Chapter 64

I convinced Jerry and Sherrie that they needed to stay in the city one more night, so we could take Jennifer to the Christmas show at Radio City Music Hall. The hotel arranged a limo tour of the city to all the famous Christmas attractions, including the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. Jennifer was beside herself with joy all morning.

After lunch Sherrie put her down for a long nap in preparation for an exciting evening. We dined at another of New York City's restaurant icons, and had a private box for the show. From the second the orchestra began to play, until the curtain came down after several encores, Jennifer glowed with joy.

It was worth the trip just to see the stars in that little girl's eyes. She bounced in her seat, sang along with the chorus, hummed with the orchestra, and pretended to be a Rockette when they danced. Sherrie and I continually exchanged glances as we watched Jennifer's reaction to the show.

After our limo deposited us back at the hotel, Jerry and I visited while Sherrie got Jennifer ready for bed. When she returned, I asked if we could talk about the schedule until Jennifer's appointment in Sweden. "I will have a long distance jet pick you up at Sanford Airport in the morning of January second. That will get you to Sweden in time to put Jennifer down for a long night's sleep and begin getting her comfortable with the time change.

"My travel agency has a four bedroom suite for you at a five start hotel, one long block from Doctor Abrams' clinic. I've hired a car and two drivers so you always have someone to take you anywhere you might need to go. The drivers have their own room in the hotel, so they will be rested and well fed while taking care of you.

Sherrie was giving me a confused look, so I tried to answer her questions before she asked. "I will fly Rebecca to Sanford in time for her to accompany Jennifer as her personal physician. She will be able to care for any need that comes up during the flight and be nearby should Jennifer get sick or have some kind of incident when she is not at the clinic.

"Doctor Abrams hasn't said if Jennifer will be staying in their facility or going back and forth with you each day. When you know, tell me, and I will adjust things to suit your needs.

"Jerry, would you mind if I leave my car on the side of your garage and the boat at your dock until we get back from Sweden? If it's any kind of inconvenience, I'll have it moved to another place."

Jerry gave me a hard look before answering. "If you even think of moving that boat, because it might inconvenience me, I will bat your ears so hard you'll have to unbutton your shirt to sneeze. After what you've done for us, I ache inside to do something for you. Seriously, don't be ridiculous." He was clear if not patient with me, though it never hurts to ask.

"Guys, I am going home for Christmas. I've been away since shortly after my mother died, and I really need to go home. When the time comes, I'll either fly with you to Sweden or be there when you arrive. I honestly don't know yet.

"The only important thing is that Jennifer gets the care she needs, and you two are not stressed while ensuring that she has what she needs. PLEASE, promise me that you will tell me if you think of anything you or she needs? Please? I haven't asked for anything, but I am asking, now. Promise me you will tell me if you think of something I can do to make this easier on you and more successful for Jennifer. Ok?" I'm not used to begging, but that's as close as I can think of ever getting to it.

Sherrie looked at her father. Jerry looked at the floor, and they both busied themselves trying to avoid making eye contact. "Ok," I said. "Out with it. What's the problem?"

Sherrie squirmed a little too much, so I zeroed in on her. "Sherrie, what's going on? Tell me?"

"I know I told you that I wasn't in love with you. You've been so good to us over this, and then I threw your feelings back in your face, without even thinking about how that must have made you feel. Now you're bringing Rebecca over to Sweden, and I've seen you with Colleen. You thrive on physical and emotional love.

"Does it make you mad that I'm not in love with you, Brian? I tried to be. I really, REALLY did. It makes me feel so inadequate to sit here, while you go through your list of how you're helping us, and know that other than a little bit of affection, I'm giving nothing in return.

"Please don't think I'm terrible. Goodness knows I want to be in love. I just can't seem to be in love.

"What I am is sorry. Somehow, someday, I'll make this up to you. I just don't know when or how." Sherrie was completely sincere, feeling like she had cheated me by not falling in love.

"You know, I understand completely and hold nothing against you, Sherrie. We have a wonderful relationship, and if you try to make something more than that out of it, you'll end up resenting me and ruining what we have.

"Please don't give this another thought. We are what we are, and its fine with me.

Jerry gave Sherrie a strong look, and said, "Sherrie, I think Brian is saying that his life is complicated enough without adding to it, especially since I think you and he feel exactly the same way about each other. Am I right, Brian? Don't you think your relationship is good just like it is?" He hit the nail right on the head.

"Sherrie, I love the time we spend together, because we're not putting pressure on each other to make more out of us than there is. When we laugh together, we're especially good. Let's continue to be good. You might meet someone in Sweden and fall madly in love. You need to be free to be open to what life has for you.

"My commitment to Jennifer is about Jennifer. That won't change. I promise."

We talked a little longer, with Sherrie trying to feel better about herself I suppose. Jerry and I got it, and Sherrie would when she relaxed and let herself be herself.

When I got back to my suite, Rebecca called, and we talked for long time about all kinds of things. She got excited when I told her I'd be coming back to Branson for the Holidays. "Oh, Brian, that sounds great. When are you arriving?" She sounded almost breathless.

"I'll try to get a flight out of here tomorrow and figure things out on the fly." I knew I'm made a mistake when the words left my mouth.

"Oh, Brian, you don't have to figure anything out. Colleen or I will pick you up, and you can stay with us. It will give us time to 'catch up' and see what we see, together." I knew what she wanted to see, and I knew what I wanted to see, but if we spent the Holidays seeing those things, we'd not get anything done.

"Let me see if I can get us the presidential suite at the Chateau on the Lake with another attached suite, so Mr. and Mrs. Bell can join us. We can camp out there, sleep late, order obscene amounts of room service, send you down to the spa for a massage and makeover, and generally live the life of the idle rich until we take Jennifer to Sweden." I could tell Rebecca liked the idea of spending the Christmas Holidays being pampered like a princess.

"What am I going to do with YOU, Mr.?" She laughed when she said it. "You just live to spoil the people you like, don't you?"

'Maybe I do, ' I thought. 'There are worse things to be accused of, and no one gets hurt when your intention is to make sure they're comfortable, happy, and cared for.'

"Have I told you how sexy you look?" I asked innocently.