Chapter 5

Another Monday at the school:

Right off the bat, half the Juniors, half the Seniors and a few of the Sophomores cornered me in the corridor. 'Here we go, ' I thought ... but no ... the underclassmen wanted to know everything about the Jag ... and I didn't know much more than the magazines told.

One of the kids asked if it was a standard or an automatic. American cars ... all except the new 'vette ... had shifters on the steering column. Only the 'vette had a four speed. Guys didn't know much about the 'vette ... there wasn't one in town ... not even on the Chevy Dealers floor.

"Yes, it's a stick..." I said. I'm not volunteering anything.

"Well ... what kind?" some guy asked.

"Four speed on the floor..."

That brought out a chorus of 'Oooh's'. Then somebody wanted to know about the engine.

"It has dual overhead cams..." I said knowingly ... I got that from a book ... Harry didn't let me look.

Another kid asked if it was a V-8.

"It's a six. It's not a V8."

"If it's not a V8 why does it have two cams?"

"One cam for the intake valves and one cam for the exhaust valves." More book learning ... and a brain that knows the future.

And that brought out a discussion about how slow sixes are compared to an 8.

"I don't know about that but it's got 140 on the clock ... but I don't know ... The speedometer is in front of the passenger."

"How does the driver know how fast he's going if he can't see the speedometer?" A wise-ass asked.

"He's got a tachometer in front of him ... it's on the dash."

Some jock asked what a tache- o -meter was.

One of the motor heads said it was a dial that told you how many RPM's the engine was turning. And THAT took out several of the guys as they tried to convince the jock that it wasn't magic.

Some kid said that a car that fast had to have dual carbs.

"Yes, it has dual carburetors ... SU's ... I think"

"Why doesn't have door handles?" asked one of the few motorhead girls. Girls are supposed to cook ... they aren't supposed to know about cars.

"It has barchetta doors, very small doors without exterior handles." Thank you, Motor Trend!

Well, how did they get in the car was the very next question.

"I guess ... General Bleeker ... yes ... Air Force ... Uncle Harry simply jumped in ... He pulled something to open the door for Dad."

A hotrodder wanted to know about the top and windscreen.

"Yes, the windshield comes off ... and no he didn't."

Somebody else asked if it was fast.

"Hell. I don't know. Daddy went for a ride ... I didn't." That pretty much was that ... they wanted to know and I didn't ... know.

The Seniors wanted to know about the girl.

"She's my cousin," I said.

"She's a sexy babe," said several.

"She's my cousin ... drop it."

"You get any of that?" one of the guys asked.

"You getting any from Sally?"

"That's none of your fucking business."

"That's right ... my cousin is none of yours."

Things started downhill when a comment from lots earlier in the questioning finally penetrated the skull of the local giant. "Your dad is an only child ... where did Uncle General come from?" This was from a hulk of a football player.

"My mother's brother." I responded.

"How did you get an uncle that smart?"

"He's my uncle, moron ... My family is smart ... it's the reason I'm 12 and a Freshman and you're nearly twenty and a Junior."

"You calling me stupid?"

"Nope, Butch ... I'm not calling you anything ... you are."

"Your mother wasn't smart enough to stay alive, asshole."

Grace heard that and smacked the moron in the back of the head. "Don't you say a word about my mother, Butch Cassidy ... My mother is My mother ... and I know who my father is ... where's yours?"

Chapter 6 »