Chapter 3

Kim's life changed too, and not for the better. Old man Calder, who owned the store where she worked as manager, had a stroke and his oldest daughter came to take care of him. Two months later he passed away. The daughter, who had come to care for her father, was in town long enough to learn the gossip about his store manager before he passed, and decided to discharge Kim. The thought was that she could sell the store quicker if the present manager wasn't there. The store languished on the market, basically rudderless and finally closed. Sad to say, neither the store nor Kim won.

Kim was still living her hedonistic lifestyle. She went to work as manager for a 7/11 convenience store, but the hours were terrible and Kim started taking hours off when she was needed in the store. She abruptly lost that position. She convinced Etta and Henry to let her move home. We didn't see her often, but I made sure that the kids would visit. I always informed her when there was a school function, but she seldom attended. Etta was the one who benefited the most when Sammy and Randy came to visit Kim. They were often disappointed because sometimes Kim wasn't home and would hang around with Etta and Henry.

I wasn't receiving any monetary support per court agreement for the kids from Kim, but that didn't bother me. Arlene and I were now making good money. I was managing one and sometimes two books a year at the publishers. Randy had continued to help Arlene with her sales, and was making money on his own. Sammy finished near the top of her class, the year she graduated high school. She was going on to study journalism at the state university. Arlene and I continued to be damned proud of my two older children.

Jacky was the best child a man could ask for. He was funny and fun, making sure everyone was happy if they were around him. Arlene brought home twin girls from the hospital the same year Sammy left for university. They weren't identical twins, but did resemble each other. We named them Rachael and Ramona and that quickly changed to Rack and Rommy. They could change to different nicknames when they got older. Mine had changed, but then I wouldn't have named anyone Horace, either.

We met Jimmy's girl and we loved her. She was a heavy woman, but full of fun, talked continually, and we figured that was to make up for Jimmy never holding a long conversation. They had a boy child the year after they married. Jimmy had moved out of the loft of the barn at that time and bought a small cottage in the city to be near his employment.

Thanksgiving was at my house the third year of Sammy being at university. Mom made an announcement, "I've had some contact with Fred recently. It has been almost five years since we have seen him. He would like to visit during the Christmas Holidays. Does anyone have any objection to him coming? Actually it doesn't make any difference, because I told him he was welcome."

"Where has he been living?"

"I don't know, but he did say he lived only three hours away from us. He said he would stay in a motel because he didn't want to impose. I told him that was foolish because his old room and yours were still empty. It is strange that he hasn't contacted us before this. I was resigned to the fact he must have died. When I said that to him, he said no, he hadn't died. He had stayed away until he could come home and we could see that we could be proud of him. He said he was going to ask Johnny to forgive him and was sure that you would. What is that all about?"

"Fred came to see me and apologized to me for his actions. That was the same day he left town. I said he had to do something to make up for all the pain he had caused you. Evidently he thinks he has. We'll see if he has."

"Dad, he told Randy and me at the same day that he had a lot to make up for with you, too. I hope he has. I hated it when he and Mom were going out, but I still liked him a lot."

Did I want to see Fred again? Of course I did. This was driven from my mind on Saturday, following Thanksgiving. It was Etta on the phone, "Johnny, would you tell Sammy and Randy that Kim is in the hospital. She will recover from this, but we don't know what caused her problem and made her do what she tried to do."

"You're saying she tried to commit suicide aren't you?"

"Yes, I found her comatose this morning in the bathroom. I called an ambulance and had her taken to the emergency room. She had swallowed most of the pills in the medicine cabinet and some of the medicines weren't to be taken internally. I just don't know what is the matter with my daughter? Anyway, would you break the news to the kids?"

"I will. Is she in a room?"

"In intensive care for now. She will have a regular room this afternoon. She will be on a watch list while she is here."

"I'll bring the kids to the hospital. Find out if she can have visitors, if you would."

"Will you be in to see her?"

"No, Etta, but I will do everything to get the kids in to see her and I'll do anything for you. Sammy will have to go back to school tomorrow night, so I guess the burden will be on Randy. Call me when you can. Arlene and I are both home today and the kids will be here for lunch. I'll drive them up this afternoon." It seems when couples have children, a divorce is never final.

