Chapter 10: We Have To Talk

Whatever it was that Cheryl brought to the party, it was the tonic that Mike needed. By the time my mother and father left in early April, he was well on the way to being his normal, teenage self again. I credited his new girlfriend for part of the transformation. Dionne teased her brother mercilessly, but it didn't change a thing. He was smitten with the lovely young blonde and she was equally enamoured with him.

"Cheryl has had a crush on Mike for over a year, Dad," Dionne told me. "She was waiting for Patti to break up with him and the minute she saw her with another guy, she made her move. Unfortunately, because he was still in hospital, she couldn't do anything about the opportunity."

"And you know this how?" I asked.

"I talked to her," my daughter admitted. "I was checking her out, just to make sure she right for Mike."

"And you figured you should be the judge of that?" I said with a sideways look.

"Well ... I didn't want him to end up with another Patti. After talking to her, I was pretty sure she wasn't like that. I guess Mike was always nice to her and she really developed a crush on him, thinking all along she didn't have a chance. Well, I encouraged her to take a chance, so that's what she did when she came to visit that day."

"Jeez, Dionne, have you been taking lessons from Marion Goshulak? She's the champion schemer and conniver around here."

Dionne laughed. "No, Dad. I was just trying to help a nice girl out. I've been where she is not that long ago. I know what it's like to want some guy to like you and it's no fun when you think you don't have a chance."

"Okay, I accept that you had the best of intentions, but leave it at that and let nature take its course. If they want to get together, then it will probably happen. They won't need your help," I said pointedly.

"You're right, Dad. My work is done anyway," she giggled as she left.

I'm not sure exactly when I made my mind up about Rita. I think it came a bit at a time. Little pieces of realization that I liked her. I liked her a lot. I like being with her. I wanted to be with her. It was sort of a creeping evolution of my feelings toward her. But whatever it was, at the end I knew I was going to move my relationship with Rita McLeod forward. I was pretty sure she was waiting for me to do just that.

I thought about how I should go about letting Rita know about my decision, but I never did come up with a plan. I was going to have to live with picking a moment and hoping it was the right one. More importantly, I wasn't going to let this get old. I had spent too much time and mental energy in figuring out that I wanted more from our relationship. This had been coming for some time, and now was the time to act.

"Any suggestions on what you'd like to do this weekend?" I asked Rita on Tuesday morning while we went over a new estimate.

"I don't know," she smiled. "What do you want to do?"

"I just want to be with you," I said, looking at her carefully. I'd found my opening and I'd said what I wanted to say.

I saw the look of recognition almost immediately. She knew. We had crossed a bridge and she knew.

"How about I make dinner and we hang out at my place."

"Perfect," I smiled.

There really wasn't anything else that needed to be said. The message was sent and received.

"What took you so long?" she asked, as we lay together in her bed.

"Me," I sighed. There was no point in denying the obvious.

"Why? You know I was interested," she said.

"I was in a battle with myself. I was trying to decide how much time should pass before I became involved with another woman. No one else thought it was too soon but me. You had everyone in my family's approval. I guess it all combined to wear me down."

"Is that what happened. You just got worn down?" She didn't look happy.

"No. I probably didn't express myself properly. I've had feelings for you for some time. I wasn't exactly denying them, I was just shelving them for later. I kept trying to find reasons why you might not be right for me, but ... I couldn't. I argued with myself that I should take advantage of what you were offering. My daughter, Marion, my mother, for God's sake, all were telling me I should answer the call. In the last little while, I realized you were occupying my thoughts every day. I was being stubborn ... maybe stupid. So ... here we are."

"I'm glad," she said seriously. "I knew there was something holding you back and I guessed it was either how others might feel about it or the ghost of Helen. I'm going to do everything I can to make you think about me every day. But ... I'm not Helen. From what Dionne tells me, I'm nothing at all like her. I hope you aren't expecting me to be like her."

"No. Not at all. In fact, what attracted me to you is that you aren't anything like Helen. I couldn't go back and live that again. You are totally different than her. Your body, your personality, your interests. No ... you don't have to worry about that. You are 'Lovely Rita, ' as the song goes."

"I never met Helen. What's so different about me?"

"Almost everything. Not quite as tall, red hair rather than dark blonde, more voluptuous, more outgoing in personality, athletic ... and those freckles. They drive me crazy. Shall I go on?"

She was laughing softly as I spoke. We were on our sides, facing each other. I reached for her and pulled her closer to me. "Do you have any idea how sexy you are?" I asked.

"No, tell me," she fibbed.

"When I catch your scent ... in the office ... I get hard. I can't help myself. I used to think I had pretty good self-control, but around you ... no chance."

"I knew that," she giggled. "You aren't used to someone as blatant as me, are you?"

"I guess not," I admitted. "You'll have to tell me what turns you on. This is going to be a very different experience for me."

"Why don't you tell me about your previous sex life, Gerry? It will give me some idea what you might not have experienced."

"Oh, brother, this is going to be embarrassing. To tell the truth, Helen was my first and only. We were both virgins when we married. She wasn't into adventurous things. It was pretty much ordinary, you know. She didn't like doggy style or oral sex with me. She seemed to like oral sex when I did it with her. Otherwise, it was me on top, or her on top. That was about it."

"Well then, assuming you wouldn't mind trying some other ideas, we might be able to broaden your experience quite a bit," she said, stroking my cheek. "First of all, I enjoy oral sex, both giving and receiving. I really like of doggy sex, especially when it's spontaneous and not necessarily in the bedroom. I've done anal, but I don't crave it. It makes for something different once in a while. I'm not into threesomes or sharing. I do like spontaneous sex. I don't care where it is, as long as it's with the right guy. We can get one of those sex manuals and see what we've been missing if you like."

