Chapter 45

Let's get one thing straight right off the bat: You can NOT win the thing on the first lap ... but you can sure as hell lose it.

I have seen a lot of strange things in three lives ... I remember those. I don't remember being an indian and fighting in the 'red water.' Or any of those other lives the sweat lodge brought out...

"Nevah happen, GI."

But I have watched a race car run over the trunk, top and hood of three cars on the green flag and end up buried in the trunk of a fourth before he ever made the starting line ... so I KNOW you can lose it on the first.

I am pleased to say no one sunk in the channel but four of the starters in Class C ended up in shallow water on the beach. Three on the north side and one on the south side. I can also say that those four were the biggest braggarts before the start.

So.

The gun went bang

Grace said, 'Dang,

Those crazy guys can all go hang.

We'll sit back here

And not go near.

We'll wait for the traffic to get clear."

And the crew sang:

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum.

The last boat cleared

The end of the pier

Grace said, "David, go check our gear."

It looked alright,

The weather was bright

We sailed down the channel and passed the light.

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

Yo Ho Ho and away we go.

"We have a choice

You have a voice.

Algoma bay or Port Washington?

Which to choose

Is up to youse

Sixty six miles to either one."

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum.

Prevailing winds

Are from the north west

You should pick the one that works the best.

"I don't care

Double dog dare.

Chose the one with the best air."

"I don't know

If the wind won't blow

We'll be moving awfully slow."

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum.

There goes a boat

Without no hope

They broke their mast and that's no joke

Too much sail

They'll have to bail

I doubt their pilot will land in jail

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

Yo Ho Ho and away we go.

Half way there

Without a care.

We tore a sail, we have a spare

Time for a snack

We'll have to share

Go below and repair.

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Coke

The breeze's gone light

We'll have a fight

We'll be out here half the night

I do care

There's ships out here

They'll run us down without a care.

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Sprite

Now here's a pile

In the next mile

Lights in the water but what the heck.

It'll slow us down

But we won't frown

We're saving lives from the wreck.

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum.

Oh my God

Here comes the fog

Couldn't see an asshole on a dog

It's so dark

We need an ark

We need an ark or a place to park.

Yo Ho

Yo Ho

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum.

"Grace?"

"Yes, David?"

"Where's the radar set?"

"In storage."

"Why?"

"It was heavy. You fucker!!"

"What does it look like up there?"

"It's clear to the north, not so good south."

"What's south?"

"It's got to be a Class A but they're moving. They've got some idiot hoisted up the foremast. I wonder about some people's kids.

"They're awfully close, David. Send up a flare at 9 o'clock and about 45 degrees.

"Great shot!! Got him! They're turning way."