89: Avenging Angel

"Will you take me to Elkhart? He might be watching the bus station here." I'd helped her put her suitcase in the trunk and buckle little Audrey in a back seatbelt. I tucked the shoulder restraint behind the little girl so it didn't come across her face and put the diaper bag next to her. The girl got in the front seat. As soon as she mentioned the guy watching the bus station I got paranoid.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I don't know. West or south. However far a hundred dollars will get us. It's all I have." I turned north and picked up the toll road headed west. "Where are we going?" She looked like she was ready to panic.

"LaPorte. If you go to Elkhart, you'll just come back to the bus terminal here in South Bend on your way to Chicago." I didn't mention the fact that I thought she might be setting me up by getting me to go to Elkhart. "You know I can't give you the reward unless you go to the police. Why did you come to me?"

"I tried. They kept wanting to know who I was and where I was when I called. I panicked when I saw a cop car and hid until they left. I don't care about the reward. I just want my baby safe."

"How do you know who killed Denise?"

"I lived with him the past three years. Ever since I got pregnant. What a stupid girl I am!"

"Hey, don't be too hard on yourself. You can't be very old."

"I'm nineteen. Audrey is three. I was sixteen when Hawk knocked me up." Hawk? That name rang a bell. "I really thought he loved me. But I'm not young and pretty anymore. I'm just something to trade for drugs."

"What?"

"He lets his dealer fuck me to get him stuff to shoot up."

"Christ! You need to press charges against him."

"I can't. He'll kill me, and if he doesn't, one of his gang or the dealer or somebody else will. I just need to save my baby." If this girl was acting, she deserved an academy award. She was holding back tears, trying to be strong.

"What's the rest of Hawk's name?"

"Lester. You met him once. He hates you. He thought it was you he beat up that night."

"The time I took Denise home and you had a baby standing beside him and his gang."

"You called me an easy white girl. You should have said whore."

"I'm sorry."

"It's true."

"What are you going to do when you get wherever you're going?"

"The only thing I know how to do. I'll trade sex for a safe place."

"I don't even know your name."

"You don't need to. I'll change it as soon as I'm out of town anyway."

"How do you know Hawk killed Denise and beat up Josh?"

"I didn't at first. He seemed to be all broke up about it when we heard the news. Then he started disappearing every Friday night. 'Going to see his girlfriend, ' he'd say, as if I was nothing. Then I followed him last week. He goes to her grave. It's disgusting. I yelled at him and he hit me. That's not unusual. He hits me a lot. More the past few weeks. He said if I told anyone he'd kill me, too. All week he's been looking at me like he hated me and I'd really get it as soon as he had his next fix. I ran away last night. I've been hiding in the parking lot behind the dumpster ever since the police tried to find me."

"Isn't there anyone you can go to? Your parents? A relative?"

"My parents threw me out as soon as they found out I was pregnant. Said no daughter of theirs was going to raise a nigger baby. I didn't get to take anything. They just took my key and locked the door. I used to have a friend who moved out west. I'll try to find her."

"Do you have any money?"

"I stole Hawk's stash. I figured he was rich and could afford it. There was a hundred and twenty dollars." I got off the Toll Road and headed into LaPorte. When I saw a branch of St. Joseph Valley Bank, I pulled in.

"Wait here," I said with as much authority as I could put in my voice. I'd been putting money in the bank all year from my shows. They told me I could withdraw up to five hundred dollars. I did. When I got back to the car, she was changing Audrey's diaper. When she finished, we headed to the bus terminal. "Here," I said, handing her the five hundred. She looked around outside the parking lot and reached over to pull at my belt. I caught her hand. "What are you doing?"

"I can't fuck you out here, but I can at least give you a blow job. If you want to get a motel room for a couple hours I'll let you fuck all my holes."

"This is so you don't have to do that," I said. "Stop thinking like a whore. Your daughter needs you. Buy a ticket someplace safe and clean up your life. Go to a shelter. They've got places where abused women can hide and get their lives together." I put my hand on her face to turn her toward me and she flinched.

Shit!

"I'm sorry. I won't hurt you and I won't fuck you. I don't know your name and I don't know how to use the information you've given me without you there to be a witness. But I know who did it now and I won't rest until he pays. Even then, I won't rest well if I don't think you are trying to put your life together. Denise's life was wasted. Don't waste yours."

She got out of the car and I got her bag out of the trunk while she picked up Audrey. She didn't say anything else. She shouldered the diaper bag, carried her daughter, and dragged the suitcase.

The more I thought about it, the sicker I got. Denise. I'd kissed her, held her, sucked on her nipples, pushed her to orgasm. I'd taken her riding. I'd taken her home. And my stupid cocky-assed remark to a bunch of street toughs got her killed. It was all my fault. They thought I was with her. I'd killed her.

I'd killed her.

I pulled into the drive and barely registered that Anna's car was already there. I ran to the bathroom and heaved. And heaved. And when there was nothing left in my body, I still heaved. Anna was in a panic and on the phone to Mom. Jen and Court were by my side wiping my face with a washcloth.

