107: Slaying the Dragon

"Rhonda," I squeaked as I turned to look at her. "You can't say things like that. I can't..."

She stomped her feet into her boots and stormed out the back door. Shit! I couldn't have Rhonda saying things like that. I left the bread in the bowl and grabbed my boots.

She was already in Gypsy's stall when I got to the barn. I didn't bother with either Princess or Jingo. I went into the same stall and put my hands on her shoulders. She stiffened.

"Rhonda. Honey. You can't say things like that. I won't ever say that. I can't. I won't. The police submitted their report," I stumbled along. She shrugged my hands off her shoulders and turned to face me.

"No, you can't," she said softly. "Even if I know it. And Josh knows it. And everyone in your casa knows it. And everyone in your clan knows it. And even your family knows it. Even though every single one of them think you are a hero for it, including me. You can't admit to killing the worthless fucking son of a bitch that raped and murdered our girlfriend. Choked on his own dick? How ironic. Just like Tommy Westerling has three broken ribs, a broken nose, and a broken arm. How similar to what he did to me. It wasn't irony. You caught that bastard masturbating on our girlfriend's grave. You knocked him out. The police report said he probably didn't even know he was choking to death because he was already unconscious. It makes no difference. Even though he was a monster—a murderer—the worst kind of scum the world has ever known. Even though you can't ever admit to killing him, you still feel guilty."

It was like she was whipping me. I wanted to reach out and slap her—make her stop. I slammed my hands into my pockets and backed against the wall of the stall. I couldn't take it.

"Why wouldn't I feel guilty?" I cried. "I'm no better than him. I was going to make him confess. And then I saw him and I got so angry. I became him. A murderer. Have you got that Rhonda? I'm a murderer. Yes, he deserved to die. Yes, he was a monster. But just maybe, if there is such a thing as God, he'd already taken care of it. He was already dying of an overdose. What right did I have speeding things up? What do you want, Rhonda?" I'd sunk to my knees on the piss and manure coated straw. I was done for. I'd go to jail.

"Look at me, Brian!" she snapped. I raised my eyes. I could see only torture and torment. "I killed our baby! You're a hero. You brought God's vengeance home on one who deserved to suffer. I took all my pills and tried to kill myself and all I succeeded in doing was killing our baby." Tears were running from her eyes and she had her fists clenched as she leaned against Gypsy for support.

"That's different, Rhonda. It wasn't even a viable life. You were alone and frightened."

"Damned right it's different!" she shouted. "Don't give me all the crap about viability and only ten weeks and not a crime. I've heard it all from Dr. McCall. I wasn't raped. I wasn't drugged or forced. I murdered the fruit of our love. I aborted a little piece of us. That little fetus was our son or daughter. He wasn't a rapist or a murderer. He wasn't a monster. He didn't deserve to die. I thought I was being brave and doing what had to be done to protect and save the ones I loved. I was a coward. How can you feel guilty about killing that animal and not understand what a terrible person I am? I left our group. I broke up with all the people I loved. I let Tommy Westerling ... use me any way he wanted ... because I deserved it."

"No. You didn't deserve it. You were only sixteen."

"That's not all."

"No. Please."

"The day he beat me up, I was coming here. I was running away to come back to you. You sent me the invitation. And that was the day ... the day ... I found out I was pregnant again." Oh fucking hell! NO! "I thought now I could come back and it would be like I never left and we'd have our child. And he beat it out of me! God wouldn't let me have what I killed."

"Rhonda, please," I whispered. "It doesn't make a difference."

"It does. You only knew about the ribs and the arm and the nose. You didn't know. Not only will Tommy never have children because you crushed his balls. I'll never have children because he crushed my ovaries. I'll never be able to bear your children, Brian. I'm damaged goods. I deserved it all. I deserved to be punished."

Rhonda was on her knees now, facing me. Gypsy shifted to see what was happening. God, just let me die. I can't stand any more.

"And you want to forgive me," Rhonda rasped. "You want me to be the way I was. I can't be. You want me to be happy. I'm not. Now you know. You don't have to pretend to love me anymore."

