Chapter 4

I went out and drove to my new second home, 'The Timberwolf' sports bar, and took a seat at the fairly empty bar. I had my head in my hands when I heard the glass hit the bar, I looked, and there was a tall glass with three ice cubes and about three fingers of amber liquid. My eyes moved higher and saw a smiling face, Brenda. "I figured the battle was over for now, so you needed a little more medicine. Things go as planned?"

"Pretty much; there were a couple of small glitches that were handled by outside sources."

"That means the cops came, right?"

"More or less," I said, and I explained everything to my new confessor. The tale took the better part of forty-five minutes as she started to get busy.

This sports bar was set up with a long bar, probably fifty feet, but the best part was in front of the bar. To one side were about six tables that could seat four to five people. About six feet in front of the bar started the luxury stadium seating. These were like nice fabric covered and padded seats that the seat and the back moved so that you could get comfortable. There was a drink holder built into the seat and a small table that could be brought up from the side of the chair and locked in place for each seat. This allowed for snacks to sit right there with you and hold your beer mug as well. It kind of looked like a school desk, but much more comfortable. There were six tiers of these seats with six seats in a group with a four-foot separation for an aisle; there were four groups of six seats at each tier. Each tier was two steps down from the tier above so it was like a movie theater. The place could seat 186 people with 18 at the bar and 24 at the tables. Along the front wall were seven giant, probably 80" flat-screen TVs showing up to seven different channels depending on what was available on satellite.

Because there were so many sports venues available from all over the world, the place did a fair business Tuesday through Thursday, but Friday to Sunday the place was usually packed.

The bar was an 'L' shaped affair, and I could sit at the second to last stool on the short side of the 'L'. That side only had stools for three people because of the waitress station at the end. Brenda and a man named Sean were behind the bar tonight, and four waitresses in skimpy uniforms were waiting on the tables and the tiers. There were probably four and a half feet between tiers so that the waitresses could maneuver around to place drinks and snacks.

By the time I had explained my tale to Brenda, I had finished taking my medicine and as Brenda came up then, I asked if there were any vacancies in her apartment complex.

"Rob, I think there are a couple vacant; do you want me to check it out? Ii can be really easy. My landlord is here tonight, and I'll get Lindsey to let him know a potential renter is here; I know he would love to talk to you."

As I sat there I wondered if this was a good idea, but by then it was too late. A short swarthy man came up to me and said, "I'm Steve Harvard; I hear you might be interested in an apartment. I have two studios, three one bedroom and a two-bedroom unit available right now. Are you interested?"

"I might be interested in a one bedroom. Can I stop over tomorrow and take a look at it?"

"Sure, it's the Edgewood Townhomes on Baron Lane at Lone Stare Drive. You know where that is?"

"Yes, my house is on Royal Lane near Wooten, but I'm thinking of selling it. It will be too big for me very soon."

"Ah divorce, huh. Too bad, that's a nice neighborhood."

"Yeah, but I won't need a four-bedroom house any more. Maybe I should look at the two-bedroom unit, so I can have an office at home like I do now. Yeah, I'll look at that one tomorrow, is ten okay with you?"

"Sure, I can hold it until noon for you, what's the name?"

"Rob Sterling, I'll be there before noon. Here's my card."

"Thanks Mr. Sterling. I got to get back to the game, see ya tomorrow."

Well it looked like I would have a place to live after I sold my house. I certainly didn't need that huge house now. No children and no wife, I wouldn't need all that room. I think I have given Janice enough time to get settled in so I can go home now. Home, home is where the heart is, right, home is where love is, right? Well, I guess my home has become a house, a place where I exist outside of work. My new home is probably the Timberwolf. I feel more relaxed and more loved in that sterile place than I do in what used to be my home until two weeks ago.

Just think two weeks ago I had a home, where I could relax after a hard day's work, a place of solace and peace. A place I could weather out any storm. This was a place I thought was full of love and comfort with someone who loved me and I loved in return. Then two weeks ago, it all came crashing down around me. I found out I wasn't loved in return the way in which I loved. It was not a haven from all my troubles; it became a place where trouble resided along side of betrayal, deceit, and lies. Man I am getting way too maudlin; I need something to blast me out of this funk I am sinking into. Where can I find solace now? Where is my haven? Where is my comfortable spot that I can feel safe and loved? Where can I relax and shut out the world and all the problems that bombard me every single day? I used to think it was at my home in the arms of my wife, but I find that the arms have grown cold and clammy; my home is no longer a place of safety or love. It is only a building, like a million others we pass through in this life. There is no safety, no love, and no comfort there; it is just a building now.

I arrived home and there is a car in the drive I do not recognize. I enter through the garage to see three people in the dining room sitting around the table; it is a man and two women.

One is my wife; one is Paul, and one is Paul's wife, Cheryl. I close the door fairly loudly and walk in the dining room.

"Oh, excuse me, I thought this was my house; I must be mistaken," I said angrily.