I informed the kids about their mother. They were not too surprised by her actions. I asked, "Have you two been paying attention to her the way you should?"

Sammy said, "Dad, I guess not. It is so depressing to visit with her when I come home. She just moans about how life has treated her. It has been she who has brought it on herself, but I guess she doesn't think that way. When I come home, I haven't wanted to deal with it."

"Well, maybe you should give her a little more consideration. How about you, Randy?"

"It has been the same with me. Now that I'm out of high school, I'll visit her oftener. You know I've been working very hard and just didn't want to take the time away from it."

"This should change and now is a perfect chance for it to happen. I'll say it again, I think you should see her as often as possible. A few hours away from selling stuff on the internet won't kill you and it might save your mother's life.

"I'll plan to, Dad." Randy wanted to take a year from school off concentrating on doing what Arlene was doing by selling over the internet. He had helped her at first, beginning on the day they were first introduced. It continued to interest him and eventually he had gone out on his own. He had a nice little business going for himself using her as a model. I had agreed that he could take a year off before going on to college. I was wondering now if he ever would go. I didn't feel that it was a wise choice to skip higher education, not when I could afford to send him.

Randy and Sammy headed for the hospital. It was almost dark when they returned. Randy was the one who filled me in about Kim's condition. Dad, they have Mom on anti-depressants. She is severely depressed. They are treating the symptoms, but she could become addicted if she takes them for any length of time. She is being discharged from the hospital tomorrow because she doesn't have any health insurance. Gram and I said we would be responsible for the charges."

"That's good of you. What's next for her?"

"As soon as we can find some help for her, she has agreed to be admitted to a mental institution for evaluation. To compound the situation and part of her problem, Mom's broke and her employment benefits have run out.

"Maybe I can help with the search for some help. If I can, we'll take it from there."

Sammy spoke up, "Dad, you aren't responsible."

"I know, but I can not help you. If it helps her at the same time, that's just an added benefit."

"You're the best Dad." Arlene agreed that I should help if possible.

Sammy and Randy went the thirty miles to the hospital again in the morning. My daughter drove her car, planning on leaving directly from the hospital for the university. Randy was transporting his mother home when discharged. Randy would be spending the night with her and Etta. He called me from there. "Dad, I think Mom regrets what she did. She has medicine and the doctor cautioned me that she should take it on a regular basis."

"Watch her closely, son. I'm hoping you are right, but remember she is still unbalanced until she has been evaluated. I'll work on getting her some help tomorrow. I still have some contacts with different agencies."

"Dad, you haven't done any of that type of writing since you began writing fiction."

"Randy, read my stories. Where do you think I get facts for my plots? It takes research and I have to do a lot of it to make sure my story is believable."

I did begin searching for institutions that would give Kim some help in the situation she found herself in. She was basically homeless, living with her parents at age forty-two. She had no income. She did have a six-year-old vehicle, but only used it to search for work. She had exhausted her unemployment benefits, but she had tried diligently to apply for work, not only in her home town, but further afield as well with no success.

I found a state program where she could enter a treatment facility to be evaluated. That would at least tell Randy what his mother's underlying problem could be. It might be found that her problem was something medical and not wholly mental. Randy and Etta transported Kim the hundred miles to the facility the next morning. Kim was lucky that they had a bed for her. At times there were waiting lists, but not at present.

Three weeks later Randy had the report on Kim's evaluation. It was a medical problem and treatable. The doctor said that it was a hormonal condition and might have been something out of whack going back several years. The stress of being unemployed and not having a home of her own had also triggered the early onset of menopause. This had led to the depressed state she found herself in, and caused her to try suicide.

Kim came home just before Christmas. Sammy and Randy were the ones to collect Kim from the institution. She returned to Etta's and Henry where she had been staying to try and put her life back together. I hadn't seen Kim for almost a year and I didn't expect to see her over the holidays. The family always scheduled get-togethers where we would seldom have to see each other. This was the norm ever since I had beaten up Fred at the cabin five years ago.

