Chapter 28

The immediate rush of joy after hearing Rebecca tell me she was pregnant was quickly doused by her admission that the child may belong to someone else. I fought the urge to turn around and walk away, giving Rebecca time to explain, even though it took all my intestinal fortitude.

She searched my eyes, expecting me to explode, scream, rant, rave, throw things, or at least do something. I gave her patience, kindness, and time to compose herself before plunging ahead.

When she knew I was listening, she said, "I suspected it three months ago, but I've known for over a month. So close to having Millie, you can't really see the baby weight, yet." She was stalling, trying to gird herself for what was to come.

"It happened after we moved into the new house. I was vacillating between depression and anxiety. It was like living in a BINGO machine, bouncing around, from day to day, like an idiot.

"Brian, you were so happy with the new ball team, getting settled as an owner and player, and I was so confused, needy, angry, and depressed, with nothing to blame it all on.

"He was an assistant manager at one of the stores in the mall. I was miserable inside, lousy company for you, and we both knew it, but you NEVER spoke harshly to me, told me to buck up, or did anything to justify my cheating on you ... on us, really.

"All of us.

"He was sweet and thoughtful, and when he came into the dressing room with me, I stood still and let him take my clothes off, one piece at a time. My brain was screaming at me to slap his face, and run, but my body responded so forcefully, that before I knew it, I was lying across the bench and he was inside me.

"I've hated myself for days ... wanted to kill myself for months, but couldn't do that to Millicent and this one," she patted her stomach, to indicate the little one growing inside her.

I stood still as a statue and let her talk. She could see the hurt in my eyes, but I gave no other outward signs of the turmoil I was suffering.

Rebecca put an end to my suffering with her next statement.

"We met a couple times a week until I knew I was expecting, and when I told him, he turned his back and walked away without a single word.

"It Hurt So Bad, and then I realized that was exactly what I was going to inflict on you, when you found out. I could have tried to make you think it was yours, but Maglio is a very dark skinned Puerto Rican. His child will definitely not be Irish white, even though it will be half me.

"Brian, I wanted to wait until the season was over, to let you do what you had to do without this hanging over your head, but I need to leave ... Knowing I was pregnant, gave me the courage to break things off with you, while I still can.

"I can't live with you anymore. I'm sorry, but what is ... just is, and I have to go. You HAVE to let me go.

"I need to go." She implored me with her eyes, and I didn't know what to say.

What do you say when the mother of your daughter tells you she CHOSE to let another man knock her up, so she could use her condition to walk away from you?

I could see the truth in her eyes.

Why didn't she keep the secret to herself.

Aren't some secrets meant to be just for the one who knows it?

I finally found my voice. "What about Millie Jane?"

Rebecca gave me a look of pure hatred. "That's all you have to say to me? That's it! 'What about Millie Jane, ' is the sum total of your thoughts after what I just told you?"