Chapter 2

There was no rhyme, or reason for our affair. Deirdre had kept herself chaste since her teenage love affair with her brother, and now she gave herself fully and beautifully to me. The thrill of making love to such a beautiful woman kept my attention and we remained passionate lovers, though careful and circumspect at all times. It would not do to open ourselves up to the storm of criticism that would follow such a disclosure.

Evie knew something was different because I was happier when she next saw me. She had no idea why I was happy, but if a fourteen year old boy is all of a sudden happy, sex is usually somewhere in the equation.

Just saying...

Deirdre spent every evening with me, in my room. If Chasen was home our get together was always much later in the evening, because he loved to spend time with both of us, and we enjoyed those evenings immensely. He was always full of news and interesting information, because he operated in such rarified circles. There were times when I could have easily steered him one way, or another when he discussed foreign business deals, but refrained because there was no way Ross – or Terry – could have possibly been able to share anything of substance about anything.

One thing Evie was confused about to the point of suspicious was my intellect. It was not possible for me to leave the grounds to attend school while there were people out there wanting me dead. Evie was my bridge to adulthood. She was responsible for preparing me to enter the real world.

“Grrrr ... You are so frustrating! You’ve been hidden from the world since you were born, but your reading comprehension and learning ability is off the scale! How is it possible for me to get you ready for college when I can’t find your ceiling?”

She turned to Chasen for direction. “Mr. Wellington, I know you hired me to find Terry’s educational level and plot a strategy to get him caught up to his age group, but it’s almost impossible, because I can’t figure out where he is. Sir, it’s like he had an Ivy League mind, trapped in a child’s body, and the deeper I dig, the broader the knowledge base I discover.” They talked for a long time, seeking to plan the next year, or two before decisions have to be made about my higher education.

Deirdre smiled her secret smile at me when no one was looking, and her look promised wonderful things for later. Mr. Johnson shouted his approval. Evie caught me with an erection in my slacks, realized what she was looking at, and blushed as she looked away.

“She is intrigued by you,” Deidre said to me, much later, in bed. We were relaxed following very pleasant and gentle sex. Her climax built slowly. Deirdre had a knack for deliberately climbing toward her peak instead of smacking into her orgasm Deirdre climbed a very defined staircase, one step at a time. When she arrived, it lasted a long time and seemed to give her enormous pleasure.

“Evie...” she said. “She doesn’t know what makes you tick, can’t figure out why you are the way you are, and hasn’t decided if you are attractive to her, or not. If you are careful, I think she would enjoy a night alone with you as much as I do.”

I wasn’t hurt, just puzzled. Why would Deirdre want me to pursue other women? If I was only the second boy she’d ever slept with, why wouldn’t she be more selfish with me? My face must have given me away, because she quickly explained. “Terry you are amazing and I love you every bit as much as I loved Nolan, but boys are supposed to experience lots of girls before they settle down.

“Girls should choose carefully and resist sleeping around, but you are fourteen and I’m thirty-three. If you are modest and quiet about sewing your wild oats, I will be just fine to share you with Evie. Please don’t sneak around and lie about it. That would hurt me very badly.”

Her words gave me much to consider. In every life there came a woman that I was totally into, who somehow, some way, decided that I should be with others, even though they wanted to be exclusive only with me. I tended to get my feeling hurt if I didn’t talk myself out of it when the woman I chose to love, wanted me to share that love with others.

In many ways I was the monogamous partner, and ended up choosing women that were fine with me choosing others besides them. That always made me feel like they loved me less than I loved them, and often caused me to withhold some of my feeling to avoid getting hurt.

Deirdre didn’t want to hem me in, but wanted to be hemmed in by me. Most guys would love to have that in their relationship with their significant other. I wasn’t most guys and if I started to share the wealth, so to speak, my fear was that it would lessen what we had.

Deirdre tried to soften the blow to my ego by explaining herself better. “Terry, you thrill me just like Nolan did. Your gift for thinking about me and my pleasure, while holding back until you know that I got there is wonderful and I am very thankful.

“Even though I’ve only slept with two boys, I have ... done things ... with other guys and I can tell you that you take no back seat to any man I’ve ever fooled around with.”

Now that she broadened her definition of chaste, I was dying to know who she’d been intimate with and how far they went, and how much she enjoyed it. I had dozens of things I wanted to know but was afraid to ask for fear of insulting, or annoying her.

I shouldn’t have worried.

“It was several years after Nolan was killed before I could think about being near another guy. Daddy – Mother died of an undiagnosed heart condition less than a year after Nolan’s murder – thought I might be confused about my sexual orientation and made an appointment for me to see a therapist. Once it was obvious that I didn’t want to be with women instead of men, Daddy worried that I was too traumatized by losing both my mother and only sibling so close together, and urged me to try therapy, again.

“Those appointments were such a waste of time, Terry...” She was suddenly wistful. “When I finally told the therapist about my affair with my brother, she was incredibly supportive and understanding. Lois helped me see myself as woman who was recovering from losing my life mate, instead of a nasty girl that slept with her brother.

“I needed to feel normal again. Lois helped me see me as me, and not a pervert who was paying for her sins...

“I guess that’s why I feel so positive about our relationship. You fill the need inside me just as much, but very differently than Nolan. When I look into your eyes as you struggle to hold back while I tip over the edge, I see the same devotion that I saw in him.

“Thank you, Terry. You’ll never know how much you mean to me and how much your love has helped me heal.”

“I completely agree.” Chasen Wellington stood in the doorway, and he was smiling. He looked at me with new respect. I wasn’t accustomed to seeing respect in the eyes of adults. Fourteen year old boys don’t get much in the way of respect. Aretha Franklin said it best. Her desire to feel like an equal with her lovers was much akin to my desire to be seen as a person instead of a damaged child.

We kept covered and I waited for the explosion.

“Terry ... I’ve known for weeks that you and Deirdre have been lovers. You might not understand how special that makes you. My daughter hasn’t let another man near her since her brother was murdered by your mother. That she can open her heart and move forward gives me so much joy...”

He looked at Deirdre smiled the most loving, beautiful smile. They really did have a special father – daughter relationship. “Honey, I have prayed to God that you would make peace with Nolan’s death and start to live again.” Deirdre wrapped the top sheet around herself and ran to Chasen. She was hugging him and crying at the same time.

“Daddy, don’t be disappointed in me. I love Terry every bit as much as I loved Nolan. Terry is special to me, and he makes me feel things I thought were dead to me.”

Chasen wasn’t about to rain on Deirdre’s heart. “Darling, I am not ... could never be, disappointed in you. You give me so much joy. I love it that you love me enough to live at home, but it had driven me crazy worrying about how closed you were to other men. Now I see you with Terry and the happiness in your eyes tells me everything I need to know.’ He hugged her so hard, she ended up suspended in his arms. “Just be good to each other and keep your affairs to yourselves. People would love to gossip about you and Terry. Be careful to give them nothing to gossip about.”

Chasen was apparently just arriving home from his trip and stopped up to greet us. Our unclothed condition could have spelled my ouster from the family, but instead, he seemed genuinely pleased for his only daughter and sole grandchild.