Arlene and Sammy planned a shopping trip along with Etta and my mother, Delores, in the city. I promised to watch Jacky, Rack, and Rommy while they were gone. Jacky was eight now and the twins were three. I anticipated no visitors and Jacky was always willing to lend a hand with caring for his sisters. I heard a car stop on the street, but thought nothing of it because I heard it soon go on. There was a knock on the door and Jacky ran for it. I came out of the living room to see who it was. Kim was standing there.

"Hello John, may I come in?"

"Of course. Jacky take the lady's coat and watch Rack and Rommy. The little ones are watching television. Kim, come into the kitchen and I'll make us coffee."

I looked Kim over as I busied myself making coffee. Kim was haggard and thinner then when I had seen her last, but when I turned, she looked me in the eye. There was a coffee cake and I put that on the table with a knife. "I promised the kids they could have some so if you would cut this, I'll bring them out. They won't stay long, but I'd like them to know who you are."

"Thank you, John." I introduced Kim as Sammy's and Randy's other mommy. They soon finished eating the cake and drank the glass of juice I had poured and went back to their TV.

"It's been awhile since I have seen you, Kim. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, but terribly stupid. For a while I didn't even want to live, but that's behind me now. Before we go any further, I want to thank you for finding me a place to stay while I was sick. Randy gives you all the credit and I haven't run up a whole lot of bills either."

"Randy would have done it on his own if he could have. I knew you needed help immediately, so I helped him, which in turn helped you."

"John, you should know this, the doctor told me that my body has always been out of balance. I've thought about it a lot. Maybe it was, but I knew most of the time the way I was living my life was wrong. I have no excuse for my actions. I still don't have much of a life, but I think I can handle it going forward. I know I'm going to continue to search for work and someday I'll find a job."

"What type of work are you looking for?"

"Something in a store. I was a good manager for Calder and if I hadn't screwed up managing that convenience store I'd still have a job. The doctor though, told me it might have happened anyway ... my screwing up, I mean." Kim paused and then went on speaking, "And that brings me to the way I treated you, my Mom, and Dad, with my continuing lifestyle. I've alienated everyone who loved me."

"You don't have to go there, Kim. It is all behind you. We have all moved on."

"That may be, but up until a month ago, I hadn't moved on."

"You will now know what was sending you off track."

"That's what I am hoping. That is why I came to see you today. I want to apologize for the way I treated you for so many years."

"Apology accepted. I don't have time to dwell on the past and you shouldn't either. Follow your doctor's orders and move on. You are still relatively young and you can still find happiness."

"John who said that first? Randy said the same thing to me when he picked me up from the institution."

"Maybe I did, but I'm glad you heard the words first from him. From me it sounds like preaching. From him, you know it is love of a son for his mother. Was that Randy who brought you here?"

"Yes. I asked for a few minutes alone with you. He'll pick me up soon. I wanted also to tell you what a wonderful job you have done in seeing to it that Sammy and Randy become kids to be proud off. They are just wonderful."

"Half of their genes are yours, don't forget."

"You just won't let me get down on myself, will you?"

"No, it costs too much and doesn't pay a thing. Recognize it and make the change. You know I kicked Fred out of town five years ago and told him not to come back until he was something to make his mother proud. He called and said he would be home this Christmas. The whole family is meeting there Christmas Eve. I'm looking forward to seeing him."

"I will make sure I don't meet him. Thanks for warning me."

"That wasn't meant to be a warning. I just didn't want you to be taken unawares. Someday you will meet again. I feel assured you will be two different people with different outlooks on life when you do. Don't obsess on it because it is bound to happen."

"You sound like one of the doctors who evaluated me. Johnny, you should have been a shrink." She stared at me with a grin. "Maybe not, but I'm sure you wrote an article on the subject one time long ago."

I laughed out loud for I had written one and found the facts in that article had come to mind several times when I needed to get something off my mind. Randy opened the door and came in. "No blood on the floor, not that I was worried."

"Nope. We have had a good talk."

"Randy, we can leave anytime. I feel better now then when I arrived. I also think I'm blessed with a son who is very much like his father."

