11: Dude

I went to Starbridge Dude Ranch for my birthday. It was kind of a relief. I left Friday afternoon and came home Sunday afternoon. It's not that I wanted to get away from Rhonda, exactly. I really liked her a lot and we always had fun together. But she'd been my girlfriend for a month and I'd seen her every single day. Ironically, she volunteered to deliver my papers on Saturday so I could go. After we all talked about it together, her mom and dad and my mom and dad agreed that it would be all right, but Mom would do the Saturday collections. Dad would bring the papers over to Rhonda's house on Saturday morning and he'd deliver the long lonely stretch down our road.

I got to the bunk house and discovered that it was empty. It looked like I was the only one at the ranch for the weekend. I'd get to ride horses all day! I headed for the chow hall and found out that was not exactly the case. A dozen Girl Scouts were occupying the other bunkhouse. Oh, man. The only reason I could tell they were Girl Scouts was because they all wore their sashes over their western shirts. Their troop, I discovered, was here at the ranch to earn a horsemanship badge or something like that. They had two leaders with them who were bunked in the staff lodge. Instead of putting them all at one table and putting me by myself, the ranch crew set one table of eight and one of seven. We all came in and I just hung back and watched until there was only one seat left open. I took it between two girls who looked about my age. Of course, I didn't look my age. I was wearing jeans and my riding boots—we did have horses, after all, and all my family had riding clothes—and a plaid shirt with my cowboy hat. I looked like a little boy playing cowboy. We stood behind our chairs until the girls had sung some kind of grace and then we all sat down. The girl on my left nudged me.

"Do you always wear your hat to the table?" she asked. She was not asking for information. I took my hat off and hung it on the high back of my chair. I looked around and all the girls kept their hats on. Apparently there's some kind of law that says girls can and boys can't. There are probably a whole bunch of laws like that. While I was putting my hat on the chair, the girl on my left passed the mashed potatoes to the girl on my right and they just kept going. They tried to do the same with the green beans, but I stopped it and helped myself.

"Don't you know you're supposed to let girls be served before boys?" the one on my right asked. All right. I get it. Girls can be bullies, too. I scooted my chair back a couple inches and folded my arms to wait until the food went around.

"Oh for Pete's sake, Courtney!" a girl across from me said. "Trade places with me."

"Guh-ladly," the bitch on my left said. She stood up with her plate and walked around the table. The girl who had made the demand brought her plate and sat down next to me. She reached over like she was my mother and scooted my chair forward.

"Sorry, kid. I'm Debbie. The boy-hater who just moved away is Courtney. The stuck-up one on the other side of you is Jennifer. That's Allie, Jessica, and Amy. They don't hate boys, they just don't know what to do with them. Here, have some chicken. Pass the potatoes back over here, please."

"Thank you," I said. "I'm kind of used to it. I have an older sister and she's a be-atch, too." Debbie laughed. As soon as she did Allie, Jessica, and Amy laughed. Even Jennifer beside me sort of snorted. Courtney folded her arms low across her chest and the act served to push her boobs out.

"He's staring at my boobs," Courtney snarled.

"Well, you stuck them out at him," Debbie said. "Why don't you take your shirt off and accuse him of peeping." I scratched the back of my neck.

"Um ... please, Debbie. I might not be able to eat if she did that."

"Hey! There is nothing wrong with my boobs that would make you lose your appetite, little man."

"I didn't say there was. I just wouldn't be able to concentrate on my food. I'd just, like, want to drink my milk."

This time, Jennifer, on my right actually did snort and milk came out her nose. Debbie and the others were laughing so hard their leaders glanced over at our table. Finally, Courtney started laughing, too, though she was beet red.

"I give up. What are you doing here on a Girl Scout weekend?" Courtney finally asked.

"A Girl Scout weekend? I didn't know that. I won a trip to the dude ranch and thought you all were part of the prize," I said innocently.

"Like you'd know what to do with twelve girls," Jennifer snorted again. I guess it was just the way she laughed. Too bad because otherwise she was really cute. "What are you, ten?" Oh crap. I bet I was as old or older than most of the girls at the table.

"I'll tell you how old I am if each of you say your age first," I said. I turned to Jennifer.

"Fine. I turned fourteen in August."

"I'm thirteen," Debbie said, "fourteen in two months, but I've got three little brothers that I take care of."