Pretend? How could she think that? Even now I loved her.

"You want to be punished?" I demanded. "You think you can ever be punished enough for what you did? Fine. I'll punish you. God damn it, Rhonda! Every night when you go to bed—every morning when you wake up—you look at your foot. You put those words there. I want you to read them every day for the rest of your life and know that I still love you. And when you go to sleep at night, do it knowing that in the morning I'll still love you. And no matter what you do or whatever happens, I'm still going to love you. It's not you you're punishing. I understand now. It's me you're punishing. It's Samantha you're punishing. Every minute you spend wallowing in your guilt you spend punishing us."

"I'm not!"

"You are! You did what you did to protect me. You did what you knew I'd do to protect you. You know what I did. So now you're punishing me for it. Fine. Look at your foot. I still love you. That's your punishment."

She wailed. The sound was so heartrending I collapsed forward and she pitched toward me. I barely caught her and she sobbed against me.

"How can I take it? How can I take so much love? Brian, I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you. Please, don't just forgive me. Help me. Help me live because so much love might kill me. I don't want to die anymore. I want to live. I want to love."

It was a long ways from over. Even if we called it a breakthrough, I knew it was just a step. It's easy to slay a dragon. It's harder to wake up in the morning and face yourself in the mirror. But life, in the form of school, work, basketball, college, homework, cooking, horses—life just doesn't give you time to sit and lick your wounds.

Winter break came a week before the season ended. Everybody grumbled about having to come back to practice for our last games of the season during the break and that no one would attend it anyway. Nonetheless, we played Friday night after school let out for the break and would play again Friday night before school started up again. Coach had mercy and told us we wouldn't practice until Wednesday.

Anna stepped in to make sure we didn't get any more break than we had to. Jen, Court, and I had already planned to cut classes at IU Monday and Tuesday. We'd get spring break there in March. But Anna had managed to empty her house of almost everything. She'd sold the furniture and brought anything that we could use to our place. She was ready to put it on the market except that the whole thing needed to be painted. Guess who got drafted. Not just the girls and me, but the whole casa.

"You always want an excuse to spend time together and there is a big empty house where you can run around naked all day if you want. But every room needs a fresh coat of paint. All the trim needs to be painted. The whole house needs to be cleaned spotless for the stager to come in. Help me with this and I promise you will be rewarded," she said. "I'm not going to say how, but you will like it."

Everyone brought their stuff to my house Friday night after the game and Saturday morning we left for Kokomo. I had enough episodes of 'Young Cooking' in the can that we were only recording next Saturday during the break and then not slated to record again until after Hoosier Hysteria. I'd made that a requirement. We had a basketball team that could go all the way and that meant games every Saturday in March. We had no idea what the cryptic 'You will be rewarded' comment was all about, but there was a certain appeal to the idea of running around naked for four days.

Of course, that wouldn't happen on Saturday. Anna came with us, gave us the key to the house. Walked through the whole house with the twelve of us, pointing out what needed to be done. Then she took four of us to Menards and we bought gallons and gallons of paint—all the same off-white they called eggshell—cleaning supplies, paint brushes and rollers, tarps, and two step ladders. And rolls and rolls of tape. By noon we had our supplies, our first order of pizza, and were ready to start covering, taping, and painting.

Anna stayed through the afternoon and then disappeared after she'd ordered us Chinese take-out for dinner. Our first priority had been to paint and thoroughly clean the living room. It was the biggest room in the house and after dinner we hauled the foam mattresses out of the car and spread them out. Sleeping bags and blankets came next along with everyone's overnight bag.

"I need a shower," Rose announced. She started stripping off her clothes as she headed for the main bath.

"I'm with you," Liz said. Her bare freckled butt was soon following Rose to the bathroom.

"Is it okay to use the Master Bath?" Nicki asked. Her clothes were mostly in a pile at her feet and I saw that the general move to strip was well underway in the room.

"Only if you shower with the master," Courtney laughed.

"Oh. That's okay. Brian, will you come and shower with me, master?"

"I'll shower with you, Nicki, but none of this 'master' stuff, okay?"