"Coffee and cake first." He looked toward the living room. "Hey, squirts, there's cake out here."

"Now you've done it, the kids have already had their cake."

"I'll give them mine." Kim was watching this byplay and there was mist suddenly in her eyes. Kim and Randy stayed until the coffee cake was all gone.

Jacky said as we waved goodbye, "Randy's Mommy is a nice lady isn't she Daddy?"

"Yes, she is." I added "Now" under my breath.

There were four more days until Christmas and that was all the kids could talk about. Sammy was as bad as the younger ones. Randy, the more serious, never seemed to get excited like his sister and the younger ones. He was the one though whose pleasure came from seeing it in others.

I wondered when Fred would appear. It was the next day an hour before noon when a car pulled into the driveway. Jacky again was the one to open the door after the bell chimed. Arlene and I were in the living room. We heard, "Hi, there. I don't remember your name, but I'm your Uncle Fred. May we come in?"

I stood in the doorway watching Fred usher in a woman holding a baby in her arms and a young girl of eleven or twelve following. Fred looked at me. "Johnny, I have a family now. Am I welcome?"

"Certainly. Mom said you would be here for Christmas. She didn't tell me you had a family."

"She doesn't know. We are on our way there now, but as long as we were driving by, I thought I would stop."

"I'm glad you did."

"Arlene, I think I met you one time. I'd like to have you meet my wife, Betty, and my stepdaughter, Ginger. The little one is named Josh and he is a year and a half old. I'll fill you in on my family some other time. Just as a side note for now, Betty knows everything about my past and still loves me."

Arlene stretched out her arms to hold the baby, who squirmed and didn't want to leave his mother. "Betty, do come into the living room and meet my two little ones. Jacky, you stay with your father."

Fred picked up after the interruption, "Johnny, I want to tell you about what I've been doing in the last five years. I told you the day I left here that I had an interview. I did. It was at a private school for rich kids. The curriculum is loosely patterned after the military with all its trappings. I fit right in with what they were looking for and was immediately hired."

"What are your duties?"

"Before I got off track going after women, I had been taking a few night courses to become a math teacher. I didn't have enough credits to teach, but it didn't take me long to review as far as I had. I finished up getting my certificate within two years while actually teaching ten and eleven year olds. I am a father figure and cadre of the barracks they live in. Betty and I have our own apartment in the same building. These are the youngest students we have. I found I enjoy it. I'm still studying and hope soon to be able to teach the higher grades."

"I see you found time to find a family?"

"I have. Betty was a war widow teaching at the same school. I was pretty down about my life and she was down about losing her husband. She would invite me to her apartment to talk with Ginger and do some chores that needed doing. I swear to God, Johnny, I never hit on her. One night we were both feeling down and I told her all about my life and what an a-hole I had been. She shared her life with me about how difficult it was to be a widow with a child. It was exactly two years after I left here that I married Betty and became father to Ginger. What a gem they both are."

"What made you want to come home?"

"It was what you said about Mom and how she felt about me. I think I can go to her and she can be proud of me now. That's what you wanted isn't it?"

"Exactly, and that makes me proud of you too."

"Johnny, am I going to run into Kim and will she try to make trouble for me? I sure would like to apologize to her, but I don't want to upset Betty."

"Kim was here yesterday talking to me. She's been sick and just got out of a medical facility a couple days ago. I doubt you will run into her, but if you do, be calm around her. It might be a good idea if you do see her, not to bring up the past unless she does."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Some woman thing, I guess. She's on medication. Sammy and Randy are taking care of her. Sammy will be around over the holidays for the next two weeks then she becomes Randy's responsibility."

"Randy grown up enough for that?"

"Oh yeah, you bet. Sammy is in school and only has three more semesters to go. Randy is taking a year away from school and then I hope he'll go on to learn more about marketing which is his main interest. He's pretty intelligent."

We walked into the living room. Arlene was holding Fred's baby and my two little girls were sitting next to Betty one on each side of her. "Betty, I think we should get going. I want to get to Mom's."

"Arlene has invited us for lunch. She was just about to ask your brother to cook hamburgers and French fries."