And so on around the table. Courtney was fourteen. A very mature fourteen. All the girls were thirteen or fourteen. It finally got around to me.

"Well, I'd like to thank you all for coming to my birthday party," I said. "I'll be fourteen tomorrow."

"No way! You can't be as old as me," Courtney whined.

"I just haven't grown as much," I said. There went Jennifer again. I figured it out. She wasn't really stuck up. She just kept trying to ignore everything so she wouldn't snort. If she just let go with a good laugh she probably wouldn't snort.

"Okay, so is there going to be a cake and candles tomorrow?" Debbie asked. I panicked. There couldn't be, could there? No, of course not.

"I don't think the staff here knows it's my birthday. I told the truth. I won the trip delivering newspapers. My family agreed that I could come for my birthday. I don't think they told anyone." I saw Debbie try to look over my head at Jennifer and raise her eyebrows. The rest of the meal was actually pretty tolerable. I think they were doubtful until I told them what classes I was taking in eighth grade and what school I went to. The rest of the meal was pretty enjoyable and I was included in some of the conversation, though I had no idea who they were talking about most of the time. It was like that with Brenda and crew sometimes.

After we cleaned the tables, we sat by the fireplace and made s'mores and the girls sang camp songs. There were the cookies! I'd never had s'mores made with Thin Mints before. Yum! One of their leaders played the guitar. They sounded nice. I wasn't singing anything because I could never depend on what my voice would sound like. I knew guys' voices changed and I'd heard Carl's and Doug's voices drop. Lionel's went way down. At the rate I was going though, I was going to be the only boy in my class that went from a tenor to a soprano. I just never knew where it was going to be.

At eight-thirty, my usual bedtime, I said goodnight to everyone and headed to my bunk. I'd been up since four-thirty and was really tired. At least Saturday I didn't have to get up so early.

Saturday, my fourteenth birthday.

I woke up at four-thirty according to the glow-in-the-dark dial on my watch. Of course. The bunkhouse was cold as the dickens and I curled up deeper in my sleeping bag. I kinda had to pee, but I didn't want to get out of bed.

Papers? I thought about Rhonda getting ready to go do my route and smiled. "Good luck and be careful out there, Rhonda," I whispered. "And thank you." I blew a kiss in the general direction that I thought of as home and figured that she'd get it. Not that she'd notice. She wasn't really interested in that kind of stuff. It was strange that I didn't care. I had so much fun with her that not holding hands or kissing wasn't a big deal. Hell, I was only thirt... Crap! I was fourteen today! The realization hit me with about the same intensity as my full bladder and I crawled out of the warm sleeping bag to stand naked in the middle of the bunkhouse. I scrambled around in my bag to find a pair of underwear and socks and hopped to the bathroom. At least I didn't have to go outside to get to a bathroom.

I debated just getting back into bed, but finally decided I was up so I might as well get dressed and go help feed the horses. I'd done that when I was here last summer. I knew the guys out in the stable.

"Hey, Brian," one of the guys called when I walked into the barn. "Good to see you again. Want to help with the horses? We need a lot of them ready today."

"Sure. What do you want me to do?"

"Grab a curry comb and brush and start in the first stall. They've got food, so they should be calm while you brush them down. Grab a stool so you can reach their backs. We need a dozen nice calm, clean horses for all the little girls that are here today." I laughed. Some of those girls weren't that little, but I suppose to Hal, the weathered wrangler, we were all little kids. "Oh, and be careful of Jingo in stall four. He's feeling his oats today. We might have to leave him in the barn if he doesn't settle down."

I spent an hour and a half rubbing, combing, and brushing horses and met Hal in the middle. We couldn't waste time on horses with so many to get ready, but he still brushed about twice as many as I did. I guess one of the things about having Betts' two Arabians around to take care of and sometimes ride was that I was pretty comfortable with the horses—even lifting their feet to check their shoes. Jingo managed to knock my hat off with his tail, but he's really a big baby and loves being brushed.

"Let's get some breakfast and something hot to drink," Hal said.

"Yeah. I'm starving now. Oh. Jingo will be all right. I'll ride him today if you want."

"You know that you have to have a wrangler on the trail with you, right? And Tim and I will be wrangling those Girl Scouts. If you don't want to ride with them, you can ride in the ring until we get back from the morning ride and I'll take you on the long trail out by the lake for lunch if you'd like."