"Yes, I think he's got a fever, Nona. I'll give him a couple aspirin and see if he can keep them down. He hasn't been able to talk yet. Just dry heaves."

"Fine." I managed to get out. "Must have eaten something. I'm fine now."

"Clammy," Anna said as she felt my forehead. "I'll see you in a few minutes, Nona." Jen ran a glass of water and I took a couple careful sips to be sure it would stay down. Then Anna handed me the aspirin. They went down and I got control of myself.

"I need a shower. That really hit me hard. I think it's over now, though." Jennifer and Courtney had the water running and were stripped naked before their mother could get out of the bathroom. In fact, I think Anna might have helped get me undressed and the water running. There was a quick smack on both girls' butts and a little yelp.

"Just shower," Anna commanded.

"We're going to stay with Brian tonight," Jennifer said as I climbed the stairs. "Just in case he needs anything. It's not a precedent. I'm just not letting him out of my sight." Courtney was already upstairs ahead of me. That was going to make it tricky, but both girls slept like the dead. Especially if I wore them out first. I'd just have to convince them that I was up to wearing them out.

Mom had found the thermometer when she got home and pronounced my temperature normal. Nobody counts ninety-nine as a fever. I managed to eat a little but Anna insisted that it be bland. Dad took one look at me and called me aside.

"Is there something we should be worried about?" he asked. I looked him in the eye. I hadn't been sick like this since we found out about Denise.

"I just got to thinking about her and couldn't stop, Dad. It still hurts."

"Nobody gets over grief, Brian. It might not hurt as much as time goes by, but there will always be moments. You've got to try to deal with them without it wrecking you physically. Go bury yourself in your two girlfriends upstairs and let them soothe the soul as well as your body." My dad. Simple solutions, but really good ones.

We're an early-to-bed household. Since I still wake up at four-thirty every morning, I still go to bed by ten. It was earlier tonight, but that just gave me time to lick both Jen and Court into oblivion. The mouthful I'd given Court helped my outlook, too. But there was no way I was letting this go unanswered.

I'd hatched a plan. Looking back, it was a stupid plan, but I was sure it would work. I had a cassette recorder. I'd force a confession out of him and deliver him to the police with the tape. I just needed to get to Denise's grave around midnight and catch him there. If Hawk's girlfriend had told me the truth, he went to visit Denise every Friday night. She said he shot up drugs and drank. What a sick fucker.

About a quarter till midnight, I slipped out from between the girls. They never stirred. I grabbed my black shirt and jeans and slipped downstairs with my cassette recorder. I stopped in the kitchen to get my whipped cream canister out. I poured out two measuring cups with different household cleansers and grabbed a bottle of Allyl isothiocyanate, AITC to pour in the bottom of the canister. After my experience at the restaurant last summer I'd ordered a bottle of the distilled essence of horseradish. It came with a warning on the label to use in a well-ventilated place. I poured the bleach and ammonia in on top of the AITC and slammed the lid onto the creamer. My eyes still stung. I screwed a charger into the slot, put away the chemicals and put the cups in the dishwasher. In the garage, I grabbed my bike and a saddlebag and wheeled it out the side door. I stopped to grab a roll of duct tape and my ski mask. Then I walked the bike down the drive and started pedaling like crazy for the cemetery.

I'd only been here twice since the funeral. I felt bad about that. I should have visited her more often. I'd have found out about this earlier. At night you had to slip around a gate bar. You couldn't drive through, but it was easy to walk in. I pulled on my ski mask and gloves and grabbed my sprayer of deadly fumes. My plan was simple. Between the chlorine and the AITC gasses in the creamer one good whiff would knock him out. I'd just sneak up on him and spray it in his face. Then I'd tape his hands behind his back and his feet together. I'd start the tape recorder and force him to confess. With luck, I wouldn't have to hit him, but I knew that if I had to, I could.

One look at what he was doing and my plan flew out the window.

The sick mother-fucker!

I dumped the remains of my potent formula in a drainage ditch a few yards off the road on the way home. Yeah. I threw up there, too. I thought I'd make it home. I managed to get control of myself and swore that would be the last time. I rode home in the early morning stillness and walked my bike down the cinder drive so I wouldn't make any noise. With it parked and my bag hung up, I returned my ski mask and the unused roll of duct tape to their places. In the kitchen, I washed the creamer and put it in the dishwasher. I stripped off my clothes in the bathroom and put them in the hamper and took another long shower. Mom was waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, Mom. I just got to feeling queasy again and thought a shower would help. I think it's settling down." She felt my forehead.

"Why didn't you use your new shower upstairs?" Damn it!

"I ... uh ... didn't want to disturb the girls. I'm just not used to having a shower in my room, I guess." Was that one answer or two? I wasn't thinking too clearly.

"I think you just overdid it with those two last night before you got your strength back." Mom glanced toward her bedroom door. I caught a glimpse of Anna's naked body retreating into the room.

"It's kind of hard not to overdo it with them sometimes."