"No Rob, we actually came over and wanted to speak to you. I wanted to say how sorry I am that this even happened, and if I could take back that night in Atlanta, I would. Cheryl has forgiven me enough that we will try to work things out, but I guess that is not an option for you two, is it?" said Paul.

During this conversation, my wife was sitting with her head in her hands. I think she was cried out, as her shoulders shook with sobs, but no sound was heard.

"Paul, in a way I think that you are a low life bastard of the first order, but when someone like this woman here throws herself at you, I can understand your reaction. I can't say I would have done the same. In fact, I have had women similar to that woman," pointing to my wife, "Throw themselves at me when I have been away from home, but I invariably compared them to what I had at home, and they always came up short. I don't mean to demean you Cheryl, but that was my take on it. Paul, you and I will never be friends, but I appreciate the way you have treated me and reacted in this matter. I suppose that you would like for me to dismiss the suit against you and the company for your affair?"

"Rob, I'm not asking that you do that. If you did I would be grateful, but I would not expect you to do that. You are very right; I should have known better; I should have let it go as a plea of a very lonely woman for some company. I didn't and I am deeply ashamed that I did not take the high road. That night that you came home early and caught us, was my last night with Janice. I didn't even participate in Atlanta. I walked into your home, and I could feel your presence; I felt like an outsider, an interloper in your home; I knew I was a thief, and I was stealing something that wasn't mine, and I should have never entered your sanctuary. For that I'm very profoundly sorry. That night I told Cheryl that I had done something horrific, and that I just hoped she would forgive me. It took those three days in Atlanta to prove to her that I was telling the truth. Cheryl surprised me by being in Atlanta on Wednesday. She had her own room and called me that evening inviting me to her room only if I had not been with anyone else since my arrival on Tuesday. I promised her that was so and I spent the next two nights in her room and not my own. I think we rekindled our love for each other those two nights, for that I thank you Rob."

"Thank you Paul, for taking responsibility for your actions, and for being so nice about this whole thing. I'm sure that you are aware of what transpired here today after your call. I didn't think they would be that aggressive; I thought that they would have acted more like you, but then you had already come to terms with the affair and ended it before this last trip. I may withdraw the suit against you and the company, but the other five are history. I plan on ruining their lives just like mine was destroyed. If there is nothing further Paul, I would ask that you and your lovely wife please leave, I think there is some talking Janice, and I have to do. I had to take some time to calm down after the fiasco of this afternoon. I'm sure that you can show yourself out; and Paul, we may see each other around, but I will be cordial."

Paul and Cheryl left, and I sat where Cheryl had been next to Janice and waited. After about fifteen minutes, I asked, "Would you like something to drink, water, or a soda, or how about some of that nice Cabernet you like?"

"A glass of the wine would be nice thank you."

I went into the kitchen and removed a bottle of Cabernet Franc from our wine refrigerator. This bottle was from a local Texas winery in Dripping Springs called Bell Springs Winery. I removed the cork and poured her a glass, and I got a glass of ice water from the fridge. I brought the glasses in the dining room and sat again. I was waiting for her to have her say.

After a few sips of her wine, Janice decided it was time. "Rob you have no idea how sad I am right now. I finally realized what I did to you and to our marriage. It started out as curiosity. I had always heard that black men were bigger, but from personal experience, they are not that much bigger than you. Charlie is maybe a little bigger around, but Mac is smaller than you. Charlie was my first and should have been my only, but there was an excitement, a high I never got with you. Now please what I have ... ah had with you was fantastic, you were the best lover I have ever had, but the first time was something else. It was like my very first time with Brad Storey back in high school and my first time with you, but all rolled into one. It was pure animal sex; there was no love involved, just sex, great sex, but still just sex. It was wonderful at first and then when I came home to you, I was ashamed; I felt guilty that I had strayed, and I was no longer yours alone. I let someone else into my life that should have never been there, at least not with the intimacy that they were. I swore to myself, it would not happen again. I went on another trip with Charlie, but we did nothing, he asked and I said no. I said I was through with that type of thing. He said he was saddened, but he understood. The next trip was with Tom to Tampa again and somehow I slipped again and invited Tom to my room. After that time I was never alone when I traveled, if I traveled with one of them. I became a travel slut, when I traveled, I was bad. Subsequently two years ago I started inviting someone home when you traveled and then later when I thought you would be very late. We met either here or at some motel in Austin or Round Rock; never around work or home. I certainly never expected to become so callous about my cheating. However, the one thing I was always sure of was my love for you and your love for me. I know now that my love for you wasn't enough to stop me from what I was doing.

"You always came first though, if you wanted sex, I was available, and I only had a lover before you one time. That was the night you caught us. I'm not sure why I wanted you to eat me and get Paul's sperm, but I thought that if you would and not say anything, I could continue, and you would be none the wiser. I know that is not a loving wife thing to do, but by then I was no longer your loving wife, was I Rob?"