Hmm. Go out on a trail ride with a dozen cute girls who had never been on a horse before or wait and go on a real ride with Hal where we'd get to canter a little. That lake trail was great. No brainer.

"That would be great, Hal. Maybe this afternoon I can help with their ring work when we get back."

"Yeah. At least then you'll be warm while you watch their butts bouncing in their saddles," he chuckled. Now that was an image I was going to think about all morning.

"Eww! You smell like a ... barn!" Courtney complained when I sat down with my eggs. "Where did you sleep and can't you take a shower before breakfast?"

"Uh ... to be specific, Courtney, I smell like a horse, not a barn. You should take a deep breath because as soon as you finish your ride and brushing down your horse, it's exactly what you'll smell like."

"I'm at least taking a shower afterward."

"I wouldn't, if I were you. You see, you'll end up smelling exactly the same after the afternoon ride and training and then you'll really want a shower and you'll have a wet towel," I said. "Shower before dinner and then we'll all be fresh for the evening."

"Guys," Debbie said urgently. "We need to go back to the cabin and hang our towels out so they'll be dry by this afternoon. I don't want to use a wet towel." As soon as they'd gobbled down their breakfast, they ran to their bunkhouse to hang out their laundry to dry. I really, really didn't want to think about twelve cute girls in the shower. I stayed at the table until everyone else had left and then helped clear up the dishes to give my erection time to go down.

I headed out to the corral where Hal and Tim had all the horses lined up and were pairing up fourteen horses and riders. These girls must have thought it was a horse show because the seams on their jeans were screaming for mercy. Wow! Even their two leaders wore tight jeans. Hal motioned me over and asked me to help with the mount up and stirrup adjustments. I went to one of the leaders standing by her horse.

"Don't anyone attempt to mount until Tim or Brian or me can be beside you, even if you've ridden before. It's just a safety thing. We'll adjust your stirrups and make sure you're ready." I held the stirrup for the lady so she could get her foot in it. She almost couldn't raise her leg because her pants were so tight. She had one hand on the saddle and one on my shoulder and kind of leaned back in order to get her foot up. She finally managed to get her nice tight butt in the saddle. This was going to be harder than I thought. So to speak. Her stirrups were the right length and I figured Hal and Tim had already shortened them all. I turned to go to the next horse.

"Hey, uh ... Brian. Aren't I supposed to have something to steer with?" I just smiled.

"We'll hand you the reins once everyone is mounted. For now, just sit in the saddle and relax. Penny isn't going anyplace until they are all ready." I helped Debbie up on the next horse with less problem. She'd obviously ridden before, or someone told her what to do. She bent her left knee and waited for me to cup my hands. She put her knee in my hands and I gave her a boost up onto Timber. I actually had to lengthen her stirrups a notch to get a good fit and she said thank you.

Jennifer was my next rider and Jubal side-stepped a little just as she was putting her foot up to the stirrup. She fell forward onto me.

"Trying to cop a feel?" she asked. There was something about her tone of voice that said she wasn't really that mad if I was.

"Maybe it would be easier if we use Debbie's method and I can just toss you over to the other side," I said.

"You just want your hands on my leg." Still, she bent her knee and placed it willingly in my hands. I lifted her pretty easily into the saddle and adjusted the stirrups. She kicked me lightly in the shoulder when she took her foot out of the right stirrup so I could move it up a notch.

"Jennifer, be nice," Debbie said. Jennifer didn't respond verbally, but I had a feeling something was going on.

I got Amy mounted next to Jennifer and by that time Tim and Hal had the other girls in the saddle. Hal mounted and Tim and I went down the row of horses and untied them and handed their riders the reins.

"Hey, aren't you coming?" Debbie asked.

"Naw. Hal and I are going out after you guys get back."

"Private ride? No fair. I want to go."

"We'll see if you aren't too sore when you get back."

I watched as the trail horses all turned to follow Hal. They rode around the corral a few times so Hal could tell them how to rein their horses. They followed him out of the paddock with Tim behind them. I knew this routine. There was a three mile trail that was well-groomed and wide. Hal would stop several times and give them instructions on how to control their horses and might even let them trot a little. A mile out, the trail branched into a loop. Tim would go one direction with seven riders and Hal would take the other seven the other way. They'd pass each other about half way and then meet up at the fork again to come back. It was a pleasant ride, but was really an instructional course and they'd be back in about an hour or so.