"Don't I know it," Mom smiled. "Go back to bed and try to get some sleep this time."

I went quietly upstairs and wiggled my way in behind Courtney's bare butt, pushing her more firmly into Jennifer's arms. They never woke up.

I'm a monster, Rhonda. I didn't even think about what I was doing. He was masturbating on her grave. I just went crazy. I turned into a monster. How will I ever be able to face any of our girlfriends or the guys thinking about this? I can't ever tell anyone. I couldn't even tell you if we were together. I can only think this out to you and know that somewhere, in some other life, you are comforting me. I know your answer. I did what I had to do. That's the answer, isn't it? That's what you meant at the studio. You knew I'd do this. At least that girl—if she ever finds out—can come home with her baby now. If there's anything for her to come home to. Maybe she's better off in a new place. She was no older than you were when she got pregnant. But she loves her baby. Rhonda, I need you so much. I love you. I hope you find what you're looking for. Be safe my love. It's an ugly world.

I pulled the bread dough apart into small hunks and draped a towel over it to rise one last time. When I woke up at five, Courtney stirred and found my cock wedged between her butt cheeks. That about set her off by itself. She wasted no time showing me that she wanted me to rub off against her and then reached back and wedged my cockhead against her anus just as I was ready to spurt. As soon as the first jet hit her, she slicked up and I slid further into her hole. Not quite enough to get past the rubbery muscle that worked there, but any more and I'd have been fully in her ass. She rolled over to face me, Jennifer still softly snoring next to us.

"I'd have pushed you all the way in if Jen had been awake," Courtney said as she smothered me with kisses. "I want you to take me there first. I know I'm a dirty girl for even thinking about that, but you just can't imagine how much it turns me on. I'm eighteen, Brian. Can we do it this week? This weekend? I love you."

"You are such a fantastic lover," I whispered. "I'll do anything for you, Courtney. If that's what you want, then that's what we'll do. Right now if you want."

"Right now, I have to go to the bathroom and you have to make breakfast," she whispered. "But next time, Brian, don't stop. Don't hold yourself back like I know you do. I want you in me. Next time."

It seemed that I was collecting a lot of 'next times' from my girlfriends. I knew that Jennifer and Courtney and I would become lovers this summer. I suspected that Sam would be with us the way they'd been talking. Rose said, 'next time.' Elaine set up our date for Labor Day weekend.

I heard Mom and Dad and Anna stirring with both the master and the hall bath active. I checked the temperature of the oil in the electric frying pan and stretched out a piece of the bread dough. It was a decadent morning for my family. The fried dough sizzled when Anna put her arms around me from behind and squeezed me.

"How are you doing, son?" she giggled. She'd only once or twice called me son. It had started as son-in-law last summer, but with our explicit acknowledgment of her relationship with my parents, she'd tried dropping the 'in-law' part a couple times. I knew it was her way of both accepting and being accepted.

"Anna-Mom, how can I stay sick with a loving family all around me? I'm doing much better. Thank you for being there with me last night when I got sick."

"I could hardly get to you for the way those girls were smothering you," she laughed. "Ooh! Do I get the first one?" I slid the first fried dough onto a plate and sprinkled it with cinnamon and sugar. I even had a cup of coffee with cocoa in it for her. "You are the best son."

"Isn't he, though?" Mom asked as she came into the room and repeated the actions that Anna had in squeezing me from behind. "No nausea this morning?"

"Not if I don't think about it," I laughed. It only takes a minute or two for the dough to fry so I slid the next one onto a plate for Mom and sprinkled it with powdered sugar. It was the way she liked it. She scooted in next to Anna and Dad laid a hand on my shoulder as he poured two cups of coffee. He didn't say anything, but just gave a little squeeze. I got another fried dough ready for him and he took it straight to the table to butter it and put strawberry jam all over it. Everyone has their own favorite way to eat this confection. We heard the shower upstairs and I started the hot chocolate. The girls weren't downstairs yet when tires crunched on the cinders outside and the back door flew open.

"Horses!" Sam called as she came into the kitchen. I wrapped her in a hug and gave her a kiss that was considerably more than what she expected as a good morning. She was surprised, but returned it with increasing fervor. When we broke away from each other, she staggered back a step or two. "Maybe I'll just go upstairs and wait in bed for you," she sighed.

"It's pretty heavily occupied," Anna snorted.

"Oh, Anna-Mom," Sam said as she leaned in to hug her. "Didn't realize you were all here. Sorry about the PDA. Good morning, Nona-Mom. Good morning, Harry-Dad." She hugged each of them and was about to sit when Jennifer came in.

"Good morning, girlfriend," she said. Sam wrapped her in a hug and gave her a kiss that was only slightly less than what I'd given her. Then Courtney went through the same ritual.

"What's this about you waiting in bed for someone?" Courtney asked.

"What do I hear about it already being occupied?" Sam shot back. All three girls giggled and we had to go through explanations about me getting sick last night and 'slipping down for a shower' in the middle of the night.