Chapter 11

In my first life, Grandmother Austin died in 1955 ... in the second life she died in 1960, This time was a reprise of the first. Grandmother Austin lived until the First of January, 1955. Out with the old and in with the new.

On her way in, Maryanne Austin had her ass slapped by Dr. Grost.

On her way out, Grandma Austin had her ass slapped by the Grim Reaper.

Finally, Grace and I discovered why Lucile, AKA Wicked Stepmom, has been such a bitch since we graduated from the seventh grade and were well on our way to bypassing most of high school.

Mrs. Austin was in the family way.

When abortions were by coat hanger in a dark alley in Detroit, Lucy was in an "interesting condition". Yeah, we'd noticed she was ballooning but she hid it so well.

We thought she was just hogging the food.

In the delivery room, she put daddy through hell!

Grace and I were present for the auspicious occasion. Well, in the family waiting room; someone had to babysit two year old CharlieB. The terrible twos in a Quiet Hospital zone?

Daddy actually got to be in the torture chamber with Lucile. Our hospital has great soundproofing but the acoustics were never designed for Lucile Louise Austin in full spate. We heard every curse-word and body-shot she inflicted on him. She wasn't very nice to the Doctor, either; he was the traitorous snipper when daddy was the supposedly snipped.

"You bastard! You told me you got snipped...

WHACK!

"OW!"

"I'll OW! your fucking ass, you son of a bitch...

THUMP!

Daddy suffered through TWELVE HOURS of Lucile Louise abuse while she was trying her best to squirt Maryanne out the window.

"LucyLou! Calm down!"

"I HATE you, Charles William Austin ... you and the horse you rode in on ... cocksucking, motherfucking ... OW!"

"Shriek!"

"RATBASTARD!! ... You too, Doc! Goddamn! that hurts."

"CHARLIE! YOU WILL NOT NAME ... OH FUCK!... Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, MY LITTLE GIRL AFTER YOUR MOTHER!!"

"HER NAME IS MARY ANNE ... SEE TO IT!! You fucker!"

There was a ton more and Grace and I treasured every single word. Adult words we knew we could use ... if we were just a little older.

Lucile was admitted ... with a bad stomach ache at noon of New Years Eve, Friday, December 31, 1954.

She was diagnosed with acute appendicitis by an intern and prepped for surgery. The resident was just marking the position of the proposed surgical cut when Maryanne kicked him in the ink pen. The pen tip bent and ink splattered all over.

"Mrs. Austin?" said the surgeon.

"Yeah?" She was pretty groggy ... no ether yet ... but the anesthesiologist was sitting on his stool and ready to drop the first drops. The surgical team was prepped and ready ... everyone was waiting for the nod when that tiny foot traced its way across the abdomen. Several eyes got big. One of the nurses actually giggled. She was frowned at.

"Mrs. Austin? When was your last period?" the surgeon asked.

"Ymmmh?" Lucy had to think. Thinking cleared a little more space in her mind. "I disremember. Why?"

"Are your monthlies regular?"

"Umm?" she was a little less groggy, "Not lately."

"I'll be right back," he said. "Doctor Anderson?" Doc Anderson was the man with the ether can. "I don't think we'll need you."

"John ... I'll just step out until we're sure."

"Could you talk to Charlie? I'll contact Dr. Grost."

"Wait!" hollered a way more awake Lucile. "Doc? Am I ... Oh God ... I AM ... pregnant?

Maryanne entered the world at one tenth of a second after midnight, Central Standard Time, Saturday, January 1, 1955. Not only was she the first child born at Clinton Memorial Hospital in 1955, she was the first child born in 1955 in the state of Michigan. Maryanne's 15 minutes of fame came too damn early in her life for her to care.