Chapter 40

Even before my head hit the pillow I realized how I'd miscalculated. Hoping Tammy was still awake, I tapped on her bedroom door, and waited to see if she'd answer. After a brief delay, I heard a tiny voice, "Yes?"

"Hey," I said. "When we talked just now, I forgot to tell you one very important thing about our arrangement.' I could hear her take a deep breath through the closed door, and could imagine her telling herself that the other shoe was about to drop.

"Ok," she whispered. "What is it?"

"You are NOT a servant on this boat. I don't want you thinking that you need to check with me before you go to bed, or do something for yourself.

"I don't intend to be your boss, or give you orders. Don't ask permission. Our deal is straightforward. You are a guest, and not the maid for as long as you wish to stay.

"In exchange, I will let you help with the housekeeping.

"Think of this as if we're roommates helping out with the chores. I felt awful, just now, when it hit me that you felt like you needed to ask permission to go to bed. I truly hope you forgive me for giving you the wrong impression."

She was silent for so long that I wondered if she had gone back to bed, and then I heard the door opening. She had such a look of genuine gratitude on her face; I realized that my gut instinct to go to her and apologize was correct. I bet it had been a very long time since anyone asked her to do something, as opposed to ordering her around.

Her smile was touched at the corners, with two tears. There was one tear that ran down each side of her face, and framed her smile.

She looked positively precious as she said, "Really? You mean it? You really mean it? I've become so accustomed to doing whatever I was told to do, I'm not sure I know how to behave, anymore."

"Here's the thing, Tammy. You and your girls are guests on this boat. I consider it a favor that you're willing to help with keeping it orderly. Beyond that, I want nothing from you, except for you to rest, recover, heal, and find out who you're going to be for the next forty or fifty years.

"I hope you'll stay and keep me company on this trip, but if you find this is not what you want, tell me, and I'll arrange transportation for you anywhere you want to go. I'll make sure you have enough funds to make a go of it, until things get better." Her face was an open book. I could read so much into her expressions, but I wanted her to decide what to tell me, and what to keep to herself.

"Look, Tammy. You're tired. You're probably completely exhausted. Go to sleep. Sleep late tomorrow morning. If the girls are up before you, I'll take care of breakfast for all of us. If you wish, there's a hot tub on the roof, it's filled and warm. Take a long, hot soak, and let the warm water work on your bruises, and bumps," I said, indicating the visible bruises on her neck, and shoulder. She blushed, ashamed of the abuse she'd suffered.

I took a huge chance and hugged her very lightly, leaning toward her with only my upper body, placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, told her goodnight, and then walked back the hall to my room, leaving her standing at her door in shock because someone spoke to her in a kind voice, asked what she wanted to do, and then treated her like a person, instead of an appliance you put things in and take out of.

As I closed my bedroom door, I looked down the hall and saw Tammy, still standing in her doorway, with a look of wonder on her face. Either Linda, or Amy was peaking around the stairway, watching our exchange from below with a neutral expression on her face. I bet myself that within five minutes, the other twin would know everything she saw and heard, and decided that that wasn't a bad thing.

I kept thinking about how drastically everything changed for me, as I got ready for bed. As I shaved, showered, flossed, and brushed; I reviewed the circumstances that brought the four girls into my life and my response to their need.

Tammy broke my heart. Seeing a woman beaten down to a shadow of who she should have been, and seeing how scared she was of everything around her, brought out the guardian in me. My inner man wanted to hire Mr. Bell's investigators to dig up dirt on her husband, get him arrested, convicted and jailed - if not beaten to within an inch of his life, jailed, and then beaten up again, harder. The emotional side of my inner man, wanted to hold her in my arms until the hurt went away, then stand her up, brush her off, and watch her learn to live whatever life she wished to live. The 'guy' in me wanted to undress her with my teeth, and find out all her secrets hiding just below the surface, waiting to be unleashed. In that way she reminded me of Beth Ann.

Thinking about Beth Ann awakened a sudden need inside me. Instead of a feeling of calm, thinking about Beth Ann had me hard as a rock. I was so stiff that my dick could drill portholes in the side of the boat. Taking matters into my own hands relived the pressure and let me sleep.

My dreams were full of Beth Ann. She was ever so nearby me, that night. We were happy, together. Our bodies drew together in a thunderous climax, causing us to collapse at the apex, falling apart from the sheer transfer of orgasmic energy.

When I awoke, I was alone. The last vestige of Beth Ann slipped away from me, like the last tendril of smoke from a tiny fire, far away. The dream left me hard and sad. 'Surely someday the sadness had to lift and let me get back to being me, ' I thought.

The clock glowed five – sixteen. I gave up on sleep, and took my book up front to my favorite chair. The river rocked us ever so gently, and the light from the lamp illuminated only a small circle around me. I was pretty sure I wasn't disturbing anyone, but kept very quiet, just in case.

When I got settled, I got a surprise. Carrie was fast asleep, wrapped in a blanket on the couch. She fell asleep facing the back of the sofa, and had pulled a pillow over her head. I recognized the robe she wore, or I wouldn't have known which of the girls it was. I guessed she got lonely, or afraid, if not both, sleeping alone in a strange place, and wanted to be nearer her mother. It was sweet. She looked like a baby in a crib, wrapped up and facing the back.