"Being with you is going to be a whole new experience," I said. "I'm going to let you lead, but there will be times I'd like to be the boss. This first time was nice and loving. I liked that a lot. But now and then, we can get crazy and it's only a matter of when the mood strikes us."

"Oh, I like the way you think," she grinned. "I know we are going to be very good together, Gerry. I'm sure of it."

"I think so, too," I agreed. "Now, since you've got me back in business, what would you like from me?"

She almost jumped up and turned around on her hands and knees.

"Does this give you any ideas?" she grinned wolfishly.

That weekend was a breakthrough for us. I had surrendered to the inevitable. To tell the truth, I knew that I was going to yield to Rita's charms. I couldn't help myself. She had just too strong a pull on me ... and now my heart. She was unique and exciting. She had a brilliant personality and her glow shone on anyone who knew her. As the weekend passed, I knew I was in love with her. It wasn't the sex, although that was amazing. It was her vibrancy. Her joy at being with me. And my joy at being with her.

I had abandoned my home that weekend. I phoned and left a message with Dionne that I was spending the weekend with Rita and wouldn't be home until Sunday night. I didn't try and fool anyone that it was anything but what it sounded like.

I sneaked into the house late Sunday night to find Dionne up waiting for me. She clicked off the television as I entered.

"Have a good time," she grinned.

"The best," I admitted. I knew I wouldn't be fooling her.

"Good. It took you long enough."

"I had to get past some ... things. I'm glad I did," I confessed.

"I'm glad too, Dad. Rita is good for you. She's nothing like Mom, but she's just what you need. Do you think it will be permanent?"

I shook my head. "Too soon to tell. But I have my hopes. I'm in no rush. I can be patient. But ... she knows how I feel about her."

"Good for you, Daddy. I'm so happy for you," she said as she hugged me.

I felt as good as it was possible to feel. I had a new love in my life and my daughter ... my family ... approved.

"Where are we going, Gerry?"

I could feel my abdominal muscles tighten. This was the equivalent of "we have to talk." It was a question demanding an answer ... a serious answer. We were lying in the afterglow of lovemaking. It had been three weeks since our breakthrough. Three weeks since I'd surrendered to the inevitable. Nothing about the past three weeks had lessened my feelings about Rita. Quite the opposite. I was certain that she was the woman I wanted for my future.

"Rita, I want something permanent. I'm not used to unstructured relationships. Hell, I'm not used to anything other than being married. I know I've had to shake off the worry that I'm rushing things, but if you and I are meant to be, then I want to make that permanent."

There was no smile in reply, only another question.

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly, looking intently into my eyes. "I can't handle anything less than a lifetime commitment."

"I can't either," I said. "It's what I expected my life with Helen to be. But if I couldn't have that, then I want something just as good or better. The only person I can see who would make my life better would be you."

"Will there be a ring?" she asked tentatively.

"Of course. But only if you tell me you'll marry me," I smiled, kissing the tip of her nose.

"Yes, Gerry. Yes ... I'll marry you," she said. And for the first time I could remember, I saw tears.

"You've never had a ring before, have you?" I said.

She shook her head against the pillow. "No, never. But I've never really been married before, either. Hell, I only recently realized I'd never been in love before. I know I've said I was, but not really. You don't have to worry. This will be a first for me, at the ripe old age of ... oh ... never mind."

I laughed. "You know, when we marry, I'm entitled to all your secrets ... including your age."

"You have to marry me first, so you can keep guessing for now," she smiled through her tears. "But I'm not in a rush, Gerry. It doesn't need to happen tomorrow. Let's give ourselves some time."

"Okay," I said, curious about her sudden indecision.

"So when do you think we can move in together?" Rita asked the following weekend.

"Let me test the waters with Mike and Dionne. I don't expect a problem, but I think it's a courtesy that they should be asked."

"You go right ahead. I love that you think of their feelings."

"We've never really talked about your boyfriend," I said. "Is he likely to make an appearance?"

"No, I don't see how. I'm not sure he even knows where I am."

"Where is he?" I asked, curious about this guy she had once supposedly been in love with.

"I'm not sure. Likely in Alberta. Maybe the best thing is to tell you about me ... so you can understand my situation better."

I lay back on the pillow as she sat up to tell me about herself.

"I was born in North Sydney, Nova Scotia, on Cape Breton Island. That's strange, isn't it? From an island on the east coast to an island on the west coast. Anyway, I have a sister and a brother, both older than me. Quite a bit older, in fact. I'm kind of an 'oops' to my parents. Mother was forty-two when I was born. My brother and sister still live in the Sydney area.

"Anyway, I was a bit of problem for them. As I grew up and was in my teens, I was pretty wild. My parents didn't know what to do about me. They tried to get my sister, Flo, to yank me into line, but I wasn't listening to any of them. I lost my virginity at the ripe old age of fifteen. I found out I liked sex, so word got around that I would put out for the right guy at the right time. At first, I was lucky. But I didn't use any protection, so sooner or later it was going to catch up to me. It did. I got a double header. Not only was I pregnant, but I had an STD as well.

"I went to the free clinic and they treated me. I told my parents that I was pregnant, but not about the disease. They were pissed, as you can imagine, but I told them I wanted an abortion. They had to sign something so that I could have that done, but luckily, they signed. I never had to tell them about the STD. After that, I was a hell of a lot more careful about having sex. I'd had to tell the clinic who my sex partners were and I named three guys. You should have seen the look the nurse gave me. I was lower than pond scum in her eyes."

She paused and looked at me, possibly wondering how I was taking this confession.