expect you understand why."

"Aye," he said. The subject was dropped, and she continued to lock herself in with him until Igwanda retrieved her.

One day, at her request, he related the story of his extraordinary exploits on Lucifer, in considerably greater detail than Cromartie had been able to offer. When he'd ordered the damaged lander to continue its ascent it had been, he said, mostly simple bravado and a lack of any alternative.

"If they se' back doon they werre dead," he told her. "E'en if they coul' fin' a safe place, an' wi' yon volcano ge'in' widerr an' widerr tha' was nae surre thing, th' lan'err wouldna ta'e off again wi' th' ven's frried, an' i' was thirr'y weeks t' Earrt' an' back an' they couldna las' thirr'y hours on th' surrface. So all I coul' say was keep comin', we'll ge' ye, t'gi'e 'em hope still. An' I took th' ship doon t'th' verra edge o' what was safe t'gi'e both them an' mesel' wha'­ivverr hope was lef'."