Chapter 11

Mr. Bell could see I didn't want to talk about Wayne and his scouting expedition to Branson, so he let it go, and we headed home. Mille and Colleen were just getting in from shopping, Winnie was with us, Yolanda was with the kids, and Rebecca hadn't come out of the bedroom all day. Yolanda said she had to take Millie to her for feedings. That concerned us all, and we talked about how to approach Rebecca and suggest a full medical and psych workup.

"Maybe I ought to call Jane and see if she could come spend a few weeks. It might perk her up," Millie suggested.

Mr. Bell looked hard at Colleen and she came to his rescue. "Mother, I don't think Rebecca would appreciate a visit from her mother right now. They didn't have a good time when and Brian she went to tell her about becoming a grandmother."

Millie looked sharply at me and said, "What happened? Why didn't you say something? How bad did it go?"

"Jane seemed to think that Rebecca got pregnant just to make her look, 'old.' She whined endlessly about how her social set would react of they found out that Jane was old enough to be a grandma, and she wasn't happy about it in the least.

"I don't know her well, but she seemed to be totally caught up in herself, and even the thought of having an adult daughter was repulsive, so she tries to live as if Rebecca doesn't exist any longer.

"It made me very angry to see someone as self-absorbed as Jane Temple. I don't know how Rebecca has kept her experience with Jane to herself all this time, but I wanted to smack some sense into that woman." I didn't want to gossip, but we needed to help my love and these were the people that make up Rebecca's support system.

Mr. Bell finally gave us his opinion. "Rebeca clearly has some form of post-partum depression. None of this happened while she was pregnant but it all came up soon after she got home from the hospital. Yolanda, how does the medical field treat this these days?"

Yolanda thought for a little while and said, "Rebecca has some of the classic symptoms but there's something else going on in her head, and we need to find out what that is, then treat the depression. I would bet that whatever her secondary issue is has caused her to change behavior so dramatically.

"I have an old girlfriend that treats both sides of this problem, at Hopkins. I'll call her in the morning and see what she suggests and get some direction as to how to get Rebecca to let her self be treated. By this time tomorrow night, we'll have some ideas as to how to proceed.

"In the meantime, I'll take our girl some supper, and see if she wants to talk." Yolanda had a good idea. Find the best person in the field, and see what they think.

I enthusiastically agreed with her proposal and we all had things to do. I had two children that missed their Daddy all day long, and needed held, cuddled, fed, bathed, changed for bed, and cuddled some more, with a little cuddling thrown in for good measure.

As you can see, my evening was completely booked.

Holding James, and rocking Millicent in the crib beside us, I got to thinking about our home. We had twenty-one TV's scattered around the house, and I rarely turned any of them on. The babies and my grown up babies were my home life, so TV was something that just didn't mean much to me.

In every room there was a stereo system that received XM Radio. I loved to turn on some soft rock, or oldies, and listen while I tended to the children. The music seemed to add softness and gentleness to the mood. I thought that was good for the babies. Even when I turned it up and sang along, they seemed to be content, so I didn't think they were offended by it.

I was softly singing along with the Mamas and the Papas when Winnie crawled into my lap and snuggled. She kissed the side of my face and said, "Colleen thinks you need to be the last one in to cuddle Rebecca tonight. She says you have a gift that none of the rest of us have for pulling Rebecca out of one of her dark moods, so get your butt up and go take care of your girl!"

She poked me in the ribs, and I had to retaliate.

I had to.

I just had to defend my honor by tickling her into submission ... and her panties.

It worked very well.

In both instances and by the time we finished, Rebecca was ready for a little attention.

The lights were off, and Rebecca was settled in for the night, in the bedroom next to ours. She apparently moved in to find some peace and not have to share the bed with three other full grown adults. It hurt me like a punch in the stomach to find her alone, I another room. There had to be a way to help he through whatever was happening inside her, and help her find her way back to being her.

She was in a conservative nightgown, with her hair banded up to keep it out of her face. The lights were off, except for a nightlight near the bathroom door. Rebecca clearly wanted to convey the message that she had gone to bed. When I knelt beside the bed, she barely acknowledged me.

That hurt worse then everything else.

"Hey," I whispered. "Before you fall asleep, I want to you to remember that I love you and can't wait until you feel yourself, again. If you wake up in the middle of the night, and can't remember that I love you, just walk over and wake me up. I'll remind you..."