"Oh, poo, Brian. You chemists have no sense of humor," Mary laughed.

"We do, too," I said.

"I don't think you've ever even told a joke," Samantha laughed.

"Okay. How's this? Two chemists walk into a bar. The first chemist says, 'I'll have H2O.' The second chemist says, 'Yeah. I'll have H2O, too.' The second chemist dies." They all looked at me blankly.

"Huh?" Jennifer finally said.

"You see? You guys just have no sense of humor," I said. I headed for the shower to join Nicki.

We didn't really fool around much. Well, no more than two naked people in a shower ... Well, we didn't fuck. Nicki came on my hand while I was sucking her nipples under the flow. Loudly.

"I'll have what she had, please," Jen said from the doorway to the shower. Nicki stepped out a little wobbly. Jen and Court pushed their way in. I sure hoped we didn't run out of hot water.

Giving Jen what Nicki had involved me getting on my knees and looking up past her pussy while I tongued her clit. No sooner was that done than Courtney took her place and Jen held her up by the boobs as she nearly collapsed on my face. The two girls got out of the shower and I finally got a chance to wash the paint out of my hair.

"Will you wash my hair?" Rhonda asked. "Like you used to?" I was a little embarrassed to have Rhonda get in the shower with me. After Nicki, Jen, and Courtney, I was sporting a rock hard erection that I'd intended to relieve before I got out of the shower. But I welcomed her and she didn't seem to mind bumping into me.

"It looks like you haven't been in your professional caretaker mode while you were washing the other girls," Rhonda giggled. I massaged the shampoo into her hair and she kept bumping into my cock. Accidentally, of course. I kept trying to move back out of the way, but she kept shifting and making contact.

"I'm afraid I'm not being very professional about this shower with you, either," I said as she rinsed her hair.

"You don't have to be professional. Will you, wash me. You know?" She hesitated, looking into my eyes. "I really ... want to feel you touching me. Please?"

I couldn't pass up a request like that. I soaped her with my hands, gently rubbing her breasts and progressing down across her tummy and her back to wash her pubes and her ass. I felt her hand grip my cock and almost jumped out of the shower. But it was her move.

"That feels nice, Rhonda," I said. "If you do that, though, I'm not going to be able to hold back." I rubbed across her mound and dipped a little lower. I went slowly to give her a chance to back away. She didn't.

"I used to tell you all the time that I didn't mind if you went ahead," she said, leaning against me as we stroked each other. "Now I really want you to go ahead. I like the way it feels when you touch me, but it ... I don't think I can have an orgasm."

Well, that simple statement made me determined to prove her wrong, but when I increased my pressure and movement, she pushed my hand away. She didn't stop stroking my cock, though.

"Let me help you, honey," I said.

"Not yet. It's not punishment, Brian. Don't jump to conclusions. My body is almost healed, but I'm not ready for that yet. Please touch my breasts and let me kiss you."

I moved my hand over her tummy and up to her breasts as she lifted her lips to mine. It was a tentative kiss but hopeful. As our lips parted and our tongues touched—oh god! For the first time since that Labor Day weekend two years ago—her hand stroked one more time on my cock and I erupted as she continued jacking me. I shuddered, almost too sensitive for the pressure she was using but wanting with every fiber of my being for her to not let go.

"I'm getting better, Brian. I promise, I'm getting better. I love you."

"Hey, cutie," I said as Samantha cuddled up next to me. "I expected you to join the parade in the shower. Where did you disappear to?"

"I'm really horny, Brian," she whispered. "I want you to fuck me, not just eat me or touch me." I reached for her to give her what she wanted. "Wait. I have to tell you something. I should have talked to you first but you were busy."

"What is it, Sam?"

"I jacked Josh off in the other shower."

"Sam! What about Cassie? Don't hurt our girlfriend."

"I knew you'd be more concerned about that than Sam touching another boy," Cassie said as she cuddled up next to me on the other side. "Please don't be mad at us, Brian."

"I'm not mad, but I'm concerned. You have something very special going with Josh, Cassie. I guess I just don't understand," I said. "Are you on the outs? Why are you cuddled up with me?"

"I'm cuddled up with you because my hearthmate and friend was panicked about what you would think when I asked her to take care of Josh," Cassie said. "Brian, Josh and I are going to become lovers. I think—not yet, but eventually—we are going to get married. But I just went on birth control and I don't really know much about pleasing a guy except what you have taught me, and that really wasn't much, you know. I asked Sam to show me. Be fair, Brian. Josh is with all of us all the time, now. We're naked whenever we can be. There are ten beautiful women in the room and you are in the shower making them scream. Josh gets horny, too. I didn't know how to help, so I asked Sam to help."

"Josh was okay with it?"

"Not at first," Sam said. "Like you, his first question was 'what about Brian?' I told him this wasn't a regular thing and we aren't going to be compañera or even amiga. But that none of the girls were going to torture him. Cassie kissed him while I used my hand. She and Mary watched."

"Mary, too?"

"She has the least experience in the casa, but she is curious, too," Cassie said. "It wouldn't surprise me if she ... helps me sometimes."

"Speaking of which, will you make love to me now, Brian?" Sam asked. Her hand found my cock and I responded pretty quickly.

"Of course I will, cutie," I smiled. I kissed her.

"You could help me a little, too," Cassie said. "Josh and I aren't ready to do it together because we both know that when he puts his hand down there the first time, there's going to be no stopping before we go all the way." I felt her hand join Samantha's. She was just lightly touching me and following Sam's movements. I kissed her and my right hand moved down between us as Cassie spread her legs slightly.

"This is important," Sam said. "Even if you and Josh are exclusive when you start, you need to know how to do this." She held up a condom package in front of Cassie's face.

"How do you do it?" Cassie squeaked. Samantha gave Cassie step-by-step instructions and helped her roll the condom down my rampant cock. Cassie and I had held each other naked before and had even had mutual orgasms as we rubbed against each other. But we'd only once actually put our hands on each other's privates. Feeling her hold me erect while Samantha sank down on me was a new experience. Feeling the wet folds of her pussy part before my fingers was almost too much.

Samantha took over kissing me as she pumped up and down on me. Cassie was shuddering against me.

"I'm still fully intact," Cassie whispered in my ear. "Please don't put your finger inside me. I want to come when you and Samantha come."

"I know you aren't lez, Cass," Sam gasped. "But I don't mind being touched by a girl when we're making love. Why don't you hold Brian's balls so you can feel him pumping into me? If you touch me a little, I really don't mind."

"I feel so evil but I'm so turned on," Cassie squeaked.

"I don't think I'm going to last long," I said as I felt Cassie's hand caress my balls. My finger had found her clit and she was gasping beside me.

"You ... don't ... need ... to-oooo," Samantha whined in my ear. She bit into my shoulder as she came and the balls Cassie held started jumping. So did Cassie as she humped against my finger.

"I just love the smell over here," Whitney said. "We're going to have to clean the house all over again before we leave Wednesday." I pulled her to me. Samantha had collapsed at my side and Cassie had crawled over to sleep next to Josh. I craned my neck around to try to see where everyone else was.

"Is everyone okay?"

"Besides being horny? Yeah. Rhonda is cuddled up with Rose. They are so cute. It's like Rose is her mother holding a baby. Jen and Court are ... well, Jen and Court. Nicki and Liz are plotting something. Cassie and Mary are next to Josh. And you have an unconscious Samantha and a six-foot-three Amazon with a swamp between her legs. If you can't take care of me now, you get me when you wake up. The first time."

I was almost asleep when she curled up next to me, but when my fingers found the swamp, I woke up enough to roll on a condom and bury myself. We went to sleep that way. We woke up to a mutual wet dream with both of us climaxing. What the body wants, the body will have.

We finished the painting Monday night. All day Tuesday we cleaned and scrubbed. Josh and I raked and mowed the yard, trimmed the hedge, and power-washed the garage and driveway. It was still cold out, but there was no snow on the ground here so we managed to do a pretty good job of it. We even got up on the ladders and cleaned the gutters. Nobody wanted to mess up the bathrooms so after we'd packed up all our shit, we locked